• New Sexually Active Heathen Tshirt Companies Strike Back in Tshirt War

    February 6, 2009 4:39 pm 24 comments

    As visitors from our various congregations and online communities as well may know, we are currently engaged in a massive battle against several heathen t-shirt companies.

    Dirty Shirty Girls tempt people to buy their very, very naughty shirts.

    Dirty Shirty Girls tempt people to buy their very, very naughty shirts.

    Some time ago our friend Tyson Bowers III uncovered the works of tshirt company named Dirty Shirty. In an very shocking and frightening account, Tyson shared with us how that vile tshirt company actually propositioned his baby girl, a sophomore coed in college, and talked her into modeling off these shirts! Tyson was rightfully livid and immediately went to his girl’s school to chastise her and also collect her modeling shirts so they could be disposed.

    Not long after this incident, the Agents of Morality decided to support a new great brand of tshirts, entitled the Ex-masturbator and Ex-homosexual, or Ex-sin, product series line.

    Naturally, there would be nothing more proud for a convert to piety than wearing these tshirts, which proudly state your improved way of life, similar to how new-boycotters of France were able to champion the anti-France mugs we were selling several years ago.

    So today it’s a very frustrating and sad thing to learn that several sinister new tshirt company start-ups are selling products, seemingly to mock the line of Ex-sin shirts (which you should support and buy!).

    Here are several of the new offenses:

    1) New Shirt Promoting the Homogay lifestyle

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    2) New Shirt Promoting Premarital Relations
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    The Good Tshirts

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Tshirts young heathen converts will love.

    This is only the tip of the iceberg, but it’s against such things that we must remain steadfast and devoted in our commitment to fighting against.

    In the spread of morality, it’s important to not leave out the urban cultures as well.

    In addition to all the common temptations they have to face, they also must endure the hard street lifestyles, gang violence, black magic voodoos, avoiding the temptation to commit crimes and also everything advocated by their “hipster-hop rap music”.

    It’s for this reason that the Agents of Morality continue to support this company.

    Please see the video below, where we’ve included the statement video with the moral message to the masses:

    If you have any new tshirt ideas for us to use in combat against these vile new creations, please let us see an image of your idea in the comments or email it to the holymailbox. If your design meets specifications, we’ll launch them in our upcoming new-counter product line.

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    About The Author
    Dan Nordgren Born and raised in upstate New York, Dan Nordgren is currently a film student who enjoys martial arts, mountain climbing and football as components of his very active life. Join Team Sarah TODAY

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