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Ben and Jerry’s Wants Kids to Eat Semen Flavored Ice Cream
September 2, 2009 by Tyson Bowers III
Filed under Faith Links, Featured, Gay Agenda, Moral Alerts, Values & Lifestyle
The gay’s in the homo factor known as San Fagsico are up to it again, Now this time defacing one of American’s greatest foods…Ice cream.
The gay cream factory owners of Ben and Jerry’s have created a new flavor called “Hubby Hubby” to celebrate the start of legalized gay marriage in its home state of Vermont.
Now let’s think about this first. We all know gays use candy, puppies and toys to lure young boys into their sugar plum sex fantasy homes and we know children LOVE ice cream, so what better way to shove gayness down white male boy’s throats then to name a ice cream after the act of two men shoving eachother’s twinkie puffs into one another’s sin holes.
This will brand “GAY FRIENDLY” to children. This will make “GAY” look normal because it is on ice cream, YEAH!
From studies and reports we have also found that this ice cream was concocted to taste just like male sperm. Of course it would, of course it would. The reason for this is so that young males will get use to this new “CANDY” flavor and so when these Peter Pan skipping flamers throw our children into dark basements, tied up with duct tape and fish wire, and then force them to drink their sperm, the children will actually think they are getting a treat.
I hope the fires in Southern California move up the coast to this sinful city and burn it and it’s people into large piles of ash.
Okay, so, first of all, I’m pretty sure that the picture says it’s flavored like fudge and peanut butter. Not like semen. Secondly, why is this site so hateful? I thought God loved EVERYTHING he created? Are you saying that the Devil created all other creatures that are not WHITE? Skin color, actually, is caused by pigments in the skin. I am very appauled by your website and it’s foul message of hate that it spreads to everyone.
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Satire. Look it up.
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This site has absolutely nothing to do with satire. It’s all about hate.
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ugh!
I mean, pretzels in ice cream? That’s just wrong.
oh, and Vermont is on the opposite side of the country from California, which means you basically want the wildfires to destroy the entire country.
hmm … God smiting the US for its bigotry and hubris? Not that bad an idea now that I think about it. But could it please make it’s way to Alaska? That’s another problem I’d like to see taken care of.
And yes, I do live in America.
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I was going to be angry at your ignorant, small-minded fuckwittery, but I was too busy laughing at you. I’m amazed that, as stupid as you are, your brain actually manages to function enough to keep you alive.
P.S. LOL *male* sperm. As opposed to what, exactly? Also: mmm, candy.
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IF this ICE CREAM was GOD FEARING and HOLY, it would be made by BEN and SHERRY!
I FEAR for the CHILDREN of this ONE NATION UNDER GOD!
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“From studies and reports we have also found that this ice cream was concocted to taste just like male sperm.”
And where, pray, are these “studies and reports”?
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I think Tyson subconsciously wants it to taste like Semen so he can try some.
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You know what made me giggle?
The mental image of a whole bunch of official taste testers sat there with a bucket of ice cream and a bucket of semen, comparing tastes and sending it back because it’s not quite right.
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This is just horrible. I am ashamed of that whole state. Hasnt anyone read the Bible lately?
“For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error. And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper.” –Rom. 1:26-28,
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You’re just jealous coz u cant find this flavour in your scary ass backwoods hick town, you LOSER!!
I’m gonna eat 20 cartons in yr, name. mmmmmmmmmmmmm
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OMG I had to read this like 80 times before I understood it. Can’t god write in English if it wants to stay in America? Can somebody just text me a summary, kthxbai.
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Read my fingertips. FUCK THE BIBLE it’s a story. nothing more. A poorly written story at that.
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What is wrong with you? Did you eat paint chips as a child? Nearly every one of your sentences has multiple spelling and grammatical errors. In the spirit of Christ, let me help you.
“The gay’s in the homo factor known as San Fagsico are up to it again, Now this time defacing one of American’s greatest foods…Ice cream.”
1) “gay’s” does not need an apostrophe, there is no possession being expressed. A plural simply requires an “s”
2) “homo factor” – I think you mean “homo factory.”
3) “Now this time” – Why did you capitalize “Now”? You are not starting a new sentence, and “Now” is not a proper name. Also, “now” and “this time” basically mean the same thing here, so you are being redundant.
4) “Ice cream” – Again, an unnecessary capitalization.
5) “American’s” – You got the apostrophe right this time, but I think you meant “America’s”
That’s at least five mistakes in the first sentence alone. Plus, you have no idea where Vermont is. I am afraid you are literally retarded.
You are welcome.
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That was fucking funny. I thought the very same thing: how many grammatical errors can this idiot have in one sentence?
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“I hope the fires in Southern California move up the coast to this sinful city and burn it and it’s people into large piles of ash”
I think it’s more like he thinks that San Fransisco = Vermont
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Can’t wait to see their next errors. LOL
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Um … wow. Y’all do realize that this is a parody site, right? Right?
