Morbidly Obese Spider Monkey
I am absolutely disgusted by this following example of evolutionist teaching gone wrong, as a morbidly obese spider monkey was discovered in the state of Tennessee.
As you know, an evolutionist believes man descended directly from monkeys. One day, monkeys just popped up with spawn that are human. This is immoral and sick and you should spit with contempt on such ideas.
Just think, 6000 years ago that Adam, or as they would put it our ‘common ancestor”, was fornicating with other humankeys to somehow magically give rise to your family? Doesn’t make sense, now does it?
There are people who subscribe to this weird evolutionary science and feel monkeys and man are all the same and meant to live hand in hand, together. The following video shows that these teachings reach deep into the good, typically astute people of Tennessee.
What offends me even more than the people who have taken this monkey, and tried to humanize him by naming him Clyde, have also fed this poor creature so much human food that it’s become obese. Monkeys are meant to be wild and eat bananas in their home country, not sit around in civilized neighborhoods in America whilst eating ho-hos.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Abe
If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack.
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2:03 pm
Just how exactly does a fat monkey prove that evolution is wrong? Do you even to know how evolution exactly works?
Pffft. Fire away with your ridiculous replies. I need a laugh.
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4:22 pm
You believe in a talking snake, among other things and yet you speak of ‘magic’.
Your knowledge of the theory of evolution is a failure.
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7:22 pm
Wow, the levels of filth and degradation that humans associate themselves with. Monkeys are filthy and disgusting animals, and any scientist that fantasizes about having sex with them should be shut away from our pure society!
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9:13 pm
Awww, that poor monkey. ):
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10:44 pm
No, humans did not descend from monkeys. Monkeys, apes, and humans all descended from a common ancestor that lived about six or seven million years ago. And humans *are* apes. Yes, you too.
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2:08 am
Most geologists agree the earth is around 4.55 to 4.6 billion years old, some of them round up and some round down I guess.
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5:00 am
There was life on Earth 6 million years ago.
Humans are not monkeys, they are humans. Subsiquently humans are a type of primate. As apes are a type of primate.
I agree that it is wrong that they have tried to feed the monkey food not fit for it. It is a type of animal distreatment.
I do not oppose your religion, and I believe that religious information and scientific facts can co-exist. Yes, you are can believe that we came from Adam, but you must know, Adam was a human. Humans are a type of animal species that fits into the category of “Primate”.
The first species of humans, which are not like us or Adam at all, came onto the Earth did look a bit like monkeys, but they had definate human characteristics. Adam was one of the first “modern humans” (the ones that can think like us and look like us). So the bible is correct, as he was the first type of human that we consider as human today.
Do you understand? There needs to be none of this hatred between believers and non-believers, I know some of them can be annoying, but sometimes you just have to accept that they feel that way and move on.
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5:01 am
I’m sorry I accidently posted that twice.
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4:13 pm
Penises.
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6:41 am
This was, by far, one of the funniest things I’ve read all day. I’m crying laughing. You might want to drop the christianism (christianosity?) and look into stand up. Hilarious.
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3:21 pm
Monkey’s eh? Dudette – they share like 98% of the same DNA as you humans! How can that not seem obvious that evolution occurred?
As for obese monkeys in general – who cares? Last time I checked (which is constantly), the US seems to have a lot of obese people. Are people not descendants from them?
Where’s my beer…
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12:28 pm
all of you uppity folk with your big words need to just take one big ole step back because you’re missing one important detail. white folks were not descended from monekys, but were in fact, bestowed a right to rule the earth by god hisself. that makes the white man a direct descendant and rightful heir to the throne fo god. conseqently, that makes all angels our bitches. so if yous a white person of honorable conservative and christian vlues, you can command the angels of heaven to do your bidding.
on the other hand, black folks and all peoples of color are in fact descended from monkeys. so the theory of evolution is only half right. i mean, you can pretty much see the resemblance right? peoples of color just be lookin like they from monekys whereas white folks look and act like theys descended from angels and other heavenly beings.
p.s. more pabst!
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3:57 pm
“…an evolutionist believes man descended directly from monkeys.”
I lol’d so hard there.
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6:56 pm
First of all, this monkey has nothing to do with evolution, you don’t even make sense relating him to evolution.
Second, if you are going to “spit with contempt” on something, at least know the proper workings of what your bodily fluids, which took millions of years to adapt to keep your mouth wet by the way, are landing on.
Lastly, and it is not due entirely to your website, I have had this idea for a while, but I am going to form my own set of beliefs. Not a religion, exactly, I’ve seen exactly how crazy those make people. It will be just something people can believe and think without forcing their beliefs on other people or limiting their lives. Can’t their be answers to questions without raising more questions?
I’ve already started.
Just you try and stop me.
-Catherine.
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2:13 am
Some of the ‘christian’ (?) beliefs here are just verrrry scary. There are some verrry scarrry Christian people in the world.
- Scientists are not Christian?
- Geologists are just part of the gay and atheist deglorification of god agenda ????
- ‘One day, monkeys just popped up with spawn that are human’
- Earth 6,000 years old?
…. I think the world is Flat too isnt it????
