God Nearly Smashes Earth With Giant Spacerock
God gave us another warning of his growing anger with infidelity, this time as a giant doomsday meteor nearly struck our planet.
The last time God smashed Earth with such a meteor was 1908, where communist Russians in Siberia were struck down with ‘the force of 1000 atomic bombs”.
Scientists on space.com were shocked and bewildered, because despite all their satellites and scanning equipment they didn’t see this asteroid until it crossed geosynchronous orbit with Earth. That is alarmingly close and God blinded our eyes to not see it coming until it would have been too late.
Historical archives show that the Siberian comet strike immediately flattened 80 million trees and had a blast radius of 800 miles. No one strike created by man can do such output damage, as it is equivalent of putting 1000 high-end atomic bombs into one.
By the best estimates of researches, had this stony judgment been allowed to strike Earth, the fallout would have been far worse and it could have instantly ended all life in any city on Earth.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Jack Gould
Pastor Jack "Jbox" Gould is a local best-selling author, motivational speaker and youth pastor extraordinaire at Langley CC, where his stories about the laid back California life and relations to Jack-in-the-Box bobble heads are all the rage. Email Jack a Question
2:57 am
Can we pray to get one aimed at San Fagcisco?
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9:19 am
I second praying for one of these to strike down the fagoteers in San Francisco.
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1:42 pm
HAHA you guys make me laugh so much! I love your satire take on christianity its brilliant!!!
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10:40 pm
I would love to watch a nuke go down on San Francisco…
Right after each gay individual in San Francisco gets a turn at plowing the bejesus out of Tyson Bowers holier-than-thou ass. Mmm hmmm thats good eatin’
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12:27 am
Some say comet will fall from the sky,
followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
Followed by fault lines and can I sit still?
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits..and
..Some say the end is near ..some say well see Armageddon soon.
..Certainly hope we will…I sure could use a vacation from this …stupid shit…stupid shit..I wanna see it go all down, wanna see it come crashing down..wanna watch go right down……
A little quote from my friend Manard James Kenean
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3:00 pm
MICHAEL BAY WAS RIGHT !!
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11:02 pm
wtf? i cant understand one thing, is this site for reals? Like, is it really Christian?
btw, Communist Russians in 1908 o_0
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7:23 am
I love this site more with every day. glorious. Or as we say in germany: “wahrlich redlich”
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1:14 pm
Christians make me laugh. Yeah God sent a rock to warn us. You idiots need to wake up and smell the truth. No god folks..no god.
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1:18 pm
Oh and this one:
Is It Ok For My Christian Daughter To Masturbate?
Yup..its great…masturbate alot..whenever you can.
IDIOTS!!!!!
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12:12 pm
About a week or so ago he threw a pretty big one at Jupiter; it may have been the rock we saw him grabbing in the picture NASA calls The Hand of God.
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6:15 pm
“About a week or so ago he threw a pretty big one at Jupiter”
And what did Jupiter do to piss him off?
Oh, and by the way, I heard he threw a pretty big one at Uranus, too.
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6:43 pm
But I thought rocks, space, doomsday, planets and everything in existence were a SIN!?!? SURELY GOD IS CONDEMNING HIMSELF TO HELL!!!!!!
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10:34 pm
God has more of these lined up for gays and Middle east.
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10:40 pm
And for Claire!
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11:17 pm
Ya know, there’s no real way to respond to you and still have dignity left. You’re just trolling too hard.
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11:46 pm
Ok, so its ok to make fun of Gay’s but not Claire? Guerrero?
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12:08 am
If you can come up with a valid explanation as to why Claire is a homophobe then I’ll accept it. Though, considering how she’s been defending homosexuality against a bunch of hypocrites for over two years on this site alone, you’re hard-pressed for proof, and before you say that ‘if everything on this site is the opposite’, then that applies to every single thing said, thus meaning that you’re playing a childish game of ‘opposite day’ and not understanding the concept of satire, and considering how homophobes couldn’t stand to care about homosexuals in the first place, the fact that she’s been defending them quite well with such fervor pretty much shoots down the idea that she’s a homophobe (since, ya know, logic would mean that she’d shoot herself first before saying anything nice about gay people, or even make the claim that some people she knows well are a married lesbian couple). And yes, if you are in fact gay as well, then this statement applies to you as well (in that she’s been defending you when you were being made fun of on this site).
