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Why Can’t I Own A Canadian?
August 31, 2009 by Amber
Filed under Uncategorized
Growing up in Southern California, my family was blessed to own three house Mexicans. Though they did not speak much American, they still had hearts of gold.
They would cook, clean, garden and tend to my siblings and me, all with a kindly smile and steadfast determination. At the end of the day, dad would give them a bit of money and usually some food or other nice things to take home with them.
The older lady of them, Dona Josefa, lived with us throughout a good portion of the school year. Memories of her smiling eyes and taco-scented hugs still fill my heart with warmth to this very day.
All across Southern California, Mexicans are vital to the economy. Some help farmers pick lettuce and sell produce to the free markets. Others do massive amounts of landscaping or perhaps serve up burgers at the local McDonalds.
My childhood house Mexicans always worked hard and all three of those ladies never asked for a cent more than what they were paid; they appreciated the honor of serving a proper family with their dedicated work.
In exchange for their service, we gave them really money — American dollars — to take home to their families. I think Dad paid each of them $50 a day, which is good money for a Mexican. They never stole and we helped their family establish a great new life in los Estados Unidos and even shared the same Catholic faith.
Sadly, things are not the same in modern times.
There are liberals out there who are racist and hate Mexicans. They call them lazy, no good workers and have no sympathy for the way Mexico’s economy is failing them. Mexico is full of corrupt politicians who squander US aide money and ship it into their African-inspired drug cartels, and liberals create laws that make us give health-insurance to children born to Mexicans in our country, so we will have anger toward the Mexicans for using up our health care.
These hard-working Mexicans only want to sneak into America so they can work for our families. Sure, there are bad apples in every bunch. Some Mexicans are indeed very evil opportunists, and our border patrol guards and patriots can only wait and pick out so many suspicious looking ones, then send them back to their swine-flu laden lands.
Many of the new Mexicans who sneak into our country have attitudes. They love knives and violence. They are no longer professing 3rd world Catholics like my house Mexicans growing up. They are gangsters malos and strike terror into my heart.
Not even the women can be trusted, as they will steal your items and flaunt their curvy bean dipped hips in front of your husband and sons. I would love for my children to have the culture-enriching experience of having several Mexican nannies, but the risk is too great.
Thinking about this, one thing popped into my mind. Why can’t I own a Canadian?
Think about it. Racism is ugly and trusting one’s neighbors is Christlike, so we should also let people from ALL the lesser Americas to come visit us to work as well. Canada is a country full of snow-bound savages who are good at chopping wood and light industrial tasks.
Imagine how much the impoverished state of Michigan could benefit by having Native Canadians and even their fair-skinned counterparts drift into the state to provide base labor. It would juice the economy.
Looking at data, we can actually see that Canada is a far more peaceful nation than that of Mexicans. Go figure, it is full of former British and Indian bloodlines. Millions of Canadians anxiously await for us to allow them to sneak in, as they all live within 200 miles of our American border.
Owning poor foreign people is a great experience that every family should have. The values and warm memories I have from the experience are everlasting, and I’m sure those three kind Mexican women were able to provide their family with untold riches from all the money we gave them.
If we are able to have such an experience with more trustworthy modern people, like the Canadians, it would be a truly splendid thing for this generation and more to come.
It would actually be more prudent to encourage jobless Canadians to come to America and be our house workers.
Friends, let us vote the liberals out of office. They are against NAFTA and a super-highway that will connect us in special Christian harmony.
Are you effing kidding me?
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Are you really hat effing stupid. “why can’t I own a Canadian?” Who in there right mind would right a blog about that. ANd im PRetty sure that $50 dollars a day is shit. And can you honestly think that you can own people? What semi smart person thinks that?
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Ok Amber, no offence, but you, are a racist bigoted prick who needs to fuck back off to their communal cult and continue wasting your life in a vein attempt to appease a God who doesn’t even exist, How’d you like them apples, you stupid dirty bitch? It’s people like you who keep us in the dark ages. Well done, if God did exist, he would fucking hate you.
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you are so fucking retarted, you american cunt, you fuks wish you could be like us,(Canadians)we don’t need to shoot anybody, we get FREE health care, you dipshits are scared of your country, your neighbours, your shadows when you walk outside at night, and you post this shit on a Christaian website, does your bible state only God loves Americans, lol, your stupidity did make me laugh today, that their are retarted people that know how to type words, (two fingers counts)
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Sometimes when I get bored at school I type in a word on google, and see what kind of things other people having been searching(this could be becuase I am an American and I’m stipid. I don’t know.) So I typed in the word “why”, and see quite a few interesting questions. “Why do men have nipples?”, “Why does my vag smell?”. But when I see “Why can’t I own a Canadian?” I was interested. What caught my attention though, was not the article itself(though really disturbing, and morally fucked) but was the comments. I am not proud to be an American… I would acctually love to live in Canada. I’m not happy being grouped in with the steriotype of the country I live in. My family was never able to afford great health care, and my mom, father, brother and I are all pretty damn fit. I’m not completely ignorant… I’m not full of myself or my country. and I don’t think that we are superior to Canada, in any way. There are worse places to live, and there are better places to live. I’m sorry, but I was a bit offended when I read the things that these Canadians were saying about me. Yes I said me, becuase I did take it a bit personally. Im sorry, I just don’t want myself or the people like me to be grouped in with these seriotypes. There a lot of people who aren’t like that… Just think about what you say before you say it. Canada is amazing… I’ll be moving down there as soon as its possible. though I will miss the country I live in currently. Thats all I really have to say.
- An underwieght, kind of ignorant, Unconcieded, American.
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Holy shit, I’m sorry. Seriously, I had no idea Canadians had access to the internet. My most heartfelt apologies… Thank god Mexicans still don’t know how to use computers, I’d really be fucked.
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TO: Nicci, you sound so nice and rather unlike the Americans the world knows but sadly you’ve been a victim of the American education system. Canada is “up”, Mexico is “down”, sweetie.
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This articcle was written by an obvioius dumb ass. Please don’t think all of us in the United States are as fucking stupid as this girl, even though most are.
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Is this a joke or are you that fucking stupid? If this isnt a joke i hope you live alone by yourself for the rest of your life, idiots like you are a danger to the rest of the world
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Amber, I love you.
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I was bored and typed in WHY in Google. The whole discussion is very funny and gave me a good laugh. Thank you. I tell people that the reason I broke up with my boyfriend is that he acted like a Canadian at our local baseball game this summer- he wouldn’t take off his hat during the national anthem! Darn Newfies!(NewFoundlanders)
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What the fuck is your problem you american piece of shit what the fuck is your problem!! you can’t own a fucking canadian, why don’t you just go and get ass fucked by your bulldog you pudgy cunt, you have been fucked in the ass by your dog so much that when you fart instead of hearing a rip type of noise you here a whiff because your dogs fat chode has torn your asshole apart. Have some more mcdonalds you fat fuck it’s obviously ruining your brain because you honestly think that you can own a fucking canadian, i am going to shove ferris’ dick down your throat so far that it will tickle your intestines, and you will shit a brick.
FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cunts.
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amber:
Are you fucking stupid or something?
Who would write something like that?
Mexicans don’t know how to use computers yet?
Chinga tu puta madre mendiga lepa.
I bet my high school intelligence level as a Mexican-American is 10 times superior to your fucking white trash puny brain.
I’m surprised that you even got through the whole blog, or what, did someone have to read it for you and explain it?
You know what, why am I even wasting my time with a dumbass with a fucking ECE level of comprehension skills.
I’m ashamed of being an American with idiots like you inhabiting this country, you should just roll over and die or something.
PS. who is stupid enough to question whether or not a website like this is accessible to Canadians?, my deepest regrets to Canadians and Mexicans in behalf of all the other non vain or racist Americans.
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i love the idiots that talk about being semi-smart and what not. Well, learn how to SPELL first before making insults. You people on here talking to this person thinking your going to change her ideology…once again. IDIOTS. You can curse all you want, you can say whatever you want, it will only fuel amber’s fire. Hahahahaha take a psychology class or something.
p.s. Americans > Canadians.
Canadians live in the shadow of the United States…soooo don’t be too butthurt.
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Whoever wrote this the stupidest person I have have ever heard. They should be shot in the face and drug behind a pickup then defecated upon by hundreds of aids stricken people with explosive diarrhea. You suck!
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after reading so much idiocy i thought to myself, oh this bitch has to be fucking kidding too. then i realized shes serious, so i checked the date to see if this was somehow written maybe 100 yrs ago, get this august 31, 2009 not even a year ago. so naturally i assumed i read wrong and this cunt is actually from texas, no CA(most upsetting thing for me cause i live there and PLEASE DONT THINK ALL PEOPLE FROM CA ARE LIKE THIS, WE ARE NOTHING LIKE THIS BITCH WE ARE MOSTLY KIND PEOPLE DEFINATELY NOT RACIST AND ANY CANADIANS READING THIS DONT START HATING ALL AMERICANS BECAUSE OF THIS BITCH IM AMERICAN I DONT HAVE ANY PROBLEM WITH CANADIANS OR CANADA I KINDA THINK ITS BETTER THAN AMERICA YOU GUYS GOT HEALTH CARE AND I HEARD YOUR NOT ALLOWED TO SPIT ON SIDEWALKS THERE AND THAT ITS REALLY CLEAN THERE ANYWAYS DONT MAKE YOUR OPINION TIL YOU MEET US WERE NOT PEOPLE EXCEPT THIS BITCH AMBER) so now im just assuming this bitch is seriously dumb and was dropped a few times as a baby. i am gonna sit and take my time to say a few things(though theres nothing right about this)of the many that are wrong with this.me and my fam were blessed to own mexicans,seriously thats not a blessing thats horrible theyre people. They would cook, clean, garden and tend to my siblings and me, all with a kindly smile and steadfast determination, i think they were smiling cause each time they cooked they did all kinds of nasty shit to your food.
