• God Is Punishing Us For Same Sex Marriage, Swine Flu Wrath

    April 30, 2009 7:27 am 34 comments

    My fellow saints and new friends, the world is in peril. These are truly cruel days, and evil hours. The good Lord knows the heart of man is falling away from righteousness, and is giving us ample warning to change our ways.

    But alas, politicians are working like never before to spread the homogay agenda. As the World Health Organization raised the Swine Flu threat level to five, Senators in New Hampshire approved same sex marriage.

    It is said a flu pandemic is imminent and thousands of people may die by this new swine flu of Mexican nature. I’m here to tell you today, my good people, we must surrender to the will of God.

    He has allowed a new sickness to fall upon mankind. Years ago same sex marriage was secretly allowed in Europe, several times. And each time a great plague fell upon the people until they straightened their bent homo ways.

    In Ancient Egypt, men used to wear eye makeups and stroke ungodly cats, all while giving home molester stares to each other. God brought plague to their kingdom. The men of the great Roman Empire began to take impieties with one another in bath houses. They were soon after crushed by barbarians, only armed with unkempt beards and sticks.

    The gays are now causing the fall of our Great Society. The economic recession, health care crisis, dependence on foreign oil and now the swine flu is because we’re allowing gay’s marriage.

    These people are not natural and normal, but are making a choice to disobey God’s design. They enjoy taking their lifestem and using it to plug up another man’s sinful waste tubes.

    My friends, gay sin is like a skunk to the nostrils of God. When a man has a skunk’s spray upon him, he is forced to sit in a bath of tomatoes.

    Make no mistake that God has already prepared such a bath and filled it with the boiling red juices of Fire and Brimstone.

    One day it is swine flu, the next it is eternal burning in Hell. We must petition our Congressional Leaders to overturn gay marriage, or God will throw a tantrum so fierce that every person — even your innocent children who aren’t sinchilds — on Earth will be coughing up lungs and seizing in cold sweats before His might.

    There is no place to run and no place to hide. You cannot run from God, as you will not get very far. He has let his wrath take the turn of a microbe once more, so that no man can avoid it.

    Covering your face will not work and inoculations will only come too late, as God will just keep causing substitutions in nucleotide base pairs of the virus’ RNA or DNA, mutating their external protein and sugarcoats to deadly new forms.

    Let us not test God’s wrath. Sure, the swine flu is bad but what if he allows Ebola or HIV to become an airborne threat?

    I think we all know the answer to that rhetorical question, so let us stay healthy this Spring and ban gay marriage. The alternative is a slow, painful death by AIDS flu for everyone.

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    About The Author
    Pat Heinkel Pat Heinkel is the senior church organist for Shellington Pres., where he also proudly serves as a volunteer firefighter, distinguished lecturer and has the town's (maybe region!) largest collection of Coleoptera. Email Pat

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