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Watch Twilight Movie Online Now, Your Heart will Race with Fear and Panic
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Jack Gould
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hide your kids liberal propaganda things that scare parents twilight movie watch twilight movie online nowHello, dear friends. I come to you today with an urgent message of great concern. A message that will strike fear and terror into you hearts!
Indeed, this is a message of truth for all parents and all teens and you must take heed to my words. A new movie named Twilight is out, and it will turn your kids into blood-sucking sociopaths.
Mr Edward Cullen is a scary vampire who’ll infect your kids with liberal agenda
photo credit: Ezyan Y.I first received word of this Twilight movie at last night’s L.U. youth rally, where a group of spirited college girls discussed a new drink called Tomato. It is apparently a wine spirit borne in the far away, drunken woodlands of the Inuit-indian Canadias, and its purpose is sinister.
This drink is a gateway drink, but it doesn’t necessarily gateway to dangerous habits such as smoking the ‘weed’ (which leads to about 68,000 deaths/year in the US alone) or other drugs, but instead does something that is equally dangerous.
It infects your kids with the ancient spirits of vampirism!
I know that this is all very much to take in at once, and is scaring you senseless, but harden your resolve, fight back those tears and continue reading. The safety of your children is on the line.
After being shocked and frightened about this new tomato drink, I asked the girls how it suddenly became so popular among the young adult cohort. This is when I first found out about this Twilight movie for the first time.
For those of you who have not been warned about the demonic Twilight movie, I’ll provide a quick historical synopsis, plot and video clip from this very alarming tale of evil mystic wonders, black magic and pagan worship.
The story plays out like a very macabre, perverted Romeo and Juliet. It features an atheistic, heathen girl who is new to a school and immediately falls in love with a very pale, effeminate man-child who is found out to actually be a vampire.
A champion of policies such as abortion and gay-marriage, Vlad the Imapler’s (aka Count DRACULA) party affiliation was Democrat
Now as you know, the cult of vampirism has its roots in an atheistic Eastern Europe, where a group of villagers started to do weird rituals after they lost the ways of morality. At the head of this Romanian village, named Wallachia, was a very scary man named Vlad Tepes, or as you more commonly know him, Vlad Dracula (Count Dracula).
Dracula literally translates to serpent or the devil, and Vlad Dracula certainly played the part. Historical archives reveal that the satanic Vlad Dracula supported things such as gay marriage, social welfare and even eagerly supported the policies that served as precedent for Roe vs. Wade.
All in all, Dracula’s policies are essentially the same as modern liberal democrats such as Bill Clinton or Hussein Obama, and as such, it should not surprise you that there is a modern movement to turn all of your kids into atheistic liberals through this woefully crafted Twilight movie!
Twilight, the movie, first supports the gay-agenda by having male vampires that ‘sparkle in sunlight’, much like you’d expect to see from a fantastically sequined ‘male’ piano player from England. As if that wasn’t enough, a love forms between a vampire named Edward Cullen and a normal human girl named Bella, who is written to gain popularity in school because she’s a rebel, non-conservative, pretty and grossly liberal. Propaganda at its worst.
The vampire and misguided girl eventually fornicate and have a baby (which I’m told will take place later in the series). This is all sorts of wrong as it teaches your teens that not only is premarital sex ok, but also that laying as a prostitute to demonic forces is a great thing. The movie encourages your girls to lust after effeminate sparkling boys whose fathers support atheist liberal agendas such as mass murdering innocents and destruction of the nuclear family.
I wish I could say these were the worst elements of the movie, but it does indeed get worse. This is where the tomato comes in. Not satisfied in just trying to convert your kids into the school of atheistic liberality,Twilight reinforces a culture in which vampires are seen as good. An innate part of being a vampire involves the letting and sucking of blood.
Much as modern liberals love to murder and suck blood by aborting babies, vampire pagans of ancient texts are revealed to do that and more. Somewhat bound by morality, kids are playing vampire by drinking these sinful tomato drinks and playing vampire dress-up so as to emulate what they see here…
Watch this Twilight Movie Clip online and you will be very frightened.
A young teen who was infected with vampirism, by the Twilight movie, was mysteriously lead to create a scary real-life depiction of the demonic vampire child that grew in Bella’s womb.
I am terribly frightened about this movie and the new cult of vampire spirits it has infected in our kids. Imagine, you may be sound asleep one night, only to awaken amidst a circle of softly burning candles, all while bound at your hands and feet.
Suddenly a group of wild eyed teens will emerge from nowhere and inflict you with all sorts of strange rituals! Liberals will try to say this is extreme, but lo it has already started.
A young watcher of this movie has already constructed a womb which shows the vampire demon child from the movie.
Parents, beware the new threat of vampires. Beware, beware!
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9:08 pm
Yuck! I can’t even watch the trailer.
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10:51 pm
what the fuck are you talking about? teenagers arent gonna become fucking vampire love slaves just because of the fucking movie or the goddamn books. i fucking love twilight and i’m not going to go around biting people. this is so goddamn stupid. ALL YOU FUCKING CHRISTIANS CAN GO TO HELL!! its just a movie and no one is going to go emo or satanic. go fuck your goddamn fake god and get on with your fucking lives.
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11:07 pm
No way this is real. Surely it’s some sort of satire. I find it hard to believe that anyone could read or watch twilight and come up with a conclusion such as this.
At any rate, a correction of fact would be that while Edward and Bella to procreate, it is after they’ve married. There is no premarital sex in any of the 4 Twilight saga stories.
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12:50 am
this is satire, take it easy and enjoy a good chuckle
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12:54 am
We talked about this movie at youth group and it’s definitely evil. All throughout it they were saying all sorts of evil chants and had magic powers.
