• Banker Saves Suicidal Ducks

    May 21, 2009 2:23 pm 4 comments

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    Creative Commons License photo credit: gamenerd

    Today a banker saved 12 ducks from committing suicide, and it is all caught on tape.

    The backstory here begins with 12 ducks eggs that hatched on the ledge of a banker’s second story window. There is no mention on if the ducklings were born to a dead-beat drake and absentee mommy duck.

    After hatching, the ducks became very depressed because they had no water in which to swim and did not think their fleeing mother wanted to nurture them. Satan then tempted the emotionally scarred baby animals to do the unthinkable; take their lives.

    The banker watched in horror as the 12 ducks, guided by the hands of Satan, waddled to the second-story ledge. One duck is reported to have been heard crying, ‘qwahhk, qwahhk’ as a tear streamed down its cute little beak.

    All the duck wanted was his mom and not to take its life.

    Yet, they all did the unthinkable. At the same time, they jumped. This is all caught on tape. As they plummeted down to Earth and eventually to hell to burn for taking their lives, a miracle happened.

    The banker rushed out of his office, bolted down the stairs and intervened in the evil works of the devil. He knew these ducks had a purpose in life beyond wallowing in parent-less melancholy and then getting roasted in hell.

    These baby ducks were to live a good life and the banker saved every single one of them. Praise God for awesome stories such as this. Let us watch this amazing video.

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