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11:36 am
LONG LIVE THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!! you are all wrong bitches, humans, animals and the world were all created by the flying spaghetti monster with him many noodley appendages. if we fail to all dress like pirates in the next 5 years we will be wiped out by global warming hahahahahaha
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1:22 am
That obese monkey is a welfare cheat! MONKEYS SHOULD NOT GET FOOD STAMPS TO BUY MALT LIQUOR!!11!!
THIS IS OBAMA’S DOING!!
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8:36 pm
If you think science is so wrong then you should be banned from all the modern day scientific discoveries. The biggest thing you should be banned from is medicine. So the next time one of you schmucks or your spawn get sick, don’t take medicine, it may make you brainwashed and love gays and colored people. You might even wanna take it in the balloon knot, make sure you shave beforehand. There’ll be less tugging from the friction.
You may wanna leave your state and see what civilization is like as well… I mean we all can’t go around having intercourse with our brothers and sisters forever
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11:21 pm
Wow, you need to read a book. There was not even life on Earth 6 million years ago. You’re a few zeros off.
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1:42 am
The fantasy novel commonly known as the Bible does NOT count as a valid history book. If you think it does, kill yourself.
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2:12 am
Ohh man that fucking emoticon it was just supposed to be a simple colon and a damn round bracket
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7:44 am
geologists are just part of the gay and atheist deglorification of god agenda. it is proven in the bible that earth is at the oldest 10,000 years and probably closer to 6,000 years old.
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2:13 am
DAMNIT!
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5:00 am
There was life on Earth 6 million years ago.
Humans are not monkeys, they are humans. Subsiquently humans are a type of primate. As apes are a type of primate.
I agree that it is wrong that they have tried to feed the monkey food not fit for it. It is a type of animal distreatment.
I do not oppose your religion, and I believe that religious information and scientific facts can co-exist. Yes, you are can believe that we came from Adam, but you must know, Adam was a human. Humans are a type of animal species that fits into the category of “Primate”.
The first species of humans, which are not like us or Adam at all, came onto the Earth did look a bit like monkeys, but they had definate human characteristics. Adam was one of the first “modern humans” (the ones that can think like us and look like us). So the bible is correct, as he was the first type of human that we consider as human today.
Do you understand? There needs to be none of this hatred between believers and non-believers, I know some of them can be annoying, but sometimes you just have to accept that they feel that way and move on.
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7:46 am
Exactly.
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6:57 pm
“it is proven in the bible that earth is at the oldest 10,000 years and probably closer to 6,000 years old.”
If you think that the bible “proves” anything, you are an incredibly sad, ignorant human being.
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6:36 pm
are you serious?
your picture is absolutely ridiculous. Also, could you be anymore insulting?? You act like you are so infinitely better than everyone else…grouping people into horrible categories. Like we’re marbles or something. Ignorant shit, grow up. You live in the world just like the rest of us. You are no better.
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1:48 pm
Anon is an insult to his name, and Adam is an idiot.
My daughter’s geology teacher happens to be a pastor at our local church, and she is NOT GAY. Try to prove me wrong, bastards.
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2:07 pm
[IMG]http://i44.tinypic.com/289lqaq.jpg[/IMG]
and
[IMG]http://i42.tinypic.com/sdz5si.jpg[/IMG]
better now, faggot?
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6:33 pm
You are completely right that guy. Anon is an insult. and I am thinking that Adam is an idiot, as well. It is indeed possible for beliefs and science to co-exist. People just need to chill the fuck out… and do some thinking.
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4:14 pm
Youre wasting your breath
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3:35 am
I call shenanigans. My preacher specifically said that evolution was the Devil’s creation. He is after all a Biblical scholar, who thinks quantum physics is a waste of time, and that scientists are all atheists (nope, not a single Christian), who eschews the children’s scientific minds from thinking, you know, scientifically, who directly influences children’s views of science, which has, you know, led to a nation undereducated in the field of science. Oh wait, America is no longer the leader in science. What happened? And now the foreign visiting scientists are leaving our nation’s universities in favor of better wealth in other countries. Benjamin Franklin would literally be crying, no matter how much of a real man he was.
This is absolutely embarrassing. America has lost its number 1 prestige. We’re a nation about war, we’re in debt thanks to the liberal minded antics, and more and more people are viewing the entire right as religious fanatics, while some of us actually care about science and the advancement and our evolution of the mind.
Science explains Mind and Body. We were made in the image of God. He is Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Science explains these characteristics of God, for they directly relate to our own trinity. I feel if religion would embrace science rather than ridicule its existence, we would understand Spirit and The Holy Ghost more closely.
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3:48 am
I see you mention the Holy Ghost many times. Are you sure you’re not one of them Pentecostals who believe a man can catch the Holy Ghost and then start dancing all wildly about, like a child infected with some bad heebee?
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6:08 am
Are you insane by any chance? Africans are human to! Same DNA that you have, means yyou called yourself a monkey.
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9:14 am
Okay that was a joke right? You’re obviously just making fun of the stereotypical devout christian white guy.
I guess it would be kind of cool to think that you’re able to call on angel to help you. Ha.
I agree with shrimpy. You should go into stand-up comedy. Although, you might get shot on stage. Whatever.
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