Watch South Park Episode 13×01 Online Now – Christian TV Review
Christian TV Review: South Park Episode 13×01 – The Ring
South Park began a new season in its typical fashion of debauchery, mockery and utter filth. In this episode, The Ring, South Park’s drug-toking writers took extra care to disrespect moral Christians worldwide.
This episode had to do with the Promise Ring, which apparently a boy band named the Jonas Brothers, a singing product of the magical-homo supporting Disney Company, wears at their concerts.
Behind the rampant cussing, sexual innuendo and violence that has no place in the life of elementary school children, this episode’s point was that the Jonas Brothers are somehow using promise rings to distract from the fact that they and Disney are marketing sex to adolescent girls.
As you know, lust is not something that naturally fills a teen’s heart. It has to be implanted and festered, which Satanic music (e.g., urban black rap, heavy metal, techno and so on) is known to do.
Without surprise this episode misrepresented the facts, by mocking youth who choose to symbolize their pride in abstinence and implying promise rings somehow make our kids act like elderly, middle-aged people. This is not true. Take a look at your local church youth group or sports club; the majority of those teens are abstinent and live normal, healthy teenage lives.
So in their attack on Disney, South Park’s writers just could not refuse attacking morality and America by attacking Christianity as well. They essentially called us righteous parents ‘dumb’ and being fooled by Disney, as if we are strangers to Disney’s secular antics and need to be boycotted time and time again.
While this episode did present true facts like the bacterial danger of female mouth, which proves why kids sneaking off to kiss behind closed doors dangerous, and a boy died at the end from an unholy disease from pre marital tomfoolery, it was just rife with sin and muck
There were many impious references to children doing unholy canoodling of each others tiddlywinks, and as such this episode is simply disgusting and unacceptable.
Parents, you must not let your kids watch this filth, as this creation by Matt Parker and Trey Stone is another cartoon that will lead your precious children into a life of drugs, whoredom and death.
Warning: The following video is highly offensive. Before reviewing for your parenting group/church, please insure your wife and kids are out of the room and pray up your strength in the Lord too.
Moral Rating:
-4/5 – D (Depraved) for
Cussing, violence, blasphemy, premarital relations, magic, anthropomorphizing animal without explanation, STD by name on children’s show
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Dan Nordgren
Born and raised in upstate New York, Dan Nordgren is currently a film student who enjoys martial arts, mountain climbing and football as components of his very active life. Join Team Sarah TODAY
12:58 pm
Well done, sir. Your fine review deserves our prize of 2000% internets. Use them wisely and for great justice.
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2:09 pm
i agree. i can’t believe the filth that passes for comedy these days. these hacks that write for this show incessantly take shots at the religious, the right, the left, the centrists, the scientologists, the hollywood elite, sports figures, entertainment figures, zealots, parents, america, canada, and the entire world’s leaders. it seems that the writers are the only ones free of criticism. it is good that someone finally had the guts to stand up to these immoral and horrible people! thank you christwire!
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3:29 pm
WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! South Park Rocks! And they’ve done it again, ridiculed every possible group. We need more shows like that in the Future!
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5:21 pm
I like how you dicks don’t say anything about how they ridicule the mentally handicapped of course I am refering to the Jonas Brothers, but nothing about how they make fun of the poor. You guys a just upset because you can’t get a BJ in the parking lot of TGIFridays.
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3:00 pm
There is some truth to the episode, While I’m not a devout christian, I still believe in the existence in god an jesus. But a lot of my aunts and uncles are extremely naive to see what goes on under there noses.
A teen doesn’t need Rock, rap, or Techo(seriously what the hell most techno has no lyrics about love or lust)to think about sex. It just happens.
But I digress, Parents do what they think is right yet they either fail to read between the lines or just plain ignorant and think their kids are more delicate than a rose petal.
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5:23 pm
Also don’t you realize that most of your sponsors are products for GAY DATING? I’ve seen more man on man action here then I did last summer in New Orleans.
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6:59 am
Christians are the weak followers of satan. They do not embrace the true spirit of God. Science is the light in the darkness and true direction to heaven. Christians are spiraling into hell and bring the planet with them. Soon hell will be on earth. May the real and true God have mercy on all of the weak misguide satan worshipers.
Your hearts are filled with lies.
Your churches are filled with greed.
You choose darkness over intelligence.
YOU ARE THE SINNERS!
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9:32 pm
Ummm its Trey Parker and Matt Stone. At least get their names right before you judge them…
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1:56 pm
Hey how about this for “Food of Thought”? There are worst things out there that can corrupt children than cartoons!!!
