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Thank You God For Smiting Nikola Tesla Inventions
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Nikola Tesla
“
Yesterday heathens were out celebrating the birthday of famed communist atheist Nikola Tesla. This dangerous man was famous for perverting science and trying to steal ideas from American inventor’s like Thomas Edison as his own.
I am fully convinced that Satan had planned to use Nikola Tesla to cause Armageddon on Earth followed by a Soviet or Chinese takeover, because when you look into the life and times of this ‘scientist’ and the magic experiments he performed, you will get a chill down your spine.
Tesla was very atypical from an early age. The manchild managed to learn how to speak 8 different languages by age 9 and would receive photographic visions from the devil, where he would get complex designs for doomsday machines with which to destroy humanity.
Tesla demonstrates a torture device that can create unholy earthquakes and persecute good people with electrical jolts from a distance of 200 miles away.
If you carefully look at the top apex of the electrical storm machine pictured above, you can see the figure of a wizard or Satan himself powering the sinister device. No scientist on Earth has been able to recreate this technology.
This comes as no surprise, as associates of Tesla reveal that the wizard claimed to receive electric signals from aliens on Mars. Even if he actually believed this to be true, we know those messages were coming right from the laboratories of hell.
While moral scientists like Thomas Edison was busy creating the fluorescent light bulb, FM radio, alternating current and advanced telephones, Tesla was up late in his madhouse creating Soviet Death Rays and explosions that could destroy all life and technology at the speed of light.
There is no way a normal human brain could create the things that Tesla could create from spare aluminum and other junk. When you couple this fact with other things like Tesla being disgusted by women and hating round objects, you have a man who is not quite right.
What took the cake is when Tesla sneaked into America to steal more of Edison’s ideas, and while in New York he one night became bored and Satan gave him a vision for a new terror machine.
Hours later old news paper archives reveal that a massive Earthquake occurred on Fifth Avenue, with the street literally cracking in half and the building that house Tesla’s laboratory crumbling to dust.
The next day Tesla boasted something to the effect: “I have tuned into the magnetic frequency of the Earth’s core and can now create an Earthquake which can split the Earth in half!”
This statement was taken by many to mean that Tesla had managed to create a machine that could literally allow hell to seep into Earth. Thank goodness that God had enough of this man and caused him to go completely insane and broke, and then the American government took all his ideas and locked them away in a vault or hopefully burned them.
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8:12 pm
I loved this post. Hilarious. I don’t even mind if you were being serious, because I’m sure some people out there are actually this intolerant, ignorant, and fucking funny. Ironic considering Nikola Tesla is one of my heroes, too bad he never finished his work on a wireless power station, the world would be 200 years foward. But I love your satire, keep it up, and keep angering us, “GODLESS HEATHENS WITH NO MORALS WHO WANT TO DESTROY THE WORLD!!!”.
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8:21 pm
Before anything else, Edison was a Deist. That is, someone who believes in religion based on reason and logic. Not a christian. But what do I know? I mean, I’m getting my facts from cited sources, not context related rants…
1. Tesla NEVER lived in Russia. His life span was (10 July 1856 – 7 January 1943), of which he moved to AMERICA in 1884. He would be…28. The communist party was not created in russia until the 20′s.
2. “What took the cake is when Tesla sneaked into America to steal more of Edison’s ideas, and while in New York he one night became bored and Satan gave him a vision for a new terror machine.” -your silly quotes.
“Moral Edison”….First off, Edison was a Deist. Second off, a “moral” person would not do…(see below)
“Tesla claims he was offered US$50,000 (~ US$1.1 million in 2007, adjusted for inflation)[28] if he redesigned Edison’s inefficient motor and generators, making an improvement in both service and economy.[22]:54-57 Tesla said he worked night and day on the project and gave the Edison Company several profitable new patents in the process. In 1885 when Tesla inquired about the payment for his work, Edison replied, “Tesla, you don’t understand our American humor,” thus breaking his word.[29][30] Earning a mere US$18 per week, Tesla would have had to work for 53 years to earn the amount he was promised.”
