The Golden Girls: How One TV Show Turned A Generation Of American Boys Into Homosexuals
The Golden Girls television program was never much to look at. A foursome of Florida geriatrics getting agitated about pharmacy bills and shoulder pads– who could ever find such a thing interesting? But somehow these perky and absurd women wormed their ways into America’s homes for an 8-year run in the 1980s. Maybe it was our desire to see our grandmothers having fun that encouraged us to watch. Maybe we wanted to believe old age wasn’t dominated by infections and hip problems, loneliness and crushing depression before death finally stomps us out like the acrid end of a damp cigarette.
The most unexpected segment of this show’s fanbase was America’s young men. In the 80s, these were boys too delicate for sports, too awkward for girls, too “artistic” for labor-intensive work and too flamboyant for peer acceptance in high school. With no real adults in sight, these poor children became obsessed with the poorly conceived characters on this show. Desperate for a firm hand in their lives, they gravitated to the subversive undercurrent of masculinity in these aged matrons.
Many studies have been done on why the gays love The Golden Girls, but science can’t fathom the moral challenges and social upheaval of those historic times. The 1980s was an epoch of President Reagan’s manly wisdom and the terrifying threat of Cold War annihilation. America had sobered up from the flashy lights of 1970s disco. We were skipping all night cocaine and sex parties to focus on our careers. Spiritual leaders like Jerry Falwell were telling us that Christianity was in the majority again. On the other side, there was a subculture of homosexuality creeping up on our youths. It gave them an excuse to wear tight jeans and to sneak off to public parks for quick releases with hairy men of different ethnicities.
THE GOLDEN GIRLS GAY AGENDA
It was only to be expected that our lonely boys exposed to these conflicted times would succumb to the nagging Golden Girls agenda. These were slender, unathletic children who were left out of the fun militarism of the Reagan years. Skyrocketing divorce rates ruined their faith in traditional relationships. Rock groups like Duran Duran and Styx encouraged big hair and overactive libidos. The show lit a match which enflamed their intense physical urges. With the utmost cruelty and immorality, The Golden Girls seized upon this opportunity to cross the hormonal wires of America’s lost generation.
The results were disastrous. Our horny, lonely boys sought out intimate comforts with likeminded Golden Girls addicts who didn’t mind each other’s theatrical voices and touch-feely hand gestures. Together, these clusters of awkward teens and twentysomethings bonded over their favorite episodes and characters, mimicking the voices and gowns of their tv friends. When the rush of cheesecake and gabfests wore thin, these hairless boys needed a harder thrill. They were so desperate for the next big trend they turned to same-sex sexual experimentation. What woman would have them now, anyway? This led to the worse excesses of early homosexual visibility– the most enormous of drag queens, the dirtiest of leather daddies, the most enticing of twinkie boys, androgyny, overeating, public sex and the birth of “camp.”
THOSE THREE DIRTY OLD LADIES
If you walk down the street today and bump into a middle-aged homosexual, chances are that the nasty comeback he will shout at you is something he picked up from Dorothy Zbornak of the Golden Girls. Played by noted liberal activist and Archie Bunker-foe Bea Arthur, Dorothy had a hard, masculine voice. She was cold and quick-tempered. She taught our modern butt rompers to disparage everyone in their orbit. She schooled them on insulting people’s clothing choices, body odors, organ sizes and educations. Dorothy taught the gays to speak very fast and have the most superior attitude possible. This formula has worked for many of your urban leather daddies and flaming queens, who attack with the swiftness of a ninja. It often happens that by the time I figure out what the insulting gay man has said to me, he is long gone (probably off groping someone’s son in a Sears lavatory). For others, and here I’m talking about your waiters and retail salesmen, Dorothy has given them permission to be two-faced. They smile at you through gritted teeth when you tell them to keep their nail polished fingers off the edge of your pasta dish or when you make them promise that they won’t peek while you’re trying on a swimsuit in the dressing room. Beneath that smile is a sneer. These gays really hate you for your Christianity and your gold card, your mature good looks or the fact you lead a handsome camping group into the hushed mountains of Tennessee. In whatever afterlife world she inhabits, Bea Arthur is surely pleased by your outrageous outrages, you homosexual anarchists of America.
Blanche Devereaux, played by Rue McClanahan on the show, is one of the sluttiest sluts around. She will do anything to get anyone into her bedroom for hours of offensive copulation irregardless of her aging orifices. Like many contemporary gays, she also demands expensive dinners and presents from her “dates” and takes special pride in catching the rich ones. Blanche’s promiscuity is a common model for the personal lives of today’s homosexuals. Most gay relationships last a week. It is no coincidence that this is the amount of time between Golden Girl episodes when they first aired on primetime. Blanche’s appearances on the show taught today’s 30-something homosexuals that you need a new strange man on your arm every seven days or else your viewers/friends will lose interest in your life’s plot. Sadly, with the Golden Girls in weeknight syndication, the youngest gays have confused this timetable to mean they need five new boyfriends a week. Their sexual adventures have become both shockingly fast and befuddling to their next-door neighbors and Twitter followers alike.
Rose Nylund, played by x-rated comedienne Betty White, was added to the show as a sort of comic relief to the other more serious characters. She is thoroughly dimwitted. Her clueless acting style makes me cringe at her obvious senility. Senility is not at all funny, but the careless creators of this awfulness used her stupidity for a relentless barrage of immature jokes. Once again, Rose’s most salient trait was picked up and celebrated by the gay community. Every buff beefcake I’ve ever met has been tremendously brainless. They can bump out the beats to any Madonna song on a club railing, but are incapable of telling you the difference between Acapulco and an avocado. They lack the concentration to finish reading your text message, let alone a fantastic website article you may have forwarded to them. Most homosexuals love to gallop around a conversation, yammering out a bunch of big phrases to show you how smart they are. The truth is that if they slowed down for a minute you would see that the Lady Gaga references, truckstop handjob stories and Kevin Jennings defenses don’t add up to an intellectual argument. They’re just random phrases strung together by psychotropically-medicated, carnally-motivated ridiculous libertines glazed with moisturizer.
For Florida, The Golden Girls completely ruined the reality of Miami’s masculine reputation. It was no longer a city of Scarface and Miami Vice. The Cuban machismo and gorgeous Ferraris melted in the face of lengthy canasta games and comfortable paisley chairs. And then the gays came marching in to South Beach. Not even CSI Miami can win the city back for the straights.
WILL THE GAYS LIVE “GOLDEN GIRL” STYLE IN RETIREMENT?
Today, as this crowd ages we have to wonder what comes next for the Golden Girl generation of American homosexuals. They’re turning 40 and 50 now. Their hair is thinning, their waistlines expanding, their cachet in the cultural scene is long past. Most have settled into heavily mortgaged condos or bungalows in gentrified neighborhoods, bitter at their mid-level jobs with zero hope of becoming a CEO to make their fathers proud. Many are too old at this point to be pursuing anonymous street pickups and have settled into caustic relationships that are only monogamous out of mutual laziness. Maybe they find weekend solace in amateur photography or an overly primped shit-zu.
In a dozen years, the next logical step for these people is Florida. Will we see whole sections of this state devoted to horny gay retirees sporting the worst 1980s fashions? High pants and feathered hair and modern architecture? Will they follow in the lusty steps of their forebears, the Golden Girls? When all these gays are in such close proximity to each other, will we see a huge upsurge in illicit homosexual elderly trysts? Will they vote out Florida’s married Christian Republican leaders, like Governor Charlie Crist? Will they embrace any and every cutting edge social issue that will be hip in 2020? Personally, I do not look forward to the day when we’re having moral debates about robot sex, gay jetpacks or houseplant marriage. And worst of all, will the next generation of television executives see the need for a new Golden Girls show featuring silver daddies, poppa bears, wankers on walkers and 50-year old twinks who sit on your lap and suck Metamucil lollipops? America, I will be turning off my tv for good in 2019 just in case.
http://www.goldengirlscentral.com/
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Stephenson Billings
Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package! Facebook me here or Fanmail me: StephensonBillings@yahoo.com !
2:28 pm
“Most gay relationships last a week.”
Source?
“your mature good looks”
You think awfully high of yourself.
“or the fact you lead a handsome camping group into the hushed mountains of Tennessee.”
…where nobody can hear the screams of the boys while you sodomize them…
“let alone a fantastic website article you may have forwarded to them.”
Stop licking your own balls!
“They’re just random phrases strung together by psychotropically-medicated, carnally-motivated ridiculous libertines glazed with moisturizer.”
You mean like your articles?
“It was no longer a city of Scarface and Miami Vice.”
Ok, so the deplorable violence of “Scarface” is okay, while a show about some old ladies who are tolerant of homosexuality is wrong?
“Their hair is thinning, their waistlines expanding, their cachet in the cultural scene is long past.”
Hmm, you might want to take a look at yourself in the mirror before throwing out those accusations…
“or an overly primped shit-zu.”
It’s shih-tzu, not shit-zu, you fucktard.
This article is rife with unfounded assumptions. Just to name a few:
“With no real adults in sight, these poor children became obsessed with the poorly conceived characters on this show. Desperate for a firm hand in their lives, they gravitated to the subversive undercurrent of masculinity in these aged matrons.”
“It was only to be expected that our lonely boys exposed to these conflicted times would succumb to the nagging Golden Girls agenda. These were slender, unathletic children who were left out of the fun militarism of the Reagan years. Skyrocketing divorce rates ruined their faith in traditional relationships. Rock groups like Duran Duran and Styx encouraged big hair and overactive libidos. The show lit a match which enflamed their intense physical urges.”
“When the rush of cheesecake and gabfests wore thin, these hairless boys needed a harder thrill. They were so desperate for the next big trend they turned to same-sex sexual experimentation.”
“If you walk down the street today and bump into a middle-aged homosexual, chances are that the nasty comeback he will shout at you is something he picked up from Dorothy Zbornak of the Golden Girls.”
“(probably off groping someone’s son in a Sears lavatory).”
“Beneath that smile is a sneer. These gays really hate you for your Christianity and your gold card, your mature good looks or the fact you lead a handsome camping group into the hushed mountains of Tennessee.”
“Like many contemporary gays, she also demands expensive dinners and presents from her “dates” and takes special pride in catching the rich ones. Blanche’s promiscuity is a common model for the personal lives of today’s homosexuals. Most gay relationships last a week.”
“Blanche’s appearances on the show taught today’s 30-something homosexuals that you need a new strange man on your arm every seven days or else your viewers/friends will lose interest in your life’s plot. Sadly, with the Golden Girls in weeknight syndication, the youngest gays have confused this timetable to mean they need five new boyfriends a week. Their sexual adventures have become both shockingly fast and befuddling to their next-door neighbors and Twitter followers alike.”
“Every buff beefcake I’ve ever met has been tremendously brainless. They can bump out the beats to any Madonna song on a club railing, but are incapable of telling you the difference between Acapulco and an avocado. They lack the concentration to finish reading your text message, let alone a fantastic website article you may have forwarded to them. Most homosexuals love to gallop around a conversation, yammering out a bunch of big phrases to show you how smart they are. The truth is that if they slowed down for a minute you would see that the Lady Gaga references, truckstop handjob stories and Kevin Jennings defenses don’t add up to an intellectual argument. They’re just random phrases strung together by psychotropically-medicated, carnally-motivated ridiculous libertines glazed with moisturizer.”
“Today, as this crowd ages we have to wonder what comes next for the Golden Girl generation of American homosexuals. They’re turning 40 and 50 now. Their hair is thinning, their waistlines expanding, their cachet in the cultural scene is long past. Most have settled into heavily mortgaged condos or bungalows in gentrified neighborhoods, bitter at their mid-level jobs with zero hope of becoming a CEO to make their fathers proud. Many are too old at this point to be pursuing anonymous street pickups and have settled into caustic relationships that are only monogamous out of mutual laziness. Maybe they find weekend solace in amateur photography or an overly primped shit-zu.”
With mindless assumptions such as those, you have no right calling yourself a journalist. What’s incredibly sad is that those quotes I listed above constituted the MAJORITY of your article.
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3:53 pm
Claire, stating “I don’t agree with the following” and then posting my entire article does not constitute a counter argument. Are you a little cloudy headed this murky Saturday? I guess you probably stayed up too late listening to the Jonas Brothers and facebooking boys again.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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4:26 pm
I posted your “entire article” because your ENTIRE ARTICLE was unfounded assumptions. And your last sentence is only proving my point:
“I guess you probably stayed up too late listening to the Jonas Brothers and facebooking boys again.”
1. I HATE the Jonas Brothers. I’m 19 years old for fuck’s sake!
2. I don’t “facebook” boys. I have a facebook, but I rarely use it, and when I do, I most certainly don’t use it to communicate with boys.
In case you’re too dense to understand what my point is, this is my point:
YOU MAKE UNFOUNDED ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT PEOPLE YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW
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4:29 pm
Claire, please chill out! You’re acting wild again. And of course my article is thought-provoking! It’s a controversial subject and surely some people are too devoted to this show to see its negative effects. Calm down, others will understand my point even if you don’t.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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4:34 pm
“And of course my article is thought-provoking!”
And where the fuck did I say that?
“It’s a controversial subject and surely some people are too devoted to this show to see its negative effects.”
I’m not devoted to the show at all – I haven’t even SEEN the fucking thing. However, I am devoted to my gay friends, and I don’t appreciate it when hurtful, false accusations are made about them simply because of a TV show.
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1:21 am
Could I just briefly mention, you don’t actually make any points.
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1:29 pm
although thought provoking i suppose
I stop giving this article any chance of revalant insight when the autor used “irregardless”
Praise or Condemn:
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5:25 pm
Stephenson Billings, you just love stroking your own ego don’t you? Thought provoking? Is that what you think this ‘article’ is? It is overblown pedantic rant about the evils of homosexual and ‘immoral’ matrons on prime time 80′s television. Your claims are unfounded. Your assumptions absurd, and your assertion that homosexual are unintelligent is offensive.
I am a homosexual man, 20 years old, who happens to enjoy the Golden Girls. I do not however, nor do I know any middle aged homosexuals, you will insult you if you run in to them. If you ran into me I would most likely apologize as a sign of mutual respect. I do not spot of random phrases to feign intelligence. I do not hate you for your Christianity, or any of the other reasons you tromped to make homosexuals seem like bigots. I respect your beliefs.
It is obvious that you do not have any substantiated, though provoking arguments when you turn to name calling and homophobic stereotypes as the basis for an article. Could you please join us ‘premicious,’ ‘one week’ relationship having gays in the arena of respectful intellectual discourse?
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8:17 pm
Your response sounds exactly like something someone that watched Golden Girls would say!
Hot debate. What do you think?
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8:10 pm
This comment system sucks. This is in reply to Claire: you’ve gone into great detail trying to help this guy! My husband (take that, marriage!) shut down and quit reading at the word “irregardless,” the “unforgivable sin” of the English language. Nevermind his Grand Guignol Gay vision of the world. The article is hilarious, but it does serve to remind us all that even if nobody in the real world SAYS these things, this is what they really believe. Even if this is a parody site, parody is just the extension of an existing paradigm into the absurd.
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10:50 am
I find this article to be horrendously insensitive not only to the gay community – which the author obviously knows nothing about – but also to the fans of “The Golden Girls” – a delightful commedy which invited us to laugh at ourselves as we grapple with life’s realities. How tragic that the author of the piece in question has such a narrow and unchristlike view of life.
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5:43 pm
Oh Claire, you must be so proud of yourself with all these homosexuals putting you on their gold spray-painted pedestal.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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8:12 am
Good one Janice… You must have went to a special school.. in my school years, 99.0% of all of my test only went up to 100… you scored higher? WOW! Give you a cookie and a glass of high protein soy milk….
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9:43 pm
102 good ratings claire! i bet you nevered score that much on school tests!
Hot debate. What do you think?
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7:56 pm
Apparently you “nevered” did either…
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11:05 pm
Bet you are a real bitch. If god was real, he would smite you poor ignorant people, christ-freaks who put down the gay community don’t deserve the respect shown to an ant.
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9:24 pm
It is people like you that prove to me that there is no “God” and that Christianity is bull. You preach love and tolerence, but only if the people you “love and tolerate” are just like you. How about you actually try loving people, and that means ALL people, regardless of how you personally feel about their lifestyle choices. I truly hope that this is a joke website, but I am afraid that it is not.
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9:26 pm
It is people like you that prove to me that there is no “God” and that Christianity is bull. You preach love and tolerence, but only if the people you “love and tolerate” are just like you. How about you actually try loving people, and that means ALL people, regardless of how you personally feel about their lifestyle choices. I truly hope that this is a joke website, but I am afraid that it is not.
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10:35 pm
I love stuff like this – way better than any parody that The Onion could make up. Please keep entertaining us with this wacko bullshit.
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5:04 pm
That’s exactly what I said – this is RIGHT out of The Onion, only it’s not on The Onion. Really funny, the author uses the effects of only one source taken completely out of context to back up an ignorant stereotype. It’s exactly what Onion authors are likely required to do, but this one does so without effort.
It’s unfortunate, however, that’s it’s one more person who is spending their energy on creating a bad reputation for people who call themselves “Christians”. For the effort you put into writing this article, you could have actually been actualizing “Christianity”.
I know as well as anyone, there are MANY beings under the name of “Christianity” and it means many things to different people – but the most holy and real Christians I have ever met – and what makes my faith in God/Gaia/The Universe/Love/Us as Humans stronger every day – is that we are all perfect and love is all there is, because God is all there is, and everything else is an illusion. Gay people, straight people, whatever – there are no labels. God is real. Love is real.
And articles like this are funny in the mean time!
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8:16 am
Holy closet case! Another disturbing example of what happens when you deny who you are. Instead of a happy, well-adjusted gay man living a genuine life this guy has chosen to reduce himself to an unfortunate self-loathing voyeur typing yearning articles like this who probably thinks nobody’s on to him.
This is the silliest article I’ve read in ages.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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1:11 pm
This is article is so hilarious! I love it. The author is not serious. It is called satire!! He is satirizing the subject and making ridiculous claims with no factual basis which I think really portrays how stupid anti-gay commentators sound.
Good job!
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12:10 pm
Claire, you took the words… ALL of them… right out my mouth. This article is pompous, unfounded garbage.
No sources, no facts. Just opinion. I’d rather believe in the spaghetti monster than anything this guy is spouting.
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2:49 pm
Claire, and some others:
You realize this is a satire site right?
http://www.google.ca/search?q=christwire&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=Palemoon:en-US:unofficial&client=firefox-a
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4:57 pm
that show is just wrong.proper old women dont act like that! i feel sad for those actresses they make do these tacky things. it must have been awful for they grandkids to see. i blame the writers and tv people for always trying to make retired people into some joke to poke fun at. these people have worked hard life and should get respect. and that has nothing todo with the gays.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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7:00 pm
Sad but true, Janice!
Hot debate. What do you think?
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8:40 pm
to commenters who are not the author:
i understand your anger and frustration with the author, but it never helps an argument to be irrational about it. when presenting an argument against a person such as this particular author, one must stay composed and be calm in order to show the fact that thought this man maybe an irrational fool, you in fact are not.
to the author:
you are a mass of contradictions. 1. you say you are a devout christian, but the first thing that is always drilled into a christians head is learn the bible and believe it is true. you have been shooting down verse after verse of direct quotes from the bible and calling them cliches. you sir are a disgrace to all christians. 2. you also say that all homosexuals shall be struck down to hell but god receives all souls as equals. 3. you say that homosexuals are disgraceful and they comment on trivial things such as clothing, body odor, etc but you comment on men by listing their physical qualities i.e their hair, body, etc etc
you are a arrogant jerk who should stop commenting a delete this article because it is degrading to not only homosexuals, but also people who support those decisions. you shoot down everybody who doesn’t agree with your views. you call them homosexuals and say degrading phrases. a true journalist takes those ideas into account and answers them with calm reasoning. as a debater, the first thing we learn is never make an argument without some basis to support this claim.
here is an author who knows a lot more than you and shows the true characteristics of a journalist who is qualified to post articles on the web:
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2002340883_gayscience19m.html
if you really were a true journalist and whatever the hell else you claim to be you would never react to any of these comments in the manner that you have, nor would you have posted this article in the way that you have
journalist:
The literary journalist must always be aware of himself and of the subject as separate entities, yet also aware that the meaning of the subject can only be revealed through himself http://www.onewordlowercase.com/plan/END.HTM
blogger:
A contributor to a blog or online journal en.wiktionary.org/wiki/blogger
to end my comment:
everybody should start composing themselves in a more respectable manner in order to have their arguments be weighted more sufficiently. if you act like a careless fool who will post anything he or she wants on the internet on a whim then your comment will be viewed as a comment posted by someone who hasn’t thought it out clearly enough to make an impact.
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9:58 pm
As a reporter and a believer in the ever-living, I find this article to be shameful on both counts. Your points are not backed by factual data, your reasoning is based on hatred, and you harvest a destructive look on life that Satan himself would smile upon. Look to God and tell Him that you’re doing this for Him, and not for your own bigotry. To think that people like you a few hundred years ago would have done the same for slaves.
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4:09 pm
It never ceases to amaze me how Evangelical Christians find new ways to make themselves look stupid.
Janice and Stephen, these women were part of a generation not only lived through World War II but kept out country running while men went to war in Europe and Asia. The were extraordinarily capable and, like the menfolk of their generation, they earned the right to speak their minds bluntly.