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10:38 am
Are you for real? Maybe you should actually do research before you write such trash? You are grossly misinformed about this movie and book series. First of all, it’s just that, A MOVIE. It cannot turn anyone into a vampire, which I’m not sure that you understand does not exist. This “Tomato” drink that you speak of has nothing to do with Twilight. It’s not mentioned anywhere movie and has nothing to do with it so you should not act as if it does. Nowhere in the movie does it say or show Bella (or any other character) to be an atheist. It is not macabre & perverted. There is very little violence and absolutely no sex. Edward & Bella are both virgins and do not have premarital sex. But you would know that if you had done your research. They do not have sex until the fourth book and it is AFTER they have been married. So do you believe it’s wrong to have sex after marriage too??? Also, Edward and his family in the movie are not “mass murdering”. They do not kill humans. Again, something you would know if you had done your research.
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5:55 pm
While it is true that this seed of evil and his godless harlot do not have premarital sex or kill humans that does not excuse the evil of the book or movies. Also in defense of the Cullen family they DO promote a hetero-family structure with one male and one female “parent”. Not two males or females. The feel good ends there for me. If you look at the relationship between Edward’s siblings you will see blatant incest. The true tragedy of this movie lies in it’s real heroes. A godless indian tribe who practice evil magic who can shapehift. These godless heathens consider themselves natural enemies to the satanic vampires. However, rather than destroy them they agree to a treaty. The sign of a true liberal. I know in the world of Twilight Chief Jacob will burn in hell for his godless ways. I can only hope there is a special layer of hell as he and his tribe allow the satanic vampire to force their evil ways on an impressionable and willing to please Bella.
p.s. if you took this seriously then you are worse than Hitler.
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11:06 am
christknowiaity was’and still is most potent form of conditioning.nothing we can knyow with absolute certainty’so we must doubt everthing.
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2:27 pm
In a kind of terrible way, I can’t even watch the trailer either. But it’s because I don’t love shit. The movies infects people, yes, with the kind of crappy pretending that only truly hardcore DND fans had a monopoly on. No longer will they be the only ones running around with battleaxes, no, now these shallow little garbage-minded teens run around thinking being a vampire is cool because some gigantic turd Hollywood decided was a good movie has been eaten up by these people that take their advice from super stars, rather than doing what they feel like. What I wanna know, is when did Twilight become cool? One day, everything was fine, and the next, BAM! There are 4 Twilight books and 1,000 vampire wannabe vampire fanboy/girls running around pretending to be cool.
I agree, the movie shouldn’t be watched, and all of the books ever made should be burned, and the author should never be allowed to write again.
But it’s because the movie was the worst I’ve ever had the misfortune of trying to sit through, and the books are, for lack of a better word(s), total shit.
Do the right thing: never let your kids near Twilight or anything associated with it. But do it because no one should have their head filled with such garbage as that. Nothing anti-religious. Just bad plots, terrible characters, and unimaginative everything.
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6:31 pm
Is this for real? I didn’t realize anybody could be so ridiculous. But thanks for giving me a good laugh and cementing my conversion to that evil thing you call atheism. Yet at the same time, I feel somewhat sick that I live in a world with scum like you, and that certainly is not funny.
I can only hope that this is a joke, in which case it’s really excellent satire. For some reason, though, I have the feeling this is just crazy fundamentalist Christians once again showing what ignorant morons they are.
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10:38 pm
… you people are idiots. how the hell are these “tomato” drinks gonna turn ppls into vampires? come on they’re not even real! idiots…. you uh words cant discribe your stupidty… you try and scare people into christianity and well? hows that doing for you? everybody is afraid and goes to the pastor with NO free will of there on because of people like you.
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1:43 pm
So, this site might be better than Cracked.com.
As long as it is a joke…
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11:38 am
I surely hope this is purely a joke. If this isn’t then I may never read another article on Christwire again.
I’m a Christian who rather enjoyed all four books and yes, did think the movie was poorly done. I read the books and watched the movie for entertainment purposes only. I didn’t go out researching satanic anything or drink whatever this tomato drink is or anything like that.
AS A CHRISTIAN we are to share the love of Christ with others. A Pastor once said, “Spread the word of Christ wherever you go and when appropriate preach the Gospel.”
Jesus Christ… GOD is a compassionate Father and the one I know isn’t as condemning over such things as books or movies as the author of this post was. My gosh people… Superman, The Matrix, Twilight… We had better start a vigilante and go after almost every movie on the market.
I’m hoping an admin on Christwire will step up and either close this post at the risk of alienating believers and non believers alike.
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12:46 pm
You know i feel incredibly sorry for all the people you are turning away from Christ with your slander. I was cautious about reading the books because Yes they are about vampires. But there is nothing in the books about what you are talking about. If you would read the books you would find several discussions where your “demonic Vampires” wonder about their souls and what God thinks about them. You should really do research before you start pointing fingers. And look at all the replys where you have just convinced someone that God could care less. Are you forgetting that “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God”?
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6:33 pm
I once met a boy who told me he was a ‘vampire’ and I knew then and there that God all mighty had sent him to me to cleanse. So I fucked the demons out of him. I am now Happy to say that Jack Gould is now completely cured! Praise JESUS!
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3:07 pm
you are messed up. im a CHRISTIAN AND NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. i love twilight and i dont want to be a vampire!! YOU ARE WEIRD
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1:30 am
I am a grown, married woman with 2 kids. I go to church and I’m a good person. I have read all 4 (and beginning of 5th; Edwards POV) books and have seen the movie. It is not evil. It is just a fictional story about love… what every girl wants. If you really look into anything at all in the world you can find good or evil… just let the book and movie(s) be what they are…. a good story. It must be so nice to have such romance… such devotion…. such love. It doesn’t mean anyone is going to really believe it or go out and start doing harm. If they do, they are not mentally stable and/or their parents didn’t raise them to understand that fictional books and t.v. ARE NOT REAL and not meant to be acted out in real life. GO TEAM EDWARD!!