You pretty much have two options. Either apologize, or lurk moar and change your tactics, subtle trolling helps ten fold. Saying your gay and you’d partner yourself with a homophobe who wants you dead and sent to hell to insult a heterosexual who considers herself an ally of gay people is just a bad move. The only other explanation is that whoever’s doing it is a homophobe themselves and trying to make gay people look bad by making it seem like they as a whole don’t want ‘straight allies’ or any nickname you could come up with. In essence, whoever’s doing it is nothing more than the same people on Christwire on the opposite side of the fence. However, considering how it’s more believable that conservative christians are hypocrites than gay people not wanting any support from straight people, it’s still difficult to pull that off. If you’re a homophobe, you might as well just say it, the tactics being used here are different, thus your tactics won’t work (and that’s a you that’s aimed at, once again, whoever starts spouting out shit).
That’s part of Trolling 101, if you want to continue to troll properly on this site, continue to act like an ass.
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2:04 am
So comedian, if you are correct, why worry about me, or are you Claire? There is so much more about this site you should be rallying againt.
We don’t need to defend ourselves against you. But she calls using a gay porn site name as a joke to make fun of someone else funny. She also called my friends “Mindless.” She then time and time again defaults to making fun of spelling and grammar when she can’t defend herself otherwise.
Also instead of even trying to apologize he said she was referring to blonde valley girls. Our youngest daughter is blonde. I fail to see how her targeting any group is kind.
She also tries to pull the ”I’ve been here longer” statement, just “click on my name” “I’m a member” shit. Well it appear the members have larger pictures on the left, hers is not, it appear members have working links, hers does not. Why would she pull this if she wasn’t trying to make fun of us.
Also its very old people saying I’m with you because I voted for.. or live next to… or marched in… We don’t need this. We need people to see that using gay porn as a prank is objectification If she wont see that than she is against us. .
You call me a troll. I am only trying to fight against the hate I have worked so hard to eliminate. I have been out for longer than she has been alive. At least she could do is say she’s sorry and recognize how a gay porn site could be offensive to us.
I do apologize to others on this site for my words. Some of this shit is pretty funny, some of its not so much, but it looks like there writers know that. If you google “Claire + christwire” and read through her work of posts, she ridicules all, but not with satire making fun of basic beliefs, charity, names etc.. I see a few others here do so too, but most of them seem up and up obvious jokings. Like who actually believes god is sending an asteroid to target gays or Claire? That is not offensive. Why not? Because its obvious that an asteroid targets indiscriminately, making it funny. But true ignorance is offensive
And the lil negative votes just ice the cake!
C Bernsen
Massachusetts
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3:45 am
“Though, considering how she’s been defending homosexuality against a bunch of hypocrites for over two years on this site alone, you’re hard-pressed for proof”
Actually my partner and I have looked over this site quite a bit tonight. And she doesn’t seem to be defending homosexuality at all. She looks like a professional obstructionist or naysayer. Her intent in context just seems like she tries discourse for her own personal satisfaction and gratitude. She even argues against people who appear to agree with her, just because they may have had a differing opinion about something unrelated to the topic at hand. This is very childlike and narcissistic. If you know her personally comedian, I will change my opinion, but if you only know her from these postings, please take a fresh unbiased look at her complete piece of work. If you cannot do so unbiased, please do what I have and ask a trusted one to do so for you.
Carl Palmer
Portland, OR
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12:35 pm
“Like who actually believes god is sending an asteroid to target gays or Claire? That is not offensive. Why not?”
I’m not sure if I completely agree with this. In the context of the authors its probably pretty funny, but from us maybe not so. I think we need to make sure that we go out of our way to make sure we don’t even seem like we would ever want harm to come to anyone. This girl, and she’s probably some 45 year old troll in his parents basement, really is just mean after seeing the list of clippings you tweeted. She obviously only delights in making fun of others for her personal gratitude, not because she is trying to make the world a different place.
