• God Orders Bobcat To Bit Drunkard Barhoppers

    March 28, 2009 6:15 am 7 comments
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  • No good bootlegging bar hoppers are in agony tonight, as they are nursing wounds inflicted on them by a bobcat conducting the business of God.

    It started out as a typical weekend for the no good sucklers of Satan’s nectar. They went into a bar and fornicated like all drug addicted hookers, imbibing alcohol as an excuse for their perverse actions.

    Alcohol is a gateway drug that leads to disease, violence and death. Much like Eve’s apple of sin, God hates how this creation of Satan messes with the holiness of the mind. Every year you people who drink alcohol cause the death of 40,000 innocent Americans.

    Alcohol is a gateway drug that always leads to disease, violence and death and God will continue to rain down his wrath on those who drink it.

    So there is no surprise that as the spirits of Satan ran high through two men at this Arizona bar, a mysterious figure suddenly exploded through the bar’s double doors! It was the bobcat. It was on a mission from God.

    Watch how the drunks cower in corner, grouping up like primitive foreign tribal people out of fear and their panic. They try to use spears and the lights from their mobile telephones to scare the animal away, but the great cat did not leave until it mauled two men as God ordered it to do.

    Let this be a lesson to you drunk heathens. Every year your drinking kills 40,000 innocent Americans. You never know when God will send a great cat to eat you dead for your sins. You can only be safe by abstaining from alcohol and promoting prohibition in America was again.


    “Patrons of the Chaparral Bar in the central Arizona community of Cottonwood were attacked by a bobcat and two men were bitten by the animal after it wandered inside.”

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    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!

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