In Latest Palin Family Twist, Levi and Track Mulling Porn Roles
Forced from Alaska’s governorship due to mounting legal bills, Sarah Palin is feeling the pinch. Now her son and the father of her grandson are embarking on an unorthodox fundraising approach: posing for male pornography. This revelation comes as Governor Palin faces several lawsuits and investigations in her home state. Ironically, it is her former running mate John McCain’s own political finance reform bill that has prevented Palin from dipping into her campaign and political action committee funds to fight off a host of charges brought by several democrat activist groups.
For Levi Johnston, the 19-year old father of Bristol Palin’s son, the $25,000 offer to pose naked for nude magazine Playgirl comes at a time when his financial prospects as well as his relations with the Palin family are strained. The high school dropout did not keep a promise he made during the 2008 Presidential campaign to marry Sarah and Todd’s daughter and followed this with a string of embarrassing public statements, ranging from details of the unprotected sex marathons he had with 17-year old Bristol in the governor’s mansion, to claims that Governor Palin is a “snob” who is incapable of firing a rifle. Johnston has also left his job as an oilfield apprentice electrician to go Hollywood. He now moves around New York, Los Angeles and Anchorage with a posse that includes a bodyguard, personal trainer, lawyer and publicity experts who have crafted him into a hunky heartthrob for teen girls everywhere, from the Great White North to the Deep South.

Levi is currently spending six days a week working out at a local Anchorage gym with former Mr. Alaska, Marvin Jones. His lawyer has stated that he wants a glistening, hard body to show off in the November 6th New York City Playgirl photoshoot (possibly in the pink company van that cruises the Williamsburg neighborhood for hot prospects). Johnston’s new tight pecs and abs are clearly evident in the commercial he shot recently for Wonderful Brand Pistachios. In the ad, he bursts out of a tight-fitting green t-shirt with a chest you could bounce a quarter on. Daniel Nardicio, a Playgirl staffer and notorious New York City homosexual, has been keeping close tabs on the newly-minted Johnston. When he’s not promoting his private illicit basement sex parties where jockstrap-clad Latin masseurs and big-wigged transvestites frolic with drug-addled runaways and upper crust “sugar daddies,” Nardicio has been flying up to Alaska on a weekly basis to check in on Levi’s progress. Nardicio is the one who negotiated Mr. Johnston’s underwear off. Now Bristol’s ex-fiancé has agreed to pose with completely frontal and backside nudity. Despite the fact that local gym spies have been reporting that Levi has been spending more time sweating in the steamroom than on the Nautilus machines and that he can be disappointingly tumescent, Playgirl is standing by the big payout. Hopefully this will be a one off experience and will give Mr. Johnston the money he needs to support the governor’s grandchild.

For Track Palin, no specific agreement has been made and the ex-governor’s staff has not vetted any pornography deals. But representatives from several homosexual websites have expressed a strong desire to strike a lucrative deal with the former jock. One filth purveyor specializing in “Broke Straight Boys” seems to be leading the man pack. This gay website features, according to an independent investigator unaffiliated with Christwire, “All-American heterosexual boys in jock attire experimenting with various intimate postures.”
Track, who had been accused of womanizing and marijuana use as a troubled teen, was arrested for vandalizing an entire school bus fleet in 2005 and was sent to Portage, Michigan to finish high school. He did develop a fine body as a fantastic hockey player there and later, serving honorably in the United States Military with the Artic Wolves. It is these traits along with his characteristically Palin charisma, experts say, which easily could land him triple Levi Johnston’s deal.

This could go a long way in solving the governor’s current financial woes, which the Palin son has privately expressed an interest in resolving. One sticky point, however, is that Track would have to shave his hairy chest for the “Broke Straight Boys” company (as this is some sort of prerequisite for homosexually-themed photography, as well as shaving the rest of his body parts for that “twinkie” look which is all the rave amongst gays these days).
Will Track shed his rugged Alaskan furscape to resolve his mother’s legal woes so she can embark on a 2012 campaign with a clean slate? Only time will tell.

