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Cash for Clunkers Requirements
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Now that Barack Obama as emulated his favorite communist, Hugo Chavez, by stealing General Motors (GM) from its proper executives and placing said company under liberal government control, he wants Americans to buy a bunch of cars.
Since many people have lost jobs, homes, health care and money due to Obama doing things like giving $1 billion of our American money to Palestinian Hamas terrorists, funding worldwide abortion, fighting two pointless wars and other the other stuff that has destroyed our economy, the president conned a way to enable the poor to ‘get’ new cars: Cash for Clunkers Program.
The more they buy cars (particularly GM) at the expense of us who come from well-established families and have proper jobs from earning our doctorates, the more Obama can funnel into his coffers and his terror-enabling colleagues.
Keep in mind the the Democrat Congress is currently charging is another $2 billion to fund this pointless program. Laissez-faire is a term they think is meant for kindling, like a suspected witch who must be set at the stake.
The cash for clunkers requirements:
1. Own a child’s play car.
The first way you can tell Obama is trying to help out his “brothers” in the ‘hood is from the list of vehicles being accepted in the Cash for Clunkers program.
A family of proper means would not have any of these as the family car, and I definitely do not see my Volvo or my wife’s Mercedes CLK. There’s also a strange lack of the family Range Rover or my son’s 2005 BMW 325i. In other words, note how we are paying $2 billion in taxes and none of the cars on the list come close to what we own.
Why am I helping poor urban families get a new family car? Obama, as usual, has found another way to rob the pockets of those who have earned their possessions and money. I guess we should have come to expect such things when you take someone of his genetic condition and mix it with a slick Harvard education: a paper gang-banger.
2. Urban families must show Title, Proof of Insurance and Registration to Car Dealer
This particular clause is the only saving grace for potentially curbing the number of urban minorities who will be squandering our national wealth through this program.
It’s well known these people tend to try to skimp or get by without insurance on their cars, and it’s questionable if they legally own half of them. So perhaps this will be the saving grace and the full $2 billion, which again –mind you– benefits us with proper lifestyles and jobs in no way, will not be fully exhausted.
Step 3 Car Rebates These urban families or thugs get $3500 if the lemon car gets at least 4 mpg more than the trade-in or $4500 rebate if the car gets at least 10 mpg or more than trade-in. Similar numbers apply for trucks and SUVs.
So if a family can push in their ragged Honda or Acura steel trash pit, windows mucked with hair grease and floor dirty with after church chicken buckets, they get to steal $3500 from my bank account and leave the parking lot with a new car.
Great job, Obama. Robbing from the people who make the country run so that people who are already getting free food and soon universal healthcare on my hard-earned corporate dollar now also get free cars.
While we’re at it, let’s just buy them a nice lunch at Granita’s then fly them out first class to New York for a nice night on the town and a Broadway production. After all, who cares about the dollar of the people with six-figure jobs.
5:00 pm
Um, it’s not pointless. And quit saying shit about Obama. You guys only hate him because you’re anti-democrat and hate black people.
Bah, fuck it. It’s fucking pointless to make fun of a fucking satire website.
I’m just gonna go hijack a random article now.
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1:15 am
While I did vote against Obama, I like this idea and these morons running this site can’t seem to pull their heads out of their asses for a second to figure out why things are this way. Now, that aside, I hate Obama and find him way too inexperienced to run teh country. That aside, this is a VERY smart idea. Oh,and the GM thing, they shot themselves in the foot with a retarded retirement plan.
VOTE GREEN! DARTH NADER 2012
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5:08 am
Just as we’re warned in the New Testament, those who try to ride the fence will incur the wrath of our Lord. There is one party that God approves, and it’s the one with his name in the true title, G.O.P.
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7:36 am
“and I definitely do not see my Volvo or my wife’s Mercedes CLK. There’s also a strange lack of the family Range Rover or my son’s 2005 BMW 325i.”
Um, I counted 16 Volvo models on that list, 43 Mercedes, 18 Range Rovers, and 41 BMWs.
“Why am I helping poor urban families get a new family car?”
Because they’re human beings, too, and you should care about more people on this earth than just yourself and your family.
Didn’t Jesus believe in helping the poor?
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7:45 am
“fighting two pointless wars”
You mean the wars that Bush started? Hmm, I’ll bet you didn’t consider them “pointless” when Bush was in office.
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12:21 pm
They were God ordained then. We had to smoke the terrorists out of their holes so they wouldn’t think they could just sneak into our countries and tear or buildings down.
When Bush was in office they had the fear of God himself in their hearts. We took their great terror leaders Saddam Hussein and his sons, and defeated their armies. We left their carcasses for all the world to look upon and see the power of a true Christian nation. Udday, Hussay and Saddam all felt our glorious wrath and the Iraqis were given freedom.
Afghani terrorists hid in fear and their people fled to volunteer to go to Guantanamo, so as to receive food, shelter and mercy all in exchange for politely telling us the plans of terror, sometimes with some gentle prodding being necessary.
Since Obama has been in office, he tried to close down our Guantanamo Bay. This emboldened terrorists and he quickly went back to the noble President George W. Bush’s policy of having that facility OPEN as a beacon, a refuge for all terrorists who wish to take the better path and atone for their sins against America.
Now Obama talks about running away from our mission to keep Afghanistan safe. He wants to run from our new subjects in Iraq, letting the Iranian pagans overrun our new nice oil-filled lands with chaos. He aides Palestine with billions of dollars while forbidding Israel to use nukes our holy presidents like Reagan and George H.W. Bush helped them attain.
He lets Iran build nuclear weapons.
So yes, he’s taking a great history changing effort of peace in the middle east and is squandering it all with his liberal agenda, which is not ordained by anyone in Heaven.
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6:23 pm
“Afghani terrorists hid in fear and their people fled to volunteer to go to Guantanamo, so as to receive food, shelter and mercy all in exchange for politely telling us the plans of terror, sometimes with some gentle prodding being necessary.”
Well according to Dan, you enjoy some serious kink, so I suppose that what went on at Guantanamo was mere child’s play compared to what goes on in your bedroom. I understand that this is your favorite device:
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