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Husbands, Do Not Let Your Women Drive
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Today as I arrived home from a long day at the office, my wife did not have supper prepared. Somewhat vexed by not having the warm, succelent scents of herbs and spices wafting through my home to my nose, I quickly ordered to children to bring the woman to me.
Why had my wife not completed her duty in ensuring I had a proper meal when entering the home?
When she came before me in the study, I could instantly tell something was wrong. Her eyes were beset by guilt. Had she done the unthinkable? Did she dare question my authority, or even far worse, was going to complain about her laundry or kid-taking errands like I hear other wives tend to do?
My heart was heavy and I really thought that perhaps a Godly incentive upon her cheek would I have to place. Before I could even clear my thoughts or questions, the truth emerged:
“Honey, I kinda wrecked my car today.”
As a concerned husband, I instantly ran out to the garage to check the condition of the CLK coupe. Nothing is more important that the health of your lovely cars, as they are indicators of how much God smiles upon your family.
The passenger side of the car, to the right of mine, was perfectly fine. The driver’s side was completely scraped and ruined. How did it happen?
The woman was applying make-up as she pulled into a gas station, and deeply sidescrabed a metalic bar to the side of a bump.
Women are truly at times a woe unto man, and that’s why Adam chose to name Even and all of her daughters WoeMan. They are a lovely burden.
There is just no properly repairing a CLK when it is ruined; it is going to be let go. This is not a problem because today I realized that the wife needed to be punished, just like a child, for her driving errors.
For a month I have taken away her license and she may only have it back once she demonstrates respect and decency to my possessions. The fact that she hurt the car so much, for makeup, is truly disrespectful and I’m just happy it wasn’t worse. Imagine had she totalled the car or ran into one of the other autos in our garage.
At any rate, husbands, we should be in the practice of evaluating our wive’s driving habits at least several times a year. We trust them with our cars and the lives of our children. There needs to be some sort of safety code for them to following, with a disciplinary system for if they drive in ways that we don’t find pleasing.
In time hopefully we can reduce the incidence of women drivers altogether. There are some activies that are just better suited to the Sons of Adam.
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3:23 am
stop discriminating agianst womens you sick man ! do you still live in the dark ages ?
it is not wise laying make up, but it could happen to man as well. Talking telephone, smoking etc. it has nothing to do with womens, but just lag of simpel commen sence.
Can you just decide to take you wife license?
you seem like a sick man in need of control, living in the the last century, but I have news for you ! this is year 2009 !
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6:27 am
well, my father some years ago did pretty much the same thing while talking on the mobile.
A man a couple of months ago partially destroyed MY car because he wasn’t paying attention to smaller cars from the height of his SUV. fortunately the insurance covered all the costs of reparation.
I could go on forever with accidents caused by men, but lunch is calling me!
Just one thing: I’ve been driving for two years and half, since I had my license. Guess how many accidents I caused? NONE!
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5:22 pm
You’re probably too busy talking to your girlfriends about who you’ll next have sex with to notice all the vehicular carnage you’ve caused. Now go knit a sweater and cook some food!
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7:33 pm
“Today as I arrived home from a long day at the office, my wife did not have supper prepared.”
Why don’t you grow some balls, stop whining about everything, and make yourself a goddamned sandwich.
“Why had my wife not completed her duty in ensuring I had a proper meal when entering the home?”
Maybe because she got tired of being your slave.
“Did she dare question my authority”
Authority in the home is SHARED by the husband and wife.
“or even far worse, was going to complain about her laundry or kid-taking errands like I hear other wives tend to do?”
I see…so it’s perfectly fine for you to throw a shit fit when dinner isn’t on the table for poor little you when you get home, but it’s wrong for your wife to complain about her day, which was most likely much harder than yours? Grow the fuck up.
“As a concerned husband, I instantly ran out to the garage to check the condition of the CLK coupe.”
A concerned husband would instantly ask his wife if she’s okay.
“Nothing is more important that the health of your lovely cars”
What about the health of your wife and children, you sick fuck?
“Women are truly at times a woe unto man, and that’s why Adam chose to name Even and all of her daughters WoeMan”
Hmm…no, I’m pretty sure that the word is woman, not woeman.
“This is not a problem because today I realized that the wife needed to be punished, just like a child, for her driving errors.”
But women are NOT children, and therefore should not be punished as one.
“she may only have it back once she demonstrates respect and decency to my possessions.”
But I thought the car was hers? Did she not say ““Honey, I kinda wrecked MY car today”?
“Imagine had she totalled the car or ran into one of the other autos in our garage.”
Yeah…or she could have been, you know, injured…
“In time hopefully we can reduce the incidence of women drivers altogether. There are some activies that are just better suited to the Sons of Adam.”