HEY WHAT DO YOU KNOW THIS IS SATIRE. I DON’T CARE, I COULDN’T FIND ONE TIME THIS BITCH SAID SO. ALSO I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOU DON’T GO ABOUT IT LIKE THIS, YOU DON’T OFFEND PEOPLE LIKE THIS BESIDES THIS SHIT MAKES EVERYBODY LOOK BAD AND GIVES PEOPLE THE RIGHT TO FEED INTO STEREOTYPES
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oh no, people in california aren’t racist at all, they can still make ignorant comments about Texas though right? get over yourself you hypocrite bitch…PLEASE stay in california
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Dear Grade School Googlers,
I have hairs in my nose that consist of more substance than that which exists in your heads. The entire article is complete sarcasm, and it should be obvious to anyone who bothered to actually read it. It hardly surprises me anymore, since people are still trying to get “To Kill a Mockingbird” banned for its use of the word “nigger,” but should anyone ever ask me to define narrow-minded literalism, I will direct them to this comment section.
Sincerely, Cal.
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1) Amber you are absolutely amazing. I love you.
2) Look at all the stupid ass canadians. Boo hoo. You stipid fucking american bitch ass cunt whore dumbasses. (and every
other name in the book, because they are ignorant canadians who wish they could have a vocabulary.)
To all you dumb canadians, your worse than the mexicans. Look at what you fucktards post.
You make me lawlzors in my pants.
To all you dumb canadians. PLEASE. DON’T. HESITATE. TO. GO. PLAY. IN. TRAFFIC.
You are a hazard to the human population, you DO NOT and SHOULD NOT reproduce.
Your are fucking up the world we live in with your ignorance and stupidity.
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DON’T DO IT AMBER!!! It’s a TRAP!!
Sure, those CANADIANS look CUTE when THEY’RE YOUNG, but YOU MAY NOT BE PREPARED TO DEAL WITH AN ADULT CANADIAN!!! ESPECIALLY A BULL CANADIAN!
The CANADIAN DECEIVES us into THINKING that HE is LIKE US! He may SPEAK a LANGUAGE that is like AMERICAN, but it’s NOT!!! He’ll say some JIBBER-WORDS like “ABOOT”,”MACKINAW”, or “TOBOGGAN” which will GIVE HIM AWAY! DON’T let him CORRUPT your GOD-GIVEN AMERICAN LANGUAGE!
If YOU are not CAREFUL, he’ll LEAD YOU INTO A LIFE OF SOCIALISM, SIN, and the HORRORS of the METRIC SYSTEM!
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Newsflash, dipshit:
There is no language as “American”. It’s not a race, either; it’s a nationality.
We speak English in this country. Why? Because most of the first white settlers in North America were from England. You know, Jamestown, the Mayflower, etc.?
Read some factual history and get your head outta’ your ass. Oh, and here’s a tip: the answer won’t be found in your 2000 year old book of fairy tales.
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newsflash dipshit. the comment you replied to was clearly a joke
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I figure this article has to be a joke? Is this site about making Christians look crazy? I’m not Christian but come on now let’s not make them look any worse than the nut job evangelical fundamentalists. God help those people cause if they are right holy shit are they ever going to get an ear full from the lord when they die. But I guess a good lord would not descriminate against the retarded.
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OMG are you fucking retarded. First of all fag for brains, for the las 20 years china has been trying to hackaway at our american language and keeping our children as slaves and meat for the winter….if we dont fight back by chaining ups some canadians we might as well just bend over and let old jesus H christ shove that big crucifix up our ass.
dont fogert while hes doing it jesus will jizz on ur face cause he’s 50% god jizz is able to fly into ur face and down ur throat….btw dont tell him he has a small penis, he gets it from his dad
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American is not English dipshit, you fuckers can’t spell. It has similarities but it’s not English. Seriously though If you consider Mancunian, English you need your head read. There are only two countries that actually speak proper English and even the sheep shaggers in Australia fuck it up a little. Viva South Africa.
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you are the GREATEST TROLL ON THE INTERNET.
EVER.
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Oh God! Its so good! I thought Canadians had a sense of humor? How dumb are these people? Amber, I’m desperately in love with you. You have managed to offend these people far beyond reason, for that I am eternally greatful. Even if you’re a man I would like to somehow have your children.
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That’s hilarious, Austin, you are my hero.
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AT WRESTLEMANIA HULK HOGAN, YOU WILL FEEL THE FULL MIGHT, OF THE BODY SLAM FROM THE SPACE WORMS THAT LIVE IN THE MINDS, OF THE GREATEST PINE-CONES!!! I NEED SCISSORS!!! SIXTY-ONE!!!!!!11!onelol
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Can I have Oliver? I like him =^_^=
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OMGosh i remember you… and no… sorry Canadians aren’t for sale xD
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ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS ARTICLE?!?!?!?!?!
I know your precious book of fairy tales condones owning slaves, but here in the 21st century WE DO NOT!
Amber, you’re a racist cunt bag. I hope you get hit by a bus so I can come dance on your grave.
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amen, brother
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Actually, idiots, this article WAS a joke, so cool it with your hate speech would ya?
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It may be a joke, but how do you feel when you read “jokes” told at the expense of American values and stereotypes or about the enslavement of a fellow human being. Nobody anywhere should use slavery as a joke. It is a disgusting part of North America past that sane minded individuals are happy has ended. Using slavery as a punch line undermines severe oppression slaves endured.
Additionally, I am a Canadian, but I have lived in many countries. What this article promotes is found around the world. Canada is a thriving country with an excellent economy and an amazing democratic system. Yet these “jokes” are pervasive on the internet and in other forms of media, and they restrict Canada from gaining the respect it deserves.
Jokes may be intended to be light hearted, but when you are the subject you are never happy about it. I acknowledge that this article must be written in jest, but I still reserve my right to be grossly offended at the content and the intended or unintended propagation of negative stereotypes.
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at first i thought this was a joke, but know that i think about it after reading the hate spewed from those who didn’t get the joke, maybe we should enslave a few of them. maybe theres a good idea in this. after all canada is americas hat.
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So if you admit it is a jest, please explain to me why you are ranting on about it as if it weren’t.
And tell me how putting a stigma around any sort of discussion that mentions racism (you are talking about a joke here) is going to help. That’s right, it won’t, so instead of ranting on about it to people you will never meet, just chuckle and move on. That way, people like me won’t have to get involved.
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Are you a complete idiot? It’s clearly a joke.
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My favorite thing about this article is the amazing number of people who just can’t seem to wrap their minds around the idea of satire and the hilarious reactions to the continued satirizing throughout the comments section. I always wondered if there really were true idiots like yourselves out there. Thanks for confirming my suspicions! Just a little hint for all you people getting your panties in a twist: look up Jonathan Swift. And if you still don’t get it….please leave more comments for me to laugh at. Thanks!
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That Janice above is not me as everybody know. I dont swear like a sailor.
I have ben to Canada and it very nice. I like Vancouver. The sun and the water! But I don’t understand the point of this article. I don’t think you need Canadians to rake your yard there are so many good Americans without work right now in this econmy. Anyways, I think this article sort of relates to this whole point:
Why are white people so lazy? Because they can afford to be
http://www.examiner.com/x-11955-Business-of-Being-Famous-Examiner~y2009m8d30-Why-are-white-people-so-lazy-Because-they-can-afford-to-be
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Jesus-jumped-up-Christ-in-a-chariot-driving-sidecar, would you learn to spell and punctuate correctly and stop butchering my language you ignorant piece of shit?
People like you shouldn’t be allowed to breed.
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Claire that bad mouth of you is just outragous. Please stop faking to be me. Its disgusting and awful and is slander against my person. It is probably very illgel and your to young for jail.
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Janice, it’s not me. I have already explained that I am proud enough of my Adam Nelson and JaniceFun imitations that I admit to doing so. But in this case, it’s not me. So calm the fuck down, you dumb ho.
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“I have ben to Canada and it very nice. I like Vancouver”
I have a place open now in my home for a young maid/sexual-need fulfiller.
I would be more than happy to accept a Canadian such as yourself for the job.
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Due to multiple supply and demand laws, it’s not impossible, just more expensive
Factoid 1: Mexicans out number Canadians by more than 3 to 1, so Canadians are at least 3 times more expensive.
Factoid 2: Canada is a huge country with a small population, they are too busy roaming the great wide opens to be cooped up in your McHovel cleaning up McDonalds wrappers. x2 in costs
Factoid 3: Canadians have better Healthcare and Educational system than the old USA. They can sit around doing nothing up in Canada and still be better off than what your offering. Not many Canadians would agree to clean up after you and your uneducated and dirty messes. You should hire one to edit your poorly written articles. x3 in costs
So for about $50 per day (Mexican price) multiplied by the factoids above, you are looking at about $400 per day to own a Canadian, a price that coincidentally, most Canadians would go for. But due to Americanization of Canada you can expect them to be as self centered and whiny as you are. They will also require alot of beer and at least 3 weeks paid holidays.
So.. on the cheap… The best thing you can do in acquiring a Canadian, Amber, is come to Canada and find a hardworking Canadian man to look after you, the women there are all very cold!!
