• In Latest Palin Family Twist, Levi and Track Mulling Porn Roles

    October 12, 2009 8:46 pm 45 comments

    Palin porn

    Forced from Alaska’s governorship due to mounting legal bills, Sarah Palin is feeling the pinch. Now her son and the father of her grandson are embarking on an unorthodox fundraising approach: posing for male pornography. This revelation comes as Governor Palin faces several lawsuits and investigations in her home state. Ironically, it is her former running mate John McCain’s own political finance reform bill that has prevented Palin from dipping into her campaign and political action committee funds to fight off a host of charges brought by several democrat activist groups.

    For Levi Johnston, the 19-year old father of Bristol Palin’s son, the $25,000 offer to pose naked for nude magazine Playgirl comes at a time when his financial prospects as well as his relations with the Palin family are strained. The high school dropout did not keep a promise he made during the 2008 Presidential campaign to marry Sarah and Todd’s daughter and followed this with a string of embarrassing public statements, ranging from details of the unprotected sex marathons he had with 17-year old Bristol in the governor’s mansion, to claims that Governor Palin is a “snob” who is incapable of firing a rifle. Johnston has also left his job as an oilfield apprentice electrician to go Hollywood. He now moves around New York, Los Angeles and Anchorage with a posse that includes a bodyguard, personal trainer, lawyer and publicity experts who have crafted him into a hunky heartthrob for teen girls everywhere, from the Great White North to the Deep South.

    Palin porn

    Levi is currently spending six days a week working out at a local Anchorage gym with former Mr. Alaska, Marvin Jones. His lawyer has stated that he wants a glistening, hard body to show off in the November 6th New York City Playgirl photoshoot (possibly in the pink company van that cruises the Williamsburg neighborhood for hot prospects). Johnston’s new tight pecs and abs are clearly evident in the commercial he shot recently for Wonderful Brand Pistachios. In the ad, he bursts out of a tight-fitting green t-shirt with a chest you could bounce a quarter on. Daniel Nardicio, a Playgirl staffer and notorious New York City homosexual, has been keeping close tabs on the newly-minted Johnston. When he’s not promoting his private illicit basement sex parties where jockstrap-clad Latin masseurs and big-wigged transvestites frolic with drug-addled runaways and upper crust “sugar daddies,” Nardicio has been flying up to Alaska on a weekly basis to check in on Levi’s progress. Nardicio is the one who negotiated Mr. Johnston’s underwear off. Now Bristol’s ex-fiancé has agreed to pose with completely frontal and backside nudity. Despite the fact that local gym spies have been reporting that Levi has been spending more time sweating in the steamroom than on the Nautilus machines and that he can be disappointingly tumescent, Playgirl is standing by the big payout. Hopefully this will be a one off experience and will give Mr. Johnston the money he needs to support the governor’s grandchild.

    Palin porn

    For Track Palin, no specific agreement has been made and the ex-governor’s staff has not vetted any pornography deals. But representatives from several homosexual websites have expressed a strong desire to strike a lucrative deal with the former jock. One filth purveyor specializing in “Broke Straight Boys” seems to be leading the man pack. This gay website features, according to an independent investigator unaffiliated with Christwire, “All-American heterosexual boys in jock attire experimenting with various intimate postures.”

    Track, who had been accused of womanizing and marijuana use as a troubled teen, was arrested for vandalizing an entire school bus fleet in 2005 and was sent to Portage, Michigan to finish high school. He did develop a fine body as a fantastic hockey player there and later, serving honorably in the United States Military with the Artic Wolves. It is these traits along with his characteristically Palin charisma, experts say, which easily could land him triple Levi Johnston’s deal.

    Palin porn

    This could go a long way in solving the governor’s current financial woes, which the Palin son has privately expressed an interest in resolving. One sticky point, however, is that Track would have to shave his hairy chest for the “Broke Straight Boys” company (as this is some sort of prerequisite for homosexually-themed photography, as well as shaving the rest of his body parts for that “twinkie” look which is all the rave amongst gays these days).
    Will Track shed his rugged Alaskan furscape to resolve his mother’s legal woes so she can embark on a 2012 campaign with a clean slate? Only time will tell.

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    About The Author
    Stephenson Billings Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package! Facebook me here or Fanmail me: StephensonBillings@yahoo.com !

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