My roommates and I are big fans of your work and I would really appreciate your help/advice on a pressing issue: what to get one of my roommate for her upcoming wedding!?!
All four of us went to college together and have very “light-heart” personality, so I really wanted to get them a specific humorous gift to match up to that. The problem is that her fiance is a very serious type and a minister. His family is very large, very religious and they attend a big Pentecostal church in the city.
My other roomies think I should cut out the gag, but I think it will be fine (it’s somewhat a gift for their ‘honeymoon night’, if you get my drift). What do you think?
- Excited in Detroit
What a great and rare privilege to be invited to an African-American wedding at a charismatic church. You must be doubly excited for your friend, both for her wedding day but also for how she has beaten the odds.
It is all too common and easy for young Afro-women to be in abusive relationships with several men, having several children and accepting welfare benefits for all their life.
Just like in the Preacher’s Wife, your friend is living the African-American dream. She has herself a nice little degree and the husband is going to be a preacher. This is glorious!
Do not buy them a perverted gag gift. You may tempt the husband’s mind into his people’s traps of seduction (it can start small and snowball into the typical lifestyle of perversion and making secret adultery babies) or the mom to think lower of herself.
Instead, get the family a positive gift that fits their culture. A wonderful new site is Ghettobaskets.com, where you can find gifts for the Afro palate.
It comes with things they will be familiar with such as “Hot Sauce, Pregnancy Test, Grape Drink, Batteries, Beef Jerky, or Potted Meat…”
These are all important part of their heritage and upbringing, so they will truly appreciate something like this gift at their wedding. Congrats to your friend!
I am a mother of three wonderful elementary school age boys and also have one girl, who will be heading to high school next month. While they ate me out of house and home this summer and kept things a mess!!! I really do almost hate to see them go back to school.
During the school year I notice a change in their attitude, sometimes coming home in a foul mood and also using not really expletives but more crass language.
My husband says it is a normal part of the cycle of life and parenting, but I do want my kiddos to be more respectful, even during the school year. Is there any way to keep up their smiling summer fun attitudes (and tips/expectations for a girl in high school?). Thank you Amber!
Dear Poughkeepsie Mom,
Raising children through what I’m assuming to be public school is definitely a daunting task. The differences you see in their personality while at home, around you, for a summer and then when they go back to school with their peers should not come as a surprise.
A child’s mind is a sponge and they will soak up what they have around them in their environment, then squeeze all that content back out throughout the day.
During the school year, it is very imperative to have family time and fun nights. Find activities that your children enjoy, and if they do fine arts or sports make sure to attend those events as a family and do something afterward. You must keep your FAMILY and therefore your habits and values as the biggest peer in your child’s life, especially during the school year.
Just expect your daughter to sigh and complain about it. Freshmen girls will want to establish their independence, and that’s fine and natural. Just keep yourself close to your daughter and remain firm on your rules, but let her also progress naturally into the beautiful young woman you’ve raised her to become.
My wife and I are coming upon our tenth anniversary and I have loved every year we have been together. I am a truly lucky man and she is the absolute jewel of my life.
I am planning a vacation to Hawaii for our anniversary, but in addition to all the common stuff there is one area where…well, I’m not just sure it’s a good idea. Personal fitness.
When we both met, we were pretty svelte people, both being athletes through high school and college. Ten years later, several kids and a mortgage later though, we’ve both let ourselves go just a smidge.
I thought it would be neat to join a fitness center and keep ourselves accountable to each other during the year, and also work out together as we do it. The only problem is I don’t want my wife getting the wrong idea.
She could become a little butterball and my heart will still belong to her. I’d just rather us be healthy and be able to get back to our athletic selves. Do you think this would be an ok thing for anniversary?
BigBellyDad in San Diego
Your attitude is wonderful and after ten years of what seems to be a great relationship, there is no one who knows your wife’s personality better than you.
It seems you already know that she’d love making an effort, especially together, in getting back to your first fell in love shape. And who says she doesn’t want to see you back to your athletic condition!
I think it’s a wonderful idea and if she understands your heart, she will think the same thing as well. Go for it and congratulations on your ten year anniversary.
Dear Miss Amber,
There is a new movie coming out named Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince. Some of my friends are going to see it and I want to see it as well.
I’ve seen the rest of the series (in secret) but my youth pastor at church has made me feel guilty about it and my parents know nothing about the book or series. They just do whatever the church says and forbid seeing it because the pastor and everyone else paints it as evil.
Seriously, what’s wrong with this movie and it’s my life so really should I feel guilty about going to see this movie?
Potter Fan in USA
Dear Potter Fan,
The guilt you are feeling in your heart is directly from God. Your conscience is hopefully tearing you apart for not only disobeying your parents, but also subjecting your mind to a movie which has already cursed you with pagan religions, homosexual religion, celtic religions, the religions of the druids, Wiccans, witchcraft and satanism.
You likely did not understand the movie contains all of those philosophies within it, and is teaching you to embrace them in a very seductive manner. The symbolism behind the lightning bolt on Harry’s forehead, struck their by Voldemort due to a pagan blood magic in Harry’s blood causing anger, is dark art enough in itself.
Each book has just added more dangerously scary sin on top of sin and quite frankly, you should consider yourself lucky for having sneaked out to watch this film and not suffered brainwashing, drug addiction or death like thousands of other people who have seen this film.
If you love yourself and your parents, you will do as they tell you and not see this film. It is very dangerous and will lead you to very dark places in your mind and heart, then you will have to answer for having been a witness to these atrocities when you face your Heavenly Creator on judgment day. Do you think God will approve of you watching a movie that praises and promotes Satan, all against the will of your parents? I think you know the answer.
If you would like to ask Amber a question or for a word of life-enriching advice, simply email AskAmber@christwire.org.