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8:10 pm
You people are so stupid, what the fuck are you even talking about ? Do you even know ? Do you have nothing better to do than sit on your couch and play with yourself ? Then you decide ‘ Oh let me sabatoge a movie that has nothing to do with anything so I can justify my bible thumping’ I believe in god, I am a catholic, I read all the books, I saw the movie and I am not a fucking satanic vampire ! Your saying these people are evil ? You are ! God says not to judge and your judging, you sit there on your high horse like your so important when no one cares about you, I hope you get hit by a bus. Then maybe the vampires will creep out from under the bus and suck the life out of your stupid asses. -
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1:23 pm
This person is not a real christian. first of all some christian religions support gay marriage. second, her views overall do not appear to be christian (more republican snobish) and third she is comparing a murder who willfully ate among the dead and dying (count dracula did that, he would have people impaled on sticks and would eat among them) to democrats. By the way I dont hate democrats or republicans. I am a republican
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8:20 pm
OK, there are a lot of things that are off about this.
1. Twilight and all of the books that follow in it’s series are fictional. They were written by a married, Mormon woman with two children. I don’t see why she of all people would want to write directions as to how to go as far against God as possible.
2. Throughout the books, Edward trys to convince Bella to leave him because he thinks he is a monster and feels that he is committing sins just by existing. He isn’t running around saying, “Look at me! I sparkle and I’m cool and you know you want to be like me! Come with me and we can sacrifice people, drink their blood and bathe in it after we worship Satan!” If anything he wants Bella to stay away so her soul is safe and pure, even though it is obvious through the books that he is a morally good person.
3. The democratic party didn’t even EXIST when Vlad was around, and I’m sure that gay rights were not his biggest priority when he was trying to keep from being killed by all of the people who were trying to take over his country. That makes no sense! His name means “Son of the Dragon” because his father’s name means “Dragon” in Romanian, it’s not serpant or whatever it was they wrote. Please at least wikipedia your info. before you publish it as absolute fact.
4. Site your sources. Claiming that teens are going to perform bloody rituals over you if they read Twilight should probably have some research by some actual experts before it’s given as fact in a reliable article.
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6:05 pm
So dracula’s name means son of the dragon? And what is a dragon? A serpent! Which is a snake, which is the form the devil took in the garden of Eden. Not to mention the references to a great dragon in the book of revelation. The fact that the books author is Mormon is just more proof of her godless intentions. REPENT FOR THE END IS NEAR!
p.s. if you took this seriously please visit you nearest psychiatric unit and check yourself in
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9:21 am
ok budd,y are you anctul christian or are you not serious. I am christian. I love god and jeus adn tiwlight is movie. I loved the books siers adn the movie and I cna’t sequesl. I lvoe edwarsd dan blella and I love the actors. it’s not rea jsut don’t drink bood in rlal fie on and by the way that pic was no in the trailer! and this movie did not people in blood sucking sociaplapths. was this a parody article?
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12:26 pm
“The movie encourages your girls to lust after effeminate sparkling boys”
OMG!! LMAO!! That is so true. Edward ain’t nothing but a pansy boy. If girls are going to lust after vampires, at least let it be real ones like Spike or Angel, not sparkly stalkerish boys who like to emotionally abuse.
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7:21 pm
Tomato is a fruit. Fruit makes juice. Therefore, that newfangled demon drink is from a TOMATO fuckwads.
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7:32 pm
This movie is nothing but gay devil porn,
an atempt to get young teens to have sex with Atheists and muslims
And reject the word of god
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6:50 pm
ok look im in to church adn stuff
but dudes do u really think that
a movie can infect ur kids with anceint
vampire stuff.that is so stupid to make
people think that!i mean im wat 13,and i
love twilight is a romance not a killer movie!
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11:07 pm
Is this a joke? It’s propaganda fraught with poor grammar and severe typos that lead people away from evangelical fanatics like you. Get a grip. Go protest a thirteen year old incestual rape victim having an abortion or something like it. Nuts. Sick.
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12:05 am
Hey proud lib, why don’t you tell rachel Maddow, maybe she can run another story using christwire as her “source”
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4:38 pm
I’m sorry, but this is a load of rubbish.
I am a teenage girl, and a Christian. I go to church, pray, wear a cross and believe in God.
I also love the Twilight saga by the wonderful Stephenie Meyer.
I admit that I have had problems with my religion in the past, but I have come back to God and I know that he has welcomed me back.
And after reading these ‘sinful’ books too!
Three quick things:
1. As Amazed and possible some other said: there is no premarital sex.
2. As Lilou and some others said: Mrs. Meyer is a Mormon. I’m not from the USA, but I’m pretty sure that Mormons are devout, right? So why would she be writing: ‘gay devil porn’?
3. This article is poorly written and researched.
Tomato juice is yum! Oh goodness, now I’m going to become a vampire from drinking FRUIT JUICE!!! Which, for the record, is good for you!
Actually, I’m watching the Twilight movie right now, whilst talking to my friend. I sent her the link to this article and she said: ‘its a fictional story, not meant to promote anything about ‘demons’ or the evils of anything. It’s simply a love story between a vampire-which is not real, and a girl, as they struggle to get through their crazy relationship, with troubles along the way. I’m also christian anyway, and even after reading the books, and seeing the movie, i don’t feel the powerful need to drink any ‘tomato juice’ OR get with any demonic peoples.’
I believe that lying is a sin, and as such I am praying for your soul. Whilst I’m at it, I will ask God to bless Mrs. Meyer with the strength to ignore people like you who give our faith a bad name. I can only pray that this is some kind of sick, twisted joke, else we are more messed up than I would’ve ever thought.