My own grandmother and I watched that show together regularly. She lost her father in WWI and lived as a serf in the Balkans until she was 18. She raised a family through the death of her second baby, which she handled alone, a fire, another world war and several hurricanes. She earned the right to express herself without mincing words.
As for her femininity, she was a 5 11′ beauty who made any of the actresses or models of her day look homely. Yet she could do the work of any man from driving a tractor to butchering and canning a whole cow to working 14 hour days in an orange packing house all while raising her family. She rightly bragged she could do any work a man could do.
She once said “That’s what’s wrong with the world. Too many gays” after seen a news story on gay rights. I said “I know what you mean. These days nobody is half the man that you were, Baba!” and smiled. She understood it was a compliment.
Why are Evangelical women expected to feign (or cultivate?) ignorance, indecision, and stupidity to appear more “feminine”? What does it say about you, Janice, that you would buy into this?
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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6:10 pm
how can you fight and say a t.v show made people gay? that makes 0 sense, thats like saying you believe star wars or star trek is based off a true story and they portray “real life” it never said “based on a true story” it was a show, something to entertain people and i hate to inform you but you cannot “turn” someone gay or straight for that matter by a t.v show and I personally hope this is a joke if not this is just a sad reality of how stupid society has become.
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5:25 pm
AH HA HA HA HA HA HA!! “Stephenson Billings” I’m sure that’s your real name. You sad tired poor little man. In your older age you will realize just how idiotic you sound in this article. Complete fabrication using fear-based religious bigotry as your soap box. Hey guess what? Homosexuality is becoming very main-stream so you probably better get good with it or the rest of your life is going to be as lonely as it’s clearly been thus far. I feel sorry for you. I’m not even gay (and I’m sorry to the gay community for feeling the need to announce that to this idiot), but I know bigotry when I read it. You’re an ass and should be ashamed of yourself, but I know “people like you” are rarely ashamed of themselves. You just keep going, sir, spread the word of hatred. You sound like a complete idiot to anyone who has half an education thinks so too. There is a famous Shakespeare line: “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” Get it?
Your ignorance is showing, Mr, Belvedere, I mean “Billings”.
LOL! Dumbass.
Oh, and, GOD BLESS YOU.
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Hugs and Kisses,
Josh
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6:56 pm
I’m a journalist. I have credentials. I do research and write about the moral issues facing our world today. Sorry that you can’t seem to comprehend that and feel the need to throw your homosexual slander my way. It just goes to show you the maturity level of your average gay, so obsessed with themselves they fail to see the harm they’ve done to society with their disgusting habits and offensive clothing styles. I pray your mother doesn’t cry too much for your debauched and perverted soul.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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7:04 pm
Honey, real straight guys don’t talk about “clothing style”. You are so transparent! You’re a big queen and it’s obvious to everyone reading your “article”. May I ask where you did your “research” for this? And clearly, “Stephenson”, the only one feeling threatened here is YOU! I didn’t write a ridiculous article about a sitcom that’s been off the air for 20 years turning boys into homosexuals. Oh, and by the way, I too am homosexual, but not in the “Motivational Childrens Party” kind of way. And you bring up my mother? HA HA HA! You poor desperate little scared man… Keep typing… You are helping me make my point.
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9:26 pm
Wow, I have to wipe my brow after reading that post. I feel like I’ve just sat some emotional therapy session with an unstable wackjob. Please take a breath. I am very Heterosexual, sorry to burst whatever fantasies may have been building up in that little head of yours. Please rub yourself off against some other internet authority. I will never be swayed in the lustful and debauched backroom ways of you perverts.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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1:36 am
This website is hilarious. Does The Onion put it out?
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6:39 am
i like how you tell people to go rub themselves off and then accuse THEM of being perverts
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6:43 am
LMAO I don’t think that’s what he meant. Gurrr, you dumb.
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10:05 pm
And do not call me “honey”. This is not the shower line at your local bathhouse.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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6:16 pm
I must mention something that is worth considering. NO one except a person who has visited a gay bathhouse can speak so familiarly of the shower lines. Unfortunately, it does kind of seem that this author has been to a few dens of sin–the little things he mentions seem to prove that he is much more in touch with the 1980s gay lifestyle that he admits here; it is perhaps his religious guilt about the past bathhouse incidents that have compelled him to write this article. It is his eery use of inflammatory language that seem to further incriminate the author in this regard. Stephenson may not be gay, but I’d eat my hat before I’d believe that he has never had gay sex in the past.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
90 
6
7:58 am
i guess he does most of his “research” in the “shower lines at the local bathhouse”
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
83 
4
8:19 pm
I’m curious just what journalistic credentials you have and how that impacts what you’ve written here, which is essentially an opinion piece for which the research seems to be watching legacy television episodes which you then treat with great derision.
Your defense of your piece seems to center on personal attack against those who raise questions about its use of stereotypes. This is no work of investigative journalism, its an entertainment review that serves as a platform for gay-bashing.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
52 
5
10:04 pm
I really don’t need to hear you recite Nancy Pelosi’s talking points on a well-meaning and morally unimpeachable article about the homosexual agenda and the fall of American nationalism. So please keep the nasty gay chatter for your next visit to the local bathhouse. It is inappropriate here.
And I am not a gay basher, I just happen to think it’s an awful lifestyle choice.
Hot debate. What do you think?
35 
84
1:23 pm
…Thinking “homosexuality” is a horrible life style IS gay bashing.
I see nothing wrong with homosexuals. This show was for ENTERTAINMENT purposes; you are just reading way too deep into this.
Hot debate. What do you think?
52 
29
11:22 pm
Did you just call your article morally unimpeachable? You’re pretty far off the mark if you believe that.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
6:28 pm
Only one thing is absolutely clear from this article…. it’s author is in the closet. This angers him, he has been taught to hate (so christian), so he hates himself. He writes the article, to belittle, when he is really belittling himself. He says he has credentials…. I say im the easter bunny, doesnt make it so.
Praise or Condemn:
8 
0
9:50 pm
“I’m a journalist. I have credentials. I do research and write about the moral issues facing our world today. Sorry that you can’t seem to comprehend that and I feel the need to throw my religious slander your way. It just goes to show you the maturity level of your average Christian, so obsessed with themselves they fail to see the harm they’ve done to society with their disgusting habits and offensive clothing styles. I pray your mother doesn’t cry too much for your debauched and perverted soul.”
FTFY
Praise or Condemn:
23 
4
5:33 pm
This article – and the author’s replies to some comments – are wonderful parody! Almost as witty as SNL’s Church Lady.
I’ve gotten this link from a lot of folks who are emailing it around as a humor piece. Now taking a closer look, I’m still not positive if the author genuinely believes he’s done credible work here – it’s nearly impossible to believe he does (but looking around at this intellectually challenged site, I suppose anything’s possible).
Either way, it’s really funny stuff. I laughed out loud a few times, and will keep passing it on as a parody.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
51 
6
2:44 am
Stephenson, you’re a journalist with credentials you say? Could you perhaps explain to me then why you thought ‘irregardless’ was even a word? That is to say, it’s not. To me it seems as though you’re an ugly, overweight, sad and balding little man with some delusional God-complex. Any journalist worth his salt wouldn’t waste time comparing the modern gay social scene to an 80′s sitcom.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
40 
4
1:51 pm
—Usage note
Irregardless is considered nonstandard because of the two negative elements ir- and -less. It was probably formed on the analogy of such words as irrespective, irrelevant, and irreparable. Those who use it, including on occasion educated speakers, may do so from a desire to add emphasis. Irregardless first appeared in the early 20th century and was perhaps popularized by its use in a comic radio program of the 1930s.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/irregardless
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
3:02 pm
You apparenty do not do much research – the show did not run for 8 years in the 80s it ran for 7 years from the 80s into the 90s. Fact check. If you’re going to spew hatred, cynical comments and disregard for other human beings – at least try to get your facts straight. Your article read like an underaverage college student trying to prove his thesis statement with fluff.
It’s ridiculous, has no real backing and is insulting to anyone with true intelligence or a true christian for that matter.
Christianity is based on love, acceptance, tolerance and spreading the gospel – not persecuting others – you remind me of the “godly” people that persecuted Christ for thinking outside the box. You need to research the gospel, buddy – NOT The Golden Girls.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
53 
9
1:02 pm
c’mon stephenson, there’s one aspect of your satire that is conspicuously missing – that AIDS is god’s punishment of the gays’ lifestyle. Whassamatter pussy? Man up!
Hot debate. What do you think?
8 
33
4:11 am
This article was so stupid. Right. The Golden Girls turned men gay. What an ignoranimous. The men who watched The Golden Girls were already gay when they watched the show. DUh.
The guy who wrote this garbage looks a lot like Dorothy’s ex-husband Stanley Zbornak. He was a yutz.
Praise or Condemn:
13 
5
12:57 pm
Mr. Billings,
I am 25 years old, and I recently married my beautiful wife. I was raised in the Christian faith, and I find it extremely disappointing that so many people view your hateful slander towards the homosexual community as the “standard Christian belief”. Clearly you missed the bible study sessions when Jesus was teaching that love and acceptance of ALL children of god is the most important religious value. You should examine your own faith a little further and find ways to spread love instead of hate, joy instead of sadness, and acceptance instead of judgment. If the common representation of Christian beliefs is close minded views such as yours it is no wonder the membership numbers of congregations across the globe are declining rapidly. I thank the creating spirit every day that I was NOT raised in a fear based, hateful, and judgmental church or family. In closing: “Judge not least ye be judged” Matthew 7:1 “And now abide faith,hope,love,these three;but the greatest of these is LOVE!!!” I Corinthians 13:13 Lets all try a little harder to focus on the common ground we hold as Humans and not the petty differences that create voids filled with hate and intolerance.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
28 
0
5:30 pm
AH HAHA, oh, and this Bear also has an article where he tells Keith Oberman to “grow up”! LOL!
I think we should just leave Mr. Billings alone and allow him to keep writing. Nobody makes him look like more of an ass than he does himself.
What’s your next story? Lemme guess… Rachel Maddow is the spawn of Satan?
HA HA HA HA.. I am literally ‘laughing out loud’ at this clown.
Okay, Thumper, take your best shot!
Oh, and again, GOD BLESS YOU! (you need it, cuz with that attitude, he ain’t gonna let you in to heaven.)
XXO!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
26 
1
6:59 pm
I write many great articles, you might learn a thing or two about your digustingly gay lifestyle choice if you had the brain cells to comprehend my intellectualism.
Hot debate. What do you think?
29 
79
8:48 pm
“I write many great articles, you might learn a thing or two about your digustingly gay lifestyle choice if you had the brain cells to comprehend my intellectualism.”
Stephenson has gone past simply licking his balls, he’s now taken to giving himself blow jobs and eating his semen.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
49 
8
11:48 pm
Okay, this has to be a joke. Does this guy work for the Onion? Its too funny to take seriously.
I mean, look at his little blurb about himself.
He refers to his many careers — one of which being a “Motivation Children’s Party Entertainer”, dear God! — as a “one Special, Blessed Package.”
Yeah, okay, thats great that you have a “blessed package” Stephen, and thats the exact reason why I’m really not okay with the fact that you work with kids.
Why is it so hard to find a REASONABLE, INTELLIGENT, LOGICAL human being who DOES NOT support Queer Rights and isn’t actively against it to cover up their own internalized homophobia and repressed sexuality? This guy doesn’t have anything going for him. He’s clearly some kind of gay, he’s not reasonable/intelligent/logical at all (unless this is a joke, and then I would have to say its really funny) and he’s not even a decent journalist. Besides the awful structuring of this story, among other flaws any one who has taken a Journalism 101 class could find on the first read, he doesn’t even ATTEMPT at staying unbiased. And I’m using a very loose definition of unbiased. Not unbiased as in setting aside his own personal opinion like he should — he’s clearly incapable of that — but he can’t even write an opinion piece without sounding like a total dick and offending as many people as possible.
All in all, this is either Stephen Cobert at his best, or a poor guy who thinks of his high school boy crushes at night as he lays next to his ugly wife and tells himself they weren’t sexual attractions, they were just platonic and friendly desires that he won’t go to hell for.
Yeah, we’ve all been there, buddy.
That being said, I still really think this is a joke.
Here’s why:
“Well, there is something inherently virile and wondrous and handsome about a straight man, those gigantic forearms and hair-thick chests of our masculine brothers surely says something that God intended for us to be leaders, on top of the world.”
No human being with a brain functioning enough to facilitate the basic motor skills to operate a keyboard would ACTUALLY think A) big forearms = justification for imperialism and B) that men are “wondrous” and “handsome” with their “hair thick chests” and still insist that they are heterosexual.
This person only makes sense as a comedian.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
33 
4
12:27 am
I have great respect for the beauty of Christianity, as represented in the human form, the bodies of our youth who glory in His light. Our young Christian men are the purest creations of God. They are a testament to His power and His greatness. Why is it wrong to appreciate the immense strength and handsomeness therein? Why must you homosexuals see some gay lusty subtext to everything wholesome, whether it’s the artwork of the Sistine Chapel or the writings of Stephenson Billings? It is devilry on your part. Indeed, the Bible says:
“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” –Corinthians 6:19-20
“A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones.” –Proverbs 15:30
Hot debate. What do you think?
25 
41
6:34 pm
“Our young Christian men are the purest creations of God. They are a testament to His power and His greatness.”
Mr. Billings, do you believe that “our young Christian men” are purer creations than women?
Praise or Condemn:
20 
3
4:37 am
You poor, delusional “man”… YOU are the one reading a homosexual subtext into everything !!
Praise or Condemn:
17 
3
10:44 pm
You used the word “irregardless”. Just saying.
Praise or Condemn:
14 
3
5:33 pm
Please look for my upcoming article: “Stephenson Billings at the Hollywood Bathhouse”. I have pictures to prove it!
You might want to think about closing your blinds, sir. Your queerness is showing.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
28 
2
5:37 pm
Okay, last one, I swear: “Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer” = OBVIOUS PERVERT.
Praise or Condemn:
19 
5
6:58 pm
You really have no self control, do you? Do you take meds for your obsessive compulsive OCD or whatever it is? I am a decent, loving man who takes comfort in his faith. Why is that so threatening to you? This show was just plain awful, a real setback for tv morality and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Hot debate. What do you think?
21 
44
7:08 pm
A show that lasted 8 seasons on national television. Just sayin’. But keep typing sir… PLEASE keep typing…
Praise or Condemn:
12 
3
9:34 pm
Recently, a teen runaway who had a bad experience with crystal meth use came in to see me for counseling. He was as skinny and hairless as a canoe oar, but his eyes were still bright and his cheeks still rosy red. I knew there was hope for him so I took him under my wing. After a week of contact, I could see him coming around and looking up to me. The reason I mention him is that in our first several encounters he spoke like you type– very disjointed, angry, confused, jumping all over the place with his little spurts. It took the comfort and firmness of his elder to lead him on the right path. I had high hopes for the little guy, but sadly he went back to the streets, turning 20 dollar tricks. You can’t always win, but you must try, always try harder and harder. That’s what I do here. I know Josh you have problems and delicacies and you need help and I just want you to know that there are people who care about your problems so please don’t give up seeking an elder to guide you!
Hot debate. What do you think?
28 
44
11:22 pm
Oh come on, isn’t anyone else seeing the obvious sexual innuendo in the above story? This guy is totally yanking your chain. Very clever comedy, in the tradition of Andy Kaufman.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
29 
4
3:12 pm
Re:>> “Recently, a teen runaway who had a bad experience with crystal meth use came in to see me for counseling. He was as skinny and hairless as a canoe oar”
I find it particularly disturbing that you have knowledge that he was hairless as an oar, as that would require you having removed his clothing to know of such facts.
Quite a daunting task considering he was ONLY there to be counseled. Unless whatever else you do with such youth requires disrobing.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
42 
3
3:43 am
I would say god help anyone that comes to you for counseling. And if you’re licensed by any state boards as a counselor, they should revoke your license immediately.
Praise or Condemn:
22 
3
4:23 pm
“The reason I mention him is that in our first several encounters he spoke like you type– very disjointed, angry, confused, jumping all over the place with his little spurts.”
Your entire article had me feeling as though you were disjointed, angry and confused. You seem very upset with homosexuals, obviously you’ve met a few (or several) rude people that you at least assumed were gay, but doesn’t excuse you for being the same.
I have met a higher ratio Christians (within many churches) who were rude, or thought they were holier than thou than I have ever met gays. Yes, some gays are rude and hateful, so are some Christians, Caucasians, Native Americans, and the list goes on.
I do my best to follow the teachings of Christ though of course I fall short, daily. Maybe God has a different opinion, but I feel this article is a great example of how Christians fall short. It reeks of arrogance.
Watching Golden Girls hasn’t made anyone gay any more than watching The Ten Commandments has made anyone a Christian.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
0
2:11 am
So, what im hearing is, not only are u a shitty writer, you’re a shitty counselor too?
Praise or Condemn:
7 
1
7:25 pm
“obsessive compulsive OCD” is redundant, dingleberry.. Or maybe I just can’t comprehend your intellectualism..
Praise or Condemn:
22 
3
8:51 pm
“Do you take meds for your obsessive compulsive OCD or whatever it is?”
Oh for fuck’s sake, it’s either Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or OCD, not obsessive compulsive OCD. Retard.
Praise or Condemn:
21 
4
5:42 pm
No wait, one more: “Fucktard”? Claire, I’m a little bit in love with you. (But not in a GAY way!) LOL! Can you believe this asswipe? I LOVE the internet!
Praise or Condemn:
17 
4
9:45 pm
But how would you being in love with me be gay? I’m guessing (from your name) that you’re a male, and I’m a female, so that’s pretty straight. But if you actually are gay, that’s cool. I don’t mean to freak you out, but I have fantasies of having sex with a gay man, don’t ask me why, it’s just one of those fetishes, I guess.
Praise or Condemn:
21 
1
10:02 pm
Another example of the perverse sexual confusion of today’s cross dressing teens. Fantastic that your rub your debauchery all over my article. Thanks a lot.
Hot debate. What do you think?
21 
47
10:42 pm
Billings, shut the fuck up and go sit on your dildo.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
55 
5
10:41 am
Hey, Claire. If you have fantasies of being with fudge packers, I’ll gladly put my dick in your ass. Then, you can close your eyes and use the taste and smell to pretend you’re sucking off a gay dude. Just sayin’. Wanna hook up?
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
5:59 pm
Stephenson Billings: The poor man’s Danny Aiello.
Praise or Condemn:
9 
2
6:35 pm
Stephen:
Even Blanche wouldn’t do you, and she did everyone. What’s apparent to anyone viewing your profile is that you wouldn’t do Blanche either. If they were around, Dorothy would give you a piece of her mind and try and convince you to come out of the closet, and she’d have some good solid facts to convince you. Rose would be slightly angry with you for even she could see how you got God totally wrong, and Sophia would quip that like her daughter, your gender was not easily distinguished. I do notice that you have a lot in common with John Wayne Gacy though. And just for the record, I think your putting pressure on us older queens to amp it up to 5 boyfriends a week is just absurd. I can hardly juggle the 4 tricks I’m doing a week, let alone 5 needy guys with strings attached!
Praise or Condemn:
20 
2
6:54 pm
My name is Stephenson, not “Stephen”. Please try to be semi-competent when you type. I would not have any interest in a hard, cold woman like Blanche. She uses her body in the most lacivious of ways and it’s offensive. I wish you’d keep your physical fantasies to yourself.
Also I am a Heterosexual, thank you very much.
Hot debate. What do you think?
16 
27
7:06 pm
How many “S’s” in ‘Ssssstephenssson’?
Praise or Condemn:
17 
1
4:48 am
hey Stevie boy ! You grammer an you frends grammer und spellin aint not so goodly anywas to ! yous kant be a edumakated jornulist wifout da spellin an a good grammer . den yous gots ta do sum book readin to knows wat to says. firstly, learn us wat da bible really means befo you go round spewin stupidity
Praise or Condemn:
7 
1
10:20 pm
John, dating four indulgently homosexual men a week is the most reprehensible thing I have ever heard. Whether they are bushy-chested beefsteaks or rambunctious twinks or your run of the mill internet power bottoms, it all adds up to moral and financial hell. Gay men are little courtesans, they require constant cash to keep them happy and I do not think you have a clue what you’ve gotten yourself into.
Hot debate. What do you think?
16 
33
11:55 pm
“Gay men are little courtesans, they require constant cash to keep them happy and I do not think you have a clue what you’ve gotten yourself into.”
Bull-fucking-shit.
Praise or Condemn:
15 
2
12:00 pm
WOW, you seem extremely versed in the sexual terminology amongst the particularly promiscuous genre of gay men. I can tell you that my christian, conservative mother certainly isn’t familiar with “POWER BOTTOMS” “TWINKS” “LEATHER DADDYS”. Nor is she familiar with Bathhouses.
I will say she’s familiar with the stories of particularly religious men of the Church raping and molesting the purest of young boys (as you mention). I’m reminded of Shakespeare’s quote “Stephenson doth protest too much”.
