• Women Can Now Tinkle-tinkle While Standing Up! Gogirl Urination Science Device

    February 19, 2009 4:48 pm 30 comments

    The Item: GoGirl Female Urination Device for Travel and Active Women

    Feminists are rejoicing and liberal scientists doing backflips as a new device called the GoGirl has allowed the unimaginable: women can now go potty while standing straight up!

    “You won’t be like a man. You’ll just pee like one.” This crassly stated and offense to human nature is called the GoGirl and it flies right in the face of creation and natural order. Can any good come of such machinations of science? Let us review and find out.

    How Does it Work?

    This product’s use is pretty straight forward. Women just drop their drawers, hold the device against themselves and then let nature politely set upon their bodies. As described on the product page:

    “Just adjust your clothing, and hold GoGirl gently against your body to form a seal. Aim and urinate.”

    There is a link with a video or flash animation listed as well, but for fear of seeing something improper and scary I surely did not click upon it.

    This leaves the conclusion that this device can be used while a woman is standing! That’s not proper, as women were made to daintily sit while they quickly take care of their personal concerns whilst changing the canary’s water.

    Product Rating:

    Good Factor
    3.5 / 5

    This may shock and anger many of my contemporaries, but despite my opinionated offense at how this device ruins social niceities and natural order, it can actually be pretty useful.

    Truly, one of the most annoying things is to be at a dinner or concert when your wife, or girlfriend for some of you, goes ‘Sorry, hon, but I must take leave to powder my nose.’ Then they ask their friends Tiff, Beth, Jane and Jill to join them. “Hey, Tiff, come you want to come with!?”

    You know that below the context, they are all going to gossip a bit and let the inveterate processes bring relief to their bodies all the while.

    As you understand, women can somehow manage take a quarter hour or more when taking a proper leave in the lavatory, and that’s at home! It’s hard to imagine that such a natural function can take so long, but that’s the way it works. Now add to that being out in public and the queue outside a woman’s restroom is long, with them all taking a half hour to tend to unspeakable necessities, and you see the problem.

    This device will enable women to process through these unfortunate circumstances more quickly, which means less time standing around for men! Thus, that’s a very good thing. There will be less having to make small talk with your wife or girlfriend’s friends, and if you’re on vacation or camping, your wife now has a little proverbial security blanket.


    Bad Factor
    1 / 5

    I must confess that the fire of my heart was stoked and then set ablaze after a member first alerted us to this at the HolyMailbox (where you can always swing by to say hi to us, ask questions or comment). When our interns forwarded this email to me I actually first thought it was a prank of somesort, then upon looking through the site as mentioned, I was outraged!

    The first thing I thought was that this surely must be the works of feminists or those who like to mar the lines of between what is a lady and what is a man.

    After considering the mutual benefit to all, however, and having had my wife — both when we were courting and then in marriage — inconvenienced after not taking their precautions before leaving home, I can understand the use for such a contraption and may just buy one for her myself.


    Abomination
    1 / 5

    Dear friends, let’s have a frank discussion. As we know, things like feminism and those on the wrong side of Proposition 8 debate are the same who are causing the housing mortgage crisis, high divorce rates and America’s economic crash.

    They are bringing these things upon us because they are encouraging more and more people to violate natural order, that is, cause abominations to nature itself.

    Now, despite this product giving women another leg up on men so to speak –as the right to boldly use the restroom standing up is naturally ordered to men, by design– I think we should look at this device’s ability to give women the same ability to primly relax their innate regulations as a good thing.

    I think the creators of this product have the best interest of everyone at heart and did not set to plan an agenda to have this as an abomination to what’s right, but you can never be too trusting. So this gets a preemptively wrought score of one just in case some sinister, overlooked works are at bay here.


    Spreading Falsities
    1 / 5

    The makers of this device aren’t trying to create any fancy genetic monstrosities for women here, and that’s good. Had they used the immoral forms of genetic engineering and tried to craft a male extension for the female body, then herald it as an evolved form of freedom for today’s women, I would have to properly take offense.

    There’s nothing sinister like that here though, plus, European women are already using this and as I know first-hand from visiting my in-laws and travels, there are plenty of good and proper European women.

    Despite the teachings that I can guarantee several unscrupulous women groups will make about this device, you can’t let the twisted interpretations pervert the original intent of usage of said device or message for anything.

    That’s a life lesson I take to heart and one that should apply to this product. Still, you can never be too careful so this product earns a proper 1 here just in case.

    Final Product Rating: 3.5 – 1 – 1 – 1= .5

    P (Pretty good)

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    About The Author
    Jack Gould Pastor Jack "Jbox" Gould is a local best-selling author, motivational speaker and youth pastor extraordinaire at Langley CC, where his stories about the laid back California life and relations to Jack-in-the-Box bobble heads are all the rage. Email Jack a Question

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