Cite: “^ Clifford A. Pickover, Strange Brains and Genius: The Secret Lives of Eccentric Scientists and Madmen. HarperCollins, 1999. 352 pages. P. 14″
I think you should get back into the kitchen, before satan decides to write a secret message under your frying pan telling you to go on christwire and spread the word of “God”.
My REAL question is, why do the other people on this site attack women and degrade them, but then give you the rights of men?
BTW, Fix your website or change your ISP or something. It goes down like every 5 minutes or something.
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8:23 pm
You know, sometimes I wonder why I bother. I mean, the crazy right winged idiots don’t care, and to everyone else I’m just stating the obvious. But hey, someone has to every now and then.
Now, back to the wonderful world of a pseudo-undistorted reality.
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2:53 am
I’ve got to agree with Laughing. This pathetic post was absolutely hysterical. I might bookmark it for those days when I need a good deep belly laugh. Of course, it IS unfortunate that you’re actually serious.
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5:43 pm
LOL amber is the fucking funniest bitch.. trollercoaster ftw roflwafflecoptermaobbqwtflolftwkthxbaiggscya
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10:28 am
I love this site. The sheer irony and dissemination of hate and propaganda warms my heart. To know that ignorance and “faith” will remain strong collaborators in the war on decency is reassuring.
Stay strong Amber, keep it coming.
PS Satan is a great PR man, keep doing his work for him and he can use the vacation he’s accrued.
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11:09 am
Man I sure hope Obama dosnt get ahold of any of these devises, but I think that IT MITE HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!1 HE HAS A WHOLE SeCRE SERVIS BEHIND HIM WHO PROBLY HAS THE INVENSHINS FIGURED OUT ALREADY CANT YOU SEE WHAT HE IS GOING TO DO TO THE NATION we need to protect thi snation as CHRISTIANS!!!!!!!!!!111
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3:41 am
Amber… just quit trying. You’re not funny at all. Your posts make me slap my forehead uncontrollably. Abe on the other hand, now he’s a riot. I hear he wrestles gators.
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2:59 pm
heheheheheh
ahahahahahahah
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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2:23 pm
This better not be serious! Nikola Tesla was one of the greatest inventors of the 20th century! Without him, we wouldn’t have radio or AC electricity. If this is serious, then I have lost all respect for religion! I am proud to be an Atheist!
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7:56 pm
What the hell is wrong with you? If I could find you I’d show you what!!!
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8:20 am
You think there not all around you its not your holy book you see when you go outside only nikola tesla is just like a super christian all made up in his abilty to heal and make better our countrys. if you think you could compare your heros to mine your wrong only thing is i can pick up where nikola started you cant be jesus.
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8:30 am
And if he can teach amish people to make there stuff better and make it so you can have this transmission. all those funny things inside your computer
your car your school room his system around the world in space in your face thomas edison was a wicked man dont put your false prophets in my face.
you would only be smarter if banker men and sleezy audience lovers didnt disgrace our country and still to this day inventors imitate his his style and proclaim it some new invention 110 years later or has he not been picked on by voltures you call men for 135 years? back when his first source was a telagraph wire desinged along the rails of trains which dispatched messages via horse riders? i suggest your icon is betrayered as the many sermons you may find in our good book once you stand to attention you might be able to help him helping you by helping others this my friend is trinity.
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9:50 pm
You are ignorant and spreading false information. Go educate yourself.
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6:31 pm
This is hysterical.
I really hope you’re joking, because it scares me to think that anybody could be this ignorant or terribly misinformed.
TESLA WAS THE GENIUS BEHIND AC CURRENT. (and FM radio and Flourescent light bulbs and so much more). He had a brilliant mind, that was in no *proveable* way influenced by the devil. Without him, modern technology wouldn’t be half as developed as it is today.
It isn’t right that after such great contributions to society, anyone should hate him so much. Especially for these reasons (which are absolute bull, by the way.)