So, Power bottom or are you fingering that poor meth addicted teen? Oh that’s right, you said he charges $20.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
26 
1
6:37 pm
And this idea that gay men are into he show is absurd as well! But check out our website ASAP
http://www.thegoldengays.com
Praise or Condemn:
9 
1
2:56 pm
I did click on your link and what I heard… Well let me just say, the amount of high-pitched hormonally-hexed homosexual hollering in this show is enough to damage your children’s children. The debauched and dangerous perverts behind this horror who have contrived to masquerade as 1980s Floridian female retirees are an insult to grandmothers and sunseekers everywhere. In my day, rump romping charades like this would be promptly raided by the police and the lot of you would be thrown in jail. Sadly, you kinds of sassy Sallys probably enjoy prison showers with tattooed Latinos. I cry for your mothers.
Stephenson Billings, Investigative Journalist
Hot debate. What do you think?
16 
30
6:45 pm
This is my response to Janicefan as it didn’t appear to public. All of you self righteous hypocrites should take note: You are mistaken. Golden Girls humanized older people. It made us all realize that they have needs for warm friendships, family, relevance to our society, and God forbid sex. Like any sitcom, it has to go over the top to get people to notice, but the underlying message was beautiful. And it’s well documented that their children and grandchildren are extremely proud of them. Not only did they do that, but they brought joy and laughter into many hearts. I wonder how often you can say the same about yourself.
John
http://www.thegoldengays.com
Praise or Condemn:
25 
1
9:17 pm
Sorry to mis-spell your name! ANd though we are having fun with this, what is most disturbing is that people like you and JaniceFun are wandering the streets believing crap like this. I’m glad you found your version of God. Why does it mean questioning other Spiritual people? Doesn’t the Bible have something to say about that?
Praise or Condemn:
7 
1
9:37 pm
I’m sorry but there is only one true path to our Lord.
Hot debate. What do you think?
10 
23
9:48 pm
Straight up your asshole!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
28 
2
1:50 am
Total win. -high fives-
Praise or Condemn:
14 
3
1:53 am
Dude, you gotta stop looking into things too much. Old ladies. 80′s sitcom. Did NOT turn anyone gay. People don’t choose gay, gay chooses them. ^_^
Praise or Condemn:
15 
2
1:56 am
Oh, and one more thing:
“Personally, I do not look forward to the day when we’re having moral debates about robot sex, gay jetpacks or houseplant marriage.”
Robot sex? Gay jetpacks? Houseplant marriage? I’m getting turned on over here…
Praise or Condemn:
7 
1
6:13 am
I’m a journalist, a Christian and a student of the human experience. I write what I see. This show is very clearly identified with homosexual culture and it’s rise to fame coincided with the greater visibility of the homosexual movement. I think the evidence is clear that there is a connection, particularly when you point out the radical and loud natures of these old women and how contemporary gays try to mimic that.
Hot debate. What do you think?
17 
24
5:13 pm
“I’m a journalist, a Christian and a student of the human experience.”
1) You are not a journalist. You are a blogger. Please stop confusing the two. Journalists report facts, they don’t inject opinion into the piece they are reporting on. Bloggers spew opinions, however misguided, into the ether that is the internet. You, my friend, fit the latter.
2) You call yourself a Christian, but I assure you, you are not. I don’t think you’d understand true Christianity if it smacked you in the face.
3) A student of the human experience? I think you’d better get a refund on your tuition.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
38 
4
9:56 pm
Listen here you little freak. I am NOT A BLOGGER! I have stated this several times, please get it through your thick skull. Bloggers are crappy little people who write diaries about hair spray and episodes of Lost. I am a journalist covering cultural issues from a Christian perspective. Please get your facts right before you spew your dumb-witted hate my way.
Your other insults are not worthy of a reply. You are clearly one of the worst human beings on the planet, disparaging a very decent hardworking man such as myself. I happen to help children every day! They love me and my work. I am highly respected for my insights and my labors. Why do I even bother with hot-headed twinks like you who should be spanked red for their sins? Stay off my lap you skank.
Hot debate. What do you think?
16 
37
10:23 am
Hey Billings, as you’re always saying to me: calm down. You’re getting all hot and bothered. What’s wrong, do you have some sand in your asscrack?
Praise or Condemn:
13 
3
2:14 am
Sounding a little Glenn Beck-y there with the “listen here you little freak” GET OFF MY PHONE!
Praise or Condemn:
8 
1
2:30 am
Reading all these comments, this is all too much. I can’t tell if this site is a giant joke or not; I’m afraid it may not be! Perhaps the most embarrassing aspect is the constant replies from the author to every single comment, something so obviously rooted in insecurity that I’m now convinced it is real. Thus this my motivation for this message, well that and the condescending holier-than-thou mental flatulence dribbled all over.
It’s hard for me to swallow these ‘journalistic’ claims when everything I read screams the direct opposite. I’m not sure this could even make it to FOX “News” of all places, let alone an actual news organization. “Responding” to your readers, which by the way are effectively strangers that you don’t know anything about, with red herrings and ad hominem attacks is the saddest part of all when juxtaposed against so called ‘Christian values.’ Certainly not the values with which I’m familiar. Where is the love, charity, and respect? All I see is bitterness, baseless accusations, judgement, and exclusivity.
One prototypical example particularly strikes me: “Do you take such a self-righteous and superior tone with the people you encounter on your daily strolls through whatever bubble gum lala land you inhabit?” Talk about the pot calling the tea kettle black.
I encourage you to follow in your own stated self-image, respectful intelligent journalism. I’ve found nothing resembling it on this entire page. And bifurcating the world into those for and against some ‘agenda’ that only exists in your head is probably not the best way to go about it.
Praise or Condemn:
21 
4
2:42 am
Hmm, upon further reading I now believe this all to be a big joke. The satire was done in such a convincing jesus-freak way that I now feel stupid for being baited
But does every comment reply (wayyy too many, even for satire) really need to be so vitriolic?
Praise or Condemn:
7 
2
11:13 am
Let me congratulate you, Stephenson, for being one of the most sanctimonious morons I have ever seen in print.
A few minor points:
- First of all, you’re absolutely right: you’re not a blogger. To call this piece of unrestrainedly bigoted drivel a blog entry would be doing bloggers everywhere a disservice. Any comparison to investigative journalism would be absurd.
- Please attempt to acquire at least a perfunctory understanding of grammar and syntax before attempting to correct the grammar of others. “Irregardless”, for example, is not a legitimate word. It’s hard to believe that you managed to misinterpret the Merriam-Webster dictionary
- You cannot legitimately refer to yourself as a student of human experience without taking into account perspectives beyond those dictated by the Bible. However, with your narrow and altogether perverse reading of that sacred text, you may still need further study.
- Finally, please stop alleging that you provide “help” to children in order to refute any arguments raised against you. To do so is shameful. The monstrous sentiment behind your writing indicates a man to whom children should never be exposed. I weep for all the children irreparably damaged by your presence already.
Aside from the obvious bigotry that underlies it, your ‘article’ barely warrants mention. However, it would be remiss of me not to point out your amazing stupidity in conflating a few much-maligned homosexual stereotypes, whose behavior occasionally bears a fleeting resemblance to that of the golden girls, with the gay community as a whole. As yet, I have not equated you with, for example, with the stereotype of the relentlessly straight male, caring only about what beer to drink, or what woman to demean, as he bores all and sundry with a constant barrage of monosyllables. Nor have I more than tentatively compared you to the stereotype of the fundamentalist christian, though on reflection I think Pastor Phelps would be glad of you in his repulsively incestuous flock.
Also, if you do wish to continue to refer to yourself as an investigative journalist, I recommend citing your sources. Anyone can invent an encounter with a rude store clerk or waiter, or fabricate accounts of lewd homosexual acts (of which, it must be said, you seem to have a surprising wealth of experience). Reinforcing your extremely weak arguments with pictures taken out of context is not a wise move, and I should not have to remind you that, without any evidence to the contrary, your picture of men in golden girls costumes could easily have depicted straight men at a fancy dress party.
I suppose you can’t let journalistic ethics interfere with good old-fashioned bigotry. It’s appalling to know that people such as yourself exist.
Praise or Condemn:
8 
0
11:22 pm
“This show is very clearly identified with homosexual culture and it’s rise to fame coincided with the greater visibility of the homosexual movement.”
Stephenson, I must say that I completely agree with you on this point. Just like how the number of active pirates went down as the level of global warming went up.
Praise or Condemn:
6 
2
4:41 am
This whole thing was just plain stupid! Gay people are thee same as everyone else. Stephen you are a total and complete idiot.
Praise or Condemn:
7 
2
6:14 am
Thank you for your moving and insightful comment, you depraved half-wit.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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6:19 am
I read your reply and I just started laughing. I’m a depraved half-wit am I? You don’t want to go there.
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5:15 am
I think this website is supposed to be satirical…at least I hope so. You people make God cry.
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10:58 am
I have read a bunch of this guys stuff and now I have to say Congratulations to him!!!! As a writer myself, I wish I was this good at satire. There are moments when you watch Stephen Colbert and you don’t know if it’s a put on, but you usually come down on YES. This guy is so good I had to read this story and several others to figure it out. The clincher is the contact email for the site overall. The whole thing is so obvious once you start looking for it. The google ads are all for liberal stuff, the return email – even the headings below. Dammit Stephenson!!!! You win. This time.
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6:58 pm
I realize you may be a little too inept to post a photo on the internet, so here’s the one you failed to post:
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11:07 pm
Stephenson Darling!
Thank you so much. I am also rather inept at captioning. Could you be a love and mark under the photo for me “Coming to Palm Springs February 4th”. And if you’d even be a super duper sweetie poo and add “limited engagement” in big bold letters across the front. It would be super helpful to our cause.
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10:13 pm
I would never appear in Palms Springs on February 4th. Surely this is some debauched set up for the types of gang rapes of honest heterosexuals that your fragrant gays often engage in. I will not submit my Christian body to your vile, endless desires and would not allow you to profit from whatever videos would inevitably ensue from such a raunchy encounter. I know you people are always videoing your intimate copulations for resale and while I cannot really understand it, I find it both unseemly and outrageous.
And please don’t call me darling. That term should only be used for pet puppies.
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10:30 am
Billings, I doubt anyone would want to rape you, for the same reason that no woman has ever wanted to sleep with you.
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12:29 pm
“…insulting people’s clothing choices, [b]body odors[/b]…”
“Surely this is some debauched set up for the types of gang rapes of honest heterosexuals that your [b]fragrant[/b] gays often engage in.”
Damn us gays. Damn us and our uncontrollable urge to acknowledge how someone smells! I am rightfully shamed, and apologise to all ‘heterostraights’ for flaunting a gay man’s natural advantage – a working nose.
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12:31 am
Is this a homosexual and gay site or what???? Calling Ms. Billings????
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10:31 pm
I’m not gay, nor do I entirely support them (or side against them). However, this ‘article’ is truly nothing more than a hate-filled rant from a man who has obviously had some past experience with the gay community. I mean, some of these examples are just too specific to be made up.
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6:51 am
Gay dudes are gay cuz they like dick… The GG is not the cause of homosexuality there are plenty of gay dudes who don’t like the show and millions of str8 peeps around the world who love it and are not gay. This was a great read while i took a crap… but pretty silly.
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5:24 pm
And so it begins again, another article on why gay people are gay. And yet another one that lacks any true proof or substance. If you really believe that the Golden Girls really made American men gay, what can you possibly say about the lesbians, the bisexuals and the Trans people?
I was linked to this piece and thought it was satire at first, I truly did. I sat and read and my friend and I had a good laugh. You have not founded your argument on anything other than you own bias and misunderstanding. And if I’m using large complicated words you don’t understand than perhaps you should pull a dictionary off the shelf.
You have (presumably) never faced a day when you feel that you’ll be ridiculed and possibly assaulted or killed for your sexuality or gender orientation. You (presumably) have always been straight and male. Some of us do not have the luxury of being a cisgendered white male in a society geared towards backing us up. And your complete and utter bias and bigotry is offensive. You claim to be a Christian and yet in passing judgement in your post, you ignore Christ’s basic lesson.
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9:15 pm
My dear fellow, clearly the vast amount of back alley intimate encounters and motel room intercourse, hard pounding as it is, has somehow muddled that precious little brain of yours. I am a decent and whole man and I enjoy all the fruits of heterosexuality- the glorious women, the great family life, the smiles of children (even though I am not married). Heterosexuals are better corporate leaders, sportsmen and politicians. Do you ever wonder why gays never make it to the top in these fields (no pun intended)? Well, there is something inherently virile and wondrous and handsome about a straight man, those gigantic forearms and hair-thick chests of our masculine brothers surely says something that God intended for us to be leaders, on top of the world. Peace be with you!
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9:49 pm
“Well, there is something inherently virile and wondrous and handsome about a straight man, those gigantic forearms and hair-thick chests of our masculine brothers”
And the award for the least heterosexual statement of the day goes to…Stephenson Billings! Give yourself a hand!
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10:01 pm
Claire, why must you spray your hormones all over my journalism? Please calm down.
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10:19 am
Why are you spraying your semen all over teenage boys? Hmm?
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11:35 pm
“I am a decent and whole man and I enjoy all the fruits of heterosexuality- the glorious women, the great family life, the smiles of children (even though I am “not married).”
Wait…I thought pre-marital sex was a sin? I enjoy glorious women too, they are all my best friends and they don’t have to worry about me trying to sleep with them!
If you’re not married….how can you enjoy a family life? Still living in your parents basement?
I’m sure the children love it when you pedo-smile at them too.
I think you should respond to this and call me dim-witted, a jerk, tell me i had my brains scrambled by some back alley gang bang…whatever…I’ve heard them all from you already. Think of something original…call me a sinner! or a satanist or a crystal meth addict! yeah…that would be great. Or you can tell me I have mental issues with lot’s of problems that I need an elder to guide me through…or you can pray for my crying mother. Choose one, I’m helping you out, that way you don’t have to think to hard or google something to make yourself look smart.
P.S. your cute…we should go out sometime (gag)…
P.S.S. now you can tell me to quit forcing my sick fantasies on you!
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12:29 am
You misread me. Nowhere do I say that I engage in pre-martial sex. As for kids, I am an entertainer for parties and I also volunteer in a church, so I do deal with them a lot. Family life comes from your own brethren and your community. It sounds like you need a little grounding in your life, my child, the sort of thing a great Christian community can provide.
If you are a crystal meth addict, I will pray for you tonight! I understand it’s very popular in the gay world.
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6:52 am
“Heterosexuals are better corporate leaders…Do you ever wonder why gays never make it to the top in these fields (no pun intended)”.
Wow, you need to read a newspaper. Stephen Job’s replacement as CEO of Apple Computer is gay, I can’t think of a better example of “making it to the top”. You are such a loser…
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7:34 pm
Ok so I just dont under stand you. I am on the debate team and my family are big time Catholics, i am a big time gamer fan and because my parent explain sex to me when i started puberty i was not sexually confused. If you want to have a vailed point state facts and sorceses
P.S. Im am also in the B.S.A. and i frankly find you close minded, and god promotes the well being of others and that entails being open to gays, and gameing.
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8:43 pm
You sure do know a lot about the wicked ways of homosexuals – makes me wonder why? Oh, and you’re a pathetic excuse for a human being.
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9:59 pm
I’d rather not know too much about the nefarious and sticky ways of the gays, but it is something I have undertaken to do in service of my faith. The rest of Christendom needs to be aware of the dreadful, painful sexual things you lip-gloss wearing harlots do to each other in dark barroom backrooms, if only to protect our beautiful American boys from falling into the same trap. It is quite true that you people want nothing more to clutch the most wholesome of our jocks and wrap them in nonstop fornication. I am disgusted by you.
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10:05 am
“I’d rather not know too much about the nefarious and sticky ways of the gays, but it is something I have undertaken to do in service of my faith.”
Unmarried man, whose descriptions of young men I find very disturbing, and graphic “interpretations” of gay lifestyle and sex are revealing to me as a gay man, takes one for the team to perform research for his faith.
However you want to rationalize it, to gain acceptance from people who hate you for who you are and only love you for what you spew from your hole, this is the worst form of self-loathing.
It’s okay to admit, even if just to yourself, that you like the Golden Girls.
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9:29 pm
took me a while but now I get it. Feel sorry for the guy who’s image is being forged as “Stephenson Whatever”.
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10:24 pm
I don’t see a single fact in this article. Your link to a ‘study’ is a book written by a guy who analyzes TV shows. I’m a scientist. That is not a study. Most gay relationships last a week? Then why am I 54 years old, straight, and I know couples who have been monogamous for 5, 12, 17, 25, 32, 15 years – and that is not the start of my gay friends. I go to an open and affirming church. I know at least 20 gay couples and at least 100 gay people. NONE fit your description. Do you know ANY ONE personally who is gay? They are just like me. But they are not just like you. They are kind, smart, hard working and just want to live their lives without fear. No one chooses to be gay and they certainly did not choose to be gay because of a TV show. If you would like scientific proof, please check out LGBTLatestScience.wordpress.com.
Your description of young gay men as *artistic* (what does that mean?) slender and unathletic is clearly degrading.
Last, your article is very poorly written. It is filled with anger and wild claims. It is clear that you have chosen to stereotype and degrade people, all in the name of Christ. Religion does not justify or support hate. Stop hiding behind Bible verses written by HUMANS 2000 years ago in a different culture, that have been misinterpreted, to rationalize your narrow mindedness. Worse, you are feeding lies to a naive and uneducated audience seeking any reason to maintain their superiority over people they do not understand.
I will give you credit for one thing. The idea that a TV show can make someone gay is a contender for the most ridiculous argument I have ever heard.
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10:53 pm
Whacks self in head. This entire site is nothing but brilliant satire. Well, you had me. Well done! Nothing like something completely insane to make people wake up. Pure genius. Thanks for advancing the rights of LGBT people everywhere. Change a heart, change a mind.
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11:25 pm
“This show is very clearly identified with homosexual culture and it’s rise to fame coincided with the greater visibility of the homosexual movement.”
Stephenson, you are absolutely correct on this and I agree. Just as the level of global warming increased as the number of active pirates went down, there clearly must be a connection….
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7:04 am
Ah, so it was “The Golden Girls” who made me gay. We’ve been trying to locate the source of my fabulosity for a while now. And here it is – a completey sane, rational and scientific explanation. My mom will be relieved.
Idiot.
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6:10 pm
Mikey, if your poor, sad mother is in the Tennessee area, yes please tell her to email me and we’ll have coffee. I would love to give her counsel about your ridiculous attachment to homosexuality. Did she leave you alone in the television room for a long time alone in the 80s? It’s pretty awful when you look back on these things. Too bad you weren’t watching Magnum PI, that was a show that could put hair on a boy’s chest! The red Ferrari always seemed so gorgeous to me, the top down, the wind blowing through Tom’s lustrous full head of hair, oh it was fantastic! Anyway, I highly recommend it, it’s now in reruns.
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6:45 pm
“Too bad you weren’t watching Magnum PI, that was a show that could put hair on a boy’s chest! The red Ferrari always seemed so gorgeous to me, the top down, the wind blowing through Tom’s lustrous full head of hair, oh it was fantastic! Anyway, I highly recommend it, it’s now in reruns.”
God would you shut the fuck up? Nobody’s interested in your magnum PI shit. Oh, and for a man who claims to hate homosexuality, you seem to have an awful big boner for that Tom guy and his “lustrous full head of hair”.
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8:24 pm
hahahahahahahhahahhahahaha. worst. journalist. ever. and for that matter, worst site ever too. i mean jesus christ, the arguments i see on here are just hilariously ridiculous. i hope that somehow you thoughtless morons are just making a joke about conservatism and its horrid flaws. good god, i might as well watch fox news to hear this shit. shameful_truth, i cant wait until “homogays” are accepted as being normal, just so i can laugh at you being pissed about it. i’m not gay, but who the fuck should care about any of this? oh and if god says that gays aren’t allowed in heaven, then screw christianity. thats like saying that you cant go to heaven because someone believes in islam, which i know many christians believe. ridiculous and terribly uneducated. liberalism all the way
.
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1:36 pm
Dear Everyone,
I have come to the conclusion that this article, and indeed this entire website, is the work of a (or possible many) well-trained, crafty polemics who are making fun of fringe Christianity. I’m honestly impressed with their efforts – the author of this article hasn’t broken character, and has maintained a really impressive constant tone throughout the discussion. I’m sure if we haven’t already, we’ll see some really amazing work come from this guy (or girl) in the future.
Well-played, sir. You trolled basically the entire internet. Your article was funny and poignant, and brilliantly illustrates the disparate circumstances that Christianity has found itself in. I assume you modeled your character after the folks holding “God Hates Fags” signs outside of military funerals, but you added just a bit of your own twist to make this a true work of art.
Well done.
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10:33 am
Mr. Billings, I do not agree with what you have had to say on this subject. However, I what I want to comment on is your less than Christian attitude towards these “lost people” you are fighting against in your comments.
Christians get the wrap for being antogonistic and “God hates everyone ant wants to send people to hell.” you are not approaching these commenters with the loving attitude God would have you approach them with. The claims in your article are already considered far fetched in the eyes of most people reading this it appears, you are not going to get any of them to really think of what you have to say by calling them half wits or little freaks.
While it may be true you appear to have not written the article for the unsaved to view, they are. You have them here and instead being the bigger man and not letting their and use of profanity get to you, you have resorted to being antogonistic and name calling. You are also not sharing the news of the gospel with them. that you too are a sinner, you are not better than anyone else and God came down and died to pay off your sins. Likewise Jesus died for these commenters with their lewd descriptions and profanity. Your actions within these comments fit right in with all the other name callers, I had hoped you would rise above that.