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$400, beer and 3 weeks holidays that is cheap! My rates are $1000 a week, 4 bottles of wine, and 5 weeks holidays!
Gotta pay for the snowshoes when I go back to my 5 weeks holidays to Canada, need the 5 weeks because that is how long it will take me on my dog sled to get there and back and the wine, well… I can’t work as a housemaid for an American sober!!
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Wow, usually us Canadians aren’t offended by this typically American BS. However, I have never in my life read such load of arrogant & inconsiderate crap. Really, I’m still wondering if this is for real or not.
‘house mexicans’?
USA, its attitudes like this which make y’all so disliked.
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Your kidding right? What are you going to pay me with, your cheap american dollar? it doesnt even have pretty colors like my money, so shut up and work for me. your country is fat, you like to consume the world and think superiority was bestowed upon you cuz some of your folks like to die in combat against seemingly stupid odds. well listen here miss, canada is a nation of “thinkers”. oh yes, we are quite skilled in that department. however, when referred to as snow-bound savages, we can get quite mad, and turn into animals, and quite possibly invade and destroy your country. not even with weapons, but with the power of logical thinking. you will see how it is the canadians who crush 2000 years of culture.
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why should you be so made at america, just because we invented all the great inventions in the last 3 hundred years and saved the world from communism and hitler and terrorism. and how about all the money america makes for the rest of the world with our economy? and what does canada do? you have all that land up there and your never in the news for anything. its like a dead place. you people should be ashamed of yourself. you had all the advantges of the USA, a large white population and rich soil and all that as the USA did, but Canada amounted to nothing. your like the dimwit brother who is jealous becuase the other brother is rich and powerful and your still living back home sitting on the couch watching oprah or something. do they even have oprah in that awful country?
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America is a cultural vacuum full of obese people. Say that America amounts to something now that you’re in a recession and Canada is actually closing its borders to you filthy Americans. Please, America is based on hypocrisy and violence. You drove the Native-Americans into infertile soil and raped the Africans. Now that American dollars are basically toilet paper, you’re no longer the world’s most powerful country.
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What? When did Canada ever close it’s borders to Americans? I live about 30 minutes from the border…and most of the money our region makes comes from Americans. Also, the town I live in triples in size during the summer season, mostly due to all the Americans that have summer homes here.
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first of all, let me say i am not racist and i found the comments to be worst then the story itself, but i do see where people are coming from, if this was a joke, should have had some lol or haha in the end maybe, u can not “own” any person, unless ofcourse u order a mail order bride, and i dont even know if you would “own” them. if this is a christian website, perhaps you should monitor the comments before allowing them to be posted? you are making the christian religion look bad, dare i say… like the catholics? haha that was a joke, see.. the haha marked it as a joke. but if the mexican workers were getting paid 50 usd a day, look at how many pesos that would be, and god only knows how old this “amber” is, could have been over 20 years ago. i do not agree at all with what was being said, but the 50 usd they were getting, to care for children and clean up. is by far a better life then they had in mexico. that is why people take advantage of these illegals today, who are they going to tell? the BBB??? ha might as well call immigration on themselvs..
but yea, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
america is, and will always be most powerful country, and if we werent, it would be a close race. that canada would not want to compete in. you may be peacful people, and whatever else good u want to say about yourselfs. but the fact of the matter is, killing them with kindness, does not cut it in a war … oh yeaaaaa USD is toilet paper? well canada dollar is 3 cents more then usd?
but seriously, dont think all americans/canadians/mexicans are as stupid as these people commenting on this site,(not all of you) but you know who you are..
i hope i did not offend anybody as that was not my goal.. WE ALL BLEED THE SAME BLOOD, AND CRY THE SAME TEARS. WE ALL HAVE PAIN
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Umm… ALL the money America makes for the rest of the world? are you effing kidding me? If you recall, your economy went in the toilet before ours, ours went thanks to yours!
We don’t need to be on the news to get attention, thank you! Perhaps you don’t se us on the news because you are too narrow minded.
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Yes, you are right you helped save the world from Hitler. However, that was only after you cowardly sat on your asses while millions of people were slaughtered. America was a war profiteer during WWII and you should not feel pride in your WWII actions, you should feel shame. While other countries were out there fighting and dying to save the rest of the world from the greatest evil ever seen, your country was sitting back making weapons and selling them to other countries to make money. If not for the attack on western soil the US would have served little valiant action in WWII. However, I am not surprised that Americans love to say that they won the war, most countries are self congratulating, America is just more so than most.
You need not feel shame for the actions of your ancestors and their cowardice and profiteering during WWII, but you should never claim pride for American actions during WWII. When Canada was struggling to get out of the depression we still did what was needed.
Good-bye
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“a large white population”? Wow, talk about a racist comment for you. All I have to say is this: I am a Canadian who has moved to the US about a year ago. Obviously, Canada is still my home and Canadians are still my people. Canadians are kind, thoughtful, and polite people. We respect each other, are tolerant of all religions, races, genders, or anything else, and are a peaceful nation. You don’t see Canada landing itself into multiple wars, now do you? We are also healthier and have a society that is less about “consumerism” and more about “living, loving, and enjoying life”. America is known for being the land of the free, but I would have to disagree (from what I have personally seen). There is much segregation, racism, consumerism, and obesity here. Did you know that the population of poor in America is equal to the population of Canada? That is not something for Americans to be proud of.
Now, that said, I do enjoy living here. I have met many kind, friendly people. Americans are open and live life to its fullest (which is perhaps why many Americans have ended up with so much debt). I believe that Americans are determined people and despite all the underlying problems they have, they are “go-getters” and will find a way to get themselves out of the rut they have buried themselves in. They are determined people.
Canada and America both have good and bad. Canada does have freee healthcare for all, but it is not a healthcare system I am extremely proud of. Due to the fact that it is free, it tends to be quite a wait for you to have anything done. For example, I once broke my finger and waited 3 hours in emergency before I was seen.
Anyways, bottomline is, both of our countries are amazing places, and it’s citizens are proud of their origins. We are all equal in this world, and need to accept eachother for who we are! Now, please stop trying to be “superior”!
Proud to be Canadian!
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Firstly, you are stereotyping Americans, just as you are complaining about this article stereotyping Canadians so you are being a hypocrite. Secondly, you are insulting all those people who died in battle for something they believed in and all those families mourning the loss of a loved one. You are just proving that at least one Canadian is a DUMBASS!
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ha ha ha, u funny. does it cost extra to get one with your sense of humor?
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“my family was blessed to own three house Mexicans.”
Human beings are not possessions; you cannot “own” them. The correct thing to say would have been “my family was blessed to employ three house Mexicans”, or even better “three Mexican caretakers”.
“Though they did not speak much American, they still had hearts of gold”
Well it sure is a good thing that I have a heart of gold, because I don’t speak American either. In fact, I don’t know anybody who speaks American.
“At the end of the day, dad would give them a bit of money and usually some food or other nice things to take home with them.”
I certainly hope that he gave them a fair salary, not just “a bit of money”.
“There are liberals out there who are racist and hate Mexicans. They call them lazy, no good workers and have no sympathy for the way Mexico’s economy is failing them. Mexico is full of corrupt politicians who squander US aide money and ship it into their African-inspired drug cartels, and liberals create laws that make us give health-insurance to children born to Mexicans in our country, so we will have anger toward the Mexicans for using up our health care.”
Uh, last time I checked, it was you conservatives who were so adamant about closing the border.
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I read the full article, and she seems to address that point quite eloquently; we need to close off the Mexican border because their people have grown too corrupt. We should start taking labor from other more peaceful people, like the Canadians. Since they aren’t contributing anything of value really to our hemisphere, I’m all for that. It’d be pretty neat.
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Adam,
I always thought another good alternative, and one the article did not propose,
is taking Canada for ourselves and then relocating the Canadian people to Mexico.
This way, the Canadians would be tasked with pushing the Mexicans further south to live on large reservations such as Brazil.
This would be a win win for everyone, because we’d have some extra fine land,
the Canadians would finally have a chance to distinguish themselves by doing something useful for North America, and the Mexicans would no longer have to worry about dying of dehydration or barbed-wire wounds while crossing the border.
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That’s a really good idea. I’ve actually thought about how great the world would be if we just conquered it, and really wish Harry Truman would have nuked every single one of those savage Eastern European and Asian nations when we had the bomb. Western Europe would have just surrendered to us.
Now though, we’d have to wipe out quite a few countries before getting to conquer Canada in piece. It’d be easier just to tell them they can be a state and then, just invade Mexico to take the rest of our land down there. Venezuela too.
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It’s pretty sad that you consider yourself to be pro-life, yet you condone the total obliteration of millions of people, simply so that we can conquer their land. You are a threat to humanity, Adam, and I believe it would be in the best interest of the world if you were exterminated immediately.
p.s. I’m not kidding.
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good fucking luck. You’re military is yet to beat us in the annual NATO exercise in Cold Lake. Our regular officers are as well trained as your Rangers. I’m gonna go pray to Ull’r to snow your asses in
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Excuse me!!! What makes you think that Canadians would want to give up our land. We rightfully own that land and got it before you. I think that is a stupid uneducated idea that proves that you Americans are self centered and only care about yourselves. It’s not only Canadians that you are driving out, you are driving out the natives, who are the actual rightful owners who also were already driven out. That is a stupid idea, and you need to think about what you say.
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we’re americans remember? we don’t care about all your little problems. i want a fresh canadian, and i want mine now! you seem kinda firey, when do you go on the auction block?
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It seems like the Canucks are putting up a fight. That’s surprising- I thought they only fought in hockey games, when superior American teams destroy their pee-wee teams.
