Godless Soviets Hold Annual Miss Atom Beauty Pageant, Name Alyona Kirsanova The Winner
The Godless Soviets were busy holding their Miss Atom contest the past week, during which they were selecting a new litter of female international spies who will be tasked with stealing nuclear secrets from fine, upstanding American scientists, agents and moral politicians.
This year the Soviets — a cold, atheistic people who’ve committed all sorts of atrocities such as attempting to arm Cuba with nukes and murdering beloved American hero Apollo Creed in a hate crime because of his ancestry — named a 22-year-old Siberian snow-vixen Alyona Kirsanova as the contest winner.
Below is an image of this new Kremlin nuclear-secrets agent and if you go to this site, you’ll see images of her. There is also a bunch of foreign gobbledygook writing on there that you should ignore, as it’s just anti-capitalist, pro Trotsky-Stalin propaganda.
Soviet Russian women can seduce then murder you, all to obtain nuclear secrets
If you’re traveling abroad or work at a power plant, beware the threat of Soviets! They will tie you up, force nuclear secrets out of you and then try to kill you or leave you for dead in some elaborate trap.
Sources indicate that each year the Soviet Russian atomic energy department holds this dangerous Miss Atom competition. The competition involves several parts, which allegedly include immoral segments such as bikini seduction, broken English double-entendre wielding, black-leather seduction competition and tying up a grown man quickly contest. The women selected and trained by this Miss Atom contest are certainly forces which none should take lightly.
Our intelligence also reports that the top ten winners of each pageant may be sneaked into the United States, or placed in designated areas where they are tasked with seducing men of morality, all in exchange for nuclear secrets.
Now as you know, America was blessed with the knowledge of making the Atomic Bomb during the troubling times of World War 2. Americans needed nuclear technology to bring peace to a very combative Europe and Asia, who had fallen to the ways of atheism and pagan idol worship, respectively.
Through betrayals by the Democrats ever since the 1950s, the Soviets, Sino-soviets and now even terrorists of the Persian-Arabias are gaining access to the inner workings of proper nuclear technology.
This competition marks the beginning of their next attempts to close ground on the knowledge of nuclear weapons, which the American people have only used for good but you know the foreign legions of impiety will surely use to reign in an era of death and destruction.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Abe
If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack.
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11:54 am
poor PS job, running out of ideas?
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12:06 pm
^ Click the link you dumb moron. This is real.
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3:21 pm
Its satire, duh.
“Soviet Russian women can seduce then murder you, all to obtain nuclear secrets”
Sounds like The Onion to me.
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8:05 pm
IS THIS SITE A JOKE? JESUS JOKE?
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11:17 pm
omg you people are fucking hillarious!
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5:56 pm
Thank you for letting the world know that the fall of the Berlin Wall and Mikhael Gorbachov’s premiership were just propogandist liest, and that the Soviet Union has been alive and well for 29 years in complete secrecy without any power! Lord Praise!
Jesus has nothing against the news. I suggest you catch up on the past 30 years.
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11:44 pm
In Soviet Russia
36-24-36 is She…
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Ya know, I think I know why you are scared of her…
because she is smart.
And smart women scare freaks like you.
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12:31 am
They all have that certain ‘glow’ about them.
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8:57 am
As a real christian, I am disgusted by your idiocy. This is exactly why people are afraid to learn about the real Jesus because lunatics like yourself pretend to preach His word but only choose to use inflammatory and ridiculous comments to get attention. Go back to the street corner yelling at people to repent before they burn in Hell. I am sure that was just as effective for the Kingdom. God is about love, not judgement. What verse backs up your position? I am sure you don’t have one. Try Psalm 37:8. Try reading the Bible, not just talking about it.
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11:02 pm
This is quite possibly the most stupid post I have ever seen in all the internet. Paranoid much?
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11:04 pm
How exactly do you get off calling yourself a Christian when all you do is propagate prejudice, fear and hatred?
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3:06 pm
rofl That wasn’t photoshop’d or anything :p
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3:37 pm
No, it wasn’t. Russia holds this competition every year.
http://miss2010.nuclear.ru/en/
Seems unbelievable that they would do it, but that’s what happens when you get someone with morals as low as the Soviets.
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4:17 pm
in case you didnt notice SOVIET UNION DOESNT EXIST ANYMORE!
Союз Советских Социалистических Республик doesnt exist anymore!neither does your brain if you think it does.
“knowledge of nuclear weapons, which the American people have only used for good but you know the foreign legions of impiety will surely use to reign in an era of death and destruction.”
you cant use weapon like that for good and you know it do you know what it can do?!and Russia has more nukes that america and even more powerfull nukes.
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2:32 pm
not to mention that Both russia and america develloped nuke in same time
therefore only USA used it and we saw what it’s does
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