The only comment I choose to make with your article is that I know plenty of gay and straight relationships within my personal life that lasted “a week” (though that is exaggerating it.) I also know of gay and straight relationships that have lasted decades. I believe at the very least this is one incorrect “fact” you claim within your article.
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11:37 am
Listen Missy, you’re pretty arrogant if you think you can speak for God.
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12:52 pm
Where was I speaking for God? Jesus accepted sinners that came to Him with love, Mary Magdalene was a prostitute/sinner Jesus showed love to. Should you not do the same? The Bible saysthat Scripture is without error and useful for rebuking people. I am calling you out for bring less than loving towards people as you try to reach out to them. I even posted the most loving thing God did for us so that your readers could see it.
I do apologize for calling out how you are treating people within your comments, but this is the venue. I clearly claim to be a brother in Christ and you resort to calling me “Missy”? That isn’t very Christian of you either. You clearly have no ideas of my views on homosexuality I just said I didn’t agree with the content of the article which is your
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1:17 pm
My apologies I tapped on the wrap place on the screen.
Continuing on … which is your opinion The Holden Girls created homosexuals by simply the character types on the show. This disagreement was not about your beliefs homosexuality is wrong, and clearly does not establish my own views on the subject.
Nowhere did I claim to speak for God anymore than you have. Yet I have not disrespected you by name calling, let alone name calling another Christian. Follow by God’s example brother, not by anything anyone else says, if you can prove name calling for the sake of spreading truth is justified, bring it on.
Religious beliefs and teachings aside you appear to be an mature man by your user avatar, you should act it and stop with the name calling on that basis alone.
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8:40 am
Seriously, at first I thought this article was a joke. It certainly read like a comedy sketch. It was quite funny. I forwarded it to all my friends – “You’ve gotta read this! LOL.” Anyway, the gay community has a term for people like Stephenson – ‘self-loathing, closeted, gay man’. Seriously, he knows more about gay terminology than most gays. I hope you figure it out some day Mr Billings. God only wants you to be happy. He loves you no matter what. It’s okay to be gay. But if this was a joke article, keep it up. I loved it. Too funny! Oh, and there’s no such word as “irregardless” (How many times do I have to tell people that?!)
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7:48 pm
This whole site must have been set up by atheists to raise awareness of Christian bigotry. Full points, atheists. Nobody would really behave publicly like this author has. This story obviously wants to simultaneously titillate and repulse by splashing exaggerated, grotesque versions of every sort of sexual proclivity around and pretending they are the exclusive domain of homosexuals (of course straight people do it too). Other stories on this site, such as “Japanese Game Show Chimpanzee Touches Women’s[sic] Milksacks[?!] on Live TV,” and “South Park Stan Marsh Brings Freedom To Evil Japanse[sic] as Cartman Sings Poker Face (video),” only serve to further demonstrate that this site is fully committed to exposing the xenophobia, homophobia, racism, sexism, hate, and fear of misguided Christian fundamentalists. However, as a fellow gay atheist, I have to say you’ve really gone too far. Give Christians a little credit, will you? They’re not all so mean, base, and ignorant, and none of them are so vile as to say stuff like this (although I’d believe some of them believe it).
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8:29 pm
Oh shut up.
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12:03 am
I’ll shut up. This is your network, after all. You haven’t refuted anything and your absurd assertions are indefensible. I won’t waste my time sticking around. I really feel sorry for you though. Whether you’re in the closet or just trying to find justification for your fear and hatred of gays, it’s really turned you into a hateful, bitter person. It’s profoundly sad. I hope you find some way to cope that works better than attacking people you hate/fear/misunderstand/are.
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12:07 pm
Successful troll is successful!
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12:35 pm
You know more about stereotypical “gay” activities and jargon than I do and I am even a homo. I think you need to reevaluate yourself and come out of the closet already.
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2:52 pm
…don’t forget the whole story arc where Blanche’s daughter NEEDS SPERM desperately – just like those homosexuals do (well except for the girl ones – LEBONESE – I think Blanch calls them)
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3:07 pm
The way you flaming flamboyances lust after the manly juices of America’s strong jocks is undeniably vampiric. Do you were capes and only appear at night as well?
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5:18 pm
Mr. Billings,
Thank you for your perspective. You will strengthen your writing if you also discuss lesbians and the gay men who are not “twinks.” The latter–flamboyant and effeminate gay men–represent only a small portion of the gay population. There are many other groups that you could target, including the “bears” and the “gym buffs.”
For example, you claimed that gays have not made it to the top in politics, sports, and corporate America. While I might agree that flamboyant, effeminate men have not made it as often, they are again only a small portion of the whole. Without a deep inspection, you can’t tell the orientation of most politicians, athletes, and CEOs. This is where solid research will enhance your article.
Also, consider applying this feedback to your responses to comments. In those responses, when you repeatedly fell back on the outdated idea of all gay men as twinks, you only reminded me that you’re only speaking about a small portion of gay men.
Thank you for this new perspective. I look forward to how you will address the majority of gay men.
-Kyle
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5:59 pm
Kyle, in case you haven’t noticed, I am not a DJ at your local bear club spinning Donna Summers and Diana Ross so no… I don’t take requests. I write what I need to write. I have addressed other aspects of the gay world, however, and you may find this link helpful:
http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2009/09/letter-from-christwirecom.html
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6:25 am
Mr. Billings,
My comment was not a request, it was a recommendation–I simply hope to strengthen your perspective.
Your entire position hinges on an archaic stereotype. In the link you shared, for example, you continue this faux pas by generalizing gay people as alcoholics and illiterates. The latter is countered by numerous studies, such as this one:
Your audience recognizes this error and then dismisses you. We don’t want that!
Thank you for your polite and quick reply,
-Kyle
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7:09 am
i were capes all the time
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3:40 pm
This is the written masturbation of a writer who needed to blog about something ridiculous in order to make himself feel important and validated. This piece (newsflash: a blog doesn’t count as a printed piece of writing) is rubbish and moreover, whatever is inside the writer is pure evil.
Does anyone else think it’s suspect that he’s a “motivational children’s party entertainer”? Parents, this is someone to keep your child AWAY FROM.
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6:19 pm
You’re patently ridiculous. I don’t need to jump on the backs of the Golden Girls to get myself famous. I have my faith to comfort and direct me and I am a journalist. In fact, I’m an Investigative Journalist with all the certifications that entails. I write on many cultural and lifestyle issues, from cat ownership to Stephen Colbert to Jocks & Video Games so please get over your conceited self. I have never encountered such a zealous and pumped up crowd in my life. If I were surrounded by you people in person, I would fear for my wholesomeness.
Is Video Gaming a Threat to America’s High School Jock Culture?
http://christwire.org/2009/09/is-video-gaming
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4:21 pm
So, you forget all of the Bible’s teachings, except the ones you want.
What about not judging others? What about loving others?
Get over yourself!
Here’s some sarcasm for you: “yeah, sure, the TV execs had in mind turning american boys into fags” – sure – uh huh… YEAH RIGHT! God made every gay person that way to teach you people something about loving others no matter who, what, or how they are.
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4:29 pm
Question for you Stephenson… is that your real picture or is that a picture of Dorothy’s husband on the show, Stan Zbornak?
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5:31 pm
Whatever the Golden Girls did, Designing Women undid. The things I would’ve done to that Julia Sugarbaker!
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5:38 pm
I think I peed my pants reading this article. My boss and I have been cracking up. Thanks for the laughs!
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6:09 pm
It’s a shame there are ignorant people like you still living in this world. Your red state mentality is what set this country back eight years. A sitcom turning young men gay? Absolutely preposterous! You claim you have credentials yet you do not list them. Why is that? The show ran from 1985-1992, that’s seven seasons, not eight. The Golden Palace is a separate show. People sobering up and skipping coke and sex parties in 80s? Um, that’s what the decade was known for!
I eagerly await your article about how Showtime’s The L Word made women lesbians.
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6:40 pm
Your spiteful arrogance is unpleasant, unseemly and undeserved. Clearly, your palpable outrage means that I have struck a chord within you, that you recognize some deep and internal problems with yourself and why you chose the wantonly erotic gay lifestyle. But please remember there is hope! There are special camps, hidden away from prying eyes where well-meaning pastors and other troubled young men can lead you from your fornication temptations.
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7:13 pm
I never said I was gay, Stephenson. Someone with such “credentials” should get their facts straight, no pun intended. I’m happily married and happily a supporter of gay rights.
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6:17 pm
Stephenson Billings,
This is all a joke, right? Someone posted this article on Facebook and I had to check it out. This whole website is meant to be funny correct??? Please tell me this is all a joke!!!!! If it’s not, and you’re actually serious . . . oh my. If this is a big joke, you’re brilliant.
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6:29 pm
Thank you for calling me Brilliant but I’m also a Christian and I find nothing funny about homosexuality.
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6:39 pm
Ok. I’m pretty sure you’re joking, but I’m just confused by this whole site. I know you probably have to keep the joke going on here, but could you please email me with the real story behind this site? All of these writings are too full of hate to be real! I just want to know for sure before I start to lose faith in people. Thank you.
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6:49 pm
What am I now, a pen pal/free therapist for crazed internet surfers? I’m a journalist on deadline and I don’t have time to answer your ridiculous democrat conspiracy theories.
FYI:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091017002237AAIHSu3
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6:23 pm
I cannot actually comprehend this being anything other than an elaborate joke played on the website, particularly based on the follow up comments.
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7:32 pm
This was hilarious! As a gay man who never was a big fan of the Golden Girls (I’m not into humor based on insults or condescension), I never understood the whole phenomena anyway. But even though this article was meant as satire, there really are gay men who act like that! As Homer Simpson would say, “It’s funny because it’s true.”
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8:26 pm
After reading some of these comments, I think everybody should take a deep breath and chill out. I think history proves that radicalism on EITHER side is not a good thing.
To the gays: nasty name calling does not help your public perception, if you have a reasonable counter-argument to Mr. Billings article, then present it in a rational way. If you expect to be treated with respect, then you need to treat others with the same respect.
To the author: Sir, I find your article to be full of biases and stereotypes that are simply unfounded and encourage you to speak to some homosexuals about this show before publishing your article. I am even more shocked that you post behind the guise of being “Christian,” while replying to comments with things like “you depraved half-wit” or “Sadly, you kinds of sassy Sallys probably enjoy prison showers with tattooed Latinos.”
I would encourage you to spend less time writing unfounded stereotypes and taking hurtful stabs at homosexuals though internet articles and more time embracing Christ’s message of love, inclusion, and non-judgementalism. Instead of building people up and providing a positive model for others to follow, you waste time on this article for its controversial factor.
Jesus associated with all kinds of people the world at that time considered “unclean” (lepers, prostitutes, etc.) and preached God’s message of love… he didn’t spend time writing hateful articles intended to “stir the pot.” If you feel so passionate about this topic, I encourage you to reach out to homosexuals on an individual basis and try to “heal” them, if you believe that can be accomplished. Articles like this have accomplish nothing to expanding the kingdom of God.
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8:44 pm
Anonymouse,
Please get off your high chair and your high horse, you childish buffoon. Your degrading and conceited reponse is unworthy of my attention, to tell you the truth. Who died and crowned you princess of the world? Do you take such a self-righteous and superior tone with the people you encounter on your daily strolls through whatever bubble gum lala land you inhabit? Or maybe they don’t let you wander beyond the asylum gates? Yes, I’m telling you that you don’t live in the REAL WORLD like the rest of us. Sure peacefulness and blowing kisses is fine for your 3rd grade crayon competitions, but we’re all adults here and the adult world is harsh, difficult and full of disgusting people. Call me when you’ve woken up to reality.
Stephenson
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9:05 pm
Sorry Stephenson, as a poster to CHRISTwire.org, I thought you would be familiar with some of these bible verses – Luke 6:31, John 8:34, 1 Corinthians 13:13, and especially 1 John 4:7: “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.”
Attacking me and accusing me of living in some fantasy land does not seem to coincide with the biblical message of love (nor does your article). I realize the world is not all “rainbows and sunshine,” but as witnesses of the Lord, we should strive to model the life of Christ and I don’t think your article or reply to me does either of those things. Christ too lived in this world and taught these same messages while people mocked him.
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9:25 pm
Your arrogance is astonishing.
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2:49 am
As is yours.
I would like to thank you though, your hypocrisy has made this site comedy gold.
Might i suggest you listen to the song “City of Delusion” by Muse.
Somehow it relates to people like you and your quite “old-school” ideals.
But once again, thank you, and I hope you continue with these articles that show your immaturity and hypocrisy. They do make several people’s days around here.. but please stop acting like a child.
-maturity
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9:22 pm
This is hysterical:)
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10:39 pm
Here is the image for this article that some people were too afraid to view.
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7:16 am
dear billings,
please explain to me the parallels between these two photos.
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3:15 pm
Programs like the Golden Girls are filled with liberal propaganda. This show is responsible for turning a lot of boys gay. It destroyed a lot of lives. Now is the time to start taking action and elect Sarah Palin President in 2012. That way we can begin to take down Lucifers Army.
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11:05 pm
The Bible says “Thou shalt not judge.” PLUS, I’m a straight girl who loves the show regardless. Don’t just focus on homosexuals because there are a lot of straight people who love the show. Have you watched the whole series??
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11:43 am
“Thou Shalt Not Judge” is one of the biggest cliches in the anti-Christian canon. You people overuse that comment mercilessly, having no clue what it means. Well, to be a true evangelical Christian today concerned with saving souls means that you MUST JUDGE. I know you liberals wants an “anything goes” society where we won’t judge the embezzlers, murderers, pedophiles, pornographers, drug smokers, etc. Oh, maybe we should just let these people act on their inner most desires because the Bible says not to judge! STOP IT! You’re crazy and you have no clue what the Bible means. It is my role to judge, to point out how society is failing humanity at every turn.
And I am sorry to have to tell you all this but yes, the Golden Girls failed young boys everywhere in the 1980s by making them so sassy their mothers couldn’t deal and probably turned to cigarettes and vodka in the back yard because they were so upset. Are you people happy now?
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12:20 pm
““Thou Shalt Not Judge” is one of the biggest cliches in the anti-Christian canon. You people overuse that comment mercilessly, having no clue what it means.
hmmmmm…..i guess then the Bible is a cliche´. Sir, your comment shows how DESPERATE and SAD wolves in sheep’s clothing like you have become, trying to grasp onto an ideology of judgement and hate you have created for yourselves, twisting the simple and strait-forward ideology of Christ into the ideology of Satan who has clearly fooled you.
“Well, to be a true evangelical Christian today concerned with saving souls means that you MUST JUDGE.”
We don’t need Satan’s heroes…..our job is to save ourselves. Spend your time saving your own.
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11:14 pm
Wow. The only way I got through this was by laughing at it. Do you honestly think your hate is ‘christian’? Because, I’m sorry, you’re wrong. I find extreme comfort in knowing people like you are going to hell. Heaven will be far too fabulous for you.
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11:25 pm
Hahaha, what a cute little troll you are.
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1:42 am
seriously, guys. read all of his replies to everyone. they keep getting worse and worse. i was SO angry when i read this article. and his replies were making me even more upset. i couldn’t WAIT to give him a piece of my mind. and i thought everyone who was saying it was satire was just trying to pretend he wasn’t being serious. but then, by the time i’d read about halfway down the replies, i started realizing…he’s NOT serious. oh my god, you guys. the comments about Tom Selleck, chest hair, forearms, young boys…at first it was pretty subtle…maybe too subtle. (i certainly got pretty angry. but i guess that was the point.) but i think after people kept getting really REALLY angry, he made his subtleties a little less subtle. seriously, guys. before anyone else gets any more upset, read all his comments. it’ll make you feel a LOT better.
PS – i hope he replies to this. i’d feel kinda like a celebrity. and i hope he doesn’t delete this post b/c it gives him away. oops.
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11:25 am
“I won’t insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said.” — William F. Buckley
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12:23 pm
please…insult my intelligence. and be detailed about it. i’m super gay. you are, too. the Golden Girls rock. my Mom loves me. you’re not a Christian. and, ummm…you’re not a real journalist.
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1:16 pm
I see you’re desperate for a little attention like some hyper poodle that has been locked in the bathroom while his momma goes to work. I’m sorry but I don’t have time to provide personal counseling for every under-medicated sex radical who rubs up against me looking for handouts and hugs. Don’t you gays have flashy clubs and chat rooms on Man hunting.com where this sort of thing happens? I thought the gay “community” was notorious for its self-support? To tell you the truth, I have always doubted this claim. The gays I have unwittingly encountered have been very quick to attack each other, disparaging another homosexual for an outdated pair of shoes or a used-up shaved-chest boyfriend. It always has to be new and fresh with your people! No wonder you’re obsessed with Lance Bass.
In any event Simon, I can also see you’re a bit of a masochist. Are you typing your messages from some cellar dungeon in Des Moines while your beer-bellied daddy-master braids his rainbow-colored leather whips? Do you feel my insightful, beautiful words like lashings on your abundant, springy buttocks? You are really the most debauched person I have seen on this message board today. You may claim to be “super,” but that’s a word that should only be used by teen girls. But hey, like a teen girl you’re probably just as in love with Britney and the Jonas Brothers, so no surprise there. Your inept tirades might make you seem smart in your flaming peer group. But honestly, take a look around you: you’re surrounded by screeching gays whose deepest intellectual discussions have to do with Elton John’s hairpiece. Or else you’ve inserted yourself in the middle of a herd of hairy, shirtless immigrants who speak in grunts and howls while they violate unknown intimate parts in 6am basement parties. Are you really happy with this sort of life? It all sounds so painful and unrequited. Please don’t send me any photographs.
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8:12 am
What a joke- nice laugh though- love the GGs myself, and of course it made me gayer. of course the sleeping with men thing helped.
Stepehen Billings states he has credentials but is really just another of life’s loser hacks who cannot cope with being a loser hack so clings to some (cue dramatic music)big God in the sky who (of all the amazing and talented people in the world) chooses the intellectually stunted, feeble-minded, and emotionally needy to be his “chosen” and saved” – and suddenly he is not life’s loser hack any more- but he SPECIAL!!!
As soon as I hear “christian” and “religious” I think “moron”, dimwit”,”incapable” and I just want to pat them on the head with while handing them their handicap parking sticker and staying ” I saw you on the telethon – YOU DID REALLY WELL Corky!!!”
I have long felt that if the extremely religious are so convinced they are chosen for eternal life, then – alla the Romans- let’s send them there and get them out of the way! of course the tongue and cheek comment wil be seixed upon to say I am a evil, God hating homosexual but that is b/c they are are to dumb to full yunderstand humor, wit, etc. Byt what can you expect of a group whose big rock star was a person that goit mailed to a cross ! MARTYR-ME-MUCH???
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9:48 am
I can’t believe so many of you fell for this. It’s obviously satire, and hysterical satire at that.
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9:51 am
Your parody of the christianists is very entertaining. Thank you!
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10:37 am
What a hoot! I laughed out loud all alone sitting in front of my computer. I don’t care if this Stephenson Billings (a VERY gay name, by the way) is serious or tongue in cheek (upper or lower), he’s warmed the heart of this tired, old, gay fart. I love the Golden Girls, but I was gay way, way before the eighties. Keep up the good work, Billings.
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11:30 am
Asa, my heart goes out to your friends and family who have witnessed you selecting the homosexual lifestyle despite their best efforts to keep you on the straight and narrow. It is not an easy world to inhabit– the sassy catiness and expensive fashion trends– but I would suggest that if you’ve grown tired of it you will be welcomed back into the heterosexual fold with open arms (you’d have to give up all the pornography, however). With love, Stephenson.
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11:38 am
I blew a load over my Golden Girls poster while reading this, and I’m going back for a second round. God, thank you for such sweet sweet memories!
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11:51 am
Since some regular bloggers on this site seem to enjoy the male jock physique so much, I thought I would share the French footy team!
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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1:46 pm
While I enjoy athletics and the men who engage in them, I find this photography outrageous.
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2:06 pm
i agree with you, Stephensonmanshipbergland. outrageous! where’s the rest of the team?
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12:46 am
Mmmm…pretty!!
I want the dark haired one with the pretty butt:)
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12:47 pm
Woof! Woof! Woof! – I’ll take ‘em all, honey!
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1:12 pm
Brilliant satire!!! I to admit it, you had me going there for a while, but it was so over the top I realized you had to be kidding! I love the little touch of adding that you work with children to your Bio and that you are unmarried… you are the new “Ed Anger!”
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2:19 pm
I seriously hope this article was satire or something like that, but in the event that it might not have been the author should be reminded that Jesus loved ALL. He may not have agreed with what ALL others did with their lives, but he still loved them and never would have treated them badly regardless of the choices they had made in their own lives. Just a little something I learned growing up Christian. We should all try to remember to love others and not throw stones unless we would like stones thrown at ourselves.
