• Silly Chinese Commies Try To Rebuild Noah’s Arc

    April 15, 2009 11:51 pm 30 comments

    Hong Kong, China Fear and panic has struck the heart of the Godless Chinese today, making their little eyes open wide in terror as they realize their fate is judgment and damnation.

    Time and time again we have warned the Chinese to stop sinning, but they wouldn’t listen. Now they know God’s wrath is nigh and it’s sad to watch them scurrying to read the Bible and trying figure out how to avoid it.

    It’s a truly harrowing story. China’s first major modern offense to God occurred during the 1930s, when their Chinese leaders aided Adolf Hitler in building up an atheistic Germany, so they could take over the Earth.

    America forgave China for their sins and saved them after Hitler naturally betrayed them, all only to have unappreciative Asians betray our trust and strike hellfire down upon our port of peace in Pearl Harbor.

    We asked God to forgive them for they knew not what they did, and they prospered. We peacefully ended the war with them, sans much bloodshed, and taught them how to make a proper life and embraced them as brothers. Still, they did not learn their lesson.

    Like a shark, they had a taste of blood and not even Ares of myth could have made someone’s palate crave so much death, destruction and mayhem.

    China has built up quite an unGodly track record in the last 50 years; Korean War, Vietnam, stealing nuclear secrets, false gods, anime (pornography), cheating in Olympics, homogay lifestyles, aborting female babies, puppy slaughter/eating, stealing Hong Kong from Britain, communist atheism, Tinman Square Massacre, pollution, stealing American jobs, nuclear weapons and most recently, robotic terrors.

    It’s just too much. These people have been given chance after chance to convert their national religion to Christianity, so they fix their junked up lives, but they refused. They loved being little Thai hookers for Satan.

    Now, maybe too late, they realize that God is coming. How? Maybe it was our missionary work. Maybe they saw the Hand of God in space, with one of their telescopes. Maybe God whispered to some of them from heaven, ‘Stop being no good Godless commies, I’m coming.’

    There are many possibilities, and for their sake I pray God tarries and not smite these evil people. Their are still some whose hearts can learn to not hate and they truly fear our American God of wonder.

    Even as you read this column, three little Hong Kong brothers — the Kwok brothers — are frantically using their meager positions to try to rebuild Noah’s ark. They were obviously given a translated Bible by a kindly missionary, and understand that God is soon going to judge China for being no good sinners.

    What these poor Chinese don’t understand is that God will never again drown an entire country with a complete flood of water. He gave us rainbows to remind us of that promise, right after he flooded Earth the first time for having too many gays and atheists.

    These Chinese Kwok brothers are working hard, however, gathering two of every Chinese animal (some imported) and putting them on their communist arc.

    What a shame these little hard-working men don’t understand God’s next flood will be fire, and their wooden boat will keep burning until it sinks right down into hell, where even all the oceans on Earth would dry up in a second.

    We can only hope and pray God sees this pitiful site and will postpone his wrath, and give the Chinese a chance to accept to live their lives properly.

    Chinese Commies Try to Build A Noah's Arc

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