• Godless Soviets Hold Annual Miss Atom Beauty Pageant, Name Alyona Kirsanova The Winner

    February 13, 2009 6:47 pm 15 comments

    The Godless Soviets were busy holding their Miss Atom contest the past week, during which they were selecting a new litter of female international spies who will be tasked with stealing nuclear secrets from fine, upstanding American scientists, agents and moral politicians.

    This year the Soviets — a cold, atheistic people who’ve committed all sorts of atrocities such as attempting to arm Cuba with nukes and murdering beloved American hero Apollo Creed in a hate crime because of his ancestry — named a 22-year-old Siberian snow-vixen Alyona Kirsanova as the contest winner.

    Below is an image of this new Kremlin nuclear-secrets agent and if you go to this site, you’ll see images of her. There is also a bunch of foreign gobbledygook writing on there that you should ignore, as it’s just anti-capitalist, pro Trotsky-Stalin propaganda.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Soviet Russian women can seduce then murder you, all to obtain nuclear secrets

    If you’re traveling abroad or work at a power plant, beware the threat of Soviets! They will tie you up, force nuclear secrets out of you and then try to kill you or leave you for dead in some elaborate trap.

    Sources indicate that each year the Soviet Russian atomic energy department holds this dangerous Miss Atom competition. The competition involves several parts, which allegedly include immoral segments such as bikini seduction, broken English double-entendre wielding, black-leather seduction competition and tying up a grown man quickly contest. The women selected and trained by this Miss Atom contest are certainly forces which none should take lightly.

    Our intelligence also reports that the top ten winners of each pageant may be sneaked into the United States, or placed in designated areas where they are tasked with seducing men of morality, all in exchange for nuclear secrets.

    Now as you know, America was blessed with the knowledge of making the Atomic Bomb during the troubling times of World War 2. Americans needed nuclear technology to bring peace to a very combative Europe and Asia, who had fallen to the ways of atheism and pagan idol worship, respectively.

    Through betrayals by the Democrats ever since the 1950s, the Soviets, Sino-soviets and now even terrorists of the Persian-Arabias are gaining access to the inner workings of proper nuclear technology.

    This competition marks the beginning of their next attempts to close ground on the knowledge of nuclear weapons, which the American people have only used for good but you know the foreign legions of impiety will surely use to reign in an era of death and destruction.

    Thanks for rating this! Now tell the world how you feel through social media. .
    How does this post make you feel?
    • Excited
    • Fascinated
    • Amused
    • Shocked
    • Sad
    • Angry
    About The Author
    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!

    Facebook Conversations