The best thing about this site is the comments section. I love that people get so angry about it and can’t quite figure out that this is satire. Of course, we wouldn’t expect a Canadian to understand that, eh?
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You mean your superior American hockey teams populated by Canadian players?
See, some Americans already own lots of Canadians, and they use them for winning hockey games. But we’re a lot more expensive than this article might lead you to believe.
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Come on, nobody watches hockey.
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realy? how much? not for the whole bunch, just a couple. they can be hockey players as long as they got at least one tooth. (i’ll need it when mi slaves holden my knitting yarn.) i’m waiting for your quote…
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Yeah, but what if the Canadians went on strike?
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Canada on strike!
Canada on Strike!
Canada!
Canada!
Canada!
Canada!
Canada on strike!
Canada says “no more!”
No more neglect! We want respect! That’s what we’re striking for!
All you bureaucrats and corporate cats can all just take a hike!
It’s Canada on strike!
Canada on strike!
From Vancouver to St. John’s,
We raise our middle fingers up for you all to sit upon!
And with our fingers up your ass you won’t be very psyched!
It’s Canada on strike!
And we will not bow or budge.
Our resolve is strong.
We even took three hours to rehearse this striking song!
Canada on strike!
No matter where you are!
If you are Canadian, than you’ve got do your part!
March out from the halls!
That’s right, suck my Canadian balls!
It’s Canada on strike!
It’s Canada on Strike!
It’s Canada on Strike!
It’s Canada
On Strike!
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Canada tried to go on strike once in Southpark.
Don’t any of you guys read your history??
And they all ended up nearly dying, with the fine people of Denmark coming over to try to take their place.
Finally the situation was solved when children convinced us to give them a little bit of gum and some coupons to make them think like the strike was meaningful.
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thats a cute song you should write country!!!
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I too, want to raise a mexican and keep him as a pet :3
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I would prefer an Asian guy
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Wow. And people wonder why I’m not a Christian.. O.o You speaking of “owning” PEOPLE, actual human beings, like you would speak of owning a parakeet or some other small annoying animal. How patronizing that a human life doesn’t mean more to you than that. You probably believe in bigamy, too.
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yes, all us christians are evil. are you availible for sale?
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0
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Are you seriously sick in the head? You fucking disgust me…. please PLEASE tell me this is a hilarious practical joke because I have never heard anything so idiotic and ignorant in my WHOLE life. You need to check yourself into a mental institution and get some help. really ok. I don’t know how you have survived in society without being beaten to death for your stupidity. I pray for you and I hope God has mercy on your pitiful soul.
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LOL!!!!!!! I can’t really believe how many of you seem to miss how unmistakably satirical this article is. Try googling “Why Can’t I Own A Canadian?” I hope you guys are all just kidding as well and I’m missing that, because if not… hahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahaha owned.
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This was very clearly done for the lulz, and you all just got trolled hard.
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This is a satire… right???
I hope it is…because if you are for real…. *sighs*
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is that a joke? seriously? are you stupid?
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1) is it satire, because, if it is, then i think it’s really quite a good one. if it is, disregard the following.
2) most americans are stupid.
3)i’m english, and i’ve never heard of “american” i don’t know anyone who can speak it.
4) the british healthcare and education system must be better than yours, because i am fifteen, have never had an illness or injury that hasnt been treated, and i can explain all this in a succint and lucid fashion without any spelling mistakes or nonsensical wittering.
5) if you have a problem, my e-mail address is: jakemoore1994@live.co.uk
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1) Yes, duckie, it is satire. And I will not disregard your further notes, as most of them were very rude.
2) By not realizing this is satire, you contradict your own stupidity argument. Thank you for being ignorant and ironic!
3) Again, see above: satire.
4) On the healthcare system: I am sixteen and, as an American, have never had an illness or injury that has not been treated, so therefore I trump your argument by a year. On education: I doubt the value of your education as well as your ability to “explain in a succint and lucid fashion without any spelling mistakes”, especially as in that very statement you made a spelling error–it’s “succinct”, not “succint”. In addition, your post was riddled with grammatical errors and you seem to have discarded capitalization altogether. So please, darling, drop the superior air…it doesn’t work for you.
4) Sorry if I seem rude, but I really am tired of the America-hating. My best friend is a Canadian, and she is the one who directed me to this article because she found it hilarious. As an American, I can say that almost every generalization made on these comments is untrue (and, for the record, neither I nor anyone in my family is obese…in fact, there is probably one kid who is obese in my highschool of 1,000).
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I’m not so sure that this is actually satire.
yes, it has the key characteristics of satire, but it just doesn’t have the spirit. Usually satires are written by intelligent and literate people who are trying to make a point, where the presentation is logical but the argument is ridiculous. This leads me to believe that it was written by a shitty writer that tried and failed at writing convincing satire, or a moron who sincerely believes everything they wrote. Either way, it’s crap. So don’t get so worked up over it.
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What do you mean? She does make a point.
The author is representing the flawed beliefs that the media would lead one to hold towards Mexicans. Sarcasm is hard to tell on the internet, yes, but in this article it is very obvious. Her “argument” is basically to go back to the “good ‘ol days of slavery”, which can be nothing less than satire–and her flawed-logic presentation is amusing. If we can’t have Mexicans, then why not Canadians? And to call Canadians “snowbound savages”?
This is very clearly a joke. I thought it was hilarious, as did my Canadian friend.
But it wasn’t the satire argument I was “getting worked up over.” The previous poster insulted me, my family, and everyone I know. Making generalizations of “americans are stupid” is very ignorant and unacceptable, and I called her out on it. I have every right to be offended by that, so there is no need to be condescending.
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So, first off, I didn’t say anything about your post specifically, besides arguing it’s either not satire or it’s badly written satire (but if you enjoy it, good for you). so, if “it wasn’t the satire argument (you were) getting worked up over”, why are you flipping out about me suggesting it’s possibly not satire?
Some of you internet folks are so angry, you’ll find some angle that allows you to act hurt, indignant, or self righteous. Cuz, if you’d bother to read the text before attacking it you’d notice I was saying the article is crap, not your response to the snobby brit (which I found amusing). But now that you mention it….
1)see previous post
2) many Americans are stupid. blame it on lead poisoning, inbreeding, close mindedness, or poor education, but this is a commonly help idea. These problems exist elsewhere, but for some reason Americans are the ones who get picked on the most (could have something to do with the redneck population). Possibly in fact because there are some people in America who are still OK with slavery.
3) People describe their language as “American” because they’re either stupid, or trying too hard to sound stupid (this makes for bad satire)
4) I’m so glad you’re healthy! It probably has something to do with how your parents can afford to take you to the doctor. Maybe they even used they’re hard earned money to make sure you grew up somewhere with good schools, where you learned to read and write like a pro (though, your should work on your comprehension). Many children in America aren’t so lucky, that’s why so many people on here can’t spell (someone one here even spelled illiterate wrong. i don’t think they meant to be ironic either). But at least American schools teach the same self-righteousness and arrogance as Jake’s school in Britain.
4)Why are there two 4’s?! I’m so confused. Anyway, good thing you’re family’s not obese. Neither is mine. Again, this probably has to do with the fact that we can both afford fresh vegetables. As for everyone below the poverty line (and right now, there’s a lot of people), all they can afford is things of the dollar menu at McDonald. When someone says Americans are fat, it’s a fact not an opinion. A study in Texas showed that 42% of 4th graders were overweight (this doesn’t just mean pudgy, it means nearing unhealthy levels). Weight-wise, we’re way above the world-wide average.
5) I think Jake’s just lonely, which is why he tries to get a rise out of people and even leaves his email. He just wants someone to talk to. You’re both so angry. You should email him and become bestest friends! Then you can get married, and have healthy, non-obese, grammatically correct, babies! You’ll have to teach them the arrogance and defensiveness though, I don’t think that’s genetic.
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If you get to own Canadians, the teenage Canadian girls get to masturbate.
(For those who missed it, Amber here gave some lovely advice saying masturbation is another form of pornography)
I find it hard to believe this is Satire, given the other bullshit these nutters see fit to post
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ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!
I really and truly hope that this article is a joke, because even if it’s not intended to be a joke, it still is one. Honestly? Is that what Christians in America think or is it just this nutjob? You CANNOT OWN people. Sorry, isn’t going to happen. I quite honestly am disgusted by this, and think that the author of this article is in need of psychiatric evaluation as well as anyone who agrees with her.
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OMG! Please tell me your not serious! I’m 15 years old and I can clearly see that there is so much wrong with this article! How can you own a fellow human being? Would you liked to be ‘owned’ simply because someone had more money than you? And why do you think your so damn good just because your American? Please have a think about these things then try writing a fair politically correct artcle than considers the feelings of other people!
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Burn in hell, you goddamn racist motherfucking bibtch
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Pardon me?? but we Canadians and other non-americans are not put on this earth to be OWNED by Americans, please do get over yourselves!!
Perhaps while I savagely come spend my hard earned dollar in your country, as you so eloquently put it, you come to Canada and come be a slave in my home!!!
What a ignorant article. This just proves why Americans are not respected as people.
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i am so embarrassed to be canadian after seeing this. I thought this article was hilarious but it was even better when i scrolled down to the comments and everyone is offended. also, when you’re calling someone retarded try and spell it right…..it kind of makes you look like a complete dumbass…..good joke whoever did this, i forgot your name
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wtf is this. this is the reason most of this world hates America. Cause they think they’re totally awesome and can kick everyone’s ass, and think everyone else is less important then them, and go around being the police/bully of the world. Well how about Vietnam u idiots!! U lost! Then u supplied terrorists with weapons in the Soviet Afghan war, and now ur ass and ur allies (yes u idiots somehow have allies) are getting ur asses killed with ur own weapons!!!!!!!!!!