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2:38 pm
I do see what you are saying. I would much rather live in a world with friends who I did not completely agree with than with people like Claire, who even if I agree with only takes pleasure in other peoples pain. She wants to be a “politically correct dictator”, instead of a slightly incorrect elected official.
keep the tweets a coming, they are hillarious.
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4:01 pm
//So comedian, if you are correct, why worry about me, or are you Claire? There is so much more about this site you should be rallying againt.//
Which I do. Problem is, I see the joke, and only one person here is legit, and considering the amount of jokers that have come here, it does me no good to continue the charade until the biggest bigot here posts something stupid. Check out any blog post made by “Stephenson Billings”, you’re bound to see at least a dozen posts to him by me.
//We don’t need to defend ourselves against you. But she calls using a gay porn site name as a joke to make fun of someone else funny.//
Again, it’s used as a form of ‘psychological warfare’. Imagine this: you’re a conservative Christian who takes this site seriously, and you agree with what real-Adam Nelson says, then you see another post made by “Adam Nelson” saying the exact opposite. Well, the way it looks like to you, the only difference is what they said, both their names are red and they have the same avatar. Well, now you’re thinking that the dude’s got a problem, and so you’ll leave.
//She also called my friends “Mindless.” She then time and time again defaults to making fun of spelling and grammar when she can’t defend herself otherwise.//
1. Her remark was towards brainless airheads that tend to make up the majority of anything with a female audience. 2. She’s a bit of a grammar nazi, but when half the time someone here tries to shoot down your arguments because of a misplaced comma, you tend to fight fire with fire, especially after dealing with these people for several years.
//Also instead of even trying to apologize he said she was referring to blonde valley girls. Our youngest daughter is blonde. I fail to see how her targeting any group is kind.//
You have a point, there about targeting any group, specifically stereotypes, and as for the apologize, I think both sides need to give one. Claire for the comments she made, and everyone who’s attacked her for misconstruing her words, insulting her, and saying things without any reason to back it up.
//She also tries to pull the ”I’ve been here longer” statement, just “click on my name” “I’m a member” shit. Well it appear the members have larger pictures on the left, hers is not, it appear members have working links, hers does not. Why would she pull this if she wasn’t trying to make fun of us.//
She’s telling you that she’s been here for years putting down the myths that have perpetuated on this site and to shoot down the false information that gets put up by the serious people here. Her profile should list all of the posts that she’s made proving that she isn’t a homophobe. As for the avatar picture, if you are seriously using that as ‘proof’, then you’ve pretty much lost the argument right there.
//Also its very old people saying I’m with you because I voted for.. or live next to… or marched in… We don’t need this. We need people to see that using gay porn as a prank is objectification If she wont see that than she is against us. .//
So simply because someone supports you because they honestly believe that you should not be shut down or harmed or whatever, it’s old and not working. You say the idea of using a gay porn site to cause confusion amongst the readers of this site who believe it to be serious is causing harm, yet you will attack a member who has believed in equality and wants to see the prejudice against homosexuals eliminated and say that she is against you.
//You call me a troll. I am only trying to fight against the hate I have worked so hard to eliminate. I have been out for longer than she has been alive. At least she could do is say she’s sorry and recognize how a gay porn site could be offensive to us.//
You may be trying to fight the hate, but when you attack an ally of yours who’s words are true, you only make yourself look bad. You make it seem as if gay people don’t want any allies if they aren’t gay period. You have no solid proof that she is in fact a homophobe and have made rather rude remarks about her as well. Granted all you have said was “if someone says that they don’t have a problem with homosexuals, they do”, the other comments left by people in the same boat are nothing more than attacks against her character.
Let’s go over your reasons as to why Claire is actually a homophobe:
1. She called the people who watch DWTS mindless —-She was talking about valley girl airheads.
2. She’s friends with someone here who links to a gay porn site—-Again, used as a tactic to confuse the real guy’s supporters.
3. She used the ‘I’ve been here longer’ retort—-Proof that if you look over the 2+ years she’s been here, you’ll see that she hasn’t supported the idea of ‘gay people are bad’ here.
4. Her avatar is smaller—–This one makes no damned sense.
No quotes from her saying that she hates gays, no screencaps of her saying anything negative about gays, nothing but farfetched ideas about her being a homophobe.
