• Connecticut Church Exorcises Gay Demons, Community in Outrage

    June 25, 2009 3:00 pm Comments Off
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    Abe

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    As revealed by countless empirical assays, one of Satan’s favorite methods to corrupt our youth is by infecting them with gay spirits. Data indicate he fills up his drug needles of impiety with tv shows like Jake and Amir or Spongbob Squarepants, or perhaps some of that homosexual European techno music, and then injects foul sin-marinated ideas into the pure minds of young teens.

    Apparently a youth at a Connecticut church fell victim to gay demons and as medical knowledge dictates, had to be exorcised. Wouldn’t you know that the barbaric liberals are all up in arms over Christians trying to cure this youngster with the holy technology of advanced prayers?

    I wish I was in the area because I’d happily contribute my electrically purified Holy Water and new titanium alloy cross to saving these youths from Satan’s clutches.

    As reported by our Fox affiliates up in Connecticut, controversy started when a local church posted a YouTube video that allegedly showed their members exorcising a teen’s ‘homosexual demons’.

    At this point skeptics out there are furiously jumping around their office or home computer, typing angered responses to claim that there is no such things as teens getting infected with homosexual demons.

    To these people just ask them about American Idol’s Adam Lambert and how there is no other logical explanation for how a young man could be so talented, unless he was inhabited by none other than Freddie Mercury’s effeminate specter.

    In the face of such overwhelming evidence liberals should be funding more research into exorcism technology, but they would just rather whine and complain while Satan continues to tempt our youth into dangerous, life-shattering choices.

    Our Fox friends reveal the following information about the video, which you can find here:

    The video features church elders performing what looks like an exorcism, of what they refer to in the video as “homosexual demons”

    The video shows leaders of the Manifested Glory Ministries in a frenetic scene, screaming, “Right now I command you to leave!”

    At the same time a teen writhing on the ground as the adults around him implore so called “homosexual demons” to get out.

    The leaders yell at the boy on the ground saying, “Right now in the name of Jesus, I call the homosexuality, right now in the name of Jesus.”

    For 20 minutes it continues with the boy in a near seizure, even vomiting.

    By the looks of it, and the repeated references to his sexual orientation, it appears to be a gay exorcism.

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    About The Author
    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!

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