Mexican Zombie H1N1 Swine Virus Now Resistant To Tamiflu
Fear and panic violently grip the world as the H1N1 Mexican virus has mutated and now is resistant to Tamiflu.
photoLike most dirty things that plague humanity, the H1N1 virus took it origins in a small village in Mexico and is now spreading like wildfire through our civilized countries.
Newest reports estimate that millions of people will contract the virus and that in Australia, over the past few days over 10,000 people fell ill with the virus.
As warned long ago, in order to keep your family safe from being murdered by this virus, beware the Mexicans who sneak into your town. Liberals initially tried to deny the virus’ origin was Mexico, but time and time again data proved that the virus spread from travelers who had recently visited the plague nation.
The virus can be spread by object to mouth contact, aireborn or if you get bit by an infected Mexican individual (pig or person). Russia took the precaution of banning all sullied pork products in their country and you should do the same in your home.
If it says ‘Hecho in Mexico’ burn it in a fire and then immediately call your local poison control center or Emergency Health Crisis Center for moral support. Do not induce vomiting.
Tell-tell signs of an infected victim includes pallor of the skin and an obstructed sinus cavity which makes the victim’s speech sound like a typical river friendly tongue. When buying lettuce or tomatoes from your local produce market, make sure the Mexican working there doesn’t have red eyes or matted, greasy hair (from virus sweat) as those are also signs of the virus.
If you suspect one of our invasive friends does have the virus, kindly speak slowly and explain to them that you will need to call ‘La Migra’ so they can be quarantined in their own country, as God would want to keep all of us good Americans safe and healthy for real jobs.
This winter will test the health of our nation and we must all take proactive steps to insure our health. The Mexican Flu is now resistant to our only medicine that could help keep us from turning into Mexicans via DNA infection, so ensuring the safety and you and your family is imperative.
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Author: Amber
Amber <3's you and someone else does too!
12:13 am
Newsflash. H1N1 has killed a minor fraction of those infected, and the largest majority of those people were overweight, with a BMI greater than 40. Influenza kills more than H1N1.
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4:16 pm
“The Mexican Flu is now resistant to our only medicine that could help keep us from turning into Mexicans via DNA infection, so ensuring the safety and you and your family is imperative.”
So, the H1N1 virus (aka SWINE flu) will turn me into a Mexican?
The only thing that can turn me into a Mexican is if I move to Mexico and apply to become a citizen there. If you have not taken biology classes, please do not spread this kind of misinformation. Even if you have taken biology classes you would know that DNA is in the nucleus of the cells of your body. There is NO way for ALL of them to mutate at the same time to change your ethnicity.
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5:37 pm
Hhahahahaha! You crack me up. Call La Migra, Hahahahahaha!
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11:25 pm
NO PUEDES ESCRIBIR MAS PENDEJADAS, PORQUE YA NO SE PUEDE MI REINA, EN RESUMEN: SOLO SALE BASURA DE TU CEREBRO.
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12:08 am
I think ol Chorizo up there needs to go back to Mexico if he can’t even have decency to type American in the comments.
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11:41 pm
From every article I’ve read you all are a bunch of racist dumbasses.
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1:30 pm
Oh my, you are uneducated.
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5:01 am
is this website serious? i thought it was a joke like the onion, but if you guys really believe what you are writing, than seriously, go to a doctor.
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7:21 am
h1 n1?
I have bought Tamiflu here and I am pleased. Delivery all over the world!
pharmtablet.com
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12:11 am
So jokes about “Zombie Jesus” are offensive according to this website but not jokes about whole groups of people, not racism! You are sick NAZIs who have the sense of humor of bathroom graffiti from a KKK headquarters in 1956.
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