God Explodes A Volcano To Show His Anger With Iran Elections (Seen from Space)
June 26, 2009 by Abe
Filed under Faith Links, Featured, Science, War on Terror
My friends God has once again flexed his power, this time by blowing up a volcano to show his disapproval of Iran’s sham elections last week.
Scientists aboard the International Space Station were horrified and shocked when they heard a loud pop echoing through space, from the heavens, as God gave but a little snap of his fingers to cause the volcano to blow up. When they rand and looked out their space station window, the above picture is what they saw.
It comes as no surprise that God is very upset with this entire situation in Iran, and is giving the world — namely America — a symbolic message of what we must do.
For those not aware, in a true mockery to Democracy, Iranian terror leader Mahmoud Ahmadinejad apparently used his sly political ways to alter chads and mess up touch screens to ‘win’ 63% of the popular vote. His opponent, a man named Mousavi, was rightfully angered in that he was cheated out of an election.
Standing up for their rights, millions of Iranian men and veil women took to the streets to protest the election results. Instead of a peaceful resolution to election protest we had in America, when a dishonest Al Gore tried to steal victory from our Christian President George W. Bush, these poor Iranian citizens were met with violence.
Tears streamed down my face as updates on Twitter revealed how the Iranian elite were threatening these protesting people with torture and death. And as these people attempted to get news of their oppression out to America, a call for our help, the Iranian government instead closed out their access to communication.
Who wills stand up and help these poor people have American freedom?
God has already let his stance on this issue known to the world. And now, America is on the verge of doing the same.
Just after God exploded the volcano, prayerful Republican Senators Graham and John McCain took the call to action. They want America to bring freedom to Iran, so the people of the fine nation can have what they deserve; a free government and rich culture, just like the Christian heritage we enjoy here in America.
Senator John McCain has proposed that the US Air Force send over a squadron of our Predator Drones in a show of support for our Iranian brothers. In a very moving speech to Congress, Senator McCain stated:
“We take the side of the Iranian people to have human rights, to have the freedom that we deem universal.”
These words of truth were preceded by Senator Graham’s call to duty: “”The truth is, this election was rigged and the people in Iran are trying to speak out, and we need to help them.”
My dear friends, Satan hates all people and he wants us to think that the people of Iran are just no good terrorists. Nothing could be any farther from the truth.
The Arab culture is rich and its people very beautiful, but they do have oppressive governments and fundamentalists running the show in their country. While the people of these great lands want peace, their leaders force them to embrace a culture of nukes and brainwashed terrorism. Enough is enough.
America must do what God is ordering us to do and bring freedom to Iran. It is no coincidence that God nuked a volcano in Matsua Island, in Japan, to remind the United States of our worldwide duty.
Just like when we freed Europe and the children of Israel from the forces of Japa-Nazis alliance, we must now free the Persian Arabs from the clutches of the Axis of Evil.
The symbols are clear and God has blessed us with the strength to do this great work, so now we must send our armies and weapons of war on a mission of peace, so that 50 years from now our Iranian brothers will be a part of our Western culture and heritage.
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Can we order Ahmadinejad and his frauding friends to go to Gitmo? If they volunteer to let us maybe waterboard them a bit and ask if they rigged the elections, it will clear the entire thing up peacefully. If they are guilty, they will eventually admit to it and if they are innocent (which I doubt) we can just go from there.
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Now tell me, why would “god” cause a volcano to erupt in JAPAN…to punish IRAN for a fraudulent election? You do realize, Abe, that just because Japan and Iran both end in -an doesn’t mean that they are the same country or in any way connected to one another, right? If “god” had truly wanted to punish Iran, wouldn’t he have, say…unleashed a mighty sand storm, or created a massive earthquake? If “god” is powerful enough to make a volcano erupt in Japan, then I’m sure he’d be more than capable of creating an earthquake or a sand storm in Iran. However, he unleashed NOTHING upon Iran, which proves that the volcanic eruption in Japan was simply an act of nature and had nothing to do with a higher power whatsoever.
You fail, Abe.
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Due to your gender handicap I know abstract thinking may be tough, but basic symbolism should not be that hard to grasp, my friend.
God blessed America to bring peace to Japan with holy nukes he gave our scientists the knowledge to make. It makes sense that God would once again strike down an evacuated area of Japan, to remind us what he did about 60 years ago.