On a side note, I’m interested as to your opinions on the ‘werewolves’ that appear in the second book. You know, in the final book in the saga, one of these werewolves imprints (falls in love with at first sight, for lack of a better term) the newborn Renesmee, Edward and Bella’s daughter (The half-vampire ‘devil child’). And you think the vampire is creepy?
God bless Stephenie Meyer and Twi-hards everywhere.
Now I’m off to drink tomato juice and worship the dark lord whilst having half-vampire demonspawn.
And if you thought I was serious there, you need some serious help. You’re all in my prayers. I hope you get over this obsession with finding fault with everything but the true problems someday.
Team Jasper <3
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6:14 pm
I’m glad to hear that you’ve re-found God. I’ll pray that he sends you a dictionary. Upon receiving it please look up the definition of satire. This entire web site is satire aimed at religious types. The fact that you actually believe this to be serious is sad. To answer you werewolf question, he is a godless heathen who practices the dark magic of shapeshift. He will burn in hell. Thank you for ruining the movie for me as I refuse to pay money to purchase the book.
p.s. if you still think this site is serious go find a sense of humor.
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4:52 pm
I have a bachelor’s degree in Bible Theology from Moody Bible Institute…and I must just say that if this Jack Gould character is serious with this, then he seriously needs to go on Prozac! Things like this are exactly why the world thinks we Christians are a bunch of losers!!! I am 40, and love these books!!! This Gould moron hasn’t read the books, or even researched Dracula and vampires and “Atheistic Eastern Europe” properly!!!!! And he certainly has no concept of the Bible…For one thing, “Dracul”, which is what “Dracula” is derived from, means “Dragon”, NOT “Serpent of the Devil”!! Good GRIEF, get your act together!!! No wonder the world laughs at Christians, with “Christians” like this Gould idiot running around! He must be one of those fools who thinks Catholics are going to hell, and “If the KJV was good enough for the Apostle Paul, then it’s good enough for me!” freaks…
I mean, does he think the books are true? My daughter loves them, and she is a steadfast Christian as well…we’ve had the books for about 2 years now, and I haven’t seen her running off to join the “Vampire Cult”…God help America if this is the type of “quality” Christian out there…
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8:11 pm
This movie sucks, but at least it’s pissing of Christiams.
Fuck yeah.
However, can’t tell if these guys are true ChristFuckers or are just trolling.
Either way, fuckwin.
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8:58 pm
There are a few things to need to know
One. it is a FANTASY. Made up. Storybooks. Fake. Hm much like a certin book you worship?
Two.You have your facts wrong. I myself have read the books…a thing it is very obvious you have not. The two characters are married at the time that she becomes pregnant.
Three.I ask again. Do not have children. Your sick views do not need to be spread in the world
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11:00 pm
I’m also not surprised that the vast majority of the kids who have seen this gobshite of a film are 13 year old girls.
I hope they fantasize of Edwuss, then get their hopes crushed, then kill themselves when they realise their dreams will never become reality.
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11:15 pm
Obvious troll is obvious.
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1:51 am
Where the fuck is “drunken woodlands of the Inuit-indian Canadias”is that supposed to be canada?
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9:41 am
*ahem*
What the hell?
I’m afraid your article did not make much sense to me Mr. Gould, from what I could pick out, you believe that the beloved series Twilight is providing a level ground for young teenagers to start worshipping Satanism…
I’m afraid to tell you that no-one will take you seriously, especially as you have a link under your ‘Blessed This Week’ column called “Black People Music Infects Kid With Devil’s Tribal Dance”
Who do you think you are? Picking on popular cultures won’t get you anywhere, especially with the type of trash that you write.
If you wish to reply, go ahead, I don’t have much to do today =)
P.s As I type, this website is showing me a link for Vampfangs.com, something you may want to remove.
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6:19 pm
I’ll reply since I have nothing to do this evening except plan genocide. This entire site is satire, meaning not serious, I’m unsure what’s more funny the sick since of humor found on this site or tools like you who take this seriously. What kind of lame, uneducated backwoods moron do you have to be to think that just because it’s on the internet it is to be taken serious? If you dislike the content, leave.
p.s. The first amendment was created to protect “offensive” speech. If all speech were non-offensive there would be no need for freedom of speech.
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4:36 pm
shut up.
i want edward cullen in my pants
and im going to let him suck my blood.
all night long
you know you want it too.
p.s im a jew and i have money
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4:38 pm
oh and i stole the popes virginity
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10:34 pm
Ok, I don’t know what kind of demon-possessed, retarded lobotomized crack-heads run this site, but YOU AREN’T THINKING WITH YOUR DIPSTICKS! Actually, you are a bunch of dipsticks. As much as I don’t like Twilight, it’s for different reasons (like the storyline). Vampires are cool. But that doesn’t mean I would want to be one. You’re so retarded, that you can’t tell the difference between FICTION and REALITY. I really hope that this site is a spoof, because
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10:40 pm
Ok, I don’t know what kind of demon-possessed, retarded lobotomized crack-heads run this site, but YOU AREN’T THINKING WITH YOUR DIPSTICKS! Actually, you are a bunch of dipsticks. As much as I don’t like Twilight, it’s for different reasons (like the storyline). Vampires are cool. But that doesn’t mean I would want to be one. You’re so retarded that you can’t tell the difference between FICTION and REALITY. I really hope that this site is a spoof, because NO ONE could be this dumb. I’d call Adam Nelson a moron, but I wouldn’t want to insult the rest of the morons in the world. No wonder “Christians” have such bad images with idiot guys like you running around. You are probably some of the people who won’t say Monday ect. because the weekday names were named after Norse gods (Thursday=Thor’s day), and who think lent and Easter are evil. Oh, and I’ll bet that you think C.S. Lewis’s stuff is evil, because of the magic in it. I’D HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU, BUT IT’S ONLY PRETEND.