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2:20 pm
I find this article appalling. I just dont understand why you have so much hatred in you towards homosexual people. Had I been able to “choose” my sexuality I would have chosen to be straight to live a “normal” life. As hard as I fought to be a straight man, it took me until 30 years old to accept that I am not in anyway attracted to women. I played sports, joined a fraternity, only had male friends, regularly went to church, never deviated from the heterosexual life. During all of these years I was 100% miserable and deep inside knew that I couldnt live a lie like that anymore. I knew I was gay from as early as I can remember. It wasnt a choice at all. What fascinates me is what verses of the Bible that Christians choose to interpret into their daily lives and what verses they choose to ignore. A piece of literature that was written thousands of years ago that people choose to interpret in their own way. Christianity is a dying religion – perhaps if it were not for bigots such as yourself, more homosexual people would embrace the religion rather than deviate away from it because of the amount of hatred that stems from Christians who choose to interpret the Bible in a literal way. Only six or seven of the Bibles one million verses refer to same sex behavior in any way while none of the verses refer to homosexual orientation as it’s understood today. This website has completely blown my mind. I cannot believe that people like this exist in our country and IF there is a God or Jesus, its doubtful that he/they would condone such hatred. Maybe its time for you to write about something positive and uplifting.
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2:52 pm
Very interesting article, especially from a man who claims to be a investigative journalist with “credentials.” The writing is at an 8th grade level, at best, and it is obvious that no research was actually done.
You may have listed sources, but it is clear that you didn’t actually read or conduct research from any of the sources. If you did, then you obviously couldn’t comprehend them. We can see this is the broad generalizations you make, as well as how your view of homosexuals seems to be based only off of the extreme stereotypes that make it into the major media sources.
In all honesty, you’re just another snarky blogger, looking for attention and trying to push your own narrow-minded agenda.
I do agree with some of the others leaving comments that your work seems to have the same taste in satire that The Onion might use. In the end, you’re either an excellent actor who is just “trolling,” or a conservative radical.
Either way, I enjoyed the article like I would enjoy listening to a four year old rant about how mowing the lawn hurts the grass and is therefore wrong.
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3:09 pm
Quit gay bashing.
and now back to reality… c’mon now. as if any of this is factual or even worth reading. zzzzz
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3:40 pm
Is this a Christian web site? I think it’s funny that there is a banner ad at the top of the page for GayLatinoDating.com!
I rest assured that this site has no credability and does not get taken seriously.
God Bless,
Bobby
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4:09 pm
I am shocked.
I have NEVER been more appalled in my entire life.
Whoever you are, you’re completely backwards.
Because:
1] You’re the one sneering inside, thinking you’re better. You think gays are pedophiles, evil, dirty, sinful, hateful, inferior, outrageous, and anarchists. Well, isn’t everyone? And aren’t you afraid of them “taking over”? You’re the one who is scared, you’re the one who is jealous, YOU’RE the one is trying to take over. You’re the one who says hateful things like “Keep your nail polished fingers off the edge of my pasta dish,” and mock them by saying, “Promise you won’t peek at me while I’m trying on my swimsuit in the dressing room.” When was the last thing a gay person said anything like that to you?
You’re the hypocrite.
2] You think your Christianity puts you above them, because they’re “sinners.” (Well, you used to be one, too, unless you still are.) But it doesn’t. It puts you below. You’re here on earth to serve people, not mock them and provoke them. And THEY’RE the ones putting up with YOU and your hate. How ridiculous. No wonder they “hate you for your Christianity.” They have perfect reason to.
3] Jesus came for the sinners. Not the bloggers who have all the right ideas, who are fine on their own. The first shall be last, and the last shall be first.
I can only see you as a Pharisee, telling people how to live right. Go read your Bible. You have no idea what life is about.
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4:15 pm
I am shocked.
I have NEVER been more appalled in my entire life.
Whoever you are, you’re completely backwards.
Because:
1] You’re the one sneering inside, thinking you’re better. You think gays are pedophiles, evil, dirty, sinful, hateful, inferior, outrageous, and anarchists. Well, isn’t everyone? And aren’t you afraid of them “taking over”? You’re the one who is scared, you’re the one who is jealous, YOU’RE the one is trying to take over. You’re the one who says hateful things like “Keep your nail polished fingers off the edge of my pasta dish,” and mock them by saying, “Promise you won’t peek at me while I’m trying on my swimsuit in the dressing room.” When was the last thing a gay person said anything like that to you?
You’re the hypocrite.
2] You think your Christianity puts you above them, because they’re “sinners.” (Well, you used to be one, too, unless you still are.) But it doesn’t. It puts you below. You’re here on earth to serve people, not mock them and provoke them. And THEY’RE the ones putting up with YOU and your hate. How ridiculous. No wonder they “hate you for your Christianity.” They have perfect reason to.
3] Jesus came for the sinners. Not the bloggers who have all the right ideas, who are fine on their own. The first shall be last, and the last shall be first.
I can only see you as a Pharisee, telling people how to live right. Go read your Bible. You have no idea what life is about.
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4:40 pm
hahaha..”journalist” …bwahhahaa….. Not one bit of evedience has been posted by this “journalist” Not one. Every single one of his responses have been “Jesus told me”
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4:56 pm
Hey Steven, I’m surprised you didn’t put up one of your favorite right wing posters with this article. This one is most appropriate.
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1:28 pm
Stevie Boy isn’t homosexual; he’s a pedophile. These look like young men depicted in the picture and Ole Chum like ‘em 14-18.
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4:57 pm
seriously, guys. stop getting so upset. he’s putting you on. yeah, satire’s cute and fun for the writer…and the people who get it. but i don’t like knowing there are other people getting really bothered and offended. i guess he’s making a point or something. maybe pointing out the absurdities of some people in society who possibly think something as ridiculous as a tv show turning someone gay. and good for him for that. but i hope you all eventually figure out this is a joke and feel a lot better afterwards.
sorry if this sounds all high and mighty or whatever. i just don’t want too much negativity going on as a result of what is actually a pretty clever joke.
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8:17 pm
hahahahahaha this article was hilarious i mean who would take it seriously it was obviously satire…wait it was satire..right?
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9:06 pm
How could you possibly claim to be a journalist? You used the word irregardless while describing Blanche. Irregardless isn’t a word you two bit hack. Not to mention that this “article” is riddled with inconsistencies, hear-say, and a laundry list of other grammatical errors. You also seem to know an awful lot about homosexual culture. I don’t think i’ve ever met anyone who’s used the terminology or have an understanding of the different subcultures within the community. You better run to church and confess to casting stones little boy. Your anger and resentment of other men will consume you one day. Blaming the golden girls will not further your cause.
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9:35 pm
It’s been about half a century since someone called me “little boy,” but I find your insult adorable nonetheless.
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9:24 pm
Regardless of the actual research done, the author fails to accurately describe the nature of the homosexual male versus the heterosexual male.
Being homosexual doesn’t mean you are a slut.
Being heterosexual doesn’t mean you aren’t a slut.
Heterosexual males are just as sexually motivated and promiscuous as homosexual males.
The author forgets as well that homosexuality isn’t chosen.
Homosexuals aren’t immune to pain. Causing pain through ostracism and hate is nothing new. Christianity is about following Christ, is it not?
Satire should communicate a message concisely and be immediately apparent. All I can see in your diatribe is hate and emotional pain.
I hope that you’re wrong about me.
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9:39 pm
That was just impotent.
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10:47 pm
You want to know what is impotent? Your damn intelligence.
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10:01 pm
“Satire should communicate a message concisely and be immediately apparent.”
Paul, that’s the silliest thing I’ve read on here. Why should satire be “immediately apparent”? Why must we lower the bar for comedy so that everybody figures it out right away? There’s no fun in that. Dorothy would definitely not approve.
“Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody’s face but their own” Jonathan Swift, The Battle of the Books
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7:52 am
OMG What childish debate. If we spend the amount of energy debating on the morality of who loves who on solving world problems that are harming and killing Gods creations (Animals, humans, and nature) maybe we could get somewhere. The original article is a bunch of hate inticing trash. Full of self fulfilling statements with no scientific truth. I have been in a God loving healthy same sex relationship for 13 years. I thought the Golden Girls were OK but I didnt watch it on a regular basis. Please treat this article like road kill. Look for a second, get a queasy stomach, and keep driving. You have better places to be.
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8:39 am
Some of the terms this uhhem “author” uses are unique to the gay community so I am confident this guy is either gay, or as suggested above, does his research in gay bath houses.
Terms such as “bushy-chested beefsteaks or rambunctious twinks or your run of the mill internet power bottoms” are not those one hears in casual conversation even in gay bars.
“Power bottom” is a term that I have only recently heard being used by some of my gay friends so how is this guy aware of it?
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4:27 pm
It is part of my beat as a Christian Investigative Journalist to keep track and study the homosexuals. By doing this, I am providing a service for the faithful. Personally, I am in no way attracted to your perverse, nonstop and shirtless lifestyle. I am a Heterosexual, if that wasn’t clear already. I find the overemphasis on phallic symbols, the bright-colored clothing, the dreadful club music and especially the incredible amount of sodomy just disgusting.
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8:44 am
You can’t reference a pop culture book about a gay man’s guide to the Golden Girls as a “study.” Too funny! Please, do more, do more! Seriously man, you should do this as a stand up routine.
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8:51 am
By the way, there is not a single gay man I know that would have anything to do with an ugly troll like you. Post your avatar picture in any gay bar and it would be used as a dartboard target…lol.
“… sorry to burst whatever fantasies may have been building up in that little head of yours. Please rub yourself off against some other internet authority”.
That is an egotistical, self-centered and Narcissistic statement. You have no room to point accusations of mental defects at others as yours are so very glaring.
Anyone that takes your writings as either fact or an example of journalism is a fool. Just because you got a toy diploma from a Cracker Jack box that says “Journalist” doesn’t make you one…lol!
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4:32 pm
My size and my looks are perfectly age appropriate for a man such as myself. While I may not be a hairless glamour boy or some oiled-up Latin bodybuilder or some lusty Asian temptress, I have always received the respect and good wishes of my Christian brethren. I don’t know why that terrifies you people so and yes, many people find my intelligence comely.
In any event, don’t you gays like a strong, virile man who knows how to use commanding language? I thought that was part of your secret daddy fetish desire thing. So I know you’re lying when you say you’re not attracted to me. Sorry, but I AM DEFINITELY NOT INTERESTED IN SEX WITH YOU GAYS.
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7:38 pm
“So I know you’re lying when you say you’re not attracted to me.”
How many times do we have to say it? Nobody, male or female, finds you attractive, which I’m sure explains why you’re not married. Nobody wants to imagine themselves in bed with Jabba the Hutt. People are not turned on by fat, balding men with serious body odor, who resemble John Wayne Gacey in both looks and profession. I know that you jack off to your image in the mirror, and I’m sure that a spurt of semen hits your computer screen every time you see your hideous profile picture on this site, but you need to face reality: every normal person on this planet is overcome with nausea upon seeing your disgusting face. You don’t realize it, but you probably walk around every day with a million dollars on you—all of the coins stuck in your fat-folds.
Your self-love is getting worse every day. It’s bad enough that you’re constantly going on about your so-called “intelligence”, but you crossed the narcissistic line once you started marveling over your disgusting body.
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7:48 pm
Claire, I have always thought of myself as your mentor. Now I am getting worried about you. I realize you have frustrations and angers deep inside, but please turn them on growing yourself into a better person, rather than on attacking a kind old fellow like myself.
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10:57 am
You’re far from a mentor for me. In order to be a mentor, the person who is being mentored has to actually agree with the things that are being taught.
“I realize you have frustrations and angers deep inside, but please turn them on growing yourself into a better person, rather than on attacking a kind old fellow like myself.”
Like all humans, I have frustrations, but my only anger is towards you and your fat head. Oh, and you’re not kind in the least. You’re an asshole, plain and simple.
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9:27 am
There is a darkness in this country that is doing its very best to continue its existence. This darkness has a name, and it is ignorance. Mr. Billings’ only goal in this article is to inflame the few people who will read his article and believe the idiocy that he wrote because of their continued lack of self education, and self enlightenment. Unfortunately there will be quite a few people who will believe every misconceived word. And it is a shame that he will use what little intelligence that he has in order to try and manipulate others when his modest talents would surely be of use somewhere.
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9:46 am
If you use the Bible as a source for your opinions on homosexuality you might want to check out what it said in the languages it was initially written in. According to the original Hebrew and Greek languages homosexuality is not a sin and here’s why.
Leviticus 18:22 states: “You shalt not lie with a male as with a woman, it is an abomination.”
• In the original Hebrew text the word used for “abomination” was toevah which means “unclean (meaning something associated with Gentiles), dirtiness or taboo”.
• They did not use the Hebrew term zimah which means an injustice or a sin.
• In Greek toevah is translated as bdelygma, which means a ritual offense.
• It was not translated anomia, which means a violation of law or a wrong or a sin.
• Neither was the word poneria used to translate toevah, which means “evil practice”.
• Neither was asebia, which means “ungodliness”.
• These words could have been used but weren’t.
Clearly Leviticus does not state that homosexuality is a sin, only a social taboo. If you think social taboos are enough on their own remember that these cultures owned slaves.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 states: “…neither idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, not thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God.”
• The word “homosexuals” was translated from two Greek words, malakoi and arsenokoitai. Until 16th Century, malakoi meant masturbators. How was this transformed in “homosexuals”, a word that didn’t exist 100 years ago?
• Arsenokoitai translates literally into English as “man-sleeper” or “the one who penetrates”.
Romans 1:27 states: “For this reason God gave them up to degrading passions. Their women exchanged natural intercourse for unnatural, and in the same way also the men, giving up natural intercourse with women, were consumed with passion for one another. Men committed shameless acts with men and received in their own persons the due penalty for their error.”
The original Greek words and meaning for these words italicized above is as follows:
• “Unnatural” is “para physiken”, which is more accurately translated as “unusual” or “atypical”.
• “Degrading passions” is translated from “atimia” which means “Something not highly valued, honored, respected” or something “socially unacceptable”. Paul applies that word to himself because of this devotion to Christ.
• “Shameless” came from “aschemosyne” which means “not according to form”.
• “Penalty” simply means “recompense, deserts or payment” which could be positive, negative or neutral.
• There is no moral implication to any of these words. In their context, they simply imply a social judgment.
In fact, nowhere in the Bible does Jesus say anything about homosexuality.
I always find it sad that people who call themselves Christians spend so much of their time hating and condemning others. Why on earth are you dedicating so much time and effort obsessing on gay men? You need to ask yourself why you aren’t spending as much time obsesing on:
closing down Red Lobster because they serve shellfish
Getting slavery reinstated
Legalizing father’s rights to sell their daughters into slavery
Allowing men to whore out your wife to a king
Having all men deported who have sex with their wifes while they’re menstrating
Making it legal to have first cousins marry
Making Polygamy legal.
The list goes on……
If you’d like a list of the murderous and unethical acts God and the key figures in the bible commit, just let me know. The Bible isn’t a source for morals in any way and neither are you.
Love and Kisses and of course, cheesecake.
Hammond
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6:57 pm
Oh Hammond! I get these sorts of distracting chain emails from time to time. How cute you’ve cut and pasted this one here! Usually there’s some request at the end for my bank account number to help some poor Nigerian General smuggle a few million and his man-harem out of the country.
It is simply ridiculous and pointless to argue that Christianity is pro-homosexuality. Whatever you people imagine the Bible says or doesn’t say, it will never, ever convince the majority that the teachings of the Good Book condone same-sex intercourse. It didn’t work two thousand years ago and it won’t work today. I think you’re wasting your time with these foolish arguments. We can squabble til we’re blue in the face about how the old words were translated and what the Jewish and Roman and Egyptian traditions were back then, but the reality of today’s Christianity is quite direct and solid on this issue. They won’t budge!
If you really want to argue that homosexuality is a nice and pleasant thing, then why not talk about anything (everything?) other than the traditions of Christian faith? You can use biology, modern society, contemporary musical theater, human rights, American ethics, Constitutional law or whatnot to make your claims (all of which I disagree with)– but not Christianity! It’s just silly. It would be as futile as arguing that Glenn Beck doesn’t love America.
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9:55 am
The author claims to have credentials and to have conducted research but has not provided evidence of either…. Where is evidence of his social science research credentials or results of research? Research studies have proven that those who behave this way are sad, lonely, repressed, self hating gay men themselves… Unfortunately, he is allowed to publish his thoughts on the internet which lead to worse things than just discussion, since God loves all of us and forgives us all this poor man needs our sympathy and compassion for being so sick and disturbed…….we shouldn’t engage him since that is why he is doing this..for the attention and to relieve the pent up attractions he has to men
Poor thing….
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5:12 pm
Take the strap-ons out of your ears, and get last nights tricks out of your bed and maybe, just maybe, you can focus and comprehend my article. All this “scientific” proof you request is a dead end. Surely, you’ll just criticize that as inflammatory and illicit. You gay people are never satisfied, especially when it comes to either size or logic. I won’t get lured into your “man traps.”
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10:05 am
Fail!
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12:24 pm
Who conducted this study? is there a study behind at all? is this just someone’s personal opinion? What are the basis? About the credentials of the writer on the subject? WHat reputed institution (Academic, relligios doesn’t count) is behind this findings?
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6:41 pm
“I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move.”– Matthew 17:20
There you go, you pernicious pervert.
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12:45 pm
I started reading this thinking it’s just a bad gay joke written by a horrible gay writer, until I realized it was going too far and it’s on a Christian website, written by a real Christian, a good one I suppose?
First of all, real intellectuals don’t call themselves “intellectual” or use the word “intellectualism”. And an intellectual who spend more than 10 minutes analyzing Christianity and still believe in it and its god, probably has the IQ of crossed-eye crippled chicken with a bad case of ADD, and in your case, maybe OCD too.
Second, I’m not sure if you’re supposed to represent a good Christian example? Because you have done nothing but attacking harmless people that their major “sin” is that your god chose them to be different and suffer from incurable “perversion”. Not only did you make fun of their “disability” but you also mocked their increasing waistline and horrible looks. A real intellectual would take a moment to think about the perversions and the waistlines of his own people first, the heterosexuals. And maybe you need to educate yourself of how many “perverted” sex fetishes you heterosexuals get into before starting to count the gay ones. You seem to be really good at researching gay life style. Maybe you should spend more time researching your Christian life style. At least those homoes have not started wars and slaughtered millions in the name of their god.
P.S. This is written by a flamboyant manicured atheist Microsoft programmer who speaks English as his 5th language.
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6:07 pm
My writing is poignant and insightful. Just because it offends your delicate and flaming sensibilities, don’t discriminate against me by calling it “horrible.” In fact, your writing style is prepubescent and sordid. And so what if I’m a fearless intellectual who is not afraid to say, Yes, I’m a smart intellectual!!! I think you’re just jealous in that catty way competitive gays can be.
Finally, I was distraught to see that you describe yourself as a trashy cuticle cutter with a fetish for outmoded computer systems and perverse sexual encounters. Have you thought of Exodus? They hold fabulous weekend camp getaways where you’ll be alone in the woods with the most virile members of the church and other lusty manparts lickers interested in giving up your corrupt lifestyle. Believe me, every comes back from these getaways very refreshed!
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11:45 am
How do you know? Was that a part of your “research”? Although I doubt any obese drunken lusty manpart licker amputee whore could even get 100 miles near yours.
Another proof that you’re a horrible writer and a dumb 10-year-old-like debater that you attacked a sweet peaceful trashy cuticle cutter with some irrelevant repeated lines of yours, calling him names, how old are you again? Good christian? Whatever happened to old fashioned “god bless your heart” or “burn in hell”!
And no smart intellectual or non intellectual above the ages of 20, still worships a mythical supernatural character and prays for it, AND thinks that it’s actually going to answer the prayer. I’m sorry, your god is too busy shaming the gays than helping those starving diseased orphans. Oh, on a second thought, who gives a shit about those kids, it would rather look after an “insightful” middle-aged american troll who is discriminated against by those evil gays.
I have the write to be a bad writer, I’m simply NOT a writer. I just create those systems that unfortunately helps people like you post their horribly written articles online.
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1:13 pm
fun militarism?????
and that one of the few moments in the article that can even be discussed without complete amazement that someone can think this stuff is even close to reality!
You need a huge dose of reality in your small life. (or some strong anti-crazy pills)
Gave me a good laugh though, and something to send to my friends oversea to show how nutty some americans can get…..keep up the crazy sir!
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11:44 pm
You my dear miscreant, are a complete asshole! This is the funniest diatribe I have read in my adult life. Nagging undercurrent of masculinity? HILARIOUS! I guess spewing venom is your way of dealing with your own undercurrent of desire. What a complete nimrod. Your venom is treacherous.
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1:39 pm
I was REALLY hoping this was satire, but it appears to be on a Christian website…ugh…the author’s arguments make no sense. I also notice that he is a “motivational children’s party entertainer”. WTF is that? That fact alone makes me afraid to have him around any children at all.
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6:17 pm
I bring joy and laughter to many, many children. And I like to throw in a little good old fashioned Biblical teaching into my performances, too. The boys love it! I do some adult parties, but I ask that they limit their alcohol consumption. You’d be surprised how ornery people can get around a man in makeup and a blue wig! Especially after an afternoon of bathtub rum and sweet potato pie.
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9:44 pm
that was a little too far. people are gonna start picking up on it now.
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1:56 pm
Is this article serious or is it just a satirical joke written by a gay person?
Wither way it is funny as hell. Do you think there are people out there that are really ignorant enough to believe that the Golden Girls could make a boy gay? Please tell me this is a joke.
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2:34 pm
Hahahaha!! This is better than anything on the Onion! Oh, and I’d like to point out to some people that this is obviously parody…no need to get so worked up. If someone’s thought process actually worked like this, he’d be too delusional to wipe his own ass.
