• Scientists Use Magic To Levitate Mice

    September 10, 2009 10:47 am 63 comments

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    This is why scientists are a cursed people. When I heard that there were NASA scientists using magic in secret laboratories, I did not want to believe it. Sure, I could understand some vishnu Indian NASA or Chinese commie NASA doing pagan stuff like this, but not American!

    I wish I were a cosmic angel right now because I would grab the biggest asteroid and throw it at Earth! Destroy it all! How dare these scientists curse these poor mice with their devil tricks!

    On scientific website livescience.com, the heathens have the audacity to brag about how they have used magic to cause a mouse to levitate. What’s worse is that they chose to put their spell on a baby mouse, that was only three weeks old.

    The Path of Sin

    Scientists have now levitated mice using what they call “magnetic fields”. In elementary school, we had plenty of magnets. I don’t remember none of them levitating me or my friends no matter what we did, so I aren’t falling for this one. “Magnetic fields” is codespeak for “hell on Earth”, or enchanted, secret segments of their laboratories where they have invited Satan’s scientific demons in to help.

    Donning their white ritual robes, insider reports tell that “the NASA-affiliated scientists start to use chants filled with strange words as they gathered around a cauldron. A young scientific intern priest was ordered to bring in the laboratory rat specimen #35″.

    Still saying a flurrly mish-mash babble words, like the black tribals or angered Indian cab driver, the scientists gingerly placed the mouse in a cauldron. We have exlusive photographic documentation: Warning: The following media contains a live picture of a magic procedure, conducted in secret. Please first pray, then have women/children immediately leave the room before viewing this item and then pray once more.

    A three-week old mouse, who weighs only 10 grams, is forced into a cauldron by NASA scientists. In (a), the mouse is placed upon a ritual levitating plate and in (b), without. In (a), Satanic forces caused the poor creature to levitate against its will and divine natural plan for its wingless body.

    Imagine the horror of this baby mouse, stripped away from its loving mother and then hurled onto the cold, emotionless machines of a science lab. Its poor little heart raced in fear as its reality became one of torture and subjugation.

    Disoriented with Demonry

    Researcher journals reveal that the first young mouse they levitated, our three-week friend –lets call him Bucky — nearly had a heart-attack. As we speculated, young Bucky was terrified and his little quivering mouth cried out in horror. His mother was nowhere in sight and these scientists exploited his infant body, which probably made Obama squeel with delight when he read progress reports.

    One delighted CHINESE scientist relished in how they tortured the mouse with levitation, as he warmly reminisced, “‘It(Bucky) actually kicked around and started to spin, and without friction, it could spin faster and faster, and we think that made it even more disoriented!’ Haha!” Why am I not surprised to find this researcher’s name is Yuanming Liu, a physicist at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California.

    At least some of the American scientists on the team had half a heart, as they mildly sedated to next baby mouse they levitated, so it would not spin itself to the point of sickness.

    As the procedures carried on, the mice started to try to free themselves. Something in their brains allowed them to no that levitating upon the air is not moral or right. They tried to fight off the forces of Satan but the scientists were having none of that.

    A physicist named Da-Ming Zhu (surprise, surprise) was called in to build a torture cage to keep the mice from escaping during the ritual torture ceremony. The design featured an open top, so the mice could get air, food, water and be videotapped as demons helped the scientists use secret physics and dark magic that mankind has no business tampering with.

    Results and Application

    It’s pretty clear what’s going on here. Scientists are building up to making man be able to levitate. Sure, there are already guys like David Blaine and David Copperfield who claim they can disappear our holy Statue of Liberty and make themselves float to New York.

    We have revealed how both of those men are veil liars and really can’t do those things. These scientists, however, are the real deal. Egypt’s scientists of old used to make rivers turn into blood and plague locusts appear out of thin air; you see that God drowned Egypt’s army in the Red Sea as punishment and to this very day, their little country is still suffering 3rd world status while proper nations prosper.

    Make no mistake that levitation is not right or moral. It is anti-nature. If God meant for mice or man to fly, he would have given us wings now wouldn’t he? And before you say, ‘well we have planes’ that is not the point. Airplanes use basic properties of physics and when God helped the Wright Brothers build the first one in America, it was done all for his glory. It is no coincidence the Wright Brothers were children of a priest.

    U.S. President Barack Obama speaks on health care reform before a joint session of the U.S. Congress on Capitol Hill in Washington

    Friends, scientists are trying to learn how to levitate so they can make a man walk on water. That is the bottom line here. I would ask the question of who is funding this, but I think we all already know the answer: Barack Obama.

    Obama wants to be the first man to walk on water, so he claim, you’ve guessed it, he is the new Black holy savior. I know there was much speculation into his dark past, and sure, he may not really be the Beast of our Bibles and Left Behind Series, but he sure seems to think he’s the next big savior of everything.

    Let us pray that all of these scientific labs burn to the ground and all the mice can safely flee. Levitation is of the devil and it is not a part of our natural body plan. If angels need wings to fly, man has no business thinking is is moral for himself to float the heavenly winds without.

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    Abe If you don't like what you just read here you can just get out of my country. Now how about that smart-alack. Follow me on twitters. Poke me as your New Friend on Facebook!!

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