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Lindsay Lohan Is A Lesbian Vampire
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I knewed it. Take a good look at the picture. Look at it! The movie Twilight is corrupting our youth to do blood rituals and abortion orgies. The latest person to try to help spread this demonic following to our youth is a Hollywood flussy named Lindsay Lohan.
Lindsay Lohan is famous for being a flickering licksinned lesbian and teasing men’s satan scepters by doing sick nude photos where she showed her bared milks for all to see. If that was not vile enough, she is now helping to spread a gay vampire agenda as you see in my evidence.
Friends, there is nothing holy or good about vampires. Ever since Twilight came out, teen death and drug use has increased ten fold in our schools. Swine flu is spreading through university campuses and killing students by the 100s and soon 1000s! It’s just like the plague all over again, I wonder why?
You want the answer? Lesbian vampires and Twilight!
Here you me. If I had it my way, I would organize everyone in town and make Mr. J.K. Rowling of Twilight fame come to our court! We would vote him guilty for tempting children to bite each other in the neck and then tempting more boys and girls to come with their “friendly lesbian” vampire agents on twitters.
Friends, celebrity girls now think it’s okay to participate in the Twilight death culture. Your daughters look up to girls like Lidnsay Lohan and media is just letting her courrpt their innocent minds. It is time for parents to take charge and FORBID TWILIGHT!
There is a sick new Twilight movie coming out where the vampires and wolves have bestials gay agenda sex! They want to show this filth to your children and then teach them that drinking a little bit of each other’s blood is all happy and fun games!
I do not know about you, but as a loving parent my heart would be sad to find my kin done gone and died of chlamydial AIDS because they were playing vampires with their little Hollywood emulating friends. Ban Twilight! Ban it!
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1:54 am
The person behind her looks like one of them shape shifters!
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3:36 am
If you think that Twilight is dangerous and immoral, then don’t watch Underworld!
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4:23 am
Abe just as I thought you couldn’t get more bat shit crazy you do it again. J.K. Rowling is a woman and the writer of the harry potter books Stephenie Meyer is the writer of the twilight books she is a Christan. Look who I am talking to someone who thinks New Zealand is a state of Australia.
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5:04 am
oh, just another note. There is no sign of sex between vampires and werewolves in Twilight, and there’s nothing about homosexuality.
J.K. Rowling wrote Harry Potter, Stephanie Meyers wrote the Twilight series. And books by Lauren Hamilton are far worse in matter of sex, with some graphic scenes. Rather easy to see why Hamilton’s books are more adult oriented than Twilight.
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5:23 am
This website is a joke. Its gotta be. All the writers pictures even look fake. I mean cmon, these guys have got to be fucking with us. These articles dont even make any sense.
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11:14 am
I really enjoy this website! I agree with Tricky, this website is a giant joke, but it’s very very funny! Good job!
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11:40 am
The first movie was an affront to God’s will and this piece of trash will be worse. Between this and the news that the Porn King is trying to get his smut on the Playstation Network for our children to download, it is clearly a sign that the end days are upon us. I pray with you brother!
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11:57 am
I Agree that Twilight should go away just because I don’t Like it.
But this reason is just deranged.
The People who post these things are deranged.
The People who agree with these posts are deranged.
This Site is run by Racist, Homophobic, and Moronic people.
How do you live with yourselves?
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5:15 pm
What a judgmental, nasty thing to say about ChristWire’s news organization. I welcome each and every headline and hope it continues to counter the liberal media. Maybe instead of passing judgment onto others and reading news sites, you can open your Bible and read about Christ’s lesson of casting stones, my friend?
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5:33 pm
“Maybe instead of passing judgment onto others and reading news sites, you can open your Bible and read about Christ’s lesson of casting stones, my friend?”
…says the man who constantly degrades homosexuals, Arabs, women, Africans, etc.
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5:38 pm
I’m not even going to dignify this false-lie comment with substantive rebuttal. I love everyone and just want them to go to heaven by living proper lives.
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6:39 pm
That’s because you don’t have a substantive rebuttal.
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1:08 am
Let me put this simply.
If you believe this, you are
a: A dip.
B: a dip
C: a homophobe
d: a dip
e: not smart enough to realize;
a: It was kristen someone who playyed bella; not lindsey lohan
b: Both J.k. Rowlings and stephenie myers are female
c: your a dip.
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12:21 pm
Okay, not even sure where you get your info here.
1) Twilight represents neither suicide nor gay agendas.
2) JK Rowling wrote Harry Potter, Stephenie Meyer wrote Twilight.
3) Both authors are female, not men.
4) If this website really is a joke, it should be discontinued. This is the biggest desecration of God’s name I have ever seen in my entire life, and I find it even more offensive as a joke than if it were real.