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6:34 pm
What kind of (insert insult here) would even have to think this is serious?
p.s. Get a life, I mean really
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8:35 pm
This is all a bunch of bull! Twilight is fine. It’s a Romeo and Juliet story. I GARUNTEE that if there werent any vampires in the series, then this person wouldn’t be going on and on about how ‘terrible’ and ‘perverted’ and ‘stupid’ the books are. Ugh! Ugh, ugh, ugh! People make me so mad sometimes.
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6:36 pm
With no satanic vampire cult there would still be those godless injuns and their shape shifting black magic
p.s. do I really need to point out this is not meant to be taken seriously
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9:23 pm
Frankly Mr. Nelson, if I believed in Hell, I’d rather go there than wherever it is you’re going to end up. Based on how you behave, I’m betting it isn’t heaven. Perhaps you should pick up and read this Bible of yours? I’ve read it cover to cover several times, and you’re not following it very well.
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8:42 pm
This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard! The whole article is inaccurate but one of the things that I noticed was that Edward and Bella WERE married when they had sex. I don’t feel like pointing out all of the other stupid things in the article.
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4:37 pm
come on people there is no such thing as vampires and theres not a dout that twilight is the best series on the earth
pluse no ones going to going around puting holes in peoples necks with there teeth and sucking there blood after twilight.
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7:27 am
Best troll ever…Atheist Eastern Europe? Eastern Europe is the most christian place ever! The fact that many of those countries were in the sovietic area of influence doesn’t mean that everyone there is an atheist! Devotion to christianity there is total!
And Dracula was a title, it meant “Knight of the Dragon”, a religious order of Knights that swore to protect Europe from Islam. In fact Vlad Tepes, lately known as The Impaler, kept the Muslims out of Europe for decades. He was a cunning warrior. Ruthless, but truly devoted to God. No gay agenda in his actions guys. And Dracula has nothing to do with Twilight. Totally different stories.
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8:15 am
Dracula was his actual surname. His father was Vlad Drac, and the Son Vlad Dracula (“ula” or “of the”). They were both sons of evil and his father was a member of the Order of the Dragon.
After Vlad III’s death, he was GIVEN the name Vlad Tepes (tepes = impaler). It should be noted that in addition to being impaled, several of his enemies also died with ‘suspicious’ bit marks and being impaled.
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2:48 am
hey, does anyone know the answer to question 4 on this quiz? im trying to get on edwards team and nothing i do works…
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6:23 pm
“A champion of policies such as abortion and gay-marriage, Vlad the Imapler’s (aka Count DRACULA) party affiliation was Democrat”
And the documented evidence of this would be where?
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9:33 am
Scared and Frightened from watching the Twilight Trailer?
Damn, I watched the 3 movies and did nothing but laugh because the piss poor acting.
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2:59 am
To show his sense of fashion Chinese Knockoff Handbags , the right for women in the position to what they do. Even with all the talk about equal opportunities and all that, there are many women who are unable to break through the glass ceiling. Therefore, allow Christian Louboutin shoes women everywhere to feel special. You feel the end result ensure immense that women wonderful.
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4:42 pm
ISIAIh 41 BRING forth your IDOLS did they PREACH to you see they can’t speak they can’t DO ANYTHING all they do is cause confusion. Jeremiah 10 they nil hier IDOL down like a scarecrow it can’t move cant speak can’t move must be carried these are nothing but the WORK of CON men.john 10 jesus christ sais his sheep hear his voice and another voice thy will not follow and if another person tries to preach to tem they WILL FLEE from him. jeremiah 5 the priests bear rule on thier own authority what will you do when your judged my word is not inside them. Now here is the kicker john 5 son of man voice goes back in time mathew 16 jesus christ claims to be th son of man.1 cor2 mind of CHRIST preached internally and john 16 sais the spirit of truth comes in the future. Ezekiel 13 lying prophets of ISRAEL my word is not inside them saying god sais god sais god sais wrote hoping mankind would CONFIRM thier WORDS. all of this is EASILY verifiable.
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11:03 pm
I see the movie has already filled your young heart with rage and bloodlust.
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9:45 pm
What im 11 years old and im a christtain and i have seen the movie and i dont know what u guys r talking about just cuz some kids do it doesnt mean
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12:17 pm
r u serious. i would b scared 2 death if i was u thinkng that way. do u even understand anything about God or the Bible. How dare u. U act like we r judging u 4 waching thise movie when u r judging r belief. What makes u soooo special? Honestly b4 u go ranting & raving about something that u r sooo clueless about thinking b4 u talk. And comig from a chiristian background, i’ll give u a saying that i heard alot. PRACTISE WHAT U PREACH.
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10:37 am
i hate you is obviously possessed by devils. This person needs Jesus.
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6:24 am
Well, I don’t approve of the language used, but point taken
And a little less if the ‘all you christians can go to hell’. Not all christians agree with this senseless point of view – I’m on your side mate! Twilight rocks
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11:20 pm
oh yes of course. you fucking people have me angry
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11:21 pm
i agree
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5:10 pm
So you’re telling me this movie has a teen girl marrying a grown vampire demon!?
This is even more outrageous. Oh, my…
I don’t even know what to say. We need to organize and have all these Twilight books burned. The movies too. This is simply an outrage.
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10:26 am
My review board finally got around to seeing this movie and yes, it’s evil. Also, marriage cannot take place between a woman and a demonic beast and be recognized. I know liberals would like to envision a world where anyone and everything can be married, but it just doesn’t work like that at all.