//If you google “Claire + christwire” and read through her work of posts, she ridicules all, but not with satire making fun of basic beliefs, charity, names etc.. I see a few others here do so too, but most of them seem up and up obvious jokings.//
People use strawmen to prove why they’re right. The people who made Christwire became strawmen, and Claire just keeps throwing punches at it. She doesn’t make fun of basic beliefs, she gets offended when those people with those beliefs think that they need to shove their way of life down other peoples throats, and her words basically amount to ‘this is what I will tell you if you are serious about this’.
//Like who actually believes god is sending an asteroid to target gays or Claire? That is not offensive. Why not? Because its obvious that an asteroid targets indiscriminately, making it funny. But true ignorance is offensive//
Who actually believes it? Crazy people who this site is aimed at making fun of and who would be on the receiving end of the comments made by a majority of people on here. True, the idea of an asteroid targeting a specific group of people is ludicrous, but the basic meaning is ‘God will kill this group of people’, which IS an idea that crazy people realistically think of.
//And the lil negative votes just ice the cake!//
If you keep pointing that out, you only make yourself look more childish.
@Carlson
//She even argues against people who appear to agree with her, just because they may have had a differing opinion about something unrelated to the topic at hand.//
I have a feeling you’re talking about the real Adam Nelson. He will occasionally post something that is meant to be ‘nice’ and ‘makes him look like a good guy’, yet it will be nothing more than fluff to garner any amount of praise. Ask yourself this, would you ally yourself with someone who, quite literally, says that women are worthless, yet will try to say later on that women are worth something and deny their previous statement, and even claim ‘out of context’ whenever it’s brought up again.
As for your comment about me knowing her personally, I must admit I do not. However, I’ve been here long enough to see that she’s sincere with her comments towards the ones who are serious here. She may not always fight for homosexuals whenever the subject is brought up, but that’s just one thing on the plate that the serious ones here will bring up. Among the others, there’s: new media is evil, liberals are evil, (insert ethnicity here) are evil (and do so for EVERY ethnicity, they seem hellbent on talking about each one individually instead of making one broad generalization), cats are evil, music is evil, actors are evil, masturbation is evil, America should be the only country left standing, America is way better than every other country, and more. Kinda hard to continuously stand up for gay people when the subject is about racism or politics. Most of what I said was also the blog post of some kind from the serious members here, in particular Stevie who’s up-and-left for quite some time now.
@DancingROX
//This girl, and she’s probably some 45 year old troll in his parents basement, really is just mean after seeing the list of clippings you tweeted.//
You said that right after you said this:
//I think we need to make sure that we go out of our way to make sure we don’t even seem like we would ever want harm to come to anyone.//
Not exactly a good way to come off to people, is it? You just made a derogatory and hurtful comment to someone right after saying you should go out of your way to not hurt someone.
With that, I bid you all adieu, and if you insist on insulting Claire just because she doesn’t like Dancing With The Stars and thought that only airheaded valley girls watch it and used that as your platform for why she’s a homophobe, I can only tell you that you’re digger yourself deeper into a hole that will make you look like an idiot. I leave you with a comment I regularly leave comments to people like Stevie: If you can’t prove your point with actual sources, and you are the one who is starting the whole thing, then why should anyone believe you.
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5:04 pm
I see, like Claire, you pick and choose only statements you can make an argument about; you don’t get into the meat.
For the picture size, that was not the point, she said she was a member with a clickable thing. It does appear that “members” have a picture on the left and they are slightly larger. Do you disagree with this statement? Also her link is not clickable.
Yes we could both meet halfway. Have you asked her too?
That “Stephenson Billings” you asked me to refer too. He appears to be the most up and up person on this site. If you come to this site you know what it’s about, his statements are blatant parody. He doesn’t even try to hide it. Claire however hides hate behind false political correctness
A small quick sampling of what people tweeted me
“Oh, and I fucking hate skateboarders.”
“Let me guess, you were unable to press the shift key because you hurt your pinky this morning while giving handjobs to quadriplegic veterans at the VA Medical Center?”
You’ve been here for what, a couple of weeks, Blanchy? I’ve been here since 2008.