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1:22 pm
Charlie, it is obvious that you are not a Real Christian(TM). Take your liberal loving, Barack supporting, homosexually inclined ass elsewhere.
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2:06 am
so 97% of the world population is Gay now because they don,t follow your thought ?
even if I agree with one thing ( Lindsay lohan beind lesbian well bisexual actually ) the rest is bullshit
oh and by the way Try to get JK rowling and miss meyers to the court in USA you will LOSE your case faster than you ever thought
why because of FIRST amendment FREEDOM OF SPEECH and 2 because JK rowling is british ( as for meyers I don’t know ) so they can’t actually getting arrested for No proper reason ( even if I hated twilight it’s really suck )
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12:46 pm
Oh God Abe you crack me up so much sometimes. Hahaha.
Everything that flows between your brain and your computer is a joke to me, especially when you’re trying to be serious. I mean really, even Billings makes more sense than you.
Not MUCH more, mind. The point is still there.
Keep it up. The world needs more comic relief.
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1:38 pm
1. That is not Lindsay Lohan
2. “The movie Twilight is corrupting our youth to do blood rituals and abortion orgies.”
I see neither of those in that photo.
3. “Ever since Twilight came out, teen death and drug use has increased ten fold in our schools.”
Source?
4. “I would organize everyone in town and make Mr. J.K. Rowling of Twilight fame come to our court!”
a. J.K. Rowling is a female
b. The author of “Twilight” is a woman named Stephenie Meyer. J.K. Rowling is the author of “Harry Potter”
5. “Your daughters look up to girls like Lidnsay Lohan”
Girls haven’t looked up to Lindsay Lohan for years now.
CONCLUSION: You are retarded.
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4:21 pm
Not to mention that this sentence:
“There is a sick new Twilight movie coming out where the vampires and wolves have bestials gay agenda sex!”
Not only it is totally wrong because in the Twilight Saga there is no hint to homosexuality nor sex between vampires and werewolves, but the only movie that hints to that is Underworld Rise Of The Lycans, that’s Not a movie intended for teenagers, but for adults!
These guys are messing up with different movies, different books, different authors and they have a rather inexplicable confusion in their mind about a name like Joanne Kathleen Rowling, worldwide known as J. K.
And the past tense of “Know” is “Knew”, not “Knewed”.
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5:09 pm
Redaction: YOU are retarded.
1. It is Linday Lohan. Here is a second source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1211484/Mean-girl-Lindsay-Lohan-poses-vampire-Twitter.html
2. Celebrities are now throwing vampire parties where they ‘drink blood and have sex’, which naturally leads to abortions. That’s what Lindsay is doing in said photo.
3. Did you not read the article about the boy who bit 11 classmates, or the national survey of violent acts last year?
4. a. Where is your proof, have you seen his medical records?
5. Girls look up to Lindsay Lohan all the time, that’s why so many are mean and nasty.
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5:25 pm
1. Ah, yes, the Daily Mail, such a reputable source…
2. Lindsay Lohan is drinking blood and having sex in that photo? Wow, your mind must be even dirtier than mine if you can imagine that.
3. And what is your evidence that Twilight has contributed to said “violent acts” mentioned in that survey?
4a. Oh no, no, no. Just like when you accused me of plagiarism, it is YOU who has to provide proof that J.K. Rowling is NOT a female. YOU’RE the one making the outrageous claim, YOU provide the proof.
5. Aww, boo hoo, Adam, have girls been mean to you? Did they give you cooties?
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5:42 pm
1. The story is all over the place.
2. If you can read and use a site called “Google” (the letters are there on your keyboard, or to make this easy for you just click the following link: http://google.com). That is called a “search engine”. You enter words into the “search box” and you can find more articles about the topic! Neat, huh? I know it may seem overly complex to you, much like a car engine or the inner-workings of a radio, but Google is very kid-friendly in terms of ease of use. I see no reason why a nice lady such as yourself should be too confused by trying to use it.
3. There is plenty of evidence that it has contributed to violence.
4. Jamie Lee Curtis is another one. She may or may not have sry active, but who knows. It’s not ethical for us in the medical field to look into medical files and divulge such information. I’m really appalled that you tried to get me to do so.
5. Stop trying to change the subject from Twilight being immoral.
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6:53 pm
3. Such as?
4. “It’s not ethical for us in the medical field to look into medical files and divulge such information.”
I know that, retard, I’m a CNA. However, YOU’RE the one who made the claim that J.K.R. was not really a woman, so YOU’D better find me some plausible evidence to support your claim. Gee, perhaps try that magic Google thing you were blabbing on about!
5. I’m not a fan of Twilight, but I don’t see how it’s immoral. I’d say that if any form of literature is immoral, it’s the bible, what with it’s instructions on when to stone your children to death and such.