Marriage is holy by law and thus can only be recognized between a proper man and woman. Mystic creatures of the imagination do not fit the bill, so Bella was clearly does not have a recognized marriage and in this movie is fornicating with an evil spirit.
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6:14 pm
Are you fucking serious, Adam? Burn the books and the movies? What the hell? Ok, but your not getting the one’s I own.
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3:17 pm
DUDE YOU ARE MESSED UP yeah im a teen but seriously. i dont go on looking for vampire to marry! everyone knows they dont exist. its pretty much just a love story with some cool twists. I WOULD NEVER LET THIS ADAM NELSON TOUCH MY BOOKS! they are interesting. Stephenis meyer ment them to be entertaining and NOT religious. they keep you on the edge of your seat. You freaks just read books to look for problems in them and if you havent read the second book EDWARD TRIES TO SAVE HER SOUL BY LEAVING HER! And the Cullens are vegetarians so they dont kill people. and Carlisle never killed anyone and dedicated his life to saving people. he saved edwards life. And edward did NOT want her to be a vampire! it was her choice. he only turned her into one because she was going to die! And in the book they dont even explain the sex so its not even bad! Why does everyone decide to focus on Twilight when Vampires and Werewolve legends have been around for a long time?! You are a sick person trying to put twilight into religion!
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11:38 pm
My youth minister did a sermon series on the Twilight series as well in the month leading up to the movie’s premier (so we wouldn’t be swayed toward the darkness and damn our souls to hell by going to see it.) Did you know about 10 minutes into the movie, if you look very carefully, in the background there is a satanic sacraficial ritual that takes place? Also, the second book of the series “New Moon” if read backwards is an ancient chant that raises demonic armies from the pits of hell.
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11:16 pm
In defense of Christianity, these people aren’t real Christians. They just play really bad ones on the internet.
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11:21 pm
Frankly, I liked the first Twilight book, though I suspect it was only because it has vampires, since I hated the second, largely vampire-less book.
But yes, this series totally ruined the awesome factor of being a vampire (I’m not one, but they’ve always interested me). I wonder what happens when a Twilight fan meets a real (fake) vampire?
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12:22 pm
YOU’LL THINK ATHEISM WHEN THE RAPTURE COMES AND U GO TO HELL.
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2:25 pm
I see ‘I hate you” is already full of the movie… funny how people like him say its only a movie.. come here Ihateyou … want to try some rate poison?? its 99.9% good food ! ! !
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2:33 pm
sucking blood of animals doesnt make you a vegetarian.. and the fact that cullen didnt leave her speaks for itself. the movie is still trying to put a good face on evil.. still rat poison and the rats are eating it up….
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2:37 pm
I look forward to the time God cleanses the world and the scum (atheists) have to explain to God to His face why they didnt believe…. ((we already know its because they want to do what they want and live in thier own fantasy world))
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6:33 pm
The “rapture” is nothing but the satanic, delusional ramblings of a demented 16 year old Scottish girl about 150 years ago…
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2:40 pm
Never understood how some consider drinking animal blood as being vegetarian.
“You are a sick person trying to put twilight into religion!”-Courtney
No one is trying to put Twilight into religion, but religion IS in Twilight.
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2:45 pm
If everyone would actually research this site, it USED to be a satire site, but now, is actually owned by real Christians. Over-zealous ones, I might add. This is why we troll the site; to continue the satirical nature of the original intent of the site.
We do not forgive, we do not forget. We are legion, we are many. Man the fucking harpoons…We are Anonymous.
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2:46 pm
When I was young in the Lord, I use to think I could keep on watching my favorite shows with impunity…((i was a die hard sci-fi/fantasy fan and loved the horror movies)) as I grew in the Lord, I realized what it ment when David said in the Psalms that he ‘would set no wicked thing before his eyes’, so to me, not only is trying to make vampires appear good, evil, it is very deceptive (calling evil, good). You have to examine in yourself how close you want to stand to evil and still be close to God. HE is pure and will not tolerate a single speck of evil in His presense. what did it for me was a quote from Gene Rodenberry where he said he wrote sci-fi to show a world without God. That is NOT a world I want to live in. Do YOU??
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5:03 pm
I second, third and fourth that. Go Tom
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5:15 pm
You’re a backslider if you think there is anything good or Christian about Vlad the Impaler, vampires or Twilight. Please invite your church pastor and congregation to this community so they can see you praise demonic vampires and laugh at God.
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5:18 pm
Wearing a cross as an ornament does not make one a Christian, my friend. You have to wear your love for the Savior who died on that cross on your heart. If your heart had a cross on it, it would naturally chase the vampires away. Please, let the love of Christ fill your heart and renounce your love of Satan’s favorite back series, Twilight.
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5:24 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Dude, thank you!!! That’s the best laugh I’ve had in a longt time!! Muslims…give me a break! Cut your hair, buddy! Like the flag, though…
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5:53 pm
Question, how long has the devil been gay? Because if it’s been since he was expelled from heaven, plus angels are often protrayed as males, what does that suggest about God?
It is not gay devil porn. It is an excellent work of FICTION.
A childish, hypocritical comment now: Grow up.
What’s that quote? We most hate in others what we dispise in ourselves?
If you have such an issue with gay devil porn…?
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6:15 pm
I am not laughing at God–”The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” I am, however laughing at YOU, Mr. Nelson…watch:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
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7:50 pm
My Church knows all about Twilight too. And they’re not raising their pitchforks at any of us younger ones who happen to enjoy reading the books.
The only serious matter that i would have though, concerned the christian belief, is that they think about abortion during the time when Bella is going to have the Baby. But instead they go Pro-life, and granted, it is also Bella’s choice too.
I’m sorry but this whole fiasco is rediculous. Okay; Twilight maybe the first book for a while on vampires; and there are plenty of haters out there; who more impotantly HATE THE STORY LINE.
