• Landover Baptist Church Backslides, Endorses Barack HUSSEIN Obama

    January 26, 2009 7:40 am 12 comments
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    B. Hussein Obama infecting masses with liberalism.

    The world grew a little bit darker today as none other than one of the old strongholds of piety, the good men and stay at home moms of Landover Baptist Church, were officially infected with the Liberal Agenda and quite possibly a full blown case of the atheism.

    Upon going to the home page of their world wide web internet site, the following shocking abandonment of faith and all things virtuous is displayed:

    LANDOVER BAPTIST CHURCH FORUMS, the home of TRUE CHRISTIANS™ everywhere, officially endorses the candidacy of Barack HUSSEIN Obama for President of the United States. Our senior Theologians have determined that Barack and Michelle Obama and, of course their children are ethnically Caucasion. He may simply have self-identified incorrectly due to peer pressure at Harvard, but in any case GOD does not make mistakes. We regret any unfortunate jokes that non-Christians may have posted on our forum in the past that might be in any way construed as being anti-Harvard and we feel certain that our tax-exempt status and government grants will continue without interruption.

    As all of our community and readers are well apprised, B. Hussein is the devil. Like pharaohs of old who tried to kill all the first born of the children of Israel, Obama’s terror agenda will see newborns stabbed and killed in the head upon birth. Yes, he will kill babies…dead. This is Obama’s favorite form of abortion and quite possibly sacrifice to appease his idols.

    Being a follower of a none-true religion, Obama will trick all of your children into worshiping idols in their schools! Your heart should be wildly racing with fear and panic! As we speak, he is seeking to replace the words to the pledge of allegiance with words that support abortion, the homogay marriage and all other sorts of demon-ry.

    As we speak, Obama has already started his machinations in making one world government where every poor, slothful person is ensured prosperity just on the basis that they are born. Such work is naturally sinister, yet for some reason Landover Baptist Church has been caught not only endorsing Obama, but also claiming that through Darwin’s EVILOUTION Obama is somehow a new species of white and that he is somehow on a divine mission.

    My dear friends, the implication of what has happened to the scribes of Landover Baptist Church shows Obama has already started his dark rise and eventual reign. It’s quite obvious that their senior theologians have been converted to the cult of iniquity and are in need of cleansing.

    At this point many concerned readers are wondering how such fervent defenders of the faith have fallen wayward, and our inquisitive friends, mark my words…when you find out your spine shall be chilled.

    The pagan Hat of Aretha, as worn by a rightfully afflicted Dick Cheney

    The pagan Hat of Aretha, as worn by a rightfully afflicted Dick Cheney

    Those who sinned and partook in watching the Obama inauguration ceremony were born witness to the singing and attire of one Aretha Franklin, followed by a cabal of instrumentalists lead by Yo Yo Ma. As we know, the purpose of instruments in sacred ceremony is patently sinister and this was no exception. Our resident science expert Dr. Pat Heinkel, who has refuted evolution and proven creationism by the science of faith, has discovered that if you play the inauguration music in reverse, you hear what can only be described as Rock N’ Roll.

    Such shiny graven idols (Aretha’s Hat, Mr. Ma’s smugmess) and music should remind you all of a classic movie scene, when Moses was forced to throw the Ten Commandments at the formerly liberated people of Israel.

    Our experts inform us that the hat is used to mark high priests in Obama’s church of Soviet Liberalism.  By ‘googling’ the term Aretha’s Hat is Everywhere, you can see how widespread Obama’s wicked reach has already spread.

    Loyal friends, it’s during these trying times that we must remember that we are indeed living in a time of great suffering and sin. Hunger, disease war, disparity, economic failure and the gay all exist within society. These are all afflictions brought to man by the presidency of Obama.

    Many of you today may be too young to remember, but a long time ago the US was under the divinely inspired and sage deciding of George W. Bush. Under Bush’s wise leadership, we brought peace and freedom to terrorists of false creed, had nearly cured world hunger by spreading capitalism and enjoyed a time of prosperity. Now, dark times are upon us.

    At this point some people will maintain that ‘George Bush started those things and they always existed!’. If anyone says that, it’s because they watched Obama’s inauguration ceremony, like the fallen  scribes of Landover, and now their perception of reality is drunken and perturbed by the wine of liberals.

    Do not be fooled, good listeners and readers. Lest you find yourself fallen and deceived with the growing masses of fools.

    Let us now look upon what is truly transpiring these days. The rise of Nicholae Carpathia:

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    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!

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