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6:58 pm
You really are retarded aren’t you? When you claim something that someone else says isn’t true, then it is your duty to prove yourself right through hard evidence.
Besides that, it’s obvious to anyone who’s not been living under a rock for the last 10 years that J.K. Rowling is female.
“Joanne “Jo” Murray, OBE[1] (née Rowling; born 31 July 1965),[2] better known under the pen name J. K. Rowling,[3] is a British author best known as the creator of the Harry Potter fantasy series”
There you go, and just in case, I’ll link you to the source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._K._Rowling
Oh, and before you start screaming at me, saying that wikipedia “can be edited by anyone boo hoo”, I’m also going to link you to another source:
http://www.scholastic.com/harrypotter/books/author/index.htm
Scholastic is a reputable, and one of the biggest child’s book publishers here in the UK. I’m not sure how popular they are over there, however.
While I’m at it, “There is plenty of evidence that it has contributed to violence” is NOT an answer to that question. An answer to that question would go something like “sure Claire, here you go. I have found many reputable sources online that outline quite clearly how these topics are indeed related, and I shall link you to them now”.
You see, Adam? That’s called sourcing your material and backing up your “statistics” with ACTUAL statistics! Neat, huh? I know it may seem overly complex to you, much like a car engine or the inner-workings of a radio, but backing up your points with facts can prove very useful when making statements. I see no reason why a nice man such as yourself should be too confused by trying to use it.
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7:17 pm
Sort of like that black “girl” runner from South Africa?
Picture 1: Before Allegations
They try to claim she was a woman and no proof is necessary.
Picture 2
And then after the plot thickens and everyone demands explanations, they try to give us some suspicious “proof”?
Riiight.
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7:22 pm
The links don’t work, but besides that, this black “girl” runner you speak of has absolutely nothing to do with JK Rowling.
Get a grip man, reality is calling.
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7:25 pm
Ah, they work now. But still, like I said, posting pictures of a different person holds absolutely no bearing on what you’re trying to prove.
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7:46 pm
Just like we demanded to know if that runner was male or female, we can demand to know the same for JK Rowling. Harry Potter is a very horrid series and it pains my heart to know parents let their kids read it, but the fact remains that the texts are well-written. Satan obviously had a hand in writing it, but even so, I doubt a woman could write that much alone without major break. I can see their point and don’t see why it’s not reasonable to demand a test.
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8:02 pm
“but the fact remains that the texts are well-written. Satan obviously had a hand in writing it, but even so, I doubt a woman could write that much alone without major break.”
WOMEN CAN WRITE JUST AS WELL AS MEN! IN THIS DAY AND AGE, YOU CANNOT USE “WOMEN CAN’T WRITE WELL” AS A REASON TO QUESTION SOMEONE’S GENDER. THIS IS THE 21ST CENTURY; SUCH SEXISM IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!
IF I CAME FACE TO FACE WITH YOU, I WOULD RIP OFF YOUR TESTICLES WITH MY BARE HANDS AND SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR THROAT.
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8:11 pm
Holy….Fucking….Shit. If I ever meet you claire, remind me to never piss you off.
(supposed to be here..don’t know why it’s up there…)
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8:18 pm
Don’t worry, Defiant. Unlike Adam, you actually respect women. If we ever do meet, though, we should hunt down Adam and beat the shit out of him.
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6:37 am
Retard hunting season is in? I’ll fetch my cricket bat.
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4:56 pm
Ima going huntin’! Shhhhh! I’m huntin’ wetards.
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2:19 am
claire : can I tape it would be funny on youtube hahaha
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3:09 am
Satan’s hand in Harry Potter? Well, I mean…Have you ever read one of those books? Have you ever even tried to understand that it is FICTION and not reality? Have you ever concentrated on the fact that Harry Potter is a whole story about good against evil and final triumph of the good characters?
Where the hell do you see the evil in Harry Potter? It is far more educative than Teletubbis!
And again this thing about women being less valuable than men. Jesus, you know anything about Jane Austen? Emily Dickinson? The Bronte Sisters? Ann Radcliff? Karen Blixen? Rita Levi Montalcini? Just to mention some uberfamous names.
Man, you’re a real troll, I wonder how your mother can cope with having such a son!
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7:43 pm
Wow. Thats all i can say. You…. are…. so fucking….. RETARDED….
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7:04 pm
1) I’m on the internet all day. First i ever heard of it.
2)If you bend way over, there is little stick between your legs called “a dick.” Now if you can’t find it go to the link: howtofindurdick.com. Or let your mom find it for you. Remember, she is the only woman on earth that will ever see you naked! ]:)
3)There is no evidence of you even being a human being.
4)I like Jamie Lee Curtis. She is pretty cool. And a good actor. So shove it.
