• BYU Mormons Destroy Oklahoma Football Season, Ruin Quarterback Sam Bradford’s Shoulder

    September 7, 2009 12:26 am 8 comments

    The mean football playing Mormons of BYU should have much guilt in their heart, as they cheated #3 Oklahoma Sooners in a disgraceful game yesterday, 14 -13.

    All through the game, it was obvious that the BYU players did not have a true sense of morality in their souls. They constantly cheated, sneaking offsides and lobbing hurtful curses to the hard-working Sooners linemen.

    Is is all but obvious that the refs were paid off and fans of polygamy, as their eyes continued to wander across the red-headed legions of BYU cheer girls sprinkled throughout the stands.

    When all their cheap shots and unsportsman like conduct was just not enough, the Mormons decided to do the unthinkable; ruin the season of a proper Heisman Trophy quarterback.

    From the depths of the backfield, prowled a sable menace known as Coleby Clawson. In efforts to ensure the superior Sooners did not win the game, Clawson dared to pommel the noble Sam Bradford into the ground.

    Immediately, Bradford’s blessed throwing arm was injured by the works of darkness. Officials say it is a bad spring and he will be out all season. With two of their leaders out for a good portion of the season (TE being the other), the Sooners lost heart and did not even feel like beating the Mormons with a miracle field goal or perhaps a divine Hail Mary pass that sailed upon heavenly winds into the hands of a waiting receiver.

    Rest assured, that this is only a test for the Sooners and the time will come for them to take their rightful place as winners. The Bringham Young University team should have great shame in their collective 20th ranked heart

    I wish I sat upon the poll board, because I would vote to have BYU ranked dead last or kicked to division 2 for such cheap shots and foul play. What a horrible game and this “victory” should have a giant asterisk next to it for all time.

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    About The Author
    Dan Nordgren Born and raised in upstate New York, Dan Nordgren is currently a film student who enjoys martial arts, mountain climbing and football as components of his very active life. Join Team Sarah TODAY

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