• Is It Ok For My Christian Daughter To Masturbate?

    February 28, 2009 8:43 am 427 comments


    Send your advice questions to Amber at askamber@christwire.org

    Dear Amber,
    I first want to say I’m a really big fan of your work on ChristWire and really enjoy your insight into our world’s pressing issues. The question I have for you today is really embarrassing, but I hope that by asking it here I can help other parents out there too.

    Some time ago my daughter forgot to take her laundry from the dryer before taking off for volleyball practice, so I folded them up and went to put them up for her in room.

    When I reached in her undergarment drawer and I will be frank, my heart dropped as I found one of those electronic phallic objects in it. They are used to ‘M’ and I didn’t know how to handle the situation. I thought to ask my husband, but didn’t want him to have to go through the embarrassment and anguish of such things. I instead asked several of my close girlfriends, some of who are not Christians, and some of them said this was a normal part of a healthy teen’s lifestyle.

    The night I decided to talk to my daughter about all this, I heard well…I heard reason to not go in the room. I believe she was using the device then. Is this really alright behavior for a good girl or do I need to confront her? Please help!

    - Concerned in San Diego

    Dear Concerned in San Diego,
    You need to immediately take that sinful device from your daughter. Masturbation is another form of pornography that will infest your daughter’s mind and serve as a gateway to far worse sexual activities.

    Studies show that 87% of the women who become prostitutes did so because of unbridled masturbation as a teenager, and over 90% of girls who become pregnant as teenagers did so because of masturbation loosened their morals and made them more apt to engage in unprotected fornication.

    Masturbation will make your daughter very comfortable exploring her body, and it will not be long until she begins to envision other people partaking in the deviant behavior with her.

    This will of course lead to your daughter seeking out a male companion, or even female. As a teenager, your daughter’s mind is not yet developed enough to handle the pressures and responsibilities of being sexually active. It will lead to great sorrow in her life if you don’t put a stop to it right now.

    So first, have a talk with your daughter and pray with her. Pray all that sinful desire of masturbation right out of her heart. Throw the device away, and then enroll her in some abstinence counseling sessions. These will teach your daughter the value and need of respecting her body until marriage. Masturbation is very unnatural and by taking proactive steps to get this bizarre behavior out of your teen’s life, you’ll ensure she has a better future.
    -Amber

    Hi Amber!

    Help! I’m currently trying to impress a young lady that I’d like to ask to my spring formal. She’s truly special and I thought that maybe asking her on a few dates ahead of time, then showering her with gifts would warm her heart to me so when I ask her, she’ll well know my intentions and heart. Any suggestions on what to do in particular would be great. Thanks!

    M.B., Maryland

    Hi MB!,

    Young love is truly exciting and what you’ve planned to do sounds truly wonderful. I suggest many, many chocolates and don’t just ask her on dinner dates. Mix it up! Ask her out to breakfast or lunch. Learn her interests and then set up a date or two that revolves around those too. Do things as friends and let your relationship progress from there.
    -Amber

    Dear Amber,
    My family are very devout Christians (I don’t even know if there was a generation of ust that wasn’t) and my father is also a pastor. I recently met a charming boy who I love dearly and in my heart I feel we can really go great places together, he’s wonderful.

    The problem is that he is Muslim and my family do have a problem with trust, call them very patriotic. How do I explain to my family that they have to get to know the person and not judge on outside prejudice?

    - Wisconsin girl in love

    Dear Wisconsin Love,

    Your parents love you with all their heart and are looking out for your best interest. Many people do not realize this, but the threat of Homegrown Terrorism is very, very high and every neighborhood may have an American jihadist traitor lurking about.

    Jihad USA: Confronting the threat of homegrown terror is an excellent piece that will open your eyes against this very serious threat to America and potentially to your life.

    Imagine the sorrow in your parents hearts if this young man is one of the hundreds of millions of Muslims who could potentially be working with homegrown terrorists, and he did something to harm you. Would that not be a cruel fate to place on your parents?

    That is their concern, Wisconsin Girl. When you’re young it’s really easy to want to combat your parents and not take their word to heart. But know they are always looking out for your best interests and something in their guts is telling them, “no, no, no”.

    So talk to them more about their views on terrorists in America and ask the young man about it too. If he becomes upset with you asking and gets offended, run! He may be guilty. Your parents love you and someone else does too, Wisconsin Girl. :)

    - Amber

    Dear Ms. Cooper,

    My son loves video games! I know that there are many bad games out there that cause violence in our youth, but my boy really loves playing games (arcades, handheld, computer) and is a tech wiz. My wife and I would like to get him a really nice new gaming set and television for his upcoming bday (his grades are really awesome too) and feel he would appreciate it. What games can we get to go with his gift?

    Jim R., S.D.

    Dear Jim R.,

    It is great to hear about your son’s grades and to also know that you and your wife are reinforcing his interests and achievements with responsible parental glee. Today too many parents buy entertainment systems for their children without properly taking review into what their kid’s are getting for their personal computers and video gaming machines.

    I should also mention that many video games do indeed inspire the desire for violence, terrorism and hedonistic acts in teenager. Therefore you should surely limit your son’s gaming time, even when playing a good Christian reviewed game, to no more than three or four hours per week.

    Also remember this. For every hour your play, two hours you pray!

    Your teen will love the extra prayer time and video games can be great fun for the entire family as well. My family recently bought the Wii and we are enjoying the Wii sports options on it.

    There are also two great sites you should look at!
    Christian Centered Gamer
    Plain Games
    Guide 2 Games (Though some of their reviews are a bit too secular and do not use enough scrutiny)

    These sites are invaluable when looking for new (or old) gaming options for your teens.


    If you would like to ask Amber a question or for a word of life-enriching advice, simply email AskAmber@christwire.org.

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