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- Laughing Out Loud

9:41 pm
Stephenson you crazy yank one of those photos is obviously photoshopped you so-called investigative journalist you are just a blogger a real journalist would do research first. You are obviously a closeted homosexual with you obsession with shirtless men.
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1:01 am
its sad that levi kid could get so desperate to do porn. he got in the spotlight when gov palin took him there, he could have done so much good but instead he goes all celebrity and thinks he can make movies and commercials? his work is junk. if he hadnt knocked up the governors daughter hed still be a nobody with a junkie mom. it pathetic because i think it reflects bad on palin but she’ll get over this crumb. most people will see him for what he is.
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1:05 am
I agree! This boy is just trying to proftit from the Sarah Palin name. If he had any decency he wouldn’t do this. He probably thinks this is revenge but the people who support Palin won’t be fooled. Everyone will forget this scandal in a month and its matter during election time. I just think its sad for the grandson. How a father do this? Is he so desperte?
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2:31 pm
Yes Levi is certainly trying to take advantage of Palin’s fame. You always have people like this trying to ride some famous person’s coattails. It’s a bad example, but think of the Lohan, Hilton and Spears families. They’re all full of people trying to make money off of each other’s notoriety. For Palin, it’s unfortunate because she’s genuinely trying to do some good for this country.
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1:20 am
Palin was lousy as gov and lousy as a parent. Who lets their kids have sex and get pregnant at 17 all the while claming to be this big moral leader? She is full of crap and no one should take her seriously.The fact that these boys are doing this sort of thing shows how clueless she was about her kid’s lives. She should protect as a parent but was too busy shooting buffalo from airplanes.
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2:15 pm
Candidate Palin will have to address this pornography controversy at some point. I will be fascinated to hear what she thinks. It must be a very hard time on her family right now.
And again, I do think these photos are revealing for what that’s worth. I posted them because they are G-rated and Track is a good looking young man.
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9:54 pm
I found a website with his proof
http://www.adobe.com/products/photoshop/photoshop/
Personally I have CS3 but there is CS4
What version did you use for the photographs billings?
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10:10 pm
I am on a fence about this one. One hand, I think its great the boys want to save Sarah Palin and the family, its awful what those activists did to her. On the other porno stuff is not good and how will they be fathers later on knowing this is in the past? it will come back and haunt them.
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1:03 am
i don’t believe it about Track. He’s still serving in Iraq but Bristol’s ex is a slime. No body wants to see his chubby tummy in that old magazine.
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1:39 pm
It’s not soooo tummy
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10:57 pm
As a Christian, this is something that I can look past when casting my vote for Palin in 2012. Her strong desire to grasp the tallest position in our government is undeniable. She truly carries within her the hopes and dreams of all mankind.
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11:59 pm
Sarah Palin is an idiot but who knows you yanks elected George W. Bush one day she might end as president but I hope not.
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1:08 am
Why are people so against Sarah Palin? She was a great VP choice and many women were excited about her. I think now when she speaks and writes it really touches many people. She knows our heart. And she is a decent person, so what about the family problems? Everybody has them and I think its great she is stronger because of all this. She’s still a great Mother.
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12:15 am
Stephenson Billings is a internet comedy writer. I hope.
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1:16 am
ADMIT IT YOU WANT TO DOWNLOAD SOME REPUBLICAN JOCK ON REPUBLICAN JOCK ACTION!
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1:25 am
Phoning Jessica Hahn! Whatever happened to her anyway after Jim Bakker and Playboy? I’m sure Levi will have the same career path. Probably marry some trucker and move to Juneau.
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1:41 pm
I just want the whole Palin Family to go away.
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1:27 am
Playgirl closed down last year
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4:49 am
Billings you bad bad boy! have i not told you to stop photoshoping photos of other poeple down in that basement!
Its high time you got out of there and got a job and stoped leeching of me you no god son
i feel so ashamed of you
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2:08 pm
I received the Track Palin images via email and the sender insists on their authenticity. Regardless, the rest of my story is a bit frightening and true. The news about the Levi and the Palin boy have been reported all over the web so stop trying to flaunt your basement concocted conspiracy theories on me.
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2:37 pm
wow, really? those photos are CLEARLY photoshopped. oh but im sorry, since someone told you in an email theyre authentic, then they must be. because of course everything on the internet is true *rolls eyes*
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2:50 pm
Why are you nutjobs going on and on about the photos? I really don’t care. Track is clearly a handsome buff young man, who cares if the hair is real? You’re just trying to discredit the larger issues here and obscuring this whole thing with your democrat party talking points.
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6:28 am
To Stephenson Billings, from a man who hopes to educate him:
Photoshopping the photos does not mean they increased or decreased the amount of chest hair in the photo. Photoshopping, especially in the case of celebrities, usually means transplanting a photograph of the celebrity’s face onto a photograph of a (semi-) pornographic body.
Look at the face in the “Jock legs in the air” photograph. Specifically, the strange, angular, oddly-shaded join between the neck and head. If you look at the (our) left side of his head, you can see an odd, unnatural highlight between his hair and the hand. His face’s skin tone is also markedly different from that of the rest of his body.
Look at the highlights on the right-hand side of the face in the “Rugged alaskan furscape” photograph, and then look at the lighting on the body- it’s clearly lit from the left, as you can tell by looking at the shadow underneath his right armpit. If you look carefully, you can see a marked change in the skin tone along a line halfway along his right shoulder, where it changes from the ruddy red of his face to the more yellowy skin tone of his body.