“You’re the exception, because you’re a total asshole. And oh, how I wish I could kick you for real.”
“Simply more evidence that sports and alcohol, particularly a combination of the two, have no place in civilized society.”
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5:58 pm
//I see, like Claire, you pick and choose only statements you can make an argument about; you don’t get into the meat.//
If I tried to do an entire section, then what’s the point? Too many points would be overlooked and nothing would be achieved.
//For the picture size, that was not the point, she said she was a member with a clickable thing. It does appear that “members” have a picture on the left and they are slightly larger. Do you disagree with this statement? Also her link is not clickable.//
If that wasn’t the point, then why was it brought up? People who aren’t members can add an avatar themselves, while people who are members can add an avatar with ease as well as having a profile on the site. As for why her link is not ‘clickable’, the only thing I can assume is that you’ve clicked on her name and got this site’s 404, which all I can say is, the site sucks when it comes to profiles.
//Yes we could both meet halfway. Have you asked her too?//
No, but I’m sure if you asked her since you’re the one with an issue, then things could be worked out. If Claire doesn’t want to, well then, that’s on her and you tried.
//That “Stephenson Billings” you asked me to refer too. He appears to be the most up and up person on this site. If you come to this site you know what it’s about, his statements are blatant parody. He doesn’t even try to hide it. Claire however hides hate behind false political correctness//
Political correctness has nothing to do with anything. As for Stevie, he’s too extreme to be a parody. When you make a blog post on a satire site and you fight tooth and nail to prove that you’re right and have other sites that you go to that are unrelated to the satire site and proceed to do the exact same thing there, then you can’t be called a parody. There’s been so many times where someone’s posted a screencap of something that Stevie’s done on Facebook (alone) that pretty much confirms that he’s an idiot that wandered onto a satire site.
//A small quick sampling of what people tweeted me
“Oh, and I fucking hate skateboarders.”
“Let me guess, you were unable to press the shift key because you hurt your pinky this morning while giving handjobs to quadriplegic veterans at the VA Medical Center?”
You’ve been here for what, a couple of weeks, Blanchy? I’ve been here since 2008.
“You’re the exception, because you’re a total asshole. And oh, how I wish I could kick you for real.”
“Simply more evidence that sports and alcohol, particularly a combination of the two, have no place in civilized society.”//
Never said she was perfect. She can make bitchy comments, but then you have to ask yourself what the real issue here is. Is she a ‘secret homophobe who’s under the guise of satire’ or is she hurting the efforts of progress by making comments such as those? It’s like Perez Hilton; a supporter who does things that hinder other’s achievements. The thing is, you have to look at it on a whole, and Claire’s said a lot of other things in defense of whatever’s been attacked. You have to take EVERYTHING into account that she’s said. I’m not saying she’s perfect, but what I am saying is that she’s helped keep people who lie under check.
With that, I’m done with this subject. If you’ve got issues with her, talk to her directly, but be level-headed about it. Admit your faults on the situation and don’t go shouting or name calling; trying to act like you’ve done nothing wrong in the situation will not make things better.
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5:18 am
No.
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3:57 am
I HOPE YOU LIVE IN SAN FRANCISCO MOTHERFUCKER.
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1:32 pm
Why SF? Not everyone there is “evil” or gay. why would you want to punish the innocent?
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1:50 pm
You guys are fucking brilliant! This site is HILARIOUS!!!
Yours in the Holy Dripping Blood of Christ the Redeeming Wizard of the Lamb and Scepter,
Diddle
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2:00 pm
You guys are fucking BRILLIANT! This site is HILARIOUS!
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12:25 am
Yes, communist Russians in 1908. You don’t think they just magically popped up when Czar what’s his face was forced to flee and abandon his throne, do you? The commies are always lurking about, ready to seize power. There are even still communists in America, which is why we really need to get back to the McCarthyism. You can never be too safe.
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9:06 am
If its for reals or not, I don’t know, but I do know that what they present here is not representative of Christianity.
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10:33 am
troll’d
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1:05 pm
Whatever happened to “Love thy neighbor”?
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2:03 am
Safe from what?
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2:39 pm
why do you fucking want that anyway… and why are you asking someone else if you can do it?
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