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It’s really hard to tell the real thing from a parody nowadays…
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“I hope the fires in Southern California move up the coast to this sinful city and burn it and it’s people into large piles of ash.”
How compassionate of you. Remind me not to be sorry next time someone torches a church.
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I like to argue with these stupid people. I realize it’s parody but it’s really good! lol
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Agreed, my brother!
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Is this site some sort of joke, or are the people writing this hateful, biased junk completely serious? please someone answer me, there is no way this can be real?!?!
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how dare you call God fearing Christian people like us a Joke,
You will see that you are the once who are wronk , when your Kids come home Raped by Gay`s smelling like seemen
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Great grammar and spelling. I bet you were the smartest kid in your class.
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S. M. R. T.
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you know, the only rapes you hear about are the ones performed by straight old white men… who abduct innocent children and keep them hostage for 18 years… but they do it cause “God told them to do it”…
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Hey dipshit, that guy was a closet homo!
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If you were a true Christian you wouldn’t hate on everybody. ’nuff said.
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Shouldn’t the pretzels be fudge-packed instead of being filed with peanut butter?
Will “Hubby Hubby” taste better if you eat pineapple and celery beforehand?
Is the serving size approximately 1 tsp, just like in real life?
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Truly a funny return! Made my day!
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What a crazy posting. Idiots make up stuff like this and others blindly believe it. First of all, San Francisco isn’t any where close to Vermont. Secondly, can’t you tell the difference between fudge covered peanut butter pretzels in vanilla malt and seman? You are one sick, sick puppy. I would suggest that you go crawl back under the rock that you came out of.
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“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” — Mahatma Gandhi
that is the first thing that comes to my mind when i read hateful and intolerant comments from so-called “Christians.”
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ok so the guy that wrote this is a complete moron…. im sorry you wasted your time with hate rhetoric that doesnt even make sense…. cuz you know, all gay guys are just horrible people…. idiot…. most of us are the reason the economy is on its upward turn, we have double the disposable income every month as opposed to straight married couples, or single straight people for that matter… i think its because we are more successful and we actually use our money properly… lets examine another side of this arguement, gay IS normal, its found in nature CONSTANTLY, arent those gods creatures too? And they dont have free will like we do… so apparently god created them just to sin and be destroyed in a lake of fire? thats almost as ridiculous as believing in calvinism (the idea that your born with a predestined fate, such as, you were born this way, god knew you were going to go to hell, so there is nothing you can do….) really stupid if you ask me…. people blame so many things on us that we have NOTHING to do with…. there are very sick people out there, but you should be able to see that most gay men arent a part of that…. its sort of like saying that all straight men are only interested in beer and football, its just not true….
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Sorry, Eddie, but just because a male dog will crank on another male does NOT mean nature designed GAY creatures…
GUESS WHAT….THEY CAN’T BREED!
Last time I checked….Reproductive Organs were made for:
REPRODUCTION….
NOT for dipping Yer Wick in No.2!
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Fuck this “article” and fuck the blatant bigotry and homophobia that resides within you and other morons like yourself. And if this was an attempt at humour, it failed so incredibly hard it’s ridiculous.
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This was the funniest shit I have ever read. I love christian hate! Its the new comedy format!
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So I’m gay… and although, hateful; I found this very funny! Tyson; you have to be one of the most stupid people put on earth! God is wise, and he gave us opposition in all things, the STUPID (aka YOU) to know the wise (aka anyone else)
Well I feel better! Anyone up for some ice cream!?!?!?
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I’m not gay but semen us totally delicious.
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Oh god, “San Fagsico”. I will admit, I lol’d.
Also, pretzels, fudge, peanut butter, and vanilla totally taste like semen
No, sir, peanut butter does not come from THOSE ‘peanuts’ no matter what bizarre nicknames you give them. Seriously, “Satan Scepter”? “Twinkie puffs”? “Sin-holes”?
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Mmmmm. I love semen flavored ice cream….. *licks lips*
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Thank you, I had no idea gay men used candy and puppies to lure me in there vans.
I will keep an eye out and burn all puppies!
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Even if you had ANY valid points in your rant, they were completely masked by your obvious ignorance. You want people to see your view, present your view in an intelligent and coherent way. And just so that you are not a complete moron, perhaps your view should be presented in a way that follows with your Religious views and not against them? Hateful and rude remarks do nothing but make you look bad. I actually feel stupider even being on this website.
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I LOVE THIS SITE! You guys are hilarious.
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I think it is HILARIOUS that this hate site has tried to make a buck off of Google adsense and by doing so proved their ignorance! When I viewed this article an ad for an Atlantis Gay Cruise appeared at the top! Too funny and too appropriate. Grow up guys and stop the hate! It’s not becoming! And thanks for the Atlantis ad…. just booked the cruise today. Hope it comes with Hubby Hubby!
