• Woman Sues Captain Crunch: “Crunchberries Were Not Real Berries!”

    June 4, 2009 7:30 pm Comments Off
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  • In ridiculous news today, a woman took Captain Crunch to court.

    Captain “Cap’n” Crunch, long known for his swashbuckling adventures upon high seas of milk and making the roof of your mouth sore from cerealy goodness was taken to a California court this week, where a woman accused the anti-soggy cereal of false advertising.

    Court documents reveal the woman, claims she was shocked to find that Captain Crunch, with Crunchberries, did not contain actual crunch berries. She was not expecting puffed cereal with food coloring.

    Fortunately, the judge in this case was logical and instead of approving this woman’s complaint against Pepsico (Captain Crunch’s owner), gently informed her that it’s generally known that the cereal does not contain real berries.

    Hopefully he also informed her that if you fail to eat the cereal in under two minutes, the soggies may actually reach from your bowl and torment your mouth with mushed misery.

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    About The Author
    Dean Miller God is all I have and I hate emotions.

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