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8:57 pm
The funny thing about this page is that most comments on this page are by Atheists. (I’m an Atheist by the way xD) Also you have the edison/Tesla thing switched. Tesla was responsible AC, and the wireless technologies. Edison was responsible for 1 ELECTROCUTING THOUSANDS OF ANIMALS with Tesla’s systems trying to discredit him. yup. sounds like he’s quite the “moral scientist”. Amber, you are the WORST type of christian by the way. If it weren’t for Tesla you wouldn’t be able to spout your ignorance across the internet. But you would find some other way…
By the way laboratories of hell? Do you shoot up heroin while blogging?
1 (http://msgboard.snopes.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=89;t=000088;p=0)
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9:46 pm
Sorry. What I meant to say was he electrocuted an elephant to discredit Tesla. The electrocution of thousands of animals was his “way” of testing his electric chair.
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11:29 am
Transesterification of plant oils with methanol is a relatively simple process that yields high conversions with only glycerin as a byproduct. ,
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8:40 am
Target tomorrow and get me some. ,
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4:54 pm
Dude you shouldnt be on the internet because Nikola Tesla was the first to envisioned it and dont use your computer anymore because he envisioned that too so turn off all you electronics and go live in a cave with your bible
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2:22 pm
Pa majke vi ga nabijem rente jedne retardirane. Tesla je bio jebani sin od jebanog popa americki seljaci. Tesla je bio jebani genije i hteo je da sperci II svetski rat za sve a pogotovu za vas retardirani amerikanci!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111!!1
P.S. SATAN FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111!!!!!!!!1
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5:07 am
wow, this was really not funny. kind of painful actually…
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8:44 pm
Well, It is official. It has been a rough year, and I stumbled upon this site while reaching out for affirmation of my faith in God. Now, after all these years, because of this site, I am truly embarrased to call myself a Christian. After reading articles by Tyson Bowers III and Amber, etc., I have been convinced that the Christian faith leads no where. These people actually believe what they are writing, but what is more disturbing is the fact that they think they are doing it as a part of God’s Will. I’m so tired of making excuses for for other people in my own religion.
You have convinced me, though not in the way that you intended. I give up.
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10:21 pm
UsedtobeChristian – This website isn’t serious. It’s obviously satire. Nobody is seriously advocating any of this. Just take a look at the article about the bearsharktopus.
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12:58 pm
you mam win a nobel prize in trolling.
doing a project on this terrific dude right here right now actually.
Tesla was 20th century Jesus, only difference is this dude actually shoots lightning.
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1:06 pm
I know that some think this site is a joke or satire, but truth is, it’s not. There are actually people out there who believe this shit, I have met some of them. MOST of them have had some tragic event in their lives that forced them into this type of psychosis. Like the guy who hates gays, probably because he is either a closet gay himself, or because he is transferring some hate from someone who abused him as a child to every gay person on the earth. It’s quite normal, actually, to do that. Also, ONLY Christianity gives an excuse to people like this, well RELIGION in general is corrupt. There is not god, no heaven or hell, only REASON and SCIENCE explains the natural world. BE A FREE THINKER!
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12:32 pm
Nikola Tesla is one of the greatest scientist to ever walk the Earth. “People” like you discrace everyone making christians, Americans, and Humans look horrible. If there is some deity (which there is not), you are probably the opposite of it!
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10:36 am
lol, i’m 100% certain that Tesla discovered AC electricity, while Edison tried to push his designs using DC electricity. That was their main rivalry and to say Edison was working on AC is completely misinformed, he was completely against it because it wasn’t his design!!!!!
…that and just about everything else in this article is wrong.
Just to point out to the author, The Bible makes it very clear that you shouldn’t believe in magic and wizards, so STOP IT.
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2:23 am
“The gift of mental power comes from God, Divine Being, and if we concetrate our minds on that truth, we become in tune with this great power.
My Mother had taught me to seek all truth in the Bible.”
That’s a quotation from Nikola Tesla himself.
Doesn’t really sound like something an atheist would say, much less an agent of Satan.
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9:04 am
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9:11 am
Indeed
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