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4:26 pm
It’s hilarious how many people don’t get that this is satire. The Onion should be so lucky!
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4:37 pm
This is preposterous. I am gay, I came of age in the 1980s, I am a Christian, and I hate “The Golden Girls.” This author of this piece apparently believes every stereotype there is about gay people. It’s like saying all black people are like they are in “Amos and Andy.” This stuff is truly intellectually lazy.
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5:01 pm
this is either the most brilliant piece of satire i’ve ever read or the most offensive thing since senators started having sex in airport bathrooms.
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5:51 pm
This is the funniest crap I’ve read in a long time! Seriously. You should write for Saturday Night Live. My friends and I have been laughing about this article all day.
Seriously though, it was He-Man that made me gay, not the Golden Girls.
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6:30 pm
It is immoral and Un-American that you should disgrace the name of He-Man in this way. Just because he wore what appears to be a very tight leather jockstrap around his man parts and nothing else and had a beautiful head of dirty blond hair and loved to play with that glistening sword while romping around the forest with his best buddies, you homosexuals imagine something perverted there. I am sorry to inform you that it was simply a wholesome show.
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6:04 pm
Nonsense. Everyone knows that Antique Soda Bottle Collecting is what makes you gay.
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6:10 pm
Doesn’t anyone find it interesting that Mr. Billings does not respond to Hammond Brown’s response to the article and it’s resulting comments? I would love to see Mr. Billings not resort to childish playground name calling and respond to what Mr. Hammond has to say.
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6:22 pm
I’m sorry but I don’t have time to respond to every frazzled commenter on here. This is not some “T” party on Fire Island where your speedo-wearing DJ takes requests from every appletini-sipper with plucked eyebrows.
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7:19 pm
Dude, what the fuck is a “T”-Party? Are you referring to a tea-party?
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5:36 pm
Oh Mr. Billings. In using the word frazzled, I assume you were referring to me as a commenter. I wasn’t feeling emotionally worn out or fatiqued when I wrote my comment. I would disagree with your observation that you don’t have time to comment on every frazzled commenter. I counted a total of 60 responses to comments made in response to your article. As of this writing, that means you responded with your typical immature, childish and mocking responses (you proved my point) a total of one quarter of the time. I am sorry to disappoint you but I have never been to a “T” or Tea Party (especially not the republican kind), I have never been to Fire Island, I have never consumed an Appletini nor have I plucked my eyebrows. It is interesting though, how informative you are with your vast knowledge of what I assume you believe goes on in the whole of the gay community. First hand knowledge perhaps? If anyone has cut and pasted it is you. Your article has more patches then the AIDS Quilt does. This is the type of journalism (being a bleeding heart liberal here) that I would expect from the National Inquirer. I would not for one second dare to think let alone believe that any one could convince any right wing conservative christian of anything! Intelligence, critical thinking, willingness to hear the other side and an openmind are required to obtain the above. If anyone is wasting their time, it is you, one quarter of the time. Why should we not use the traditions of the Christian faith when discussing that homosexuality is a “a nice and pleasant thing”, you are the ones who condemn us the most. Your hatred, loathing, hostility and fear mongering is very palpable. You sir are silly! Glen Beck may love America but he loves himself much more. This concept includes his wacky peers, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Dan Savage, Matt Drudge and the cunt of all cunts Ann Coulter (a little info- if you move her hair aside you will find three sixes.) In closing I would implore you to grace my friends and I with your play ground humerous verbage. Have a Happy Day. Hugs and kisses. Harry
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12:00 pm
Stephenson you are such a FAG. You give all these examples of what you perceive as gay behavior, when in fact this is the behavior that you display. Fucking buttlicking FAG.
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6:15 pm
Aside from the ridiculously bad understanding you possess of the “gay” terms you’ve used and the obvious lack of logic exercised throughout this piece, it is just poorly written. Your concept of saying that boys who run around slapping other boys asses for being tough (i.e. jocks)are ‘masculine, straight and ultimately super-cool and acceptable’ and boys who do not are obviously faggots, suffers from not only an irony so thick it cannot be seen through, but it is simply a boring and weightless cliche.
This piece does little more than show you off as an unbelievably ignorant bully who never progressed past the writing ability and mental cognition he possessed in his early grade school days.
My bottom line here is that
1- you are a horrible writer and really should be very embarrassed by your lack of skill and
2- no one and nothing turns you gay, you fucking idiot.
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6:39 pm
Jessica, I am somewhat glad a woman finally spoke up in this parade of flag-waving butt chompers, but your radical views did disappoint me. I stand by the integrity of my writing and my freedom to say what I want, as protected under the USA CONSTITUTION, no matter how much you hate my liberties. Remember, those who forget the past get to repeat it!
“As fascinated as we are with the future, our hearts lie in the past. Old movies, books, vintage photographs; these are the places we go to connect.”– Glenn Beck
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6:43 pm
um guys, this site has ads for gay dating on it. it’s a joke!
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7:17 pm
What about ‘Designing Women?’ Or ‘The Nanny?’ And even ‘Roseanne!?’ I expect a series of these articles mister!
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7:42 pm
Sorry, but I don’t have the time. How about NCIS? I wrote about that terrible show.
Is NCIS The Worst Television Show Ever Made?
http://christwire.org/2009/10/is-ncis-the-worst
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7:19 pm
I forgot to add ‘Living Single.’ The gays had to go after the blacks too!
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7:34 pm
This is one of the most unintentionally hilarious articles I have ever read in my life. I think the best part was “x-rated comedienne Betty White”!!! Betty White? Did I miss her x-rated films?
That is only the tip of the iceberg from this hilariously closeted, self-loathing fool.
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7:35 pm
Hey Stephenson,
I have been battling my carnal desires for homosexual flesh for some time now. I have been trying to do manly things, like woodwork and tent pitching. Unfortunately, these activities haven’t been able to steer me away from my predilections towards interior design and scone baking. I was hoping that you could give me some advise on changing my wicked ways. Jesus bless!
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8:47 pm
What do you think this is, some Provincetown beach party where afterwards we’ll all sneak under the pier for a group hug? No, I’m sorry speedo-gonzales, this is an Evangelical Christian website extolling forward-thinking, pro-American viewpoints. Your debauched Christ-baiting has no place on a website of wisdom.
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8:58 pm
ah ha! the truth comes out! how do you know so much about p’town’s gay crusing spots stevie?
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9:06 pm
I don’t know anything about these offensive “cruising” places. I just drove through once on my way to Boston.
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11:56 am
“drove through”? Is that what they are calling butt fucking these days?
Sicko FAG.
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5:37 am
steven, you can’t possibly drive through provincetown on the way to boston…. ummm… to get there you have to drive for hours to the tip of cape cod. it’s at the end of a peninsula. it’s impossible to “just pass through”… so what were you doing way out there in a famous gay sex haven, anyway?
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7:40 pm
bravo! what a performance. encore! encore!
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7:47 pm
THANK GOD FOR THE GOLDEN GIRLS! THEY’RE FUNNY AS HELL!
THANK MARY FOR THE HOMO’s! LOVE THEM!! Someone on earth has to have good taste and style…btw, did the GG’s make a generation of lesbians too? I hope so!
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7:53 pm
Actually what really made a generation of homo’s were the priests that were molesting young children in the churches…shame on you religious predators…shame on you!!!
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7:54 pm
Actually what really made a generation of homo’s were the priests that were molesting young children in the churches…shame on you religious predators…shame on you!!! GO GOLDEN GIRLS!
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8:02 pm
yo billings your copyright is out-dated, further your website sucks! $post = $wp_query->post;
doh!
what the hell is a children’s party motivational entertainer….you’re not a perv are you? this is in your “bio”…i’m hoping you motivate yourself to not be so ignorant and stupid.
Please have god help you be a better human being, oh wait, better, get the golden girls to help you. At least they’re funnier and much more fun to watch.
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8:04 pm
What a pathetic crock!
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8:05 pm
This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read.
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8:24 pm
The first thing I noticed when skimming this thread is that all of the air-tight objections to this article, exposing it as factually flawed and simply bigoted at heart–Stephenson decides not to reply to them. He only replies to the short and/or poorly-conceived responses.
He avoids the tough questions. What a noble “journalist”.
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8:37 pm
Man up and read up, Jesse. I have responded to as many as I can but you power bottom-dwellers won’t stop throwing slander at me. I can’t help it that you flamers are flaming me.
And you’re completely wrong– I have responded to many readers with studious and thorough responses as to why they’re just creepy and stupid. As for the posts that say, “You don’t have the facts”– well, how the heck am I supposed to respond that stupidity? Of course I have the facts. I’m a Christian, you fool, and I know my Bible very well and I know that sodomy is just plain awful. I have hit a nerve of truth here that’s why so many of these flagrant gays are boiling their tea kettles over my article. Isn’t that obvious?
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8:50 pm
Thank you for the barrage of unfounded assumptions that characterize your lazy and opinion-driven brand of “journalism.” Based on a few sentences of mine, you’ve already concluded that I embody all of the things you fundamentally oppose. Why? Because I disagree with you? Not everyone who disagrees with you is a promiscuous “power bottom-dweller”.
You think you’ve hit a nerve of “truth” just because you’ve raised readers’ ire? Another unfounded assumption. They’re flaming you because you flamed them. They’re offended because you’re offensive. Truth has nothing to do with it. Isn’t that obvious?
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9:17 pm
I just read through several articles on this site and looked at the links page which only links to very liberal left leaning sites. I am convinced this site and the author of this article may in fact be a parody and that the author’s responses to your comments are also part of the parody.
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9:37 pm
I thought this was satire, but you’re serious. Wow, you’ve got a seriously warped sense of reality dude, get some therapy.
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10:05 pm
My guess is this is a joke. Although “Christians” have become so ridiculous and ignorant lately that I guess it could be for real.
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11:24 pm
Wow. This can’t be actual journalism. This has no logical flow. It’s presumption after presumption.
Did somebody hurt you when you were young, Steve? Is there a reason you’re so glued to this agenda? Just wondering!
Peace and love in Christ,
Matt
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11:27 pm
This is wonderful.
What a better way to spread Christianity than through a monotonous, overly clever piece of, of, of, well…I guess I’m the one without a thousand adjectives and nouns.
I’m assuming you wrote this quickly? Perhaps you were the one groping someone’s son in Sears? I’ve found a small trend with such people as yourself.
And I don’t even care to begin with your awfulness as a human being.
How do you get up in the morning? You sound very unchristian to me. As a christian myself (I hate to tout this fact as I’m sure you will think me “high minded”)and I believe that Jesus died and rose again for my sins, and that God is the reigning lord of all.
Yet I do not believe in this.
I believe there is a reason the Old Testament is called “old”
I have also seen the little tiffs you get into with commenters…
My eyes hurt from reading this, I won’t inure my back any further by stooping to your level.
God Bless you ( i do believe he has no choice otherwise)
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11:41 pm
I wonder if you’re taking notice, Stephenson, about even the CHRISTIANS who are responding to this article. It isn’t because they’re “flamers” who resent the “truth” of your pathetic rantings (and how arrogant is it to assume that is the case?) It’s because they see your article is ridiculous, and they’re frustrated that you’re convinced it has any journalistic merit. Maybe like me, they respect the profession, and hate seeing no-count bigots like yourself present their unsupported opinions as just as good as any other honest piece of journalism.
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12:13 am
wait… is this supposed to be funny?
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1:53 am
You know, your ‘voice’ as a ‘writer’ sounds quite gay. I guess that must be how you know so much about our little gay agenda secret re: The Golden Girls. Oh well, we’re busted now. Clever girl!
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8:17 am
Is this a joke? I’m seriously unsure. While you may say you’re a journalist with credentials, any evidence of that is sorely lacking in this piece of drivel you call an article. There’s no references to any sources or bases for any of your arguments made, it’s really just unsubstantiated opinion after unsubstantiated opinion. While you have every right to those opinions, it’s really quite facetious to imply that they are somehow representative of the truth of the situation. Moreover, any journalist worth his salt would know better than to seed any article, in any forum, with vile insinuations and hateful language, because they would know that their duty as the fourth estate is to circumscribe personal bias. Where did you get these credentials? I’m a final year media and communications degree student at the University of Melbourne, Australia, and that’s my authority for why, kind sir, you are an unmitigated jackass.
And I’m sorry, while the Bible may be a source of moral authority (I’ll sidestep that whole debate, and pretend that it is), it doesn’t bear any reflection on your present argument. Even if I concede that the Bible condemns homosexuality, that has no relevance as to why the Golden Girls had any influence on any ‘gay agenda’ that might exist, or act in a causative fashion upon impressionable young men.
In an earlier response to a comment, you seemed to imply you believed this article to be ‘thought-provoking’. And yet you’ve seeded it, and many other responses, with some fairly vile epithets. Insults aren’t thought-provoking, quite the opposite, I should think. I’m no religious expert, but didn’t Jesus Christ, and really the whole New Testament, point out that while you may hate the sin, you should love the sinner? And something about throwing stones and ‘he who is without sin’? Are you without sin?
I won’t engage, as others have, with some of the highly derogatory statements you make about, and apply as a universal measure of, homosexuals. I can recognise a circular argument when I see it, and the thread of responses tells me that anything I did say would simply be thrown back.
In your response to Jesse, you commented that the venom embedded in responses to your article reflected some grain of truth you think is to be found in your writing. Rest assured, Mr Billings, that is not the case. Their fury comes from your unmitigated rudeness, and the lack of any sort of balance within your article. I think, had you presented your opinions in some manner more comparable to journalism or academia, while we might still take offense, we would for the most part recognise your right to disagree, on the face of your own logically-drawn and empircally-demonstrated contentions. Know that your writings have no illustrated basis in reality, and that, not any truth you might think you’ve touched upon, is what these ‘flagrant gays are boiling their tea kettles over.’
Good day to you sir, and I sincerely hope that you realise that Man was given his mind for a reason. I leave it to you to work out what that reason is for yourself.
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12:42 pm
When did Australians become so pretentious? Give me a break, college boy, they may teach you this nonsense in a hoidy toidy classroom but the real world is quite different. A tad more real, actually, and your stupid diatribe is full of liberal high speed self-masturbation unworthy of reading and distracting me in a time of American crisis. You should be ashamed of yourself.
And you’re so gosh-darn pretentious! It’s incredibly annoying. Go back to surf boarding or waxing your armpits or whatever it is Australians do to attract their men.
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12:04 pm
When is it ‘more real’ to insult other human beings, and other entire communities of human beings, you’ve never met, and refuse to learn from the thoughts of others? I only mentioned my hoidy toidy classroom because it was my evidentiary basis for my opinion. And yes, I am liberal-minded. It’s funny how you use that as an insult, when it’s a derivation of ‘liberty’ which, and correct me if I’m wrong, coming from Australia and all (where men’s armpits are smooth and we enschew cars for surfboards), but isn’t that one of the founding values of the USA?
Lastly, ‘self-masturbation’ is what we pretentious college students call a rhetoric tautology: masturbation is by its ordinary definition performed on the self, making your prefix a redundant and repetitive exercise of language.
Oh, and my tone wasn’t pretentious. It was condescending. I can’t seem to help judging you as a human being (or a poor excuse thereof).
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12:29 pm
Mr. Billings, I pray that you take David’s words to heart. One can never know the mind of God, and you clearly show that you have not allowed God into your heart. Though David’s words were condescending, they were articulate and well-considered. I believe that it is through him that God is trying to reach you in the best way on this comment page. Please, Mr. Billings, for your own sake consider your own behavior and turn to the goodness that is the light of Christ. Do not act in anger, and do not judge. Though we may want to save those who are lost around us, it cannot be done in a godless spirit of hate, but with a genuine loving desire for what is best for them. We are all god’s children, even the most vile of homosexuals. God does want us all back in Heaven and does want your help. Negativity is never found in the light of Christ. Contention is a product of the Devil. Once again, I pray for your sake and for the sake of those whose lives you touch that you consider your own need for growth and embrace those lost souls with love, compassion, and a sincere desire to help. The blessings you will be given you will not have room to receive.
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12:33 pm
Oh my…
Did you just?
Did?
You…?
You have actually convinced me that not all people on this site are arses.
Thank you, some of my hope in humanity has been repaired.
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11:25 am
this must be the most ignorant, full of hatred,ridiculous and intolerant article i’ve ever read in my life. Very representative of the current american culture. Disgusting
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12:36 pm
BRAVO!! This is the BEST parody of Conservative idiocy I’ve ever seen! You should write for The Onion. To REALLY amp up the crazy maybe you should have thrown in a little Magnum PI too since Tom Selleck probably lured many more boys down the path of homosexuality and Hawaiian shirt abuse than Bea Arthur. Arguably. She had the deeper voice but he had hairier legs, though that’s not confirmed since her floor length smocks and pants suits prevent us from knowing that for sure.
Of course if you’re ever able to mount your Final Solution for The Gay Problem, you couldn’t go wrong by targeting men who refer to their covered patio as “the lanai.” Not all of them will be gay but “lanai” is a bit too precious anyway and you’re saving them from a life of degradation or even caftan-wearing, which is the same thing really.
Just a point of curiosity, but did The Golden Girls also cause homosexuality in Ancient Greece, Rome, and every other society in recorded human history? Of course not. Silly me. I believe it was Joan Davis in “I Married Joan” who bears that shameful responsibility.
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12:56 pm
Mr. Billings, I must say of all the right wing, religious nutcase lunatics I’ve ever come across, you are something else! You really are just eat up with stupid aren’t you. Personally I have always found when a man constantly comes up with lunatic reasons that boys “become” gay and go to the lengths to promote that insanity that you have, it usually means the person doing the blathering is hiding a deep, dark secret about his own self. I’ll just bet you’ve seen your share of “hairy men of different ethnicities”, Come on Mr. Billings, tell the truth. You get all tingly (down there) whenever you see one of those “leather daddies” you seem to know so much about, now don’t you. Just what are you hiding Mr. Billings? Hmmmmmmmm?
Don’t worry Mr. Billings. Even with all your lies and deceit you’re still going to heaven. And guess what else, all us evil homos will see you there. Won’t it be fun! All that gold and glitter! I’ll just bet there are more homos in heaven than you can shake a stick at. But don’t feel bad Mr. Billings because at least you can be assured that with all the queers up in heaven, that street of gold you’ll live on will be extra shiny. Us homos don’t like clutter and dirt don’t you know.
Till then!
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1:42 pm
This is – possibly – the stupidest thing I have ever read.
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2
7:07 pm
this is the stupidest thing I’ve ever read!
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9:07 pm
This piece is hilarious! And thanks for the plug for my web site!
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5:18 am
Thank you, Jim. I am happy that one of the most noted experts on the influence of The Golden Girls has decided to chime in with his support of my research. Keep up the good fight, old boy!
For more on Jim’s work: http://jimcolucci.com/
Stephenson Billings, Investigative Journalist
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9:43 pm
Wow, I just happened on this site, checked out some of the posts, comments, and particularly this article about the Golden Girls turning you gay, and I too think it’s a parody site. If it is a parody, it’s kind of humorous showing how poisoned and hateful even people who believe they are following the light can be, but if this is a real “Christian” site, as the author insists through every defensive remark and follow-up comment, then this group is pretty much as twisted and perverse as the Phelps’ of the Westboro Baptist Church. There isn’t a single Christian concept observed here. This hateful article incites more hate and ridicule from its readers, the author returns fire with even more anger, hate, and derision as he spews a sickness you don’t usually see in well-adjusted people.
Through my job, I have been around a lot of people dealing with repression and internal hang-ups, and I have to agree with a lot of the respondents here. The unnatural pre-occupation you have with homosexuals and homosexual sex is so clear here Mr. Billings. Have you spoken to a therapist? You need to deal with your demoralized sexuality or you’re going to implode. You exhibit so much rage. Even if your frustration comes from an imagined devotion to Christ and biblical teachings, you have missed the point of so much of His gospels.
Christ spoke of two great commandments, and yet said nothing about the importance of hating homosexuals. Not once. Yet throughout your article, your responses, I looked for as much as a hint of even one of the two great commandments, and I’m sorry, but it’s not here. I saw other “writers” on the site with just as much anger and hate toward an already marginalized group of our society, and similar to you, they too seem to have taken up an unhealthy obsession with gay men, even describing in detail the particular acts you imagine being the most heinous. Your gay fixation borders on sexual fantasy. I’ve always been taught, “If you don’t step too close to the puddle, you won’t fall in.”
If I were you, I think I’d take a few days to really dig down deep and try to understand the source of your hatred and angry motivation toward people different from you. When you write, I would from this point ask myself, “Does this article about Christianity, actually parlay the intent of Christ?” If it doesn’t, maybe you should go through another rewrite until it does.
Bottom line. Stop with the hate, the spread of hate, the name-calling, the fits, the anger, the hysteria, the fear, and the obsession with the gays. They pose no harm to you or your beliefs, except that by judging them, you seal your own fate in the eyes of God. It’s not your place. Just live your life to be as good a person as you say you are; volunteering with children (as long as you aren’t molesting them!), writing uplifting and informative articles that forward the mission of our Savior, and learn to love all your neighbors, as you love yourself and God. There wasn’t really a clause with the exceptions listed. No mention of the gays, or permission to hate and judge them. I think you’ll find yourself getting a lot more out of life spreading love and light, than your current hate and darkness. I don’t really care if you take my word for it, but if you’re as level as you say you are, scroll back a bit and take a look at your responses, your defensiveness, your anger. I think even an emotional cripple such as yourself, will start to see where he’s gone wrong. Good luck.
