Furious God Strikes Couple With Lightning For Having Public Sex
God’s anger was on display yesterday when he was forced to grab a bolt of his lightning and strike down a couple committing public inappropriate fornication!
Reports indicate the couple was spotted stripping off their sincovers behind a bush, so they could do the do all in public! They thought the bush would veil their sin but nothing can hide from the eyes of God!
Jens Gottlieb, 36 and his 28-year-old girlfriend Lisa Gruhn had allegedly become hot and frisky as they mouth kissed while driving.
Disgusted by what they were doing along the busy A44 motorway in North-Rhine Westphalia, Germany, God knew they were up to no good when they took their car off the highway and parked by a bush.
Being polite, God tried to first give them subtle warnings to stop sinning. He first slightly turned his head and peaked his eyes from behind his hands, clearing his throat as you would do to someone who had perhaps left their fly open or is talking during a movie.
“A-hmm. A-hmm.” When God does this though, it sounds like thunder. The couple ignored his thunder throat clears so he snapped his fingers, creating a lightning storm. The sinners still ignored it and kept baking cakes with their sin parts!
Now angered at their contempt, God summoned a mighty bolt of lightning and struck it down right next to this couple! You can read about it here too if you doubt the power of our God!
Nearby onlookers report that after ‘mighty flash of heavenly wrath’, two terrified and naked people came sprinting from behind a bush!
The couple was spotted running away in fear from God’s wrath, as he continued to thunder tantrum and then caused torrents of rain to crash down upon the Earth, so as to clean the couple’s sin residue off the ground.
Dazed and confused, the couple was spotted some hours later in the dark — both walking in haphazard circles — and had to be rescued by a motorist who called the police.
When officers arrived on the scene, they spotted the couple shivering on the ground, still naked, and sorely afraid. It was cold. It was wet and they were scared. They needed the money.
Huddled together like Adam and Eve right after they committed the first sin some 6,000 years ago, the promiscuous pair was left disoriented by the mighty wrath of God.
The officers helped them dry off and gave them dry clothes, then drove the pair home.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Abe
If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack.
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10:06 pm
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!
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10:10 pm
You sir, need to open your eyes and realize just how ridiculous everyone of these goddamn articles are. Please keep your opinions to yourself. For these opinions of yours you state as fact are lowering the world’s image of our country.
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11:50 pm
Furious God Strikes church goer:
http://www2.tbo.com/content/2009/jul/04/041017/several-people-hurt-lakeland-lightning-strike/news-breaking/
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12:26 am
You atheists really make me sick. Why don’t you go somewhere else with your lies?
You twist a tragic story about being getting near shocked and try to make a mockery of religion. This is why atheists will help stoke the flames of hell with their immoral souls.
What YOU FAILED to mention is that Lakeland, Florida is rated the ‘number one gay spot on Earth’ and is home to that Gay Flamingo club one of the journalists did an expose on several months ago.
http://www.hottestgayplacesfl.com/PulseLakeland.html
The whole community is lucky God doesn’t send a massive hurricane or a heat wave to burn their little town of sin off the map.
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10:23 am
> You twist a tragic story about being getting near shocked and try to make a mockery of religion.
And yet you don’t see any problem with twisting a tragic story about getting shocked to make a point about your religion?
The point is not to make a mockery of religion – is to make a mockery of stupid arguments.
But I wouldn’t expect people like you to be able to grasp basic tenets of logic.
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10:28 am
No, in the link you posted a community which openly embraces homosexuals incurred the wrath of God. You tried to leave that part of the story out of the issue to make it seem like a church in an upstanding community had God’s wrath. Sometimes, bad weather also just randomly happens.
In the article they have about this couple who God clearly targeted with lightning they were in the wrong. Unmarried fornication, public indencies, potentially exposing children to sin, public nudity and the list goes on. They were given warnings and then God shook them up really good.
He didn’t even kill them so they should count this as personal testimony and hopefully have learned a lesson. You need to give proper details Ralph and stop being a baghead like Dawkins and de Grasse Tyson, trying to twist and pervert reality for your own ends.
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1:24 pm
“baghead”?
Wow, Adam, that insult was just so…stinging. Next time you try to insult someone, at least grow some balls and use some grown-up insults, like cocksucker, semen-puker, sack-wrangler, or uncle-fucker.
Got it, you semen-puking asshole-licker dickface?