5)I fail to see how TWILIGHT is immoral. I do know that being a racist sexist bastard is wrong though.
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1:45 pm
wheres janice?
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8:07 pm
Holy….Fucking….Shit. If I ever meet you claire, remind me to never piss you off.
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12:32 am
Adam,
-as i can see you have never been with a women, since you call into question J.K. Rowling’s and Jaime Lee Curtis’s sex. This is why I do not believe in organized religion. People like you ruin the higher power that is known to you as GOD. As a Father of quite a few little ones, I have read both the Harry Potter series and Twlight series. I see nothing wrong with the books nor the movies. There is no homosexuality nor sex. The same thing has been said about the Lord of the Rings trilogy and Star Wars time and time again. Get off your pedestal and stop viewing the world through your religion, you may like what you see. If God is love why is there so much hate in the world. I believe it is due religious fanatics such as yourself who only fuel that anger.
Charlie and Claire
-Thank you for the educated responses, it is people like you that are actually making the world a better place. Women are some of the best authors.
Oh yeah not to go off the subject, but after reading this website that my brother brought to my attention as a joke. I play video games and am very much in love with my wife and our children.
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10:23 am
Have you even read Harry Potter or Twilight?
I’m going to go ahead and say you haven’t because you clearly have no inkling of what either are about. Twilight is about LOVE and the only sex that happens in it is when both people are married to each other. As far as I am aware that is perfectly acceptable by the bible. Harry Potter is about good vs evil where good finally wins. Both are written by women who are both clearly smarter than you.
Cheers
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12:31 am
wow awesome troll article what a masterful display of douchecuntery Keep it up Abe. thi was encyclopedia dramitica material.
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8:47 pm
I’m new here. This is so retarded, yet entertaining. Have you ever even gone through with thinking one single thought for yourselves? Without your parents telling you what to think? Hell, did you fucking idiots ever go to pre-school? What’s wrong with a girl writing a book, and WHAT THE FUCK does Lindsey Lohan have to do with anything. On a side note, if you never bring this website down, I’ll still have something to laugh my ass off about every day when I get home from school.
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2:28 pm
2 things: jk rowling isn’t the writer of twilight and she’s a woman. a
and another thing: vampire exist only in fantasy games & books
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5:59 pm
I’d let Lindsay suck bodily fluids out of me any day.
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8:23 pm
i would fuck lindsay lohan so hard, i would bust in her ear
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2:19 am
My Paintball gun is ready Bring them On
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4:40 pm
Vampires aren’t real. Also J.K. Rowling is a woman. Also she has nothing to do with Twilight. She is the author of the Harry Potter series. Also she is a British citizen and you can’t bring her to your local municipal court just because you want to, and if you could, you still would not be able to “vote her guilty” because that would be a violation of our country’s due process. In an American trial, the rights of defendants are defended from being railroaded by political opponents through the appointment of a fair and impartial jury of peers. What you want to organize sounds more like an angry mob. Also chlamydia and AIDS are two unrelated diseases. Also there’s an A in the word “hear.” Also I think you just made up the terms “flussy” and “gay agenda sex” and the fact that you call the penis a “satan sceptre” is mind-boggling.
Is this site a put-on? The banner ad is for a gay cruise.
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9:52 pm
hahaha what the fuck is an orgy abortion?
well some of the articles on this site are pretty funny, it’s almost scary to think that people might still seriously think like this.
because there IS NO GOD, duh.
science rules!
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3:56 pm
I really hope English isn’t your first language. Oh and you’re obviously insane.
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9:38 pm
@Claire and Chris, I completely agree with the sentiment, but could we please avoid using words like retarded? It’s really offensive, and as someone who works with children with special needs, I find it really disturbing that the same people who object to racism, sexism and homophobia would so casually talk about “hunting retards”, without realizing how hurtful and offensive it is.
Also, there’s absolutely no way this website could be real. No one could actually write this kind of shit and think that they were going to be taken seriously.
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9:49 pm
Hey, while I agree with the sentiment, could we please avoid using words like retarded? It’s really offensive, and as someone who works with children with special needs, I find it disturbing that the same people who are so against racism, sexism and homophobia would so casually refer to “retard hunting”, without realizing how hurtful and offensive it is.
Also, there’s absolutely no way this website could be real. No one could write this kind of shit and think that they were going to be taken seriously.
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11:43 am
You knewed it?
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8:44 pm
Keep on doing what you’re doing you crazy, wonderful bastard. XD
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2:05 am
I’m torn between wishing this was a real site and the joy of knowing people aren’t this retarded in real life.
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3:39 pm
“Ever since Twilight came out, teen death and drug use has increased ten fold in our schools.” — where are you getting all this information? oh, right, you’re just making it up. Yeah, this is a quality news site.
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