And, you will notice, the builds in the two photographs are completely different- the Jock Legs photo, for starters, has shaved, hairless arms and armpits, and a slight, athletic build, whereas the Furscape photo has hairy arms and armpits and a buff, rugged build.
Even novice Photoshop users (Photoshop is a piece of professional-grade photo-editing software; “photoshopping” used as a verb means to alter photographs or images with Photoshop) can easily see these tell-tale clues; it takes a long time to learn the skills to fix them. These photos have been sent to you in an effort to trick you and make you look like a fool. I daresay they have succeeded.
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6:45 am
I didn’t include those photos so perverts like you could get their jollies. It’s rather offensive to me that you’ve lathered yourself up so studying them so close. You disgust me.
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7:02 am
I am not a pervert. I am a photoshop professional. I use this program for a living. I got no “jollies” out of analysing the photos for you. I tried to help you.
You do not want to learn.
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10:39 am
first of all, you dont know me so dont call me a democrat, because i assure you i am not. secondly, we are going on and on about the photos because those photos are what you are using as “proof” for this absurd story. these photos are nothing but a farce and so is this story.
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11:13 pm
woody, the moon landings happened. get over yourself. conspiracy nuts. sheesh!
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8:13 am
I would pay $9.95 to see Mr Palin “experimenting with various intimate postures.”
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8:56 am
I think we can all agree this is for a good cause. I will be purchasing the Playgirl issue and any gay movies that Track does to support Governor Palin’s wonderful campaign to take back the White House!
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1:26 pm
Stephenson, Abe, Dan and the rest of the Christfag boy’s cocks are just DRIPPING with anticipation of the release of these porn movies. Fake/Photoshopped images be damned: they want their twink dick now!!!
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1:33 pm
but it can’t be twink if it’s hairy, bro. he gots to shave that chest and save his mom.
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2:36 pm
Fake Adam, you have a completely disgusting brain. I presented this story to point out a deep moral puzzle that we Christian conservatives must address as we prepare for 2012. I don’t know how this issue will play out, but we must start strategizing about it now. As for your insulting suggestion that any of the men here have an immoral interest in these boys, please save you libel for whatever college common room you smoke American Spirits in while watching CSI and hitting on art history majors with unwashed hair.
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1:45 pm
Can you seriously make a article that doesn’t have the word ‘homosexual’ in it? I think you’re obsessed on an unhealthy level.
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1:51 pm
This boy is only a teenager and he’s going to pose in his birthday suit for a porn magazine. Why isn’t anyone upset about this? I think it’s wrong morally and should be legally wrong too. I can’t believe his parents are okay with this. He needs Bristol Palin in his life to stop this sort of crazy acting out.
I can’t even imagine how these pictures would even come close to embarrassing Palin. She’s not his mother, she didn’t raise him, he’s not married to her daughter. But it does give the family something to use in court when they want to take the baby away from him. Why should a porn model get parental visitation? He should not be allowed near that child again. And using it in photo shoots? Thats just wrong!
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5:51 pm
Wow, those photos are so clearly photoshopped it’s not even funny.
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7:27 am
“Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him.” –John 3:36
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10:42 am
there you go again, using scripture that has NOTHING to do with the post youre commenting on. if you want this to be a professional news site, take your proselytizing elsewhere. otherwise dont call this news, this is nothing but a few angry holier-than-thou christian extremists pushing their views on people.
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3:28 pm
“Do you like green eggs and ham?
I do not like them, Sam-I-am. I do not like green eggs and ham.
Would you like them here or there?
I would not like them here or there.
I would not like them anywhere.”
…we’re posting random quotes that have absolutely nothing to do with the subject at hand, right?
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11:58 am
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2:11 am
A tipster emailed me this photographic evidence of Track Palin’s willingness to disrobe for the camera. Thankfully, the Christwire tech team has censored the naughty bit, but the truth is evident here (I believe this is an older, shaved-chest version of Mr. Palin’s look). I do find his willingness to do naked disconcerting, but maybe it’s all meant to rescue his family from what the liberals have done to them.
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2:54 am
So, Mr. Billings, do you notice that the person in the photograph you have presented has no tattoos, nor any body hair? Do you see how this is immensely different in terms of quality from the other photographs you have posted, photographs that you claim are fo the same person?
Are you going to accuse me of being a homosexual again, simply to avoid answering questions or learning from your mistakes? Because, believe me, it would take me by complete surprise, let me assure you. Or are you going to reply with another bible quote that has nothing to do with my assertions?
Or, are you going to admit that you made a mistake and are willing to learn?
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8:02 am
And now you pulled the image. For those of you who missed out on seeing an unadulterated shot of the Palin boy, let me describe it for you: He’s tall, mildly muscular, not nearly as hairy as the images above show, and he has the Christwire logo suggestively- cheekily, perhaps- overlaid on his man-bits, presumably as a form of censorship. Also, he was puckering up.
Stephenson Billings, you are a hypocrite and a coward.
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6:55 pm
Is this entire site a joke?
Or is a bunch of retards trying to make a joke based upon reality?
The stupidity of the ultra right never ceases to amuse me. Sadly, I’d like to think this entire site is an “Onion” type of joke, but unfortunately, there are truly idiots out there that SWEAR by stupidity of this nature.
Please tell me that this is a joke.
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6:59 pm
its wrong you mock a serious good political leader like that with your name there.
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10:15 pm
Even Christwire thinks Billings is a faggot.
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