God SLAMS Greedy Iraq With Sandstorm, Tries to Sell American Oil
God Punishes Iraq For Not Freely Sharing Oil with America
God’s wrath was in full display today, as he caused the sunny skies of the Iraqi desserts to be covered with torrential downpours of skin cutting sand because Iraq has committed the sin of greed!
Source: The AP</strong>
BAGHDAD – A heavy sandstorm has blanketed Iraq’s capital, closing the Baghdad airport and delaying the country’s first oil bidding process in 30 years.
Visibility is only a few yards and most of the few people on the streets are wearing surgical masks. Doctors at the city’s hospitals said Sunday that people were coming in complaining about shortness of breath and other problems.
Iraq had planned to award eight oil and gas fields to international oil companies for long-term development on Monday and Tuesday. But (God said not) the airport closure prevented company representatives from landing in Baghdad…
My friends, Iraq is a country full of unappreciative Muzzies who have forgotten that only a few years ago, they were living under the savage, steel thumb of Saddam Hussein and his crazy veil sons.
Fortunately for them, President George W. Bush was a Christian man of honor and integrity, and saw fit to deliver these people from tyranny by bringing freedom to their country.
Now that our armies have removed their backwards, oppressive pagan theorcracy from their countries and replaced it with a real American styled government, the people have forgotten all about their liberators.
Instead of treating us like family, now they want us to leave. Oh, really?
Iraq is greedy. They have plenty of nice oil in their lands and they know their friendly American guardians, who saved them from Hell, can always use an extra cup of two of fresh oil in our cupboards.
Instead of freely sharing what is rightfully ours, the Iraqis gave in to greed and were ready to sell the very oil WE liberated to FOREIGN countries who would have let them die under Saddam’s Sunny hands!
God hates greed and he does not approve of Iraq selling their friends the Americans out, all for a quick communist ruble or European euro.
Take heed, Iraq. God will strike you down if you do not share precious resources with your friends. Sharing is caring, so let us this display by God does not fall on deaf ears, so he won’t have to share more wrath to this young child nation.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Abe
If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack.
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7:26 pm
“My friends, Iraq is a country full of unappreciative Muzzies”
They’re called Muslims, you sexist shit.
“Instead of treating us like family, now they want us to leave. Oh, really?”
Why should they treat us like family? Family members aren’t supposed to kill each other. We have caused hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqis to die. They’re pissed off at us, and rightfully so.
“Iraq is greedy. They have plenty of nice oil in their lands and they know their friendly American guardians, who saved them from Hell, can always use an extra cup of two of fresh oil in our cupboards.”
No, the United States is greedy, considering how we waged war not to “liberate” the Iraqis, but to pillage them of their resources.
“Instead of freely sharing what is rightfully ours”
If it doesn’t come from our country, it’s not rightfully ours.
“God hates greed”
Then he must despise the U.S.
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7:20 am
this is satire, come on haha look at the author! nobody THAT ignorant can spell let alone maintain a website (although alot of commenters dont even know this is a joke which is sickening)
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12:05 am
You have no idea how badly the “conservatives” of the day have become. I don’t even want to call them conservatives, because I can’t stomach what an insult it is to every intelligent conservative I’ve ever debated with.
I don’t know what to call them to be honest. I usually just call them the Tea Party these days.
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12:05 am
Point is, the satirical articles on this site are far too believable with the way the “Christians” in the far right act.
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7:30 pm
Oh, by the way, the title of this article “God SLAMS Greedy Iraq With Sandstorm, Tries to Sell American Oil” makes it sound as though god was trying to sell the oil. Dumbass.
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6:31 pm
A sand storm? In the middle east? UNHEARD OF!!!
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7:40 pm
Oh Abe. You’re such a joker. Everyone knows that American oil can not be drilled or sold. It’s protected by greedy politicians.
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10:13 pm
Lol you didnt know you need wind and sand to do a SANDSTORM and middle east countries are full of sand even in Jesus Era they had SANDSTORM
It’s like here its SNOWSTORM it’s similar instead it’s snow
oh and By the way SANDSTORM exist in USA just to lets you know yet it’s smaller than those in middle east countries but it’s still sandstorm it’s called nature
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