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The Scary Japanese Robot Threat to America, Earth
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As you know, Japan is currently a hotzone nation, that is a region where the people are full of promise but lack the light to show them the way to morality. There is a battle between good and evil for the minds within Japan.
During my last mission trip to Japan, I uncovered and encountered many eye-opening accounts that included their perverse television habits, scary gay festivals and even their sly, sinister plan of sneaking hentai tentacle perversion animes to your children!
We certainly cannot forget Dan’s alarming warnings of this new bizarre trend of cephalerotica and them doing questionable nude art as well.
More so than not, despite their transgressions against America in the past, the people of Japan are some of the most sweet, gentle and impassioned. They love life.
And naturally, that’s how it should be. Everyone on Earth is fearfully and wonderfully made, and at the core people are good by nature. Nevertheless, the influence and persuasions to do evil are abundant in liberal societies, and Japan is not an exception.
As you may know, after America saved Earth from the NAZI-Asia alliance during World War 2, the compassionate government of our great land sought to teach the vanquished enemies of good the way of sciences, arts and civics. This was done not only out of compassion, but to also teach the good people of Japan that there was more to life than being a Kamikaze war-monger.
Since that time our former enemies in Japan have progressed quite impressively in the field of science, specifically robotics. Though robotics can have good applications for Earth, I fear that with Japan leading the way in the field of robotics (behind the USA), that we are all in danger.
Quite simply, Japan is creating robots that are both creepy and frightening.
The Creepy Japanese Robot Menace
As you well know, the Japanese represent a very uninhibited society who does actions first and then asks questions later. If a future government ever does employ lifeless robots in a perverse form of martial law, where you’re not allowed to have your Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth manuals or need a “special mark” to do something like shop for food, rest assured that it will all start in the heart of Tokyo (probably in some weird gameshow)
That said, the latest abomination of robot is named Saya the Receptionist. With a face like the one on this robot, you’d expect to see it warding off evil spirits in a rural swamp.
Now, before showing you see this video I’m first going to preface it with a Do No Want Tech warning label.
Ha! Not enough warning, right!
Good, that’s the same amount of warning you’ll have before Ms. Roboto here shows up to tell you resistance is futile, prostate probing is eminent.
On to the video..
Now if being attacked by such foul-faced robots is not scary enough, scientists at Osaka University have plan to continue to release updates to the latest and most human robot to date in their long-standing Repliee series. This particular robot has caught major attention due to the amount of detail, somewhat actually disturbing, and advanced features the robot science team implemented.
Based on a real five-year-old Japanese girl, this machine is supposed to be the most human built to date.
The first reaction critics and admirers alike seemed to agree on is that the robot itself is a bit creepy. At the premiere for this machine, several people were concerned that the scientists seem to take time to actually put what appeared to be ‘crusted sleep’ in its eyes.
Aside from the questionable aesthetics, this advanced robot has sensors which will be developed so it may do very basic tasks for elderly and disabled. These tasks will allegedly include object retrieval, locomotive assistance, holding conversation and providing entertainment.
This particular Repliee R-1 model uses a silicone based skin to achieve human texture and is a part of a series that includes the original Repliee Q1 and Repliee Q2 (Ando-san) models, as reviewed below.
All robots in this series are also being developed to include very human actions. Each robot is already programmed and designed to blink and breathe. Repliee Q2, the most advanced adult human female model, is being programmed to carry on basic and eventually complex conversation. The Japanese government is backing the robotic servant sector as it expects that within only 10 years, the robotic industry will reach a demand in excess of $10 billion USD.
Repliee Q1 Robot
Repliee Q2 Robot (Ando-san)
Now while these robots may look innocent and feeble enough right now, do not be fooled.
Remember, as good as the Japanese are at their core, they do have a tendency to let their ability get ahead of their morality. It’s a learning process. The same reason Hitler was able to tempt them to use their knowledge of sailing to sneak attack Pearl Harbor may be the very same reason a future dictator, let’s call him Nicolai Carpathia, will be able to persuade Japan to sneak attack your country with these robots, having them pin you down to give you evil marks and renounce your faith.
These robots will also be used with those immoral cyberdildonics technology we discussed as well. Sexbots. That’s going to be the application of any Japanese headed robotic field.
For these reasons above all, it’s my personal opinion that the good people of Japan are not yet ready for robot technology. America should indeed dictate that the UN sends peacekeepers into Japan to peacefully shut down all their robot research facilities.
Much as with nuclear arms, the field of robotics has way too many dangerous applications and should be only trusted to a responsible, moral nation like America, who only uses technology to bring peace and stability to the world.