And this websites servers should get blown up!!
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“What a ignorant article. This just proves why Americans are not respected as people.”
Is it just me, or is it ironic that people say something about how stupid Americans are for thinking they’re better than the rest of the world and then they follow up with something about why they’re better? Mello, you’re doing the exact same thing you accuse delusional Americans of doing.
As if a Canadian never wrote or said anything ignorant or conceited? Perhaps judging an entire country based on a specific sect of thought would fall under that category. Or, maybe, missing the point that this was a complete satire would qualify? And, reality check, Canadians aren’t exactly at a low in the obesity ratings, and not all American’s are fat, rude and ignorant. Joking about cultural differences is one thing––judging is another thing completely. Others who assume that their countries are more cultured and educated than others might be right in some cases, but I can guarantee you that idiots and thieves exist wherever you go. So maybe you should get over yourselves. I’m not always proud of the things America does/has done, but don’t lump people into one category if you don’t want the same done to you.
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Well, I’m a Canadian and I would love to be “owned” by a specific American. If Tom Welling would like me, he can have me:)
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wow, i hope this article is a joke. but im worried that this article, and this site as a whole, is not a joke. this sight makes me embarrassed to be an american; fkin rednecks
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I really hope this is a joke… but it wouldnt surprise if some of the people here identify themselves with the thoughts expressed on the article: blind conservatism is the worst political stance ever
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Who would want to own a Canadian? I’d rather own a black instead, at least they’re actually worth something.
Canadians are indeed the niggers of the white race, useless, pansy ass, weak little piss ants who’ve never contributed anything to this society in any part or whole. Why we continue to allow that half of OUR continent to go to waste under the so called rule of those cretins is beyond me. The U.S. really should do something about that, we should reclaim all that space and put it to better use other than something than the landfill it’s become.
And what’s the old saying, jealousy gets you nowhere? Time to face the fact that U.S.A is number one and always will be and if any of you draw a breath each morning it’s thanks due in part to the blanket of protection we provide. Now we could just as easily eradicate your impoverished, pathetic, sorry little excuse for a county past the point of oblivion with just the press of a few buttons if we really wanted to but seeing as how we seem to be the only true nation on the face of this continent with citizens that actually possess courage we’ve obviously have better things to do with our time fighting all the battles and conflicts that you and your so called nation are too frightened to get involved in. Somebody had to step up and make this part of the world safe for democracy because you sure as hell couldn’t do it.
Canada never has to worry about terrorism because you aren’t perceived as a threat to terrorist, your ugly little land mass has no value whether it be intrinsic, military or otherwise. However even if a terrorist attack were to occur chances are it would never come to fruition due to the fact that once the terrorist saw the RCMP and Dudley fucking Do-Right on his horse they would probably laugh themselves to death thus ending the threat.
Out of all the nations on the face of this planet yours is the most laughable and is possibly the subject of more ridicule second only to France. If the U.S. and Iran do share one common ground it’s that both sides probably know some really good Canadian jokes. I see now why the French take up residence there, a home away from home and surrounded by pussies just like them. You probably stink like them too.
I’ve wasted enough of my time and hopefully at least one of you can read so in closing I would suggest you learn to start being a little more thankful not to mention respectful. There’s going to come a time when talk is through and our patience is at an end.
God help you when that day comes
Your replies will not be read.
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God, I hope you’re a troll…
It’s the people who a) don’t realize this site is satirical and b) AGREE with the points of view put forward here that really scare me…
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This shit is fucking hysterical.
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The only thing is that I wooldn’t want canadians shifting there values onto my children. we have enough of that antiamerican garbage from msnbc, cnn, obama, and seseme street just two name a few.
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Good point, Scott. They’d probably try and push their commie healthcare on us even more than Hussein is. As we know, the dirty mexicans don’t have any values, so that is definitely a positive to owning one of them over a canadian.
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bad idea. I owned a few and they are lazy! Always sleeping and eatin tacos. Suckers wanted $50 a week! Each! Damn leberals got to em first I bet! Made em all into gayrods! total ripoff! Save your money for guns and fried pork rinds. Dont wasteit on lazy gay leberal mexicans!
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True. It’s a sad state of affairs, ever since we lost them negroes to the Goddamn Sibil Rights movement. They were good workers. Where does one go these days to find some good, hard-working minorities to own? Lord, I miss the 1800’s.
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okay first.. idk why u guys are fin around with mexicans… what in the hell did we do to you….??? one we give you bomb ass food.. two we do all the dam jobs yo u” americans” dont want to … 3 because you guys are aperently ” the best in the world” is because of all of the other countries in the dam world saving you ass…. trust me.. if it wernt for france and all the other countries, there would be no suck thing called land of the free…
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Hell Yes! I love Mexicans. Kick-ass late night taco-truck madness, sexiest damn women around, turn ghetto’s into livable places… Don’t worry bro, anyone living en los Estados Unidos has mad love or is retarded. I wouldn’t want to live in the US without Mexicans. Canadians do kinda suck tho.
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Don’t forget now, as in all major empires the citizens grow fat, lazy and stupid. Just as in Rome with their vomitoriums and gladitorial games Americans too dine, then shit, dine then shit, all the while watching a homo erotic display of affection that is known as “UFC”. One guy on the mat, with his legs lovingly wrapped around his gay lover, the man on top thrusting into his lover with ease, yesss Americans have discovered that old world charm of homosexuality, is there such a thing as a straight American male?
So yes do continue having others do your chores for you, fight your wars, etc. It will be so much easier for them to take over your broke ass nation.
Isn’t it romantic?
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Yer one of them sarcatsicks, aren’t yeh? I heard about people like you in Bible Study.
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No you didn’t, because I am descended from Viking nobility, and vikings were not in that part of the world at that time. You would although have heard about my kind from your ancestors when we ransacked your barns and ravished your women.
I prefer the rigorous debate of Classical Athens any day to the dogmatic principles of the Bible. I mean you take a book that clearly shows your god telling his flock to rampage through the desert killing innocents, and stealing women. That’s the code of conduct you follow?
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A Viking, Eh? Well, THAT explains alot. Never thought I’d receive a lecture about raping, murdering and stealing from a Sea Demon. Hippocrit much? How many villages has your tribe raided and women raped in the last month?
I especially look forward to laughing in Heaven with the Cherubs, Angels, Jesus and Ronald Reagan as we watch you, boiling away in the firey lakes of Hell, as we sit back, drinking apple cider while St. Patrick plays “Amazing Grace” on his Irish Flute and we debate over how long it will take for Homowood to do a remake of that Satanic Harry Potter series so that mister John Kevin Rowling can make another trillion dollars to fund his afterlife in Hell.
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Did you know that Amazing Grace was written by a slave owner??? Do you really believe slave holders would be granted entrance into Heaven??? My my you spelled “hypocrite” wrongly as well. Let us see how many women Christian husbands accused of being witches just so they could get remarried??? Now how many millions of innocent natives were slaughtered by Christian soldiers, hmmmm. If I’m correct, it was your “Christian nation” that used an atomic bomb on a completely defenseless civilian populace, how many dead there? If you care for a body count, Christian murders would stack all the way up to Heaven. What a bloody stairway to Heaven that would be.
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“Did you know that Amazing Grace was written by a slave owner??? Do you really believe slave holders would be granted entrance into Heaven??”
Don’t you be trashing the slave-owners. They were just claiming their rightful place on the foodchain – a place that will hopefully be reclaimed once we get Sarah Palin into the WHITE House in 2012.
“Let us see how many women Christian husbands accused of being witches just so they could get remarried???”
There wives were whores who worshipped and fornicated with Satan, so those husbands had every right to want to remarry.
“Now how many millions of innocent natives were slaughtered by Christian soldiers”
I don’t now to which “natives” you refer, but if they were heathens of Satan, as most natives are, then it was a just, and noble thing our Christian soldiers did by ridding the world of such filth.
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Some of these things were actually pretty funny but most were really really offensive, i’m american and a lot of things make me not so proud to b one but i still accept it because i was born here…some people on here are so rediculously cruel and heartless that i wonder how it’s possible…this also disgraces all the christians out there who this gives a bad reputation…real christians wouldn’t put racist things on here much less ask why they can own a canadian…
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As a Canadian, you have to be extra vigilant. There are a lot of impostors out there. If you suspect that someone is falsely trying to pass themselves off as a Canadian, make the following statement – and then carefully note their reaction:
“Last night, I cashed my pogey and went to buy a mickey of C.C. at the beer parlour, but my skidoo got stuck in the muskeg on my way back to the duplex. I was trying to deke out a deer, you see. Damn chinook, melted everything. And then a Mountie snuck up behind me in a ghost car and gave me an impaired. I was S.O.L., sitting there dressed only in my Stanfields and a toque at the time. And the Mountie, he’s all chippy and everything, calling me a “shit disturber” and what not. What could I say, except, “Sorry, EH!”
If the person you are talking to nods sympathetically, they’re one of us. If, however, they stare at you with a blank incomprehension, they are not a real Canadian. Have them reported to the authorities at once.
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what are you gay?
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My,my,my…..can you even READ the Bible?,because you truly sound illerate! Now go and try to finish grade3!
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Tracey it sounds like you need to go read the bible. then when you finish get down on your hands and knees and pray for forgiveness.
