Unholy Japanese Create The Penistron

Abe
• ChristWire
May 12, 2009 5:24 pm7 comments

My friends, the Japanese scientsits have now officially gone too far! They have created a way for whores, gays and homosexual pedomen to electronically dilly your kids too! I am absolutely livid and organizing a way to boycott Japan off the world wide web!

I could only pray that Harry Truman were alive to properly take care of the place which created this Penistron contraption because the heat of 1 million nukes will not compare to the heat of hell where its creators belong!

This is outrageous. Japanese scientists have created a new video game where people can electronically control a man’s thingy or a woman’s sallyjessy!

Let’s say a gay man comes on Myspace and tricks your college son into buying on of these abominations. The gay man can use a joystick to electronically control the artificial satan scepter in your son’s room, all the way on the other side of the world via internet.

The gay will then type, ‘Ok, now stick the rod into your devilwhole and I’ll make it move all around with my joystick here!” You see what is going on here! I wish this were two thousand years ago and we had unlimited stones to throw at all involved parties!

Rest assured that while all these online gays, homosexuals and whores are fornicating with this new video game, Satan will be typing ‘LOL’ (laughs out loud) as he creates a new place in hell for all involved parties.

My friends, this game is sick and there is nothing fun about burning in hell. This Penistron is absolutely filthy. Your wife and daughters may get an offer from a stranger to ‘sign on late one night and stick this thingy where the sun dont’ shine’ and think their new play time won’t lead them to burn forever.

Online pedostrians will be trying to send a new ‘gift’ to your sons for Christmas, and you’ll never know why they are locked in their room for hours with their magically swiveling robot scepters.

This Penistron technology is directly from Satan himself and I am not surprised it was invented by the Japanese. Please alert your parenting/church networks about this device so we can start to organize the official boycott. Warning: The following video contains advertisement for an immoral item. Please make sure children are out of the room before reviewing.

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7 Comments

  • So filthy.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1

  • Is this website satire? Everything’s so confusing nowadays…

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 1

  • We need to forbid the Japanese from inventing robots and computer technology. This is an abomination unto science and therefore our global faith.

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    • and exactly how the fuck would you do that? japan isn’t exactly inside american juristriction you dumbass. funnily e nough it’s in japanese juristiction
      oh and bofore anyone goes on about threathing with nukes that’s a declaration of war and since japan is on good terms with most of the world thats a declaration of war on half the world

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      • it’s true they can’t actually attack japan nor china because they will have mostly back up from a Lot of country and you won’t get reinforcement from your allies ( canada and european mostly) in WWII you were Lucky to win the wars very lucky thanks to your allies because without them you would not have won

        but like he said japanese have almost 3/4 of the world in their good sides including canada and most of europe

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  • I love it! When will it be available?!!?!?!?!

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0

  • i want one!
    and japanese are great,
    the bible doesn’t invite such great things, does it?
    japanese are way better than americans!

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0