9:01 am
Oh man… I’ve only just realised this site is a joke. Or at least I hope it is.
I… just…. don’t… know….. anymore.
Either way, well done you crazy fools – I love your fantastic insane stories.
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1:01 pm
very similar to the Pirates of the Carribean ride at disney land. I just hope you all know that if christainity is true, you are ALL going to hell. I cant wait.
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6:37 pm
my word, these articles are so well written. there is so much conviction in these words. simply looking at the number of comments on the article about being “extremely terrified of chinese people” is proof that this site accomplishing its purpose.
once you know its all satire, its actually pretty funny.
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9:10 am
America is not a moral nation as you say. Quite to contrary America employs debtors prison and the courts of America often purposely disregard the truth. You can loose your drivers lincense, passport, working license and freedom all because of debt in America. My aticle writing abilities are not the best in the world, to say the least, so please add to the wikipedia article about debtors debt, such an abomination doesn’t deserve to go unnoticed for ever:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Debtor's_prison
As for the robots, I think you are beeing very paranoid. One of my favorite movies is Terminator, but remember, it’s just a movie. Japanese game shows are some of the most fun TV shows ever. Please Pastor Jack “Jbox” Gould, first take the log out of the eye of America and then take the speck out of the eye of Japan.
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6:55 pm
ROR!
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4:33 pm
Religious people are afraid of everything, aren’t they? “Satan’s coming to get me!”, “That’s your shadow.”, “Aah, the evil serpent!”, “That’s a stick.”, “Aah! The Holy Ghost!”, “That’s your shadow again. You know what? I’m not going for a walk with you anymore. And would you put down the bible?”
Believe in peace and love and God. And if you don’t believe, I’ll smash your head in with this rock.
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4:29 pm
After seeing Tyson’s true message about these scary new YouTube videos, the robot threat strikes twice as much fear in my heart.
I’m going to make a bunch of crosses and set them around my house to ward away evil dreams and thoughts tonight, and you guys probably should too.
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4:15 pm
Well my dearest childs, robots are, indeed, a very dangerous tread for us. I mean they have lasers and shit. But lets not forget that they’re killing machines. Killing motherfucking machines that haunts on our deepest dreams. With fucking saws and claws and flamethrowers and shit. Let’s just prey these motherfuckers don’t learn to fucking fly.
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3:47 am
Don’t worry my friends. When they invade America ill crush them with my Gundam.
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11:29 am
Bahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
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4:12 am
Are you guys kidding me? I’m going to come smack you all with my word. Assholes.
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8:39 pm
And concerns like these, kids, are the reason why there will be the 3 Laws of Robotics, should we ever invent a real AI.
1st Law: A robot will never act in any way that could physically harm a human. This includes that they will be forced to help persons in distress, should they have any ability to do so.
2nd Law: A robot will always obey the orders of its owner. As long as these don´t conflict with the 1st Law.
3rd Law: A robot will always try to preserve itself as long as it would not conflict with the 2nd or 1st Law while doing this.
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4:08 pm
I’m pretty much sure it’s was japanese scientist who come sup with those law weird enough right ?
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2:26 pm
No, it was Isaac Asimov. Do Not Want is a caption added to pictures that show things that look disgusted or disappointed. Idiots.
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11:51 pm
“…and should be only trusted to a responsible, moral nation like America, who only uses technology to bring peace and stability to the world…”
Is it a joke????, America is the bloodiest country in the World, creating wars here and there, killing and killing people all around the globe.
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4:09 pm
well bring peace if Only USA survive the peace will be there no ? lol
and stability if Only USA survive there is stability No ? okay I shut up
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3:38 pm
Funny. Everyone, at one time, knew this was a satire site. However, according to research, some of these authors actually believe what they are writing. Now, this site is no longer satire, but is actually a serious example of what should happen should zealotry ever take over the Christian populace. Sad to say, ne? Also, one more thing; the Anti-Christ will be raised Christian, and see that Christianity is wrong. The Anti-Christ is simply the person who will see that organized religion destroys society and harmony. Which makes every Anarchist, Independent Spiritualist, or other outcast that was raised in a Christian society an Anti-Christ. My friends, Anonymous is Anti-Christ.
We never forgive. We never forget. We are legion. We are many. Man the fucking harpoons…We Are Anonymous.
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6:53 am
I think you are totally whacked out. Is this site a joke? It has to be! Maybe the jokes on me!
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4:05 pm
cristwire are you aware that in the advert spaces there is an advert for a lesbian daating site and although i have no problem with lesbians i think tou might
just thought i’d let you know!
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