• Husbands, Do Not Let Your Women Drive

    October 22, 2009 1:50 am 14 comments
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  • Today as I arrived home from a long day at the office, my wife did not have supper prepared. Somewhat vexed by not having the warm, succelent scents of herbs and spices wafting through my home to my nose, I quickly ordered to children to bring the woman to me.

    Why had my wife not completed her duty in ensuring I had a proper meal when entering the home?

    When she came before me in the study, I could instantly tell something was wrong. Her eyes were beset by guilt. Had she done the unthinkable? Did she dare question my authority, or even far worse, was going to complain about her laundry or kid-taking errands like I hear other wives tend to do?

    My heart was heavy and I really thought that perhaps a Godly incentive upon her cheek would I have to place. Before I could even clear my thoughts or questions, the truth emerged:

    “Honey, I kinda wrecked my car today.”

    As a concerned husband, I instantly ran out to the garage to check the condition of the CLK coupe. Nothing is more important that the health of your lovely cars, as they are indicators of how much God smiles upon your family.

    The passenger side of the car, to the right of mine, was perfectly fine. The driver’s side was completely scraped and ruined. How did it happen?

    The woman was applying make-up as she pulled into a gas station, and deeply sidescrabed a metalic bar to the side of a bump.

    Women are truly at times a woe unto man, and that’s why Adam chose to name Even and all of her daughters WoeMan. They are a lovely burden.

    There is just no properly repairing a CLK when it is ruined; it is going to be let go. This is not a problem because today I realized that the wife needed to be punished, just like a child, for her driving errors.

    For a month I have taken away her license and she may only have it back once she demonstrates respect and decency to my possessions. The fact that she hurt the car so much, for makeup, is truly disrespectful and I’m just happy it wasn’t worse. Imagine had she totalled the car or ran into one of the other autos in our garage.

    At any rate, husbands, we should be in the practice of evaluating our wive’s driving habits at least several times a year. We trust them with our cars and the lives of our children. There needs to be some sort of safety code for them to following, with a disciplinary system for if they drive in ways that we don’t find pleasing.

    In time hopefully we can reduce the incidence of women drivers altogether. There are some activies that are just better suited to the Sons of Adam.

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    About The Author
    Chuck Reagan Bringing back morality one kneecap at a time.

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