Vatican Warns ‘Don’t Put Money Before God’

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Rome, Italy – The Vatican has warned surrounding Italy to beware the wrath of God. This warning comes after Italians have become more than infatuated with their country’s national lotto system, where they are coveting money and spending money they could give to the church on sinful lotto tickets.

Italians are a race of people who teeter between the path of morality and that of self-destruction. Not only a half century ago, they dared stand against God and America as they joined the Japanese and NAZIs in war.

They were crushed under the might of our Christian American army and hopefully they learned their lesson, as next time God may strike down their entire country instead of just making an example of their leaders.