• Mexican Zombie H1N1 Swine Virus Now Resistant To Tamiflu

    July 16, 2009 2:58 am 10 comments

    Tamiflu for MeFear and panic violently grip the world as the H1N1 Mexican virus has mutated and now is resistant to Tamiflu.

    Creative Commons Licensephoto credit: Andyrob

    Like most dirty things that plague humanity, the H1N1 virus took it origins in a small village in Mexico and is now spreading like wildfire through our civilized countries.

    Newest reports estimate that millions of people will contract the virus and that in Australia, over the past few days over 10,000 people fell ill with the virus.

    As warned long ago, in order to keep your family safe from being murdered by this virus, beware the Mexicans who sneak into your town. Liberals initially tried to deny the virus’ origin was Mexico, but time and time again data proved that the virus spread from travelers who had recently visited the plague nation.

    The virus can be spread by object to mouth contact, aireborn or if you get bit by an infected Mexican individual (pig or person). Russia took the precaution of banning all sullied pork products in their country and you should do the same in your home.

    If it says ‘Hecho in Mexico’ burn it in a fire and then immediately call your local poison control center or Emergency Health Crisis Center for moral support. Do not induce vomiting.

    Tell-tell signs of an infected victim includes pallor of the skin and an obstructed sinus cavity which makes the victim’s speech sound like a typical river friendly tongue.  When buying lettuce or tomatoes from your local produce market, make sure the Mexican working there doesn’t have red eyes or matted, greasy hair (from virus sweat) as those are also signs of the virus.

    If you suspect one of our invasive friends does have the virus, kindly speak slowly and explain to them that you will need to call ‘La Migra’ so they can be quarantined in their own country, as God would want to keep all of us good Americans safe and healthy for real jobs.

    This winter will test the health of our nation and we must all take proactive steps to insure our health.  The Mexican Flu is now resistant to our only medicine that could help keep us from turning into Mexicans via DNA infection, so ensuring the safety and you and your family is imperative.

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