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Sure. As soon as you’re done on your hands and knees blowing your pastor.
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I believe you are confusing us with Catholics, sun.
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You’re all the same.
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Now who’s the narrow-minded one?
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Onward Christian soldier. This is the face of your demon.
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http://photos1.blogger.com/photoInclude/x/blogger/7114/258/1600/109325/f641c5k2.jpg
This site didn’t post that pic properly.
I reiterate, one demon a Christian “cleansed” from Japan.
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I see we have a lot of lucifer’s army on here today. well we Christians are going to do some devil busting and get Sarah Palin in the White House in 2012.
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Of course! I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before. I know which “race” we can inslave next, since the wetbacks are too lazy, the blacks might not be able to return to their productive ways after returning to ownership, and the Canadians are just downright annoying!
The Japanazis and the Chinasians! We NOW there not lazy, in fact those little oompa loompas are even more productive than the blacks were before they’re fall from slavery.
I don’t no what I was thinking, except that I’m just so used to not thinking them as human (since their only like 30-40 perecent human, this was a natural oversite on my part). This solves everything!
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you’re fucked dude.
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OH MY FUCKING GOODNESS!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE MOST IDIOTIC GROUP OF PEOPLE I’VE EVER SEEN!!!!!!! I’M AN AMERICAN AND I KNOW THIS IS NOT HOW NORMAL PEOPLE BEHAVE!!! EVERYONE WHO SAID SOMETHING RACIST NEEDS TO GO TO A MENTAL INSTITUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DANG, WTF MAN, WTF!!! WE AMERICANS NEED TO RESPECT OTHER NATIONS!!! I DON’T EVEN WANT TO SPEAK ENGLISH ANYMORE JUST BECAUSE OF YOU PEOPLE!!! ICH HASSE DICH! I HATE PEOPLE LIKE YOU! I HOPE YOU ALL BURN IN HELL, BECAUSE YOU ARE THE MOST IDIOTIC AND MOST RACIST GROUP OF PEOPLE I’VE EVER MET!
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You might want to get them turrets checked out there, sun.
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We are going to be taking back our country in 2012 when we get Sarah into the White House. We have to bring down lucifers army. That army includes, liberals, gays, pro abortionists, animal rights wackos, and environments wackos. Now you need to go pray for forgiveness.
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You will ned more than 6 votes to get Palin in presidency she got less than 6 vote last time and I don’t think that EX Russian territory ALASKA governor will be governor hopefully because a civil wars will occur in USA
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They has medications for them this days.
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So this site do be satirical right?
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Is Shaquanda an afro name?
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To the author,
Honestly, who is going to be won over with this drivel? What’s the target here? What’s the objective?
It seems like your goal is to convince the general population, in the form of readers, that ignorant individuals with radically neo-imperialistic ideals are an unpleasant inclusion in our society. Way to go! You convinced all of everyone. Wait, wait… all but the most extreme outliers in our population already thought that! Oops, looks like you accomplished nothing with this.
I’d rather not comment on the sobering fact that a large portion of readers, at least those who felt it necessary to reply, didn’t grasp this as being satire, unconcealed (and uninspired) as it was.
I almost find myself wondering, did I miss a key subtext in your post? I can nearly see it parodying the efforts of those legitimately trying to discredit values such as the ones you “expressed.” Hopefully, it is, in fact, just a light-hearted parody, having been created in good nature to poke fun at satires written in similar veins, simply for the purpose of entertainment. If this is not the case, which I sincerely do not believe it is, then it is simply another vacuous waste of text littering a forum. I’m curious if you put any more time into composing this rant than the obtuse readers you inflamed put into smashing their faces on their Caps Lock keys in reply to it.
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I am Canadian and instead of owning us why not the Russians? you could probably wip them into shape, and after them go after china they reproduce like fucking rabbits so getting good hired help shouldn’t be too hard to ‘weed out’ the assholes and the ones that do not obey.
because as its been said before there are just not enough Canadians for the American population (1/10), and the Americans wont shut up about the cold so they might as well bypass us and go for the selected targets noted above.
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seriously? you truly think you owned mexicans? you’re a wanker
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EXCEUSE ME!?! “ALL the lesser Americas to come visit us to work as well. Canada is a country full of snow-bound savages who are good at chopping wood and light industrial tasks.” I am Canadian and we are not a ‘lesser Americas’ Canada is just as developed country as USA and a way better place to live if you ask me. Neither are we ’snow-bound savages’. And you call yourself a Christian? I know that we should not take the speck out of our neighbors eye without taking the log out of my own, and I am not saying that I don’t have many of my own faults. But to call other human beings savages? To me, that was very insulting. We are not a poor foreign people as you say, some of us have lots of money and nice things and some of us don’t, just like in your country. It also ruffled me the wrong way that you refereed to it as ‘owning’. I don’t know how old you are, but in my lifetime USA and Canada have been slave-owning free the entire time. If somebody works for you, its called an employee. And you are their boss, but you do not own them. Like a nanny or a maid, but you do not own them, and should not say you do. Anyways, before I really begin to rant and get upset I will stop. Just wanted to let you know what I thought of your thoughts.
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Hahahaha… this article is too funny. The ironic thing is that I’m a Canadian and I’m a recent MA Economics grad and was trying to Google ‘Why can’t I get a job’, and I only got to “Why can’t I’ and this came up, so I had to check it out!
Thanks for helping me with my problem; I’ve been looking on monster and workopolis, when I should have been offering myself up to my southern, skating-impaired, war-loving cousins (c’mon, I’m allowed to throw a little ribbing back aren’t I?).
So when do I start?
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kudos on your sense of humor.
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Haha, this is all moderately funny…I my self am Canadian, and seeing as how anyone needing to post on here would require a computer, that not everyone is as crazy as to think this article serious. Yes I would like to capitalize on the previous points above to the irony that each calls the other ignorant about thinking themselves better then the other, and then hypocriticaly saying they live in the better country. It’s all truly a matter of opinion but I would hope to change the minds of the fanatic nationals on each side to say that both countries, and even Mexico too now that I think about it, to whom so ever lives there, is the better place. Besides Each nation has its own fundamental source of pride, and I would bid the American nationalists not to egocentrize on their military, because yes it is larger, and yes that would be the reason we don’t need an army. However you must realize that the entire population of Canada could fit into the militant sectors of the American economy, so please don’t hark on us for being pacifists. As well Canadian nationalists, stop judging the entire of the U.S. by the religious psychopaths that use this site. The people I met in Seattle were very nice people…a little bit juiced up on the starbucks on every corner but I think thats just cause it was Seattle…Free Rights for all and to all a good night!
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Reasons why Canadians are better and should not be owned: 1) we are the second largest country in the world 2) We Beat Americans in every War we had!
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French and Indian war??
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Okay…there is a slight difference between healthy national rivalry, and the beginnings of a supreme-nationalistic war. It’s a good thing both countries politicians are to busy doing nothing to read any of this…To Ryan though point 1) Lets hope Quebec doesn’t seperate so we can keep that title, unless the U.S. is looking to trade off Alaska. Point 2)The only time we have ever been “at war” with the U.S. was sort of before Canada was a country so…I’m not saying we didn’t win but, it’s not like they lost either seeing as we STILL hold the same border. Although we may have had the Alaskan pan handle along the B.C. coast if it wasn’t for the Brits…
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You stupid bitch, you cannot own any, no one. This site is an insult to Hispanics and i think you should go jump of a building.
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are you kidding me? what a stupid article! own canadians are you serious? too bad most americans are broke peices of shit that are too stupid to handle a mortgage and caused the worst recession in us history. canadians would never work for americans you are so ignorant to everything around you. canada is a much better country than america, when was the last time someone attempted and completed a terrorist attack in canada??? WWII? good try though. you are just a nother stupid american, i cant wait till you all start working for hispanics and you are their little bitches. go fuck yourself
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This has to be a joke! We speak English, not American. Own “house Mexicans”? Only fifty dollars a day for their families? Immense riches? Who’s idea of a sick joke is this? I love my country, and I am a Christian. I will not apologize for that. But THIS is why other countries hate us. Who even thinks this is funny? What makes them think this is okay? ALL people are created equal. No one is better than their neighbor. God loves everyone and doesn’t give preferential treatment, which is how we should be. Salvation is a choice, not preferential treatment. To anyone who was offended by this, I hope you can forgive whoever did this and realize that not all Americans have this mindset. We aren’t any better. Some of us actually work hard and sacrifice. We aren’t all lazy, fat, self-righteous good-for-nothings who think that we’re the only ones to do any influential work. Almost ALL work is influential and importan. I say almost, because there are illegal “jobs” that people work. That’s all.
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first are you southerner I guess No because its seems all the writers who put biased stupid and wrong article are from southern states in USA hopefully Northern USA are withj the rest of the world and HOPEFULLY if the southern states want to wages wars against the entire world we will have the support of the Northern states and anyway without the support of the southern states it’s easy to kick some farmer’s ass with Pitchfork who still think they are in 1600
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Have you tried your own medicine? It can help to treat your ignorance.
Why can’t I own a dumb Christian American bigot? By golly if they are Christian then they are gullible enough to do slave labor. What’s more, if they are ignorant enough to embrace racist beliefs then they probably are not capable, and shouldn’t be allowed, to hold any real professional role that involves interacting with other decent human beings. Friends lets all go to the South, or any place rural where people hide in fear and ignorance, and find some extremely dumb Christians who speak in tongues, the same tongues they will use to clean our toilets.
Mmmmm tastes good doesn’t it?
