3 No Good African Somalian Pirates Killed for Kidnapping American
Last week the world came to a standstill after an American seaman was abducted by 4 African Somalian pirates.
The event propagated a dramatic high-seas showdown, where the Somali pirates and international law faced off against the US navy. This was all brought to an end when the US captain, who was held captive on a lifeboat, was rescued by naval forces who killed 3 of 4 of his Somalian captors.
Somalia is a country in Africa that regularly begs the US for food and aide. The US always helps and gives the country sizable charity, and this is the thanks we received in return.
The US Navy exercised restraint and tried to end the situation diplomatically, but unfortunately our Somalian wards did not take heed. The following statement was issued by US Naval Forces Central Command on today, day 5, of the standoff:
“At approximately 7:19 pm (1619 GMT) US naval forces rescued Capt. Richard Phillips, the master of Motor Vessel Maersk-Alabama.”
All throughout the crisis, President B. Hussein Obama was very quiet. One must wonder why he didn’t order the full might of the US to descend down upon Africa for this blatant declaration of war? One must wonder, hmmm, where is Obama’s father from again?
When asked for a comment after the US Navy’s heroic rescue and resolution to this situation, Obama said he was ‘very pleased’ with the outcome and that the captain’s safety was “our principal concern, and I know this is a welcome relief to his family and crew.”
And indeed, considering the events Phillips’ family was very elated with today’s Easter miracle news of his release.
The crisis started when the American cargo ship Maersk Alabama was in the process bringing food to the African countries of Kenya, Uganda and our war-thirsty friends in Somalia.
The 20 Americans aboard the ship were proudly bringing over 8,000 tons of food to Africa, so people wouldn’t starve. Instead of being welcomed with open arms, they were attacked by African Navy pirates.
Though the unarmed Americans were able to fend the African Somalian pirates of their humanitarian boat, the pirates managed to to capture the heroic Phillips as they escaped on a lifeboat.
For five days, Phillips remained on the lifeboat as the Somalian soldier pirates demanded $2 million proper dollars for his safe return. Phillips jumped off the boat on the second day to escape, but the Somalian Naval pirates managed to recapture him.
Despite all this, it’s good to have an Easter miracle with this fine hero being returned home to America and these Somalians not having a chance to let their darkness ruin a great Easter holiday.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud

6:05 pm
tl;dr, not relevant to my interests, etc.
This thread is now about me.
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6:11 pm
….I`m hungry~…
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6:18 pm
Hello~ Do you have any food?
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6:23 pm
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6:25 pm
Did eye miss my (9) get?
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6:30 pm
This thread needs more maids.
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6:32 pm
THIS THREAD BELONGS TO ME NOW.
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6:36 pm
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6:36 pm
Hm~? What`s going on here?
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6:39 pm
Rika-Chama~
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6:44 pm
Auuuu…auu…
R-Rika….
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6:49 pm
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6:57 pm
FGSFDS.
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6:59 pm
*cackle* *cackle*
I believe you all are forgetting someone..~
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7:00 pm
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7:07 pm
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9:03 am
I am the King of Somalia
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8:52 pm
You guys make me smile(Not you Abe you make me sad) KEEP POSTING ANIME!!!
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6:14 pm
W-what oAo… There’s another one of me?
…
But Yuyuko2 does have a point… I’m hungry too
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6:18 pm
It’s 200(9), so this topic is about me.
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6:21 pm
Hello, Cirno!
Have any food~?
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6:23 pm
But I’M the strongest!
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6:21 pm
I was hoping you had food D:
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6:22 pm
…Did you eat my picture D:
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6:24 pm
Hello, Yuyuko2~ Why’d you steal my… our…. Yuyuko’s gardener’s clothes oAo
Also, Cirno I hope you have food
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6:33 pm
lion: *steals Sakuya’s pads*
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6:34 pm
Flandre~ Get back in your nice basement
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6:37 pm
How about no~?
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6:41 pm
How about YES~
Or I’ll force you to watch the 4Kids version of the American National Anthem
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6:42 pm
YOU. QUIET. I DIDN’T HAVE MY CANDY FOR BREAKFAST.
REESE’S PIECES. FOR BREAKFAST.
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6:45 pm
How about a nice helping of Extra Stage hardness?
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6:47 pm
I NEEEEEEEEED MY REESE’S PIECES.
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6:47 pm
I see what you did thar Rika-chan~
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6:52 pm
I think it’s time for Rika-chan’s medicine~
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6:54 pm
SURPRISE!
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6:56 pm
OAO
…WAT.
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6:57 pm
MEDICINE…?
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11:14 pm
Typical Asian male behavior.
And as for the woman, they’re all just a bunch of whores as can be seen from these pictures…it’s so sad being asian…
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