BREAKING: Scientists Claim 47 Million Year Old Monkey Missing Link in Monkey Human Evolution

“This fossil is really a part of our history; this is part of our evolution, deep, deep back into the aeons of time, 47 million years ago.“
- Atheist Professor Professor Jorn Hurum

Today atheist scientists are heralding what they are now calling the Eighth Wonder of the World. Today on May 19th 2009, science has claimed to find proof that man evolved from a monkey.

As morning dawned, scientists unveiled a 47-million-year old skeleton of a monkey. Teams of scientists who secretly worked with the fossil, unearthing it and then carbon dating it, assert that this monkey is the missing link in human evolution.

The skeleton largely resembles a lemur monkey and the scientific team who discovered this fossil presented it today at a news conference in New York. Reports indicate the fossil is 95% complete and the team feels this discovery is ‘like an asteroid falling down to Earth’.

As secular scientists discuss this fossil, talk about Charles Darwin have inevitably come to surface in universities and research labs nationwide. Sir David Attenbourough believes that Darwin ‘would have been thrilled’ about this proclaimed proof of man’s evolution from a monkey.

Pictures of The Fossils (Atlantic Productions)

Sir Attenbourough smugly continued, “‘This little creature is going to show us our connection with the rest of the mammals.’”

“This is the one that connects us directly with them.’”

“Now people can say ‘okay we are primates, show us the link”.

“”The link they would have said up to now is missing – well it’s no longer missing.’”

Secret research of these alleged 47-million-year-old fossils started in Norway, where Professor Jorn Hurum and his team began researching this nearly two foot tall young, female monkey. Professor Hurum’s team secretly researched for two years.

Research notes claim the fossil, which has been named ‘Ida’, is the mother of humanity because it has human-like nails as opposed to claws. Reports also indicate Ida has opposable big toes, similar to the human thumb.

Ida is also reported to have a talus bone in her foot, which is apparently unique as humans still have the same feature within the foot to this day.

it is very alarming that these scientists have placed Ida under the security of highly trained snipers. This fossil was brought to America today during the atheist celebration year of Darwin’s birthday, and it is quite evident that this is all a new hoax created by proponents of secular evolution.

The crux of this story lies with the ‘finding’s of an amateur fossil hunter, 25-years-ago, who allegedly and coincidentally happened upon this fossil in Messel pit in Frankfurt, Germany.

From these sketchy origins, the public is to believe that just like with Joseph Smith and his magic seer stones, that a random chunk of bones discovered 25-years-ago magically pop up today as definitive proof for the atheist scientist’s faith.

“‘This little creature is going to show us our connection with the rest of the mammals. This is the one that connects us directly with them.’”

Secular scientists maintain that even at only 95% complete, some ‘unknown force’ kept Ida well preserved in the mud at the bottom of a volcanic lake. The scientists in this case have cited they have found evidence of Ida’s fur shadow and remains of her last meal.

While all this is fine, it is also an equally interesting coincidence that Ida was discovered within a ‘volcanic lake’ and was preserved by an ‘unknown force’ because such descriptors blatantly match the profile of Satan.

Hell is the most volcanic lake in existence and Satan is well known for his interest in paleontology, as it begets the Lies of Evolution.

The scientists in this survey do not know when to quit, as they have also claimed Ida was a vegan and refused to eat meat, going as far as to state she supported ‘green energy’ too as she lived in trees around the lake, instead of building a house and burning fires to cook her meals.

When I asked the researchers about how they knew Ida was a female and not a male, they once again cited that Ida lacked a bacculum (a bone for a male’s secret part), indicating she was female. When I asked how did they not know the bacculum was not simply missing, like the other bones they claimed where missing, they had no response.

The scientists did report that her milk teeth made them assume Ida was about nine-months-old at her time of death, which is approximately 6-7 years old in human years.

Greedy scientists looking to garner acclaim from this Ida deception have also created a documentary, which you may review here.