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2:19 pm
“this creation by Matt Parker and Trey Stone is another cartoon that will lead your precious children into a life of drugs, whoredom and death.” seriously? because kids are mindless robots.
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12:38 pm
Is this man a joke? You can’t possibly be serious. You, sir, are an idiot of the highest caliber and represent everything wrong with the world today. You could learn a thing or two from South Park, you jackass.
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3:41 am
This Dan Nordgren guy is an idiot. At least get TREY PARKER and MATT STONE’s names right. “Canoodling of each other’s tiddlywinks”? To me that sounds worse and creepier than anything in South Park! This article was a joke.
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8:56 am
This website is hilarious
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3:57 pm
Dear Dan.
Spoken as a Christian who watches this show, I can totally tell you have no sense of humor or logic. You’re just another Christian who lacks the wit to see that this show is satire, and its ‘satanic filth’ is part of the comedy. Grow up, and stop acting like Satan is out to get children through music you find too loud, or movies that don’t fit your taste. Seriously. The overdramatic holier-than-thou is getting stale.
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7:10 pm
“STD by name on children’s show”
South Park is not a children’s show. The fact its not on Cartoon Network at 4pm must be a bit of a clue. It also has warning at the start.
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4:43 pm
I’m going to come by this site more often. There’s no better comedy than what you can find in real life. The fact that there are people this stupid is both funny and somewhat scary.
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5:39 pm
As a christan I have to say i like the show sure the made fun christans but they also make fun of jews, muslims, islams and all other religon and even atheisits both of them belive in God and I think one of them I think Trey Parker is a christan I know one of the writers are catholic face it its just a tv show just like when
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5:14 am
Satire eh?
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1:15 am
Wow, this website is hellarious.
Ever think that it may mislead people? Or was that part of the humour?
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5:48 pm
I think Dan Nordgren is a cool guy. He spews mindless dogmatic bullshit and eh isn’t afraid of anyone.
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6:38 pm
I listened to black rap and now Satan’s telling me to put my tiddlywink in filthy female mouths, someone please help me I don’t know what to do!!!!
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12:13 pm
I like how you write off entire genres as ‘Satanic music’ – while it’s true that some elements may be regarded as Satanistic it is such a broad, sweeping and unfounded statement (please prove me wrong – with facts and research) there’s as much truth in an entire genre of music being Satanistic as: all Christians make stupid generalisations.
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6:41 pm
All you who think this website is hilarious… i totally agree!
The people on this site are fucking funny.
I found it by mistake while looking for south park online and I am so glad i did. The comedy of these people is priceless.
Have you seen the main home page? What it says about evil liberals is so funny.
Its filled with shit like ‘if this page will not load, pray for an hour then try pressing refresh’. It actually says that! Its SO funny.
Check out Dan Nordgren’s review of the Somalian pitates episode (Fatbeard)
Its fucking brilliant.
Look out for the bit where he says everyone in Africa lives in huts and there are no industrialized cities there. Clearly this guy has no clue about anything.
Dan Nordgren is a dick.
The Bible-bashers on this site are idiots.
The whole thing is a hilarious joke. I love it.
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9:39 pm
I never realised it was a fake site
I’m really sad
Its not funny anymore
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7:40 pm
This is all ridiculous. I cant beleive the ignorance of some of you. Just becuase a show has bad things does not mean a childs life will be turned into a “into a life of drugs, whoredom and death.”
I find South Park hilarious. To me it is the most funny show out there and pushes the limits of what is “right” or “acceptable”.
While i watch South Park reguraly, i have never felt a desire to drink..smoke…party..have sex.. or anything like that.
South Park as a show does not not turn people into bad people. It is one of the most uncensored things in America, and therefore gives people knowledge of bad things. Most kids the age of its audience wouldn’t know alot of the suggestive things in the show without it. But that doesnt make it the shows fault. I manage to watch it and be just fine in life, succesfull in education, sports, morally, and spiritually. Parents it is an INDIVIDUAL question of the background in your childs life, their upbringing, and your trust in them whether or not they should be able to watch the show.
Also, be more understanding of peoples “failures” (unchristian things), becuase no one is perfect, and no one is free of temptation.
Also, be a little less conservitive, times change. Your insult to me, (saying that heavy metal is satanic) is ignorant. I listen to heavy metal (along with Taylor Swift.. and Casting Crowns.. and many other bands), and it is not in any gaurenteed satanic. The Devil Wears Prada;Haste the Day; August Burns Red;Settle the Sky;Inhale Exhale, all are screamo, heavy metal bands that sing about god. I’ve seen three of those bands live, and each of them prayed after their concerts, and talked about god. Each of those are big bands, not local bands. They are known around the world. Being a fan of Christian screamo i was most offended by the ignorance. The Bible says to worship, not to worship with music that is light on the ears..