What’s your address? My dad just got a new sledgehammer and I was hoping to try it out.
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11:13 pm
You’re such a violent person at times, Claire. Calm down.
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3:26 pm
Hah wow… I seriously hope God is a Women and kicks your ass for the rest of eternity man you are THE MOST IGNORANT person I have ever seen. I truly feel sorry for the people close to you. May death come quickly to you as the world would be a better place from you God-Fearing Mongols.
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7:04 pm
You, my man, are awesomer than awesome things which are awesome. Without you, people might be forced to take ChristWire seriously.
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11:28 pm
“quickly ordered to children to bring the woman to me.”
-why on EARTH are u married?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!
“As a concerned husband, I instantly ran out to the garage to check the condition of the CLK coupe. Nothing is more important that the health of your lovely cars, as they are indicators of how much God smiles upon your family.”
-as a “concerned husband” one would think youd run to ur “wife” n embrace her, making sure shes alright n assuring her everything is and will b OK. by saying what u did it is only a dead giveaway tht u know what people wanted to hear (which is what i just said in this response) and gave them what they DIDNT, proving tht u just want the attention ur expecting from this silly article…
“For a month I have taken away her license and she may only have it back once she demonstrates respect and decency to my possessions. The fact that she hurt the car so much, for makeup, is truly disrespectful and I’m just happy it wasn’t worse. Imagine had she totalled the car or ran into one of the other autos in our garage.”
-you have no right to do tht u douchebag, she wouldnt let u anyway cuz women these days have rights n r fully aware of them… pplus, if this really did happen, which im positive it didnt, she was only applying the makeup cuz of how low her self esteem is due to ur respect for her and all women. she prolly feels worthless cuz of you, you son of a bitch!!!!!!!!
“The passenger side of the car, to the right of mine, was perfectly fine. The driver’s side was completely scraped and ruined.”
-ok ur “wife” was in serious danger n u decide to treat her like a pos? damnit u deserve to die right now >.<
"I realized that the wife needed to be punished, just like a child, for her driving errors"
-its called your insurance goes up, u have no right in punishing her… she is a full grown woman!
"I’m just happy it wasn’t worse. Imagine had she totalled the car or ran into one of the other autos in our garage."
-and if she died????????????????????????????????????
"There needs to be some sort of safety code for them to following, with a disciplinary system for if they drive in ways that we don’t find pleasing."
-they already have tht, its called highway patrol and those cops who sit n hide so they can catch speeders n unhealthy drivers. you sir FAIL.
"In time hopefully we can reduce the incidence of women drivers altogether. There are some activies that are just better suited to the Sons of Adam"
-u kno women are gentler than men, and in being so they tend to b more careful not only on the road, but everywhere! its usually men tht drive unsafely n put others in danger, but tht doesnt mean tht there are NO unsafe women drivers..
alltogether, what im trying to say is tht you suck and really dont deserve your so called "wife and children" or anyone for tht matter if ur going to treat them this way….
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5:27 pm
Why are you females reading things that don’t concern you? Get in the kitchen and cook something. And when dinner is ready, you better get your husbands a martini and be prepared to sit on the floor and rub your husband’s feet. That’s what a good wife would do. Maybe you two aren’t even married. You’re probably lesbians. So maybe you’re married. To each other. You’ll both burn in hell.
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11:02 pm
Oh, I am sure all of that actually happened, WHEN your dream of actually having a wife comes true. Sometimes though really WANTING something can help -really it does. It’s the most Christian thing to do, so continue wishing! I hope one day you can really live out this ‘imaginary marriage’ of yours. Good luck!
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12:30 am
YOU ARE ONE SEXIST MAN MR! Women are the backbone of the world! If you were just going to mooch off of the poor lady, why the heck did you marry her?! Women are meant to be respected just like anyone else. They deserve their civil rights just as men do. You don’t seem very Christian to me!
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1:44 am
Christwire.Com a joke? I think so firat of all if thats the attitude of a “christian man” a.k.a. the writer, you are a horrible person. First of all i am a male and i treat women with respect the way they should be. And quite frankly you are a piece of shit for treating someone male or female that way… you are horribly sexist. You cant call yourself a christian, because quite frankly if Jesus was here now he would have slapped tge shit outta you. Please stop calling yourself a christian because quite honestly its people like you that make people really question christianity. Thank you and go fuck yourself
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2:05 am
Pussy whats the address you gonna talk shit about women and the be afraid of her thats really funny props to you claire for calling an asshole like that out. Its a shame that the accident didnt envolve running you over.
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2:06 am
You as in the writer not claire*
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