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1:20 am
The thing you dislike most in yourself is the kind of thing you might jump on somebody else for. God save you from your hatred.
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11:53 am
Stephenson Billings, I know a closeted FAG when I see one, and you definitely are one. Betcha spend you afternoons and weekends at the airport bathroom.
Sicko FAG.
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3:45 pm
wow…i am literally speechless.
this argument is probably the most ridiculous thing i have ever heard, and for that you deserve an award, because i’ve heard some pretty crazy shit. to claim that a tv show has “turned” an entire generation of boys gay is ludicrous. i happen to love the golden girls, and so does my boyfriend (WHO IS STRAIGHT).
and to say that golden girls is only corrupting the homosexuals is insane. the promiscuity and down right wrong things mentioned in this article could affect anybody, any gender.
i must say though, this article has baffled me to the point where i really can’t think of anything else to say, so i’m going to close with one last thought.
“Blanche’s promiscuity is a common model for the personal lives of today’s homosexuals. Most gay relationships last a week.”
if gay relationships only lasted a week, i don’t think they’d be too concerned with wanting to marry the person they’ve been with for years. they’d just act like straight people and marry someone they’d known for 2 hours in vegas.
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11:57 pm
One of my friends linked to your article on his status…I make it a rule to avoid ever commenting on an internet article but feel that I can make an exception in this exceptional case. Your “article” was a stylistically abominable, horribly written, would-be profound collection of sentences that only a high school student could be proud of. I wish that there was any part of your piece that I could find edifying, well-supported, glorifying to Christ, etc. Sadly, I can’t. As a Christian who uses faith balanced with reason to engage our culture, I was at once saddened by your unintelligent representation of a “thinking Christian” and disgusted by your poor command of our language…
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5:22 am
Stick your commentary where the sun don’t shine, buddy.
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10:46 am
Yep! Cause that’s where you like it stuck, Stephenson. You poor pathetic, self-hating FAG.
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9:54 am
Billings, you seem to know an awful lot about The Golden Girls, gay bath houses, and gay life in general for soemone who is such a heterosexual Christian man… Hiding something? Glass houses, my friend. Glass houses.
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2
10:14 am
Even poor, ignorant Rose would know that this story is nothing more than contrived, right wing B.S. Seriously, eat a f-in cheesecake and get a life. I bet if Jesus and his gang ate a cheesecake and gabbed it up once in a while, the world would be a much better, and much safer place.
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11:34 am
Hypocrisy is the greatest of all sins and you who speak hatred and judgment have no business calling yourself loyal followers of Christ. This writer is just feeding his own ego at the cost of others. He is equivalent to Satan and you who agree with his article and go along with his hateful ignorance, are Satan’s followers who call yourselves Christian…. you are wolves in sheep’s clothing. Spend time correcting your own sins and stop being consumed with the sins of others.
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11:44 am
The poor closeted man that wrote this article… I feel so bad for him. He writes these brainless articles by day and lurks in rest areas and x-rated theaters by night. Or he doesn’t do that nighttime activity enough. Someone, please, have mercy on this poor man and give him what he truly is lacking… it will put him in a better mood and help him think more clearly.
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8:57 pm
You know nothing about me.
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4:42 pm
Yes we do. You’re a closeted FAG.
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4:35 pm
this article painfully elides the influence of Sophia–the ultimate power bottom–who inspired gaggles of gay italian trolls with tricked-out perms to move through life as if they own it because they’re “from sicily” and “connected.”
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6:30 pm
I think your theory is wrong. Let me tell you my story.
I came of age before the Golden Girls ever hit the small screen. Maybe it was Randolph Mantooth in Emergency, or Gregory Harrison in Trapper John, M.D. that made me gay, or the many men of S.W.A.T, Hill Street Blues, etc.
As to your theory about sports, that might be the one thing you’re partially right about. But I always found traditional sports like baseball, football, and basketball boring as hell. I’d rather watch paint dry. Now a hockey game, I can get into it purely for the blood sport. And as a kid I wasn’t delicate at all and I have the scars to prove it. And as a kid I was more the biking, jogging, swimming type.
I really don’t have an effeminate bone in my body. In fact I also own guns, have shot trap, and done target practice. But I do it because when you Christofascisti start gunning for me, I can return fire.
But I’m as gay as they come. So please, come up with a new theory because I’ve just shot your theory full of holes.
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6:45 pm
Oh yeah, and if gay relationships only last a week tell me why myself and my other half have been together for nearly 900 weeks.
That is the one thing the religious bigots will never get. Sure there are statistical outliers in the gay community that whore it up, just like there are in the straight community, I’ve known my share in both communities. But the vast majority of people be they gay, straight or otherwise, lead pretty much the same lives as everyone else. We’re all under the bubble of the bell curve and out towards the tail end.
And if you trace the religious argument to biblical strictures, you find the root in Leviticus 18:23. But people conveniently omit other abominations too. You know what I’m talking about, read the rest of that particular book and you’ll see that that shrimp dinner is an abomination too.
And they “They shall surely be put to death…” bit strikes me as a later addition.
Then of course you have that darling Saul of Tarsus aka St. Paul and his anti-gay and misogynist bovine effluvia. You can finds that in 1 Timothy and in Romans.
The Bible as it stands was written by MEN. It wasn’t the divinely inspired word of God, but the biases of those men.
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12:12 am
This is so insane I want to go loot buildings downtown. As a former pentecostal missionary I would like to say… you are the reason spirituality left the church. I have known many gay people. One thing I can generalize from their day to day lives is that they are so busy just being happy they don’t have time to organize an agenda. If you wanna look at destructive behavior, why not a closer focus on the malicious agenda which is daily pressed upon the world by “spiritual leaders” who fuel their hate with ignorance and cloak their arrogance and evil with choir robes and holy garb. Get a real GOD!
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1:33 am
At first thought this was some sort of parody! As a gay Christian I find this guy a crackpot. There will always be extremist on both sides…and yes everyone is entitled to their opinion…but this is down right rude, crude, un-true and very UN-Christian like. Why am I responding to this? BTW, I did go back and look at some of this guy’s other’s articles…one was called “What Would Jesus Do?”…
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1:49 am
Your first thought, go with that. Seriously, look around.
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1:45 am
Seriously. The number of dumb people with internet access is astounding. Please tell me most of the commentators here are in on the joke. It’s just too sad if it’s not true.
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9:01 am
You seen to know a lot about streroetypical gay terminology and lifestyle – was there enough room for the computer in your closet?
Speaking of stereotypes aren’t you the stereotypical, large, bald, flaccid, unattractive, unquestionably heterosexual male with an axe to grind – ‘cos your butt is still throbbing from the last meat injection?
The article could almost be percieved as clever if it wasn’t so, well… bitter!
Anyone else noticed the author’s uncanny resemblance to Dorothy’s folically challenged, terminal-loser husband Stan?
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12:41 pm
I am very distraught over this whole issue. I really haven’t known where to turn as my Priest won’t do me because he says I’m too old for him. The only answer came to me via the Spirit of Bea Arthur just last night. Bea said “John, you must put the show up again as soon as you have a nice upscale Theatre space.” I said, “but Bea, what Theatre space would I do the show that features 5 gay men working out their obsession with a bunch of elderly women?” And Bea said “The Meta Theatre on Melrose in Hollywood” and then Estelle Getty chimed in and said “Then take it to Palm Spring you putz.” To which Bea replied “Shady Pines Ma”. But I take the afterlife pretty seriously, so now we’re going to do both. You can get details on our website http://www.thegoldengays.com Oh, and Stephenson, Bea Arthur left me with a message for you, but it was a younger version of her, calling herself Maude I think. She said “God’ll get ya for that Stephenson”. And then she shouted http://www.thegoldengays.com
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8:32 pm
In America we spell it “Theater” you numb skull.
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3
11:21 am
What’s the language called, jackass?
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4:31 pm
I think in losing so many elections in the past decade the Christian ‘right’ has completely lost their minds at this point. Society left them behind and now they feel lonely and have to spout nonsense hoping someone will take them seriously… Too bad none of us do. But, the amusement factor is incredible and I personally thank you for that.
Also anyone with half a brain could read between the lines of your piece and see the frustration of an inner homosexual waiting to bust out. When you talk about the bathhouses and the rough gruff masculinity of other men… these are not things that actual straight men think about or discuss – it is beyond their purview. Simply put sir there is something critically wrong with you. And the so called ‘little boys party’ or whatever that is you’re a part of? Thats just plain disgusting and sick. Stop writing and see a counselor before you endanger yourself or the public or OUR children!
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4:57 pm
“I would never appear in Palms Springs on February 4th. Surely this is some debauched set up for the types of gang rapes of honest heterosexuals that your fragrant gays often engage in. I will not submit my Christian body to your vile, endless desires and would not allow you to profit from whatever videos would inevitably ensue from such a raunchy encounter. I know you people are always videoing your intimate copulations for resale and while I cannot really understand it, I find it both unseemly and outrageous.”
Jesus Christ would be ASHAMED of you! Jesus told Christians to love all even your enemy. Judging ANYONE is God’s job and his alone. For you to call yourself a Christian is a smear to the religion you claim to follow. Homosexuality may not conform to Christian morales but I seriously doubt that you are eligible to be throwing stones. Your blind hatred towards “the gays” or anyone for that matter will be a subject you’ll have to answer for on your judgment day. For the record, homosexuality is found in nature (chimpanzees, dolphins, cats, elephants, and penguins are only a few species that engage in it) and those who are, are born that way. You don’t have to be hit by a bus to know it’s going to hit. I don’t have to have sex with a woman to know I’m not going to like and I didn’t have to watch a single episode of the Golden Girls to know I was gay.
I feel sorry for you because writing an article such as this, shows the hate that harbors in you. Any excuse you use to validate this hate towards anyone is an affront to God especially when you use his name to do it! I hope one day you’ll learn what love really is because the world will be a better place if you do. You should also learn respect for other cultures in this world. It would seem that you would impose your religion on the entire world by force and have biblical laws set in place to ensure that. Thank GOD that we live in a country that is close to free and realizes how dangerous a theocracy can truly be.
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8:03 pm
hey Mr. Technologically Retarded,
I’m looking at your article right now on this page and the current google ad on the lower-right is one for an interracial gay dating site. Aren’t people going to get a little confused about your message?
You might want to toggle your ad options- since Google ads are often generated to match your site content, your ads are going to show an awful lot of gay people if you don’t fix your ads preferences.
Just sayin’.
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8:54 pm
I’m sorry you had to see an ad like that. I will ask the tech team to look into it.
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3
12:34 pm
“Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package!”
Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer???
WTF???
The fact that people would let you anywhere near their children is frightening.
You need to either start taking your meds again or get some counseling. This article is completely ridiculous on so many levels.
And for the record, I’m a straight white male – and I think you’re a homophobic nut job.
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7:45 pm
I am a respected Christian Investigative Journalist and a talented performer, so keep your slander to yourself buddy. What I do takes a lot of love and discipline and children really do appreciate my work.
“The arrival of a good clown exercises a more beneficial influence upon the health of a town than the arrival of twenty mules laden with drugs.” –Thomas Sydenham
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8:26 pm
Respected? Haha, yeah, and I’m Mickey Mouse!
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2:44 pm
Ok, first things first….I wholeheartedly believe that YOU are gay and you just don’t know it yet. Hence, the defensive language in your article and the crazy archaic accusations you make throughout. FYI I am a straight woman yet I have many homosexual friends, but OH NO I better watch out I might catch the gay bug from them, right?? Oh, and by the way, is that a joke about Miami Vice? You think the Golden Girls produced a generation of gay people yet you have no problem with the two men in Miami Vice? Haha you’re a first class idiot!! It’s 2009 you jackass get the fuck over your stereotypes and retarded beliefs. You make offensive generalizations about an entire group that are so false it’s sickening. Show me where you are getting the “proof” and the “fact” for this article. Obviously you are bothered by gay people so I’m assuming you don’t really surround yourself with anyone who is homosexual, so where?? Ugh, there is nothing worse in this day and age than bible humping freaks like you who believe every damn word written in that book. You aren’t supposed to read those passages LITERALLY, and that’s the problem with fanatics like you. Just to let you know that book was written by men, yes MEN, just like you. If you are reading the bible in a literal sense and treating people like absolute garbage because you don’t understand the passages, well then I’m pretty sure God is laughing up above at how you and your other freaks are going to fucking burn for all of eternity. God only cares about people who treat others kindly. He doesn’t give two shits about a book, churches or earthly beliefs—don’t you get it yet?!?!. You’re a fucking idiot. So many christians are fucking idiots!!! what’s wrong with you people????
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7:58 pm
“Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.” -I Corithians 6:9-10
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2
8:34 pm
Haven’t you already spewed that shitty biblical quote several times?
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8:27 pm
You will burn in Hell Stephenson Billings.
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10:51 pm
As Bea Arthur would say in character as Maude: God’ll get you for this — you moronic idiot!
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4:58 am
The is a Christian website? There is nothing Christian about that hate filled invective. I mean, dude, seriously, you pray to God with the same foul mouth that uttered that garbage? Good luck to ya, you’ll need it!
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9:20 am
This is truly hilarious!
What an ode to the Golden Girls. Clearly the author has a little secret he’s trying to tell us…
Come out, come out, wherever you are…
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7:48 pm
Quite simply, you are egregious and offensive.
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6:34 pm
For the record, the gays faith in Bea Arthur paid off. In her will, Arthur bequeathed $300,000 to NYC’s Ali Forney Center for homeless gay youth.
Sounds like she took to heart Christ’s imperative:
“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”
— John 13:34-35 (KJV)
http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/TV/10/29/bea.arthur.donation/index.html?iref=mpstoryview
Let’s review the score:
God’s Love and Gays 1
Hate and Discrimination 0
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7:53 pm
“The men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.” –Romans 1:27
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8:23 pm
“That can I;
At least, the whisper goes so. Our last king,
Whose image even but now appear’d to us,
Was, as you know, by Fortinbras of Norway,
Thereto prick’d on by a most emulate pride,
Dared to the combat; in which our valiant Hamlet—
For so this side of our known world esteem’d him—
Did slay this Fortinbras; who by a seal’d compact” – Horatio, “Hamlet”
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6:44 pm
I’m glad I threw my sin T.V. out years ago, this new show looks absolutely filthy.
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6:44 pm
You folks are despicable meanspirited, evil bigot’s. Running around calling yourselves Christians. Shame on you.
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8:11 pm
You idolize your “celebrities” and their debauchery as the Greeks once worshipped the wicked ways of their pagan gods.
“It is not without reason that the poets called Hercules a cruel wretch and a nefarious scoundrel. It was tedious to recount his adulteries of all sorts, and debauching of boys. For your gods did not even abstain from boy flesh, one having loved Hylas, another Hyacinthus, another Pelops, another Chrysippus, another Ganymede. Let such gods as these be worshipped by your lazy wives, and let them pray that their husbands be such as these– so effeminate; that, emulating them in the same practices, they may be like the gods. Such gods let your boys be trained to worship, that they may grow up to be men with the accursed likeness of sodomite fornication on them received from virile gods” –Clement of Alexandria, Exhortation to the Greeks
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7:44 am
It sounds like this stephenson billings is a real closet case. watch out for mens restrooms, this guy is probably the next larry craig.
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9:10 am
Hi Stephenson,
This article is right on. Something needs to be done about the gay agenda in this country. Our children have been brainwashed with programs such as this and other filth found on networks such as MTV, MSNBC, Nickolodeon, and CNN just to name a few. A lot of this has to do with whose President. Our children need a good Christian role model who actually has some brains. In 2012 it is imperative that we get Sarah Palin into the White House. Maybe then we can start getting some censorship and start creating good wholesome programs for kids. How do these people expect to go to Heaven and be with our Lord Jesus Christ? I do not want my kids exposed to any kind of homosexual propaganda. Anway I could go on and on. Keep up the good work Stepenson.
Scott
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1:58 pm
Censorship?!?!!? What are you, some sicko commie?
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2:13 pm
Hey, don’t be flinging those ugly terms around. We ain’t no Godless commies hear. There’s a difference between a government forcing people what they can and cannot watch or read, and filtering out the filth that pollutes our society and poisons the minds of our youth with drug, sex, hip-metal, heavy-hop, and homo-gay agendas. This new show sounds like exactly the kinda thing that should be taken off the air, but that does not make us commies. That makes us right.
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5:43 pm
I am being called a commie. You are the one who loves hitler or i mean obama.
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6:00 pm
Goodness gracious, I don’t even know where to start with that statement.
Let’s see, maybe you should actually educate yourself about Communism, Hitler and the National Socialist Party and Obama’s policies before you go making statements like that.
But, I know that’d be too hard for you, so you just let yourself be brainwashed, by what, Fox News? What’s left of the Republican Party? ha ha ha.
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5:26 pm
Oh, good lord, you have children??????!?!?!?!?!?!?
We’ll then, let’s hope they are all gay. Maybe then you’ll become aware of your evil ways.
But, you’d probably just disown them, like a “good christian” parent and they’d end up committing suicide. But such is your life full of hate.
…God is love. You are hate.
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5:33 pm
Better dead than gay. Fortunately, I raised my children right, so they know that the only place a male’s no-no zone is meant to go is into his wife’s no-no zone and that the only thing to go into a female’s no-no zone is her husband’s no-no zone.
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5:52 pm
Wait, I thought you were an adult, but you’re talking like a 5 year old…
And, wow, you want your children dead. That’s nice.
…God is Love. You are Hate.
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5:58 pm
I never said I want my children dead. I love them very much, because they are not gay. If they did chose to be gay, they would no longer be my children and I would see no harm in delaying their hasty descent into the fires of Hell.
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6:10 pm
No one chooses to by gay, idiot.
I’m sure you when you are trolling the airport bathrooms for sex with men, it’s not a choice is it?
The only choice you made was to lie to yourself and your wife, pretending to be straight.
And yeah, that’s great, you’d disown your own children because God made them gay. That’ll get you into Heaven for sure!
Good luck!
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6:10 pm
I never said I wanted my children dead. If one was to be gay I would still love him/her, but would hate the sin. people can be saved and there are many organizations that can get gay people back on the right track and away from that horrible lifestyle. i would help the child by turning to the Lord and using prayer. its never to late to be saved, something you should think about memaw.
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6:19 pm
Scott, please educate yourself. I know it takes time, but please.
Being gay is not a “lifestyle,” it’s a way of being. I know that may be hard for you to grasp, but try to think it through.
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6:25 pm
“And yeah, that’s great, you’d disown your own children because God made them gay”
God doesn’t make children gay, Satan does by sneaking into their rooms at night and whispering into their ears that its fun to put other boy’s serpent scepters into their mouth or no-no zone or by telling young girls that being a feminesbian is the right path for a modern woman to take. If my children were not smart enough to see Satan’s lies for what they are, then they would deserve to be disowned. If, like Scott suggested, they saw the error of their ways and returned to Jesus, I would welcome them back with open arms.
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6:33 pm
Wow, you really are a 5 year old, believing in the bogeyman, like you do.
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6:41 pm
The boogeyman, as everyone knows, is a metaphor to teach kids that Satan is waiting under their bed, in the closet, or in the s-bend of your toilet, waiting to seduce you to doing his will unless you are always on your guard.
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6:49 pm
Memaw, I don’t think you have ever read the bible. My suggestion to you is instead of laying around watching soaps all day go out and buy a bible or go to a church and go directly to Leviticus 18:22, “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.”
I think this says it all.
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7:11 pm
Scott, sweetheart,
You really should read up on your history. The bible has been horribly mistranslated from the original hebrew and greek.
But, deary, since we are on the subject of Leviticus. You’d better stay away from your local Red Lobster this Sunday after church, God seems to think that shellfish are an abomination as well:
9These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
10And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
11They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
12Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.
Oh and then there is Leviticus 11:7 which says you can’t eat pork so no barbecue for you.
You can pick and choose all you want, silly, silly little man.
But enough for me, I gotta go get dinner ready, the grandkids are coming over.
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7:35 pm
Scott? Scott? No replies? Are you there?
I guess you must love the Red Lobster and barbecue, so you are an abomination yourself.
Silly little man.
Guess who won’t be going to Heaven…
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7:47 pm
You think I eat the crap from red lobster. i dont even eat seafood. I pretty much live off of beef and potatos. so nice try.
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11:28 am
Stephenson – I have to say that you know a LOT about gays that I, as a gay, know nothing about – 50 year old twinks sucking Metamucil lollipops? That’s not only disgusting, but very creative! Why are conservative Christians so obsessed with gay people? Why don’t you obsess over Hindus, Shintoists, Buddhists, Jews, Muslims, Pagans, and all other religious people? I think they’re more of a threat to Christianity than gay people, many of whom pay no attention to religion at all and never stick their noses into that sort of business. Non-Christian religious people are the only ones ones recruiting people away from Christianity — just as Christians recruit people away from opposing beliefs. You are using Gays as a way to focus your frustrations on something, a whipping post representing whatever problems you perceive there are in this world, but it’s really pointless. Besides, in your Christian beliefs, don’t there HAVE to be people left behind? It seems in all the stories of the end times that Christians love so much and are so excited for, there are always people “left behind”. So why are Christians so intent on saving everybody? Christians believe in pre-destination, yes? So no matter what you do, people will be left behind! I think in the least, if you’re going to try to save people you should focus on people who actually have religious beliefs in the first place and identify as such! At least you have a fighting chance with them. I understand that you don’t like gays, and you’re entitled to your opinions, but I think if you could look at Christianity from a more global perspective you would see that gays are not a threat to you or your religion, and you’re wasting your time focusing on them.