People have choices, about everything. It is up to them to make them, and live with the consequences. GUIDE your loved ones, but don’t ever keep things from them so that they don’t have the option to make bad choices. That leads to ignorance. And ignorance ruins the world.
love everyone!
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11:01 pm
Dude this is too funny. waaaay funnier than south park. this whole site is hilarious. Dan, u can’t possibly exist. can’t wait to read this weeks review
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11:07 pm
Dude this is too funny. waaaay funnier than south park. this whole site is hilarious. Dan, u can’t possibly exist if u do u need to chill out and have yourself a bowl. can’t wait to read this weeks review.
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3:57 pm
Wow… so you agree that the female mouth is filthy, but you don’t mention that a MANS mouth is just as filthy. Also this is not a wholesome Christian review, this is hate, but on a much more subtle level. You got both the writers names wrong and you made an anti-gay comment. You want to spread hate, this is a good way to do it. I was born and raised a christian my whole life and I watched South Park, listed to rock music and dyed my hair green, but you know what? I went to church, helped out my family whenever they asked, taught Sunday School & was Secretary of our youth group for 4 years. I never took what I saw on that show and repeated it or behaved in a negative way because of it. It’s just television and that’s what my mother taught me.
You sir sound like a dark hearted human being.
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4:16 pm
“As you know, lust is not something that naturally fills a teen’s heart. It has to be implanted and festered, which Satanic music (e.g., urban black rap, heavy metal, techno and so on) is known to do.”
Bull. Complete and utter bull.
A.) Lust and sex have been around a lot longer than those music styles. So that, is obviously false.
B.) Lust/sexual needs are NATURAL. It’s the basic biological need to reproduce that drives sex onward. Admittedly, when you’re hearing about it, or seeing it, you are a lot more likely to think about it. But since when is thinking a bad thing? I think South Park puts a great message for kids- and people alike on the table, actually. Freaking think for yourself, rather than letting some other idiot brainwash you or manipulate you.
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2:52 pm
If it doesn’t appeal to your sense of humor, THEN DON’T WATCH THE DAMN THING.
Oh wait. These Christians don’t even have a sense of humor. Yet they write these ridiculously troll-worthy articles. Bravo, good sirs. You have made Anons the world over rage.
As for you, anon, CHANGE YOUR NAME UNLESS YOU ARE FROM 4CHAN. YOU DON’T DERSEVE IT UNLESS YOU’RE FROM THERE.
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4:00 pm
rules 1 and 2. and then rule 34 on yourself.
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4:24 pm
That Guy & anon – what’s this 4CHAN you speak of? I hope these “rules” 1,2, and 34 don’t conflict with GOD’S RULES given to us by Moses. You should PRAY on the TEN COMMANDMENTS before following any “rules” other than GOD’s. I pray that these are not SATAN’s rules.
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4:41 pm
Rules of the internet. Learn them.
Also, Jack is a troll.
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3:43 pm
im 14 and i watch south park all the time and nothing is wrong with me and dont call kids mindless robots okay your all just being hypcrites be cause u all curse sin and descrimante on other cultures look at wat it said in the review “urban BLACK music” there r a lot of rappers that arnt black in fact a can nam a lot of them to and its not satinic eiher i jus cant stand u guys u make me sick ugh i think im gonna puke.AND its better that kids learn stuff like that early anyway so they dont wind up confused about something or wind up like racist self-rightous idots like u all
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12:33 pm
i dont think you quite understand how unholy and sinful your watching and promoting of this disgusting filth is. go and take and a shower and pray that god can clense you of your dirt infested mind
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8:05 pm
SOUTH PARK FUCKING RULES
I hate all these fucking hardcore Christians freaking the hellll out about south park.
If you don’t like it, then forget about it.
I am sick of this Christian bullshit
I’m fourteen, and I can’t stand these people
I smoke weed
I smoke salvia
I do acid
I do shrooms
I think real life is worse for your kids than a (hilarious) show.
You should be more worried about what your kids are doing to escape the fucking christian reality their living in. Now have fun at church
Love,
God
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8:50 am
Learn how to spell cleanse and then that guy will take a shower. Have any of you mindless simpletons noticed what it says on Anon’s avatar? Anon is just goofing on this site. Isn’t it slander to call the South Park writers drug users? Turn off the show if you don’t like it. As for the question from “most delivered” Yes…it is OK for your Christian daughter to masturbate.
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8:54 am
They actually do get bj’s in lots of parking lots. They just can’t tell everyone like we can. Hahahaha!
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8:57 am
Can I get an AMEN for that?
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12:11 pm
God’s 14?
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