It is our job to use our technology to bring peace. Perhaps Tehran needs to see a little example of America’s power, so they’ll be inspired to broker peace.
Consider Japan, who God obviously wants us to consider as a precedent for Iran. After we sat down with them and had them repent of all the wrong they did in a little treaty, they have since become our friends and we have slowly been able to teach these people about lifestyles of freedom.
There is no reason our friends in Iran cannot be taken through the same process, all for a bright future for our children.
That’s what Abe is getting at and now hopefully you understand.
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I understand symbolism perfectly, you sexist uncle-fucker, but there is nothing symbolic in this volcanic eruption.
“It makes sense that God would once again strike down an evacuated area of Japan, to remind us what he did about 60 years ago.”
So if Hiroshima and Nagasaki were “evacuated” why did 100,000 innocent Japanese die in each of the bombings?
“It is our job to use our technology to bring peace. Perhaps Tehran needs to see a little example of America’s power, so they’ll be inspired to broker peace.”
So…you’re saying that America needs to nuke an “evacuated” part of Iran in order to scare them into brokering peace?
“There is no reason our friends in Iran cannot be taken through the same process, all for a bright future for our children.”
Sexist assholes like yourself don’t have children, Adam.
Sorry Adam, but there’s a difference between finding symbolism and grasping for straws. What you’re doing is the latter.
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So, I might be missing the point, but what is the difference between “using our technology to bring peace” and jihaddist terrorism? Either way, you are committing mass murder to further your own beliefs. How can we as Christians claim to have the moral high-ground when really, we are just as intolerant as the terrorists we are now fighting?
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We’re a Christian nation that’s favored by God, terrorists seek to destroy life and ruin peace.
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this website contains some of the most ignorant people i’ve ever heard in my life! OMG its hilarious to read at my work! ‘God nuked a volcano’ please! like ‘claire’ said it was in JAPAN that the volcano erupted and last i checked Japan was in the ring of fire where volcanos erupt all the time. if God wanted to protest the Iran situation he would have flooded Mesopotamia or something. why dont you all do what your ‘good’ at and predict the end of the world which still has yet to come, so guess what your all wrong again
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This is the best web site on the world wide web! Jesus is Lord! This is a Christian Nation! We need to send our Christian Soldiers to Iran, to spread True Freedom through His Good News! Praise Be to God!
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Please tell me your voice is dripping with sarcasm. If we serve a loving, patient God, why would he want us to declare a jihad against the rest of the world? “Alright, we have killed anyone who dared to oppose us, so now we will teach the few people who were willing to part with their beliefs that killing is bad.”
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Who mentioned jihad?
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This whole website is dripping with satire. It rocks. This has got to be one of the funniest articles I’ve ever read.
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Actually it was the flying spaghetti monster, in all his mighty noodliness, that unleashed Its wrath upon Japan, for disrespecting Its majesty and preferring rice.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is an avid spaghetti fan, so Its noodliness has granted him Its favour. There was no human trickery involved in his election, it was all the work of our almighty, delicious Deity.
And there is just about as much logic in what I just said, as there is in your article. Actually there is more logic in my this message than your ridiculous article. Ask yourself for a moment, if there was a god and mankind was his finest creation, would people as stupid as you really exist?
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you just made my day– thank you.
let these people think what they want, but why not have a laugh at their expense.
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“We’re a Christian nation that’s favored by God, terrorists seek to destroy life and ruin peace.”
That’s your opinion that we’re favored by god.
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We’re best friends with God’s chosen people and the most powerful nation on his Earth. We’re clearly the favored.
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This site contains some of the most biting, but definitely some of the best satire on the web, and also some of the most ignorant, stupid people who actually believe this post is real.
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Shhhh, Emma…you’re going to ruin the secret!
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Are you kidding me?? You can’t be serious?
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Didn’t god tell you that Iranian people are called Iranian, not Arab and they are two totally different races? That’s okay! I guess he was busy with volcanoes!
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You’re a fucking idiot, OP.
“Scientists aboard the International Space Station were horrified and shocked when they heard a loud pop echoing through space”
SOUND
DOES
NOT
TRAVEL
THRU
SPACE
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Iran is not an Arab country, Mr ‘Newsman’.
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