Only a few years ago, Iraq was a very dark, desolate place. The lands were full of sand and the people were forced to live in little hovels, much like seen with the Tuscan Raiders in George Lucas’ Star Wars series.
While the day burned hotter than the surface of the Sun, the cold, icy grip of night weather even managed to chill the bosoms of the most frost-hearted terrorists.
And they were naturally all terrorists. Not by choice, but because that is the only thing they knew. Just as natural as breathing was the desire to bring terror to everything. It was their life. Indeed, it was their way.
At the head of this dark, freedom-less land was a dictator, Saddam Hussein. His ideals were those that the likes of Mao and Stalin had championed — death to prosperity, death to freedom.
But a man named George W. Bush had a vision…a vision of peace and prosperity for a land of darkness. Though no one could see Bush’s divine vision, he persevered. He brought freedom to the people of Iraq.
And the rest is history.
This past weekend in Iraq, grass grew in the yards of families who now lived in proper Western-styled homes. Kids laughed merrily as their parents went to market, to buy gifts for each other. What gifts?
Valentine’s Day gifts. You see, the freedom of George W. Bush has caused the hands of each and every former terrorist, who once only knew how to hate and burn effigies, to instead buy beautiful Hallmark cards and Russell Stover’s chocolates for one another.
Now some people may be concerned that this is too optimistic an outlook, and perhaps you are right. The lands of the Persiarabias are still wrought with many, many people who do not love freedom. That’s because they still need to be brought freedom, and if you elect a nice war-loving Republican in 2012 we will surely be sending more freedom to them.
So today, my friends, remember the story of this couple and know that this is how it is all across Iraq, aside from a few very minor little spots. Everyone is in love and living a relaxed life, and celebrating Valentine’s Day, and it’s all because we have perservered for so long in sharing our love and freedom to all. Touching.