This is an attempt to illustrate that humor can be offensive. Even if Amber is trying to use satire, the fact that she would perpetuate such disgusting thoughts by publishing them online, is disgusting to anybody with an ounce of intelligence and compassion.
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ah! PLEASE tell me this article is a joke! this is ridiculous, Canadians are not “lesser americans”, they work a lot harder than our country does. you cannot OWN ANYONE. i am a christian and this scared me to death!
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Thank you, Jordan, for (1) stating that you are a Christian and (2) understanding the danger that that letter represents. It is not a joke. At best, it is a sad statement, made in earnest, by someone from the right side of the river who was raised by people who did not know any better. At worst, it is an disingenuous piece, writing by intelligent sadists. I can’t imagine why — it is dense enough to make Christians appear wrong, but sincere enough to infect the masses with a very bad idea.
Either way, Amber needs to be told something: Owning people is a sin. It always has been. It is not an “opening your presents before Christmas” sin. It is a “Burn in Hell” sin. Here is the only path to atonement for such a sin: try to understand why it is a sin. If you committed (or, God forbid, promoted) this sin in ignorance, try to understand why it is a bad thing. If you can’t discern the good advice from the insults in response to your original posting, try posting some direct questions. Above all, be patient. With any sin, you will find a lot of hot tempers when discussing it. If you eventually do come to understand why owning people is a sin, you can help others by explaining it to them. This is the hard work that we need to do, in God’s name. It may not make us feel powerful or sexy or like we just won something, but it is what we need to do, nonetheless.
You can do it.
One last thing: Mexico is on an American continent.
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canada did visit America once. We did so as a nation. Normally we don’t bring this up but I’m gonna go ahead and drop this bomb.
Do you know why the White House is white?
I’ll tell y’all. In 1812 the Colonies that would soon become Canada and The young republic of America went to war. During this conflict we razed the White House. That is we lit that bitch on fire! It was quickly repainted white to hide the damage while we marched back to Quebec. vic-fucking-torious. That’s why, to this day we are seperate countries.
Go to Westpoint and look it up. you *insert really mean and offensive expletive here*
With love and resptect,
Ben
by the way…. go fuck yourself
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Please tell me this article is a joke.
Because if it is, it’s hilarious.
Then again, even if it’s not, it’s still hilarious…
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BAHAHAHAHAH is Amber making fun of George W. Bush? bahahahah i love it
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I love this site.Even though some commenters tell you this site is satire it just goes right by.I had to stop reading the comments for a few minutes several times because my sides were hurting when I laughed so hard.Keep it coming.
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To repeat what so many other posters have queried: is this a joke? If so, it is moderately funny, albeit in bad taste. If not…you are a dumb bitch.
peace
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Really? I came to this site by accident, but can’t resist speaking. There is a point being made in the article. It’s not anti-canadian. It’s not ugly american. It’s not better-than-mexican. It’s that the bible is hypocritical. It’s anti-christian. If you want to make an argument against the article, argue theologically. If you can’t see that maybe you should live with your momma. She could do your laundry and cook for you.
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HAHA this is hillarious/terrible!! I am a canadian looking to purchase an american, prefferably one with a normal BMI, any suggestions? I can pay you guys in cheese burgers right? you might have to get used to Tim Hortons if im going to keep you relatively in shape. If you sustain any injuries shoveling snow out of my igloo driveway you can borrow my care card and instead of paying thousands of dollars you will have to wait a few hours to get fixed up…Personally i always thougt that was a good trade off but hey, i guess you cant appreciate what you don’t have. Dont worry about bringing a jacket i have plenty of those, i will even let you borrow one of my touques but only cuz im nice. PS WE TOTALLY DO GET OPRAH but we are too busy playing in the snow to watch it.
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OH EM JEE THAT IS EFFING HILARIOUS!!!!! I am sober and I am giggling like I just smoked a blunt. And the posts after the story are awesome too.
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I know us canadians are so darn cute but you have to understand we would not be able to survive in th US. Why you ask? Well because not enough people speak canadian, no inebwould understand our polite ways, with out us our igloos will melt, we would never be able to get used to the fact that it only snows during winter and at someplaces no snown then, we would miss our free health care and we wouldn’t get our daily serving of moose meat. Also though we may look cudlwley we have burned down the whight house once we can do it again!!
Love your canadian friend!!
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i dont friggin care if this is a joke. Canadians are people. you dont see us wanting to make SLAVES out of americans now do you!!!! im sure america as a whole is very kind and caring and full of integrity. but clearly that is not the case for you. what is it with you that makes you dislike all other nations?? china and canada alike. There are people out amber. People who arn’t full of ignorance. LEARN SOMETHING FROM THEM.
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I think that ppl from canadia deserv 2 b our workers cuz they wer the last colonie and dont deserv 2 b part of america… but they can work for us if the liek 2, i mean at least that way they can help the ppl who maid a cuntry that matters rite? this article maeks sense 2 me
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Fuck all you faggots who say that the US is better than Canada Canada is better than the US in every way and we’d fucking wipe you out in a war without even breaking a sweat, our people are better our military’s better our economy’s better our women are better our environment is better all you US fucks are pieces of shit who can go suck on your nigger president’s cock
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I am going to assume that this is a satire because if this were real, I would have to shoot myself in the head, repeatedly, to end my shame at living in the same country as this person.
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Wow, people still think and talk like this in 2010!!! Backward, uneducated, sick.
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HAHAHAHA, I can’t believe everyone’s taking this JOKE so seriously.
Tards.
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racist holy bible basher
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Mm. Taco hugs.
What would my Canadian hugs smell like? Snow?
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@B Tim Horton’s doughnuts or maybe poutine. Mmmm cheese curds.
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All of you who take these articles seriously and get up on your high horse and prance around on the comments section, go fuck yourself and die. This whole website is sarcastic. It’s like the Colbert Report. They’re using extreme religious and political views to actually send the opposite message. Of course if you dipshits know what the Colbert Report is I probably just blew your fucking minds because you had no idea he wasn’t actually a hardcore christian conservative. He’s in fact an actor who plays a spoof of Bill O’Reilly and the show actually has a slightly liberal lean your probably never picked up on. So basically I hate every one of you dumb motherfuckers who can’t take a joke and got offended by this. Oh, and if your super offended message was actually you being sarcastic then you got me, you clever bastard, you. One more point I just thought lf, if the people who manage this website were actually this batshit crazy do you really think they wouldn’t delete all the messages that express an idea that is different from theirs?
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I just found this by typing in why and seeing what came up. 1. You cant own a canadian because you dipshit… YOU CANT OWN PEOPLE. Its against the law, and its just morally wrong. Also, im pretty shure that you are a racist bitch with absolutely no friends. We have mexican people that come to clean our house and they have never stolen anything, even cash that they find on the floor they put it on a table for us. You cant just say that an entire race is all bad. Also, you should know this, i have never met you and hopefully never will but FUCK YOU. I HATE YOU
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Clearly, this site is composed and administered by idiots, who need as much attention as possible, including negative attention. We, the viewers of such a corrupt website, know that the creators are racist, unintelligent, anti-religious (observe the text), dimwitted, rude, ignorant, etc. The quantity of negative characteristics are endless! Anyways, now facing the truth about this corrupt site that we know of, we must “boycott” such a corrupt and evil site. By this, I mean, quit posting “comments”, sending questions, hatemail, etc. To do this= one less corrupt website= a more secure and suitable internet. This site does not promote proper faith and christian religion in any ways; and you, the viewers, know it. Look around this site; view the unacceptable content of the articles, and think if you want to deliver attention to these dimwits. Amber, you are an imbecile!
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I am sorry for earlier. I now admit im a stupid fat ass who spends more times on my hands and knees blowing balls than i do standing up. my gramier is atroceyous and i love eating. i spend most of my tyme trolling on the internet cause no one likes me at all. when i was born my parents threw me out a window cause i was such a fucking bitch. so dont get mad at me. im just a stupid mother fucking ball blowing cat huffing stupid son of a bitch.
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sigh….
If only you’d have added that creepy-as-hell pic, that would have been more amusing…
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Also they used the correct form of “threw.” But other than those small details, a decent impersonation. Hehe.
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I would like you to know that pretty much everything you have said about canadian’s is sooooo bullshit. I can’t belive that you would even think down about your northern neighbours. YOU ARE A stupid american who only can think about yourself. you should realize that those mexicans who cleaned your house are 10 times the humans you americans are. WHY CAN”T I OWN AN AMERICAN???? BECUASE YOU WORTHLESS FAT PIECES OF SHIT. I WOULD NOT OWN AND AMERICAN IF YOU GAVE ME ONE FOR FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LAZY FAT SACKS OF SHIT.
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Um….guys…there’s a little thing called satire that you may have learned in junior level English. This is a good example of it. While I know that not all, for lack of a better term, religious people are closed-minded to the point of arrogance, some are and they make a bad name for everyone else. Practice your Faith, shut up and leave the rest of us alone.
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I laughed my ass off. It’s amazing where the internet will take you.
Thanks Amber.
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OH and more thing….. DId u realize that Obama, “the worlds leader” IS BLACK YOU DUMM ASS BITCH!! adn now because of african americans, “black” people, ahah americans are now scared of them!!!! hahah nice job with the slavery thing!! thats what you called in pinche marricon
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you guys… (sigh) this is obviously a joke.
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ok, not only is this article a joke, it is poking fun at Americans. It’s called satire, not sure if you guys have that up in the snow north of the border.
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You say that the liberals are racist, but did you ever stop and think “Hmm, maybe this whole fucking thing is racist to Mexicans and Canadians” You can’t own someone, dipshit. You write this like you think you are superior to other nationalities. I try to accept other people’s religions but you’re making it REALLY hard for everyone. Suck a dick.
