Dear friends, there are dozens of Mexicans sneaking into your city right now and each one of them may be carrying the dirty swine flu! For the sake of humanity, drastic measures must be taken. We must come up with a final solution to the Mexican problem, for our children and future generations.
I am completely mortified by dirty Mexican germ people, but I’m not racist. I just want what’s best for all humanity and so should you.
The World Health Organization just released a new statement. A global swine flu pandemic is imminent. Much like the Bubonic plague ravaged an atheist Europe years ago, with parents watching their young children die by bleeding from their eyes and vomiting out their lungs, the Mexican H1N1 virus is a respiratory infection that will kill your children dead!
The virus will attack anyone and has already spread through 4 continents worldwide, leaving a in its wake a swath of death and destruction!
Even if you take precaution and wear a mask, you never know if the glossy-eyed Mexican selling roses on the corner or cutting your grass may run up and bite you for no reason!
Once a Mexican bites you, or coughs on you, you are infected. You will feel your body turning cold and with chills as all your humanity leaves you, then you’ll burn with rage and bloodlust as the Mexican germ spirits take you over.
The disorientation will lead you to cough on others, even the ones you love, spreading this new plague to all humanity and turning us into foul-smelling creatures beyond recognition.
Good friends, my heart is gripped with fear and I do not want to wake up tomorrow, to see everyone with red eyes, coughing and staggering through the streets. We must take action today!
Much like our American forefathers did with all the disease carrying Indians who sneaked around our country many moons ago, we must place these poor savage Mexicans into quarantine reservations.
The United Nations must immediately begin to build huge walled structures in Palestine and Siberia. Studies show that within these arid regions, the H1N1 virus will have a 64% less chance of thriving and spreading between people.
Mexicans who don’t have cars can walk to reservation pickup points, where we will airdrop them into their reservations to heal and recuperate.
This will save the lives of our infected Mexican friends as their virus starves and keep the other ones weak Hispanogenes from falling to the flu too.
This solution must be quickly enacted and it is up to you to petition your leaders. Just imagine the guilt in your heart if your precious child catches a case of Mexican.
As they writhe in agony and bleed from their eyes, crying out “Mommy, save me” from their coughed up lungs, you will only be able to watch behind glass as men in white suits take them off forever in quarantine.
No parent should have to suffer such a fate and this is why we must remember the needs of the many outweigh the few. Mexicans will be happy to move onto reservations, just like the Indians of years ago.
If you see a Mexican looking person lurking about tomorrow, perhaps working produce at the grocery or at your job, ask them if they have the swine flu.
If you see their temper flare up and they get overcome with anger, it’s just like with rabies; they are mad and infected. Quickly run away, grab a mask and then call Immigration Services. You’re probably dealing with someone who is illegal or harboring an infected illegal!
Dear readers, left unchecked this virus will infect us all with a little bit of Mexican coding, the result of which we have seen all around us. People will get sick. People will die. The virus will keep spreading until we all lose touch with our humanity and fall to a dirty pig virus.
No weapons cache of guns and bats can save you from the wrath of a virus. Only careful planning, praying and quarantine; the tools of science, can save us now. Let our health officials act before it’s too late, all before humanity is once again ravaged by a plague. All before children of a new generation have reason to sing a new version of Ring Around the Rosies.
Ashes, Ashes, we will all fall down.