There is nothing, from my own CHRISTIAN point of view that would upset anyone unless they are just anti-fiction anyway.
I’ve been a christian for several years myself, and have only relitively recenty been proud enough to speak out that i go to church. So there is no use trying to disway me by saying i don’t announce christ in my heart.
I realise there are many different view points, as everyone is different in there own right, so i respect that you may find Twilight maybe influencial to people you find ‘demonic’ or he like. But i’m afraid, it seems you’re pretty insecure abot being christian, if you think that people will turn to the ‘demon’ so quickly, and through such a FICTIONAL source. it is simply a fictional book about a love story, designed for teens to read.
Guess what; it’s a hit sensation, and at the moment, i dont find the need, or any of my friends-some of whom are christian and a mixture of other religions too, to go drink tomato juice or hit it off with a vampire, who is obviouly demonic, in every single way.
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11:34 pm
First, Tom never said anything that closely resembled that there is anything “good or Christian about Vlad the Impaler or vampires”, so obviously YOU cannot claim that HE is “backsliding”. We’re not saying that Twilight will deepen your relationship with Christ, OR that it will change it. It’s a harmless book that was very well written to ENTERTAIN, for personal enjoyment. There is nothing evil and sinful that will come from reading it. I personally hate tomatoes so why would I start drinking it from watching Twilight?!
Secondly, who are you to judge me? That is God and God alone’s job so bugger off!
And thirdly, how can you tell me anything about the series if you haven’t read them for yourself to understand the appeal it has to a young teen girl and the struggles that we go through in life? You’re a guy, for crying out loud, you hate ‘sappy love stories’ so go drink some Tomato and have some fun with a vamp while you’re at it!
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6:24 pm
Mr. Nelson, go take your prozac, there’s a good boy…besides, I thought the Devil’s favourite series was “Harry Potter”?
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7:44 pm
Hahahahahahaha, you make me laugh!
Wearing it as an ornament? You know what I did to the last girl I saw wearing a cross as an ornament? No. You don’t. And you don’t wanna. And I think I’m more likely to go to hell for that than for reading.
Let’s see, drinking, drugs, promiscuity OR
Reading a series of FICTON?
Yeah, I can see which one is worse there…
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7:46 pm
Now I fifth, sixth and seventh that Unc! *hi fives*
You zealots are giving us a bad name…
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7:51 pm
oh and GO TOM!
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9:56 pm
Not every church can be perfect. How sad to think that a movie about a sparling vampire is going to cause so many millions of people to sparkle and glint in Satan’s eyes as he burns them in hell.
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7:58 pm
8th, 9th and 10th!
If we don’t stop getting such great points guys, I’m gonna run out of numbers!
Maybe I’d best get Satan to help me count from here-on out eh?
On another side note, have you seen some of the other articles on this thing? ‘Man tries to rape racoon, racoon bites off man’s penis’; ‘woman makes bad sandwich, man cuts her’.
We’re supposed to take this site seriously?
LOL
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8:02 pm
Agreed! No doubt about it. And, no strangley, I don’t suddenly feel the need to sparkle or suck blood, or even go to Hell for it eiher. Can you believe it!
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10:20 pm
SAy Mr. Nelson–what exactly is a “sparling” vampire?? Goodness, don’t y’all ahve spell check?
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11:25 pm
“ahve”?
Is this part of your blood-sucking vampire language?
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11:49 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I get it now–you’re a stand up comedian! Right, Mr. Nelson? OK, then this whole web site makes sense…
I was typing poorly so that you would feel more at home…”ahve” is merely “have” with the h and a transposed. Oops…is that too big of a word for you? There is no”blood sucking” language. But I do thank you for a most entertaining evening! I gave you lots of free publicity, too…several relatives of mine have read your ludicrous article, and responded to it. Thank you for the laughs!!! If you ever really want to debate, or come out of your fantasy world, you have my eamil address.
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11:53 pm
Thanks, sis. But frankly, I kinda like V-8…OH NO!!!!!! I must becoming a vampire!!!!
That reminds me, Mr. Nelson…could you please tell me what verse in the Bible mentions vampires? I must have missed class that day…I looked in my Strong’s Concordance, and couldn’t find it…
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2:24 am
If you ever want to debate, call into AFR. The address is in my name. I’d like for others to have a chance to laugh you and anyone else thinks a Christian can like Twilight right off the air. I see Jack was right in talking about how this movie brainwashes people, yeesh.
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6:36 am
It’s hard to type straight when you’re laughing so hard you have tears in your eyes.
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5:52 am
We’re going to hell for other things… Not reading
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6:10 am
Hey! After sleeping on it (and a dream in which the devil came to me in the form of Edward Cullen) I have seen the error of my ways! I would like to repent!
How many virgins should I sacrifice on my blood altar for penance?
And should I flog myself Once for every chapter of the book, or once for every word in the book?
If someone could clear this up for me, I’d be grateful. Sooner rather than later if possible, I have a ‘special’ meeting in a couple of hours, and if I’m late, the blood will be cold. I hate drinking cold blood.
God bless!
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6:20 am
Well, I’m 15, as are most of my friends who have seen it, plus my mother has watched, as have the rest of my family (yes we showed it to my 3 younger siblings, and none of them seem particuarlly corrupted by it), and I know many 20 and 30 year olds who have also watched it. Plus my uncle is a fan, along with his daughter, so… It’s not just 13 year old grls
And not everyone loves Edwuss – that’s a good one though, thanks! And also, most people are intelligent enough to realise that Edward’s NOT REAL. Never was, never will be.
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9:47 am
You’re telling me it’s hard to type, I’m trying not to make any spelling mistakes, in case it’s mistaken for evil demonic languages
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9:52 am
She’s possesed! We must cleanse her soul!
