Because many people mistake tough […] It doesn’t necessarily mean you have a bad family. But you don't have to take part in this. Before telling a toxic family member how they make you feel, try this. If you're not ready to cut family out of your life—or you don't think their behavior is extreme enough to warrant it—you may be tempted to call them out on what they're doing in an effort to break the cycle. People assume that every family member will be supportive, loving, caring, empathetic, and loyal to one another. When someone stops talking to you, there is usually a cause behind it. It just depends on your circumstances and all the different factors that have played into your life. “We have our parents for 30 to 50 years, but we have siblings for 50 to 80 years,” she says. I want us to have a balanced living situation and that causes me stress.” ... My dad has turned all other family members against me…I joined FB because of family member in VA and I’m n NC…in fact I’m currently holding a fundraiser on FB and not ONE family member has donated ! Family systems theory was introduced by Dr. Murray Bowen in the 1960s. Thank you so much for this article. The word ‘family’ is mostly associated with good things. It was an expectation. Finding ways to encourage healthy choices while protecting yourself is important for you and your family. If a family member is a constant state of need, then they are toxic to your health. Changing Family Dynamics: We just love talking about theories around here, so let’s start with one. I have a manipulative family member and it has caused me a lot of pain over the years. Sometimes we can slight someone without realizing it. Anybody who estranges themselves from family does not do so lightly. Family members take on different roles from time to time in order to help each other out. Unfortunately, many families are dysfunctional. Well, first of all, let go of the idea that this is about you, or something she did to you. You might be dealing with an elderly parent, a sibling struggling with addiction or mental health issues, an ill relative, or some other family member. Taking care of them, fixing problems they encounter, and having to treat them like a child you are looking after, are all signs that they are contributing to your health in a negative way. You can say, "If you're going to keep speaking to me that way, then we're done with this conversation." Those who initiate family estrangement often feel deep regret later. Whether you resonate with all, some, or none of these key points, just remember that if you don’t really talk to your family, it’s OK. Why is this important? We were very close as children, but for as long as I can remember she’d ask me for favors and have me doing things for her without ANY show of appreciation or gratitude. 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