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So, I’ve tasted my fair share of semen, and I can say without any doubt that it tastes absolutely NOTHING like “Fudge Covered Peanut Butter Filled Pretzels in Vanilla Malt Ice Cream with Fudge and Peanut Butter” as the labels clearly states. That is all.
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PREEEETTTYYYY sure that semen-flavored ice cream would not sell as well as these nuts seem to think…..
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Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait…
Wait.
Tyson…you’re telling me, that Ben and Jerry’s hands you a “homogay” friendly ice cream that is described as “Fudge Covered Peanut Butter Filled Pretzels in Vanilla Malt Ice Cream with Fudge and Peanut Butter” and the BEST you can come up with is to claim that it’s semen flavored?
I must admit I am disappointed in you, sir. Highly disappointed.
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Oh yes, I’m talking to Bowers, of course, not the other “Tyson” who has posted here.
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This is absolutely disgusting. I have banned all three of my children from eating any fag cream from this point forward, just in case other designers get the idea to include semen in their recipes as well. For all we know, they’ve been doing this for years. I am going to go wretch now.
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reminds me of the ice cream brand golden gaytime
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you guys are twats. for one, nobody is making you guys eat the fucking ice cream. number two, if you don’t like it, DON’T BUY IT. three, if you guys were “real christians”, you would not be so hypocritical of others and telling them to ‘burn in hell’, and instead just pray for them.
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AND IT’S NOT EVEN REAL SEMEN YOU IDIOTS. If it were, the food and drug administration wouldn’t even ALLOW this. Look at the goddamn ingredients.
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hahahahahahahahahha
first of all: You take GAY for PEDOPHILIA…
There is a big difference between these two!
Luring young boys is something that a Pedophile does.
Being gay just means you like your own gender and fall in love with it.
Pedophiles are the big *wrongs* in this world. And woopsie, did i read everywhere
that in churches and orphanages kids get molested by priests and non’s?
Soooo, that means that al those priests are gay? AND SERVE GOD? AND lure young boys?
woowwww i’m so confused right now!
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That icecream sounds FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!
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“From studies and reports we have also found that this ice cream was concocted to taste just like male sperm.” Of course we have… We had to s*ck off dozens of choirboys to figure that out. We are working relentlessly for the glory of the LORD! Hallelujah!!!
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Hahahahaha, funny stuff! Very amusing, but the least convincing of all the fake articles I’ve seen on here. You came (haha, came) on a bit strong with the “homogay! EEK!” thing. San Fagsisco? Yeah, tone it down
Good work, very funny. Is the picture fake too?
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Has anyone mentioned that ice cream was invented in Italy yet? So isn’t an American food as such. Plenty of homosexuals there, the Romans were all about the man-love! Haha.
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They totally stole my flavor idea!
“Ben & Jerry’s Jizzy Ripple”!
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This is an INTERESTING (controvertial) subject…
Anthropologist Gilbert Herdt witnessed and translated these words, spoken by an elder of the Sambia of Papua, New Guinea to a group of boys about to be initiated into a traditional insemination practice. The practice, observed by Herdt from 1972 to 1974, consists of the ingestion of semen via fellatio (“oral sex”), and is believed by the tribe to be essential for a boy’s full masculine development. The boys are “inseminated” from the age of eight until about fifteen, at which time they become inseminators themselves until married, when they cease all such same-sex sexual practices. Goto: http://sacredsemen.com
And, further…
” Aside from swallowing semen as a measure to prevent the waste and spillage of seed, ingesting ejaculate can have spiritual benefits, as we will see. Although the Old Testament makes reference to the bitterness of semen (And he shall cause the woman to drink the bitter water. [Numbers 5:24]), the New Testament casts the act of consuming ejaculate in a much more affirming light, as in the following passage, where Jesus speaks to the woman of Samaria about the gift of “living water”: Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, “Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” 11 The woman said to him, “Sir, you have no bucket, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water?…15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I may never be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water.” 16 Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come back.” (John
4:10-16) “Living water” in this context refers to semen, which literally is the liquid of life. As Christ indicates, drinking of the “living water” provides a spiritual replenishment for the soul. When the woman asks Jesus where she can get this “water”, he tells her to fetch her husband, clearly with the intention of instructing her on how to fellate him and swallow his semen. – Gospel of Thomas (5) … ” …ETC.
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LAW SITE LAW SITE, Hope Bowers the turd has a good lawyer
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“The act of two men shoving eachother’s twinkie puffs into one another’s sin holes.”
Sounds so good and sexy!!! I love have twinkie puffs inside my sin hole!!!
And semen Ice Cream sounds so sweet, but I like to take the semen from the bottle thank you very much!
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