Woman Bites Off Lover’s Twiddle Rompus

Dan Nordgren
• ChristWire
May 6, 2009 12:52 am30 comments

A boss and secretary who were having an extra-marital affair saw their sinful antics bear the fruit of judgment, as after a car crash led to the secretary biting off her boss’ twiddle rompus!

Marriage should be a sacred union between a man and his wife, and it is no laughing matter to betray one’s sacred oath. The Chinese boss is learning that lesson the hard way in this story.

According to various reports, a woman was giving her boss non-holy mouth to south in a car parked in Singapore Park. As she performed mouth sins upon her boss’ thingy, God caused the car to be struck by a reversing van.

The force of the impact violently jarred the woman’s head around and caused her teeth to clamp down completely. When the smoke had cleared, the boss cried in pain as his liferod had been bitten clean off!

The woman surely wondered how her mouth was suddenly filled with a foul polska kielsba, but the day was to leave an ever more bitter taste in her mouth.

The woman’s husband had suspected she was a whore and was cheating with her boss, so he hired a detective to follow her around. The detective observed the entire scene and took very detailed notes. Here is the summary:

“The car with the client’s wife and boss stopped at Singapore park. After several minutes, the car started to shake violently but then, it was hit by a van.

The client’s wife emerged from the car, screaming and her mouth covered by blood.”

Luckily for the Chinese boss and the harlot, the investigator didn’t organize a mob to stone them to death but instead called medical workers to take the sinful pair to the hospital.

The woman followed the investigator there, with a part of his manhood in her hands.

Moral of the story: don’t cheat on your spouse, or God may cause you to get castrated told on in international news.

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30 Comments

  • TheWretched TheWretched

    victor.gif
    Is it safe?

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  • TheWretched TheWretched

    I got your theme song Dan. By the way. Is it safe?

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  • dan, quit beating around the bush and just say some chick accidently bit her bosses dick off. honestly, i think it’s funny as hell, that’s some bad luck.

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  • Alfred Beetle

    Pretty sure that even if the craziest of crazy tried to stone anyone, they would be alone, and therefore ineffective…

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  • LOL DICK BITE

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  • wow, what would have happened if the Chinese man would have been eating some pussy?

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  • uhh, Dan, when is oral sex holy? When a little boy preforms it on your Deacon or Pastor? “According to various reports, a woman was giving her boss non-holy mouth to south in a car parked in Singapore Park. ”
    Also, fyi, Singapore is not China, look at a map dumbass

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  • Claire is really frickin’ hot.

    Praise or Condemn: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

  • Firstly, AAA, “Also, fyi, Singapore is not China, look at a map dumbass” Just like the hethen Mexicans that cross in to God’s country; I’m sure there are filthy hethen Chinese that cross in to Singapore.

    Second, oral sex is never holy and Brother Dan did not mean that it ever was. It is the domain of homosexuals, probably like yourself since you are obviously arroused by the thought of young boys performing this queer act on the warlocks at your pagan church.

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  • I’m guessing this happened to you. Which could explain why you joined a group of racists and women haters.

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  • TheWretched TheWretched

    Lets see.
    Claire
    female_medic.jpg
    vs
    Amish boy Dan
    paranoidbeardguyar9.png
    Still wondering is it safe?

    Claire wins!

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  • You know, it’s funny that you chose that picture, because I really do have brown hair and glasses.

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  • I doubt Claire looks like that.

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  • damn, i like you already.

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  • TheWretched TheWretched

    Wow, that was lucky cause that was the only Team Fortress 2 Medic pic what was a good looking woman.

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  • On the contrary Adam, when I first saw that picture I was incredibly shocked at how much it looks like me. Granted her chin is too pointy to be realistic, but other than that the resemblance is uncanny.

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  • TheWretched TheWretched

    I can honestly say best discovery ever.

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  • No way.

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  • TheWretched TheWretched

    Way.

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  • your pretty hot Claire

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  • That is a cartoon Claire does not look like that!

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  • Gee Adam, no need to get your thong in a twist just because the cartoon that TheWretched chose bears an uncanny resemblance to me. Besides, how do you know what I look like, you boner?

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  • I’m actually disappointed. For a while I dared let my mind think you were perhaps a legitimately smart girl, Claire. A future medic for animals. Now I see you tempt your professors with talks of sex to “earn” an A in the course. No honor and depraved behavior, so typical of women who claim to be able to do sciences.

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  • “Now I see you tempt your professors with talks of sex to “earn” an A in the course.”

    1. asking where a cat’s penis is in anatomy lab so that you don’t accidentally snip it off is perfectly legitimate
    2. the teacher in question is a 60-something year old lady
    3. I’m a virgin

    “No honor and depraved behavior, so typical of women who claim to be able to do sciences.”

    Sexism and arrogance, so typical of conservative christian men.

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  • Wow, so now you are into lesbian geriatrics. I don’t even know what to say any more, Claire. First you admit that you have lesbian neighbors and now you’ll turn any trick for an “A”. I’m pretty disgusted but fortunately for you, even with all the sin you do Christ will still forgive you and embrace you as his daughter for all eternity.

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  • Just for the Craic

    Very vivid imagination you have there, mate.

    Quiet now, the grown-ups are talking…

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  • I see you’re projecting your fantasies onto me, now.

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  • how dare you treathen claire with a terrorist attack at her home?
    you are a very sick person adam.

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