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9:32 pm
and your excuse for this one:
http://www.milforddailynews.com/homepage/x931215820/Storms-cause-havoc
or this one:
http://www.examiner.com/a-1353100~Lightning_strikes_church_in_historical_Glyndon.html
or this one:
http://www.newschannel5.com/global/story.asp?S=10735953
or this one:
http://www3.gendisasters.com/wisconsin/9713/polonia-wi-lightning-strikes-church-mar-1934
Heck, have a feild day:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=lightning+strikes+church&aq=f&oq=&aqi=
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9:39 pm
July 29, 2009 at 9:32 pm
and your excuse for this one:
http://www.milforddailynews.com/homepage/x931215820/Storms-cause-havoc
or this one:
http://www.examiner.com/a-1353100~Lightning_strikes_church_in_historical_Glyndon.html
or this one:
http://www.newschannel5.com/global/story.asp?S=10735953
or this one:
http://www3.gendisasters.com/wisconsin/9713/polonia-wi-lightning-strikes-church-mar-1934
Heck, have a feild day:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=lightning+strikes+church&aq=f&oq=&aqi=
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2:35 am
For the sake of condemning these unholy miscreants, can you please direct us humble observers to video tape that may have caught the couple committing this sinful act? Or at least clear pictures?
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2:42 am
Not to be vulgar or anything but do this story is absolutely gagathoty. Seriously. Did the woman not consider with the rain and being in an unsanitary place like a highway that with her separator flap exposed…well, you know, that’s how things like STIs and infections occur.
Goes to show people are either being careless about their bodies or not being properly educated in school. Also why are they not in jail for the public acts of filth like this?
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4:23 am
Hey, Who is trying to be me?
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4:23 am
I’M ME!!!!
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4:24 am
No, I’M you.
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4:26 am
I AM ADAM NELSON!!!!!!!!!!11
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4:28 am
NO!!!!! If you’re me, then WHO AM I?
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4:28 am
You’re my clone.
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4:29 am
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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10:02 am
Once again we see no sin is too small for the attention of God. Far too often people invoke the God of the gaps and believe the omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent nature of our God can be put in a box.
God knows the number of hairss on our heads and the nature of our hearts; these people learned the hard way that God is always watching and for some reason, they were struck down.
Too bad he didn’t use a mighty hailstorm to cast shards of rock hard, grapefruit size ice upon their sinning bodies. A public stoning from God would have really reminded these heathen exhibitionists that such things are not moral or right. Notice these people are also not married.
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1:23 pm
are you serious?! the story isnt even written well.. and the end they were still running around naked.. it never says they were struck by lightning. its as if a 3rd grader wrote this story. please tell me you are kidding… what kind of christian must you be to profess such HATE.
“Too bad he didn’t use a mighty hailstorm to cast shards of rock hard, grapefruit size ice upon their sinning bodies. A public stoning from God would have really reminded these heathen exhibitionists that such things are not moral or right. Notice these people are also not married.”
you obviously have no idea what love is.
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7:56 pm
lmao! This website is hilarious! xD
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1:30 pm
And what have we learned:
1. Don’t fuck in storm
2. If you fuck in the storm, fuck in a house with lightning rod
3. If you don’t fuck in a house, fuck in a crowded area so god has to worry about AOE.
4. If you can’t, fuck lightning fast
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9:35 pm
Eric B says:
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
July 29, 2009 at 9:32 pm
and your excuse for this one:
http://www.milforddailynews.com/homepage/x931215820/Storms-cause-havoc
or this one:
http://www.examiner.com/a-1353100~Lightning_strikes_church_in_historical_Glyndon.html
or this one:
http://www.newschannel5.com/global/story.asp?S=10735953
or this one:
http://www3.gendisasters.com/wisconsin/9713/polonia-wi-lightning-strikes-church-mar-1934
Heck, have a feild day:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=lightning+strikes+church&aq=f&oq=&aqi=
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1:31 pm
“They needed the money.”
what does this even mean in the story above??? just kind of comes out of nowhere. what does it have to do with them having sex in the rain during a lightning storm in which they were never struck by lightning. whether they were having sex or not isnt running away from lightning what any sane person would do? dumb ass. what a dumb story.
God, i hope you strike this blogger down with a big bolt of lightning… right through his stupid computer… as he is reading this.
:::closes eyes really tight and wishes as hard as i can:::
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5:21 pm
God has gone “old testament” theses days and when he’s not scaring the hell out of fornicators he is either drowning whole villages, and leveling cities with earthquakes, wild fires, Tornadoes Hurricanes. Of course most of his best work is in places that don’t worship Jesus, except for Texas which he sent fires and a nasty heat wave recently.
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