Livvi
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Owning people is not as cute and handy as you think. It’s actually more commonly referred to as “slavery”. And as I recall, it’s frowned upon by civilization.
And by the way, Canada’s economy is in much better shape than ours. I think the better option here is for Americans to go and sell themselves to Canada so they can afford simple things, like healthcare.
Maybe if your family hadn’t “bought” those Mexican laborers, you might have been able to afford grammar lessons.
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Wow. The oblivious hordes never fail to impress.
Unless the serious – and incredibly stupid – replies are clever trolling ..
I don’t like how The Internet tends to lean toward ‘One Big Joke.’
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You so called Christians concern me.
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You are fucking retarted. First of all who in the right mind would even speak about people that way, dumbass ignorant people like you are the reason we dont have wise people in the U.S. You live so far up your ass that you dont open you eyes to see things the way they are, wake up asshole and see the other side. How many “mexicans” are not being successful out there, taking prolly you opportunity to do something in life; this people are determined and eventually will be granted and awarded their hard work. Everyone always speaks about the bad things of the situation but they dont take the time to analyze and wisely think about the situation in which our country is in. If it wasnt for “mexicans” our economy would be diminished, the beauty of the diverstiy of our country would mean nothing; and we would be surrounded by dumbass ignorant people like you, who post bull shit on the internet. Wake up loser, with this kind of stupidity; you wont get anywhere.
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Amber, you are awesome.
Although I am a little saddened (but not at all surprised) by the number of people who do not understand satire.
I am expecting my Canadian to arrive by post tomorrow, having returned my Mexican for a full refund (minus two-way shipping and HazMat fees).
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Hmmm … I wonder why the world hates Americans. “…gave them really money” … wow, you people are brilliant. This article certainly confirms what Canadians have always known: the American education system is equaled only by its economy. By the way, Canadian Unemployment: 8.5%, US Unemployment: 9%. You’re the jobless, dumbass.
At least you’re a devout Christian so I’ve no need to tell you to shove it up your ass – your priest has taken care of that already. Cheers!
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amazing how many here don’t know that this article is obvious satire…..
not that I find it all that interesting or good, but it is a satire of fundamentalist Christianity and the fact that in the “Old” Testament there is an approval of slavery *if* slaves are taken from a neighboring nation…..
I don’t think there’s actually anyone in N. America who believes that nowadays – can’t speak to all of the world….
so all of the people here ranting and raving against a satirical piece are the ones who look rather silly
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even if it’s satire it’s can hurt someone else even on the net thats a Big problem
I know freedom of speech is Important and Nice but there is also a Limit about this freedom of speech
there is thing we should not say and other thing we can say that the problem with Most american these day those people think they are superior to every nation on this earth because they with their war with most of their ALLY without their ALLY USA are nothing Much than any other country
Nobody asked them to be defender or guardian of the earth they get it into their ego their condemn communism when a communism country can’t exist ( it’s an ideology like capitalism by the way)
Most american doesn’t know what is the real meaning of communism or socialism most of them doesn’t care but still continue to condemn this point of view
for me communism is simply helping each other in need simple as that I know it’s has a Bigger meaning but this is the basis the communication between everyone will you help your neighbour if he asked your help ?
most american condemn china for being a totalitarian government when what I see there people should record every citizen or spy on everyone private life it’s what most of american are scared of ? being spy on private life ? in China they didn’t have that they have law against that as well they have law also against Thievery so don,t come said : people can come and take everything they want It’s not true they have Money they need to paid for everything they have
a communism regime doesn’t have Money in it what i said is Just stop being ignorant and stupid most of the “didactor” in history like saddam hussein wanted to be free of USA oppression everyone Know that but eveyon shut their mouth
even In Japan the Japanese people are tired of the “invasion of USA” inside their territory they have More american bases than they have Japanese bases
Your religion like every western religion Including Muslim just bring hates and violence and racism to everyone it’s why the world is In chaos, but everyone is afraid to stand against the oppresor either american or alquaida everyone are scared that they might get Killed
Last time china went at wars was in cold wars but it’s USA who declared war to force them to apply CAPITALISM in their society but you see
It’s why everyone hates american they become too Much egocentric they think they are the best when all alone I won’t even bet a Penny to their victory
So next time people before syaing you are the best country in the world think about what other people outside of your country think about you
I’m canadian and I know my country is Not the best its has is mistake but it’s my country also and I love every country who is friendly, not from Biased media or Biased american or Biased whatever you name it
and for Mr Adam nelson You won,t be able to use “nuclear missile” anyway because it’s might destroy yourself in the same time
and seriously I think we should dismantle every missile we have in this planet and we should stop all those stupid wars, most of them were declared by america since 1950
anyway I had enough I don’t have much else to said
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Hippie. I do agree with the dismantling missiles, but only every nation but America. We have a right to have missiles and especially nuclear weapons, so we invented both. Other countries stole our patented technology and by all rights should be held accountable.
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getting a bit powerhungry are we?
first of america have no more right to these wepons than anyone else. they were not invnted exclusively by americans either for that matter and no you don’t have apatent on the shit.
second if there was only one country with nuclear weapons that country would be far too powerful. the way nuclear missiles perserve peace is by the fact that so many have that all would have to agree before anyone could be fired because if not somebody would start fireing back. and before you say that america have th right to decide where to bomb. what if someday the rest of the world decide for some reason america is the threath that needs to be destoryed? what would we do if only america had those wepons? and in a world where only america have nuclear wepons…thats not too unrealistic.
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Did you suffer from a stroke? Why do you write like that? There is no limit to free speech. Thats what makes it free speech you dipshit. This ISN’T a news site. This ISN’T a political opinions site. This IS A JOKE. You fucking clown. Every article on this sight is a joke. If it offends you, go somewhere. Do you think you’re fighting the good fight? If canada is so awesome, how come so many canadians on here are so damn sensitive about being made fun of? Obviously ashamed of something. Or maybe you’re all just as stupid as us Americans. Good god, have a little fun. Thats what the authors of these articles are doing. They’re getting you riled up to laugh at your responses. Have you seriously not figured this out? You and jazze got a serious case of bitch eye goin.
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This person obviously has no mind, you cannot own a person. We are not objects, just because we are not from your country does not mean we are monkeys who will obey your every desire. Also, what really got me upset about the stupidity of this article is; “Owning poor foreign people is a great experience that every family should have.” Who in their right mind told you that all Canadians were poor? Maybe me specifically might be in that situation right now, but it is because my parents are going through a divorce. Not all Canadians are poor, and neither are Mexicans. I have Mexican friends and they aren’t desperate for money. And lastly, why can’t your parents take care of you theirselves? They don’t have to get specifically Mexicans to take care of you, and you don’t need to get Mexicans to slave down for your children. Stop being so sterotypical!
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omg, i sooooo want to buy you.
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Have you tried your own medicine? It can help to treat your ignorance.
Why can’t I own a dumb Christian American bigot? By golly if they are Christian then they are gullible enough to do slave labor. What’s more, if they are ignorant enough to embrace racist beliefs then they probably are not capable, and shouldn’t be allowed, to hold any real professional role that involves interacting with other decent human beings. Friends lets all go to the South, or any place rural where people hide in fear and ignorance, and find some extremely dumb Christians who speak in tongues, the same tongues they will use to clean our toilets.
Mmmmm tastes good doesn’t it?
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Whoever wrote this has to be the dumbest person on the planet. Do you people really exist?
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OMG, all you people all offended and taking this satire seriously are dumb as a box of hammers! Those of you who are all outraged are a sad example of how stupid it is possible to be! This artical is a spin-off of a well known letter to Dr. Laura, who cites Leviticus as why homosexuallity is wrong. The letter asks a dozen or so satirical , biblical questions about stoning farmers who plant more than 2 crops in one field, people who wear more than one kind of fiber in cloth , etc – all of which are forbidden in the old testiment. http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACanadian_10-02.html
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This is too f funny. by the way I’m a Mexican with a sense of humor. Canadians should get one. Since you know how to use the internet you can buy one on ebay;-)
Amber thanks for the laugh.
Harvy Moon
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You’ve never been to Canada, have you? It’s a lot like America. We have closer ties to the U.K and France. Oh, and there are a lot more atheiests. Myself included. You should visit! : D
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“Taco-scented hugs” and “Flaunt their curvy bean dipped hips” Priceless
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I’ll be your Canadian house worker Amber..
When your kids get home they can watch me finish up raping your ass, then I’ll fuck them and impregnate your daughter. Once that’s over with I’ll give it to your husband before I cut you all and steal your shit to take back with me to my igloo in Canada.
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joe, u speak like a true canadian, (sounds like you got some sexual frustration going on there.) we can market you. when do you go on sale?
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Hey, does anyone know where I can get super bitchin’ shirt with three wolves howling to the moon? I really need it ‘cuz a girl is coming over tonight…
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Everyone posting comments here is a fucking retard. Do you dumbasses not know what a troll is? This article is lulzy, you guys need to stop being so butthurt
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apparently canadians don’t know wat a troll is. stupidity like that needs to be taken advantage of. could we sell them on ebay?
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Maybe so, but there actually ARE people that believe some of these things.
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Those darn Canadians won’t take their hat off during our national anthem and now they are having to truck in snow for the olympics. Those darn NewFies!
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LMAO. YOUR MY HERO THIS IS THE BEST ARTICLE IVE EVER READ
….and im canadian
fucking hilllaaariousssss
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