Hey Lex
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1:04 pm
Go Lex! I think we’re all nearly here now! Don’t worry…he said, “Yeesh” which must be demonic…Maybe it’s all that “demonic chanting” this moron claims is in the movie…personally, I loved the one about how New Moon read backwards “is an ancient chant that raises demonic armies from the pits of hell.” Oh boy–this is a comedy site!! It HAS to be!!! There’s no other explanation…NO ONE could be as stupid as the people running this site pretend to be!!!
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9:56 am
Did you see the one about the man raping a raccoon? They expect us to believe this shiz?
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12:59 pm
Yeah, and it also has adds for “Twilight” merchandise and casting! Man, this has GOT to be a joke! It’s too funny!!! Although, I might take Mr. Nelson up on his debate invitation…except he’s the one who’d be “laughed off the air”. Except, I think Mr. Nelson was speaking a demonic language–he said, “yeesh”…RUN!!! He’s been infected by demons!!!!
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1:31 pm
Christanity: The belief that a Jewish zombie will save your soul if you telepathically tell him you accept him as you saviour.
The Bible: A fantasy book written by someone with a penchant to over exagerate which people take seriously for no reason.
Twilight: A fantasy book written by someone with a penchant to over axagerate which people take seriously for no reason.
Oh dear.
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10:53 am
Heehee… That’s kinda funny…
Never thought about it that way…
So by that logic, Stephenie Meyer is God? Well that’s one in the hole for us who disagree with the satanic origins of Twilight…
Just for the record Mr. Nelson (and any other die-hard Christians reading this) I can think of at least 2 other series of books about vampires which are much worse than Twilight, which include vampires that can’t stand holy objects and pre-marital sex in bucket loads. So why don’t you chase after one of those instead of Twilight, which in the long run is pretty darn innocent
Go Twilight! <3
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10:55 am
I’m hoping you’re joking.
If not, and you actually believe that i hate you needs Jesus, then by that messed up logic, millions of teenagers the world over need Jesus, including me.
I like to think that I’ve found him, especially after what happened to me yesterday. I know he’s there watching over me and caring for me.
So your theory does not compute
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11:28 am
That’s because God is not a betrayer. Even when we may be full of sin, we can repent and he still shows us loving kindness. A good Christian is likely praying for you and that you’ll turn from your wicked ways of liking Twilight. Just don’t test God’s patience.
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12:13 pm
Mr. Nelson, I doubt anyone outside my family would pray for me, and as my family likes Twilight too, I doubt that anyone is praying for me to turn from my ways of liking Twilight.
Perhaps I should point you in the direction of books that are far more sinful? There is a series I know of that encourages pre-marital sex with a large number of men and discourages marrige.
It also involves vampires who burn up at the sight of holy objects.
I’d also like to point out that we are slowly winning this debate, as you seem to have no comeback to half our comments.
Satan has not come for me yet sir, but, cliched though it may be, God and Jesus have. You will not turn me from my beliefs by insisting that reading is sinful. Would you rather I was on the streets smoking, taking drugs and selling myself to older men, perverts, for sex so I have enough cash to get my next drug fix?
Because that’s what happens to people when you take away their hopes and their loves.
I love reading, I love writing. Twilight has brought me so much joy – I’ve made so many friends through this series of books, it’s unbelievable!
My hopes are based in Jesus, in God, in the joy that knowing him and loving him bring me.
Accuse me of doing the devils work, and are you any better than those who would strip my faith from me, who would have me on the streets as a prostitute?
I don’t want that for myself sir. I want to grow up an educated, honest Christian girl. I want to raise my future children in the light of God, but I don’t want to force them to believe something they are not comfortable with. You are trying to force people to believe that is in no way true. And that is no way to encourage people to accept God.
I don’t know why I’ve bothered with this – you won’t listen to me. But, as sinful and devil-touched as I am, I’d like to share something with you; comments my friends made on this:
Eh?! I know u r a christian + i hve bn known 2 go 2 church 2 hun but this is nt rite! How cn they b allowed 2 say this? They jst get an idea in their head + get fixated! Twilight is nt a bd thing it hs bought me much happiness!:-P
I know – it’s a load of rubbish. Without Twilight, I never would’ve met some of the fabulous people in my life! How can something that brings joy be evil?
Fabulous people like me! Hee hee!:-P i agree with u, twilight, edward + jasper cannot b evil, how dare they say so?! Will check out link tho hun x x
I cannot believe that site…it HAS to be a joke!!! it just HAS to be!!!
You rock
omc is that preacher guy takin the piss in that link, hes got to be, no one wud believe tomatoe juice wud turn u into a vampire… N then theres the fact that vampires are fictional creatures anyway. I am so annoyed, im totally writin him an email.
omc whatever is that all about?????
that made me laugh!
love the ending:
Beware, Beware!
i pity people who worry that much!
That is the best laugh I have had for ages!
Do you see what ridicule you are receiving? You are making all Christians look bad. I appreciate that everyone deserves their own opinion, but yours is so narrow minded, it’s entertaining.
Again, God bless.
P.S. Sorry for any spelling mistakes, but we don’t learn how to spell in SIN SCHOOL! LOL
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12:16 pm
*hifives*
And I KNOW this dude is faithful…
Go cuz
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4:26 pm
Umm… It’s not sci-fi, it’s romance/fantasy.
Also, the main character’s best human friend, Angela Weber’s father is a minister.
So
Yeah, I know that’s not gonna change anyone’s minds either. But still, it was worth a shot.
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1:37 am
amen
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6:47 pm
I’m just going straight to insults now. Practice this thing called spell check. also if you are in school take a typing class, english class and slap your elementary school spelling teacher. If you are not in school go back.
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