God has showed his favor to America once more, this time by blessing our scientists to create a super laser.
The Us Army’s National Ignition Facility unveiled the powerful weapon for the world to behold on Saturday morning. It’s reported that leaders worldwide paused and stood in awe of reports of this weapon’s great power.
Initial reports show that the super laser has the power to burn as hot as a star and even the core of our planet. In addition to providing a potential new source of energy, it doubles as a new super weapon with which to keep the world safe.
California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger proudly boasted about America’s new weapon:
“We have invented the world’s largest laser system.”
“We can create the stars right here on earth… We have the real stuff right here.”
The super laser currently resides in the Lawrence Livermore National Observatory, about an hour’s drive from San Francisco.
This powerful weapon operates by focusing 192 secret state-state-of-the-art lasers on a very small point, generating temperatures and pressures that exist at cores of starts and giant planets.”
NNSA administrator Tom D’Agostino stated, “NIF’s success will be a scientific breakthrough of historic significance; the first demonstration of fusion ignition in a laboratory setting, duplicating on Earth the processes that power the stars.”
“NIF, a cornerstone of the National Nuclear Security Administration’s effort to maintain our nuclear deterrent without nuclear testing, will play a vital role in reshaping national security in the 21st century.”
Our enemies worldwide now cower in fear and despair, because we have the most powerful laser on Earth. Kim Jong Il thought he was special by toying with ancient nuclear technology, but he dare not dream of the horrors we will reign down upon his little hamlet of harlotry with an American super laser mounted on the moon.