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11:43 am
Stephenson…THANK YOU FOR THIS ARTICLE!!! I haven’t laughed so much in YEARS. Thanks to me and many of my friends, this article will make you famous. I have made it a point to share it with the world. And my favorite quote in your article that made my family think I was nuts because the reapeted laughter:
“It gave them an excuse to wear tight jeans and to sneak off to public parks for quick releases with hairy men of different ethnicities.”
Keep it up…people like you make me feel more intelligent and my day much brighter.
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7:09 pm
Sweetheart,
You really should read up on your history. The bible has been horribly mistranslated from the original hebrew and greek.
But, deary, since we are on the subject of Leviticus. You’d better stay away from your local Red Lobster this Sunday after church, God seems to think that shellfish are an abomination as well:
9These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
10And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
11They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
12Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.
Oh and then there is Leviticus 11:7 which says you can’t eat pork so no barbecue for you.
You can pick and choose all you want, silly, silly little man.
But enough for me, I gotta go get dinner ready, the grandkids are coming over.
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7:17 pm
Who would want to east lobster anyway? They look like mini-Satans.
Please do try not to poison your grandchildren with too many of your veil lies. Just because you are already destined to an eternity of flames does not mean you have to poison they’re young minds also. Their will be plenty of company for you down there, trust me.
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7:21 pm
Aww, honey, one last post.. I just had to say, you are SO cute when you are spewing hate!
Good for you!
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1:20 am
I don’t aperciate yer flirtashous inseminations, there. I’m a happily married straight man, and I can’t decide if yer one of them liberal feminesbians or one of the them homogays. Either way, even if I weren’t married I wouldn’t come within 90 feet of your no no zone, regardless of whether your hiding a taco or a hotdog (or both, for that matter…wouldn’t surprise me with you liberal typoes…) in yer underbritches.
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10:10 pm
Even Christwire thinks Billings is a faggot.
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1:51 pm
I am a loud and proud Heterosexual, thank you very much. I enjoy the company of women. They are beautiful. A man’s physique, no matter how muscled and hairy, does nothing for me. I don’t know why you people want to discriminate against me in this way. I don’t know why you think it’s fun to slander me with this gay charge when in fact you people are always trying to say it’s okay to be gay. So what is it? Are you saying I’m an awful person because you think I’m gay or are you celebrating the gay lifestyle? You people are truly hypocrites.
As for the gay ads, it’s a regional google adverstising thing. I’m not a tech person nor am I involved with those elements of Christwire’s affairs. Frankly, if the gays want to pay me to explore their lifestyle, then good for them. Maybe this gay money is truly doing some good by supporting insightful and meaningful christian Journalism and conservative thought.
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2:27 am
This site is such a joke. Don’t hurt the authors feelings. Hes innocent. He didn’t write the most ignorant pos article of the month. No, he was just stating his god given right opinion.
Its people like this that makes it hard for me to accept Christianity. A religion once founded on love and acceptance has changed into the hypocritical back bone of America. According to the authors logic. I should be a sirial killer from the types of films,movies and books I enjoy. Yet I am not. I guess a bigot would think all gays are prancing girly men.
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9:14 am
Stephenson, this was the cruise I was talking about in my later post. Thanks again for directing me to this cruise. I am booked on the next one in the Caribean. I have my speedo ready, I cant wait to be around all those hot guys. Thanks again Stephenson.
Jimmy
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10:38 pm
WOW! Really reaching for something here are we? Leave it to the Christians…
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1:22 am
And leave it to the non-Christians to roast in Hell for all eternity and damn all of humanity with there immoral ways. Sick commie bastard.
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1:54 am
Wait wait wait.. so you’re telling me all I have to do is do something immoral to damn you? Fuck yeah Seaking! Line them boys up, we’re going to have a man train!
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12:02 am
I know you are, but what am I?????
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9:42 am
Maggie Gallagher speaks her mind:
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9:41 am
Mr. Billings,
First of all, I find this article hilarious in that it has no sources cited. I think you have made many assumptations that are just not correct. One being that gay boys are not athletic- well I know many friends who are gay and have run marathons and are on sport teams. If you really get down to it, gay guys tend to be concerned about their body and stay in shape. Also, that we have a new boyfriend each week. I have had several long term relationships in my lifetime. Regarding the clothing, have you looked at mainstream America and how the kids dress that are straight as well? Most clothing styles come from Europe and are passed onto the States. I really would like to know your sources for these assumptions.
Furthermore, I would ask you if you ever have truly met a gay person? I don’t mean have you seen them and had surface conversation. However, what I am referring to, is have you ever heard their side of the story? Have you spoken to them about their struggle for their sexuality and the pain they went through during their life? We are all people, Mr. Billings. We all have stories that deserved to be heard and understood. I think the biggest life lesson for me is: “Do not seek to be understood, but seek to understand.” When you really seek to understand, you gain an understanding of the person for who they are and take away all of those assumptions. I have no idea what your story is or why you dislike gay people so much. I know for me, speaking as a gay person, I would rather build bridges than tear them down with others. I would rather educate people on the issues of the gay community and understand other issues in other communities so we can work together for equailty. Isn’t that what life is all about- helping others and making this a better world for your children and my future children?
Just a few thought….
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1:46 pm
Well I guess some gay people do manage to become athletic– figure skating and gymnastics and all that prove it– but they really don’t conform to the jock image I was talking about. The firm, hard high school athletes who play lacrosse and football, for example. And of some of the gays I have seen never settle down, they’re always waving their arms and jumping up and down and I imagine their addiction to sex burns some calories so that must help these people stay in shape. Still, they wouldn’t really make much of a football team if you slapped some shoulder pads on them.
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4:44 pm
Mr. Billings-
I truly don’t think you actually read my post. Have you actually talked to and met a diversity of gay people. I know so many of my friends who love to play football, baseball, soccer, etc. and were in sport teams during high school. This is such a sterotype which we all know not everyone fits sterotypes. It would be like me saying…”All Christians don’t drink” but when in fact there are many Christians who do drink. I.e. this is only an example and probably could have come up with a better one. Also, can you provide the reasearch that proves there is a coorletion between a person’s sexuality and their athletic ability?
Truthfully, I go to the gym 5 days a week and am very fit and haven’t had sex for 4 months since I broke up with my boyfriend of 1 year. So, I am not burning any calories in the bedroom. There are also so many straight people who are not jocks and do not enjoy physical activity so this agrument is garbage.
I noticed that you didn’t even reply to rest of my post with the challenge to actually get to know a gay person. You also never gave me your sources to your sterotypes in your post either. I have so many Christians friends who love me for who I am and they are the ones that truly display the love of Christ. Not to be rude, I don’t see any love of Christ is your replies or your article. If you truly are displaying the love of Christ, it should come across to anyone regardless of the medium and topic of discussion.
I find your replies very rude an uneducated. I wrote you a very educated, well written post and you reply with more garbage and assumptions about gay people. Are you even willing to understand other viewpoints on life? If not, that is a shame because I have learned so much from others in my life. As I wrote in my last post- “seek to understand, not to be understood.”
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6:27 pm
Drob, its not just sports that boys need to play to be prevented from turning gay. Here is a list of things that all parents need to look at to prevent their sons from becoming gay:
1. A boy must not sit on a toilent unless he is having a bowel movement.
2. A boy must eat everything on his plate (no sausages, no cucombers, no bananas)
3. A boy must always wear socks except when swimming.
4. A boy must not ever watch cartoons, they are filled with gay propaganda.
5. A boy must not play with dolls
6. A boy must never call his parents Mommy and Daddy
7. A boy must never cry or pout
8. A boy must never play with crayons that are the same colors of the rainbow
9. A boy must never skip or prance
10. A boy must play the sports of Football, Basketball and Baseball.
Following these steps can help prevent your child from becoming gay.
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1:52 pm
Scott-
Are you serious? What if doing those things aren’t in your child’s personality and they really dislike doing them. Why would any parent make their child do something they don’t enjoy. For example, there are children who don’t like to play sports but enjoy music. So, they play in the band- I know plenty of guys who are in the high school band and are not gay. What is up with “must always wear socks”- I think you need to follow Jesus’ example which is never wear socks and sandals. It just looks really bad and isn’t the point of sandals. I don’t know where you conclusion came on any of those but I have something to say to you- you can’t prevent or pray out the gay. Trust me I went to Exodus ministry and tried and it doesn’t work. Also, I know plenty of guys who are a “guys guy” and are gay. You would never know it from the exterior but they are and I have dated a few of them. That tells you, it is something internal and part of who you are.
Let me ask you: Do you think I woke up one day and said: “I think I am going to be gay because my life will be SOOOO much easier if I am.” Heck no- this has been a long and difficult road and I would never choose this. Why would someone choose it? Therefore, I really didn’t make the choice, it is who I am.
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2:04 pm
Here is how you became gay. One night, when you were asleep as a child, Satan crept into your bedroom and whispered in your ear something along the lines of, “Putting other guys’ dribble droppers in your mouth is fun. You should also let them put it in your sin hole, as well, because that is also fun.” And on some subconscious level, you made the choice to believe him. It was not your fault that you made that choice, for none of us are in control of our subconsciouses, but it is your fault if you continue to believe and practice the lies of Satan.
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3:59 pm
In reply to “Shameful Truth”-
Do you really believe that? Wow! The thought of Satan doing anything to me as a child is creepy and just not accurate. How would you fight against the agrument that I have known since I was 10 that I was gay and never had an attraction to women ever in my life. Even when I tried counseling and “recovering.” I think you should actually TALK and LISTEN to a gay person and hear their story. Nothing drives me more crazy than someone who judges others without hearing the entire story. Everyone has a story for the life and deserves to be heard.
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4:11 pm
Clearly Satan planted his seed of deceit in you at a very young age. Again, you should not be blamed for falling for his deception, for at such a young, vulnerable age, there are few who would not fall prey to his trap of lies. But by continuing to live in his web of deceit, you are only aiding him in his evil plans.
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2:03 pm
If your gym didn’t have a steam room, would you still go there to “work it out” five days a week? I thought not. Pervert.
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3:55 pm
I think you calling me a pervert is out of line because you don’t even know me. I have written to you in the highest respect and been very kind with my words. No human being deserves to be judged without being known first. You certainely aren’t a journalist when you do those sorts of things.
And, yes I would still go to the gym. I actually have only used the steam room once in my entire life. I really did not like it and don’t even go to the locker room when I am at the gym. I live one block from the gym and walk home to have a shower- by myself I might add. So, can site me any sources or are you going to continually avoid that question? A journalist reveals their sources.
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7:45 pm
That’s it, Billings, name a place and a time. You’re long overdue for a lesson with my fist.
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1:14 am
Hi Claire, I’m Ambiguous! Want to go out for drinks with me and Amber at the Bleeding Beaver? No, don’t be silly! Of course I’m straight! I just support gay rights, but that doesn’t make me a fag, honest!
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12:03 pm
this is absolutely ridiculas. How do people come up with this? OMG! That show was funny and pleased a lot of Americans. Get a grip…the gays aren’t out to take over the world. They just want to be treat equal under our constituion and at this point they aren’t.
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12:18 pm
The gays aren’t equal. They are a smear on humanity.
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11:40 pm
If you actually believe the things you write in this article, you are even more idiotic than the completely untrue stereotype of gay people you try to convey.
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9:41 am
People, this is a joke!! It has to be- it’s just too over-the-top. Also, look at the ads toward the top- about meth use, gay relationships… please! It’s probably done by the Onion or something. It’s actually pretty funny!
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10:50 am
This site is too much. Like I said in another comment I stubled on it and just can’t get over the hatred. Supposed Christians being so un-Christian! I am gay and DO NOT act like a Golden Girl! And yes I know retired “grannies” that have a good time like they did!
I love All in the Family and many people did too. That show was a classic but the character of Archie had VERY strong views…did this make everyone into a bigot? No it did not. I don’t beleive what the character Archie beleived in.
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1:53 pm
I don’t know what you are, but you are a pervert.
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11:08 am
Do Christians have a choice in being stupid? Are they born that way?
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1:03 pm
Unlike sexuality, which is innate, religion is a choice. People choose to be Christians: one isn’t born that way. So, to answer your question, their stupidity is a learned behavior.
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1:55 pm
Your slander and hate is exactly why America is going down in flames at the hands of Commissariat Obama.
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4:19 pm
This article is worthless, totally lying, deliberately misinforming people because his education level screams “Look at me, I gain my knowledge and education from a supposed 2000 year old book full of hatred and tons of contradictions. Even the replies from the poster of this article to atheists and gays that replied here; further proves he’s highly hateful and uneducated not to mention a waste of skin and bodily functions that keeps him a live and intolerable all the while spewing fact less and relentless tide of BS.
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4:28 pm
I’m like “totally lying”? Is that right Valley Girl? I don’t advise anyone taking insights from an avowed idiot.
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4:31 pm
There’s a reason why Christianity is a dying religion amongst the youth of America – science and humor trumps the absurdity of Biblical fairytales and the hateful trolls (i.e. you) that propagate them. Shouldn’t there be some altar boy you should be sexually assaulting?
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4:24 pm
This is the hardest I have laughed in a long time. You are one entertaining idiot, I will give you that. I would actually be incensed by this ‘article’ if I was not so busy passing it on for everyone I know to read and laugh at.
Keep up the good work!
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8:58 pm
I was driving me crazy as to whether or not this Stephenson Billings was a piece of satire or the real deal. I came up with a brilliant plan to find out. Posing as a female, I had a teckie friend who traced Stephenson’s IP address and I began to chat him up on yahoo messenger. I made sure to stay close to the truth and told him I was a 40 year old white woman with subtle pouting breast. He fell for the bait and next thing you know he had invited me (Darla) to his home on the Beach in Asbury Park New Jersey. I showed up dressed as Darla and we really hit it off. His two house boys (Hector and Mandingo) served us Martinis and well, we both got a little tipsy. Things were going quite well and we were sitting down to watch a Just Garland Film. Hector and Mandingo were no longer present as they had gone off to Stephensons Boxing Ring. We looked through photo albums of some of the many young people Stephenson had “motivated” in his career and I was quite taken with him. Of course, I held myself together as I remembered my mission. I knew I would inevitably have to see Stephenson naked if we were to take this all the way, so I was prepared for the worst. Well, he disrobed, and for an old troll he was well, let me just say I have a new love for old trolls! Anyhoo, Stephenson had a straight up boner ready to go for me. And after all, I am a gay man, and when I see a straight up boner I go for it. So I approached it like a microphone at a Phillipino Karaoke bar at closing time and he shouted ” I don’t like ORAL – only acts that are for the purpose of procreation – I will not spill my seed upon the ground”. I looked at him and said Stephenson, no worries, I swallow! Well that didn’t help. He said I will only penetrate you in your pikachu. (I guess he watches Chelsea Handler) . So it was right then and there that I took off my skirt and silk panties to reveal my enormous penis to him …. OH, I’m the doorbell just rang, I’ll have to finish the story later. But be sure to check out the show The Golden Gays http://www.thegoldengays.com coming to Los Angeles, Palm Springs, and Miami.
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3:18 pm
I live in Tennessee you immoral and ungrateful tramp.
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8:56 am
This site is obviously satire, they are claiming a coming war between the homosexuals and the christhcuckers; makes my clit hard, thinking of the 2 groups I hate the most killing each other.
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2:53 pm
This is some of the funniest shit I have EVER read!
Kudos to the author and this Web site.
This is as good or better than The Onion.
Keep up the great work!
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4:38 pm
I began by laughing out loud as soon as I began reading this article.
I honestly thought it was satire. Only a few paragraphs in did I realize that the author was being serious.
How sad that someone can be so ignorant of other people.
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5:34 pm
That is the biggest load of horsepuckey I’ve read in a long time. The author is either woefully ignorant, or else a religious zealot who walks through life with blinders firmly in place to protect against accidental contact with common sense.
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7:20 pm
Ah a Borat by any other name, still slays me just the same. I’m not buyin it though. You really expect us to believe you’re seriously blaming the Golden Girls for circle jerks? Bwahahahahaha… ahd damn, you are funny. I gotta give you that. And just in case you’re serious… ah, ahem, psst then you’re obviously a closet case looking to blame someone, something, some anything for what ws apparently the most exciting experimentation of your life. Get over it. You freakin loved it, we all know it, and you’re going to hell for it if you don’t change churches FAST. Cause you had a woody the whole time you were typing that thing one handed. lol I love it when folks out themselves accidentally. Guess your subconscious figured it was time you came out. Cool!
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7:52 pm
Stephenson Billings… you are small minded man.
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8:21 pm
The most amazing thing about this article is the fact you actually believe this fucktardery.Where do you idiots come up with this crap?
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8:51 pm
Dear Mr Billings,
I pray that you one day find God’s peace and understanding.
Peace be with you.
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11:59 pm
Great stuff you’re smokin’ there, Mr. Billings.
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12:33 am
Hilarious, absolutely hilarious. I hope someone is actually offended!
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1:50 am
This article is either hilarious satire or the most idiotic thing ever written, depending on how firmly in cheek the author had his tongue. Either way, props for keeping me guessing.
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1:56 am
You are outrageous and heinous. This entire website is absolutely ridiculous and this article is just laughable. You are so filled with hate apparently you will do anything to get attention, including this filthy assumption. May God have mercy on your soul, and I really hope you don’t end up in hell…but you are not living in love. Just shut up. SHUT UP. Nobody’s listening to you anyways.
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2:09 am
Your lack of decorum and respect is sadly predictable when it comes to my dealings with homosexuals. You really have no interest in sharing free speech with anyone who disagrees with you. It’s pretty offensive, when you get right down to it. You liberals always claim you’re fighting for rights but when Christians turn around and say there are responsibilities to your wild antics and dangerous behavoirs, you tell us to “shut up”! Very mature of you. The sad thing that gets lost in this whole debate is the real harsh risks our children are taking when they experiment sexually. Once they start playing around with homosexuality, they put the future of their families and their friends in jeopardy.
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12:09 pm
“Your lack of decorum and respect is sadly predictable when it comes to my dealings with homosexuals.”
Oh, I see, so you write article after article disrespecting homosexuals, and then you want respect in return? I don’t think so, fatty.
“You liberals always claim you’re fighting for rights but when Christians turn around and say there are responsibilities to your wild antics and dangerous behavoirs, you tell us to “shut up”!”
When you use your free speech to say horrible things about people who have never done anything to do, we aim to stop it. For example, if I were writing an article about your mother, and I wrote “Mrs. Billings is a penis-hungry whore. Whether it’s with her skirt hiked up against a bathroom wall, or on her back in the back seat of a car, she can’t get enough of the jackhammer action.”, you would have every right to stop me from exercising that part of my free-speech.
“Once they start playing around with homosexuality, they put the future of their families and their friends in jeopardy.”
So you’d rather they play around with heterosexuality, get pregnant, and then have one of those abortions that you Christians despise so much? Yeah, I see your logic.
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12:44 am
Claire, I have to be insistent! I am trying to help these people, they don’t realize how nasty that homosexual lifestyle truly is. Where would people like these be without my help? What kind of human being would I be if I turned a blind eye to their suffering and sodomy?
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6:11 pm
“Claire, I have to be insistent!”
No, you have to shut your fat pie-hole.
“I am trying to help these people, they don’t realize how nasty that homosexual lifestyle truly is.”
People don’t need to be saved from something that isn’t harmful. The homosexual lifestyle is not “nasty”, as you so kindly put it. I know many gay people, and there is nothing “nasty” about how they live their lives.
“Where would people like these be without my help?”
In a much better world, living their lives however they damn well please! Your hate is not “helping” anybody. The very fact that you referred to what you do as “help” is incredibly insulting and patronizing.
“What kind of human being would I be if I turned a blind eye to their suffering and sodomy?”
A much better one. The only reason gay people are “suffering” is because of people like you. Gay people wouldn’t be suffering at all if Christian assholes such as yourself would refrain from saying such hurtful, vile things about them. And not only do you say disgusting things about them, but then you turn around and claim that you’re trying to “help” them by saying such things, which is yet another smack in the face because not only are you still trying to tell them that their lifestyle is wrong, but you’re treating them as though they don’t know the difference between harm and help.
p.s. You’re so fat, the hospital had to send you to the zoo to get an MRI.
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5:55 am
If what you state is true, then articles such as yours, are making Americans, both male and females, into morons. For only a moron or someone equally addle brained would believe such a thing to be true. I am just using your logic, such as it is. Really, God gave you a brain and you do this with it? Seriously, you are a sad sad person. I feel sorry for you and anyone who buys into your mental illness. Best of luck. I hope you get some help. You really need it.
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6:11 am
You realize this website advertises for Atlantis Events’ ‘All-Gay Exotic Caribbean Cruise’, right? http://i33.tinypic.com/30acoex.png I think you kindly for the great laugh I had over that.
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11:01 am
A friend of mine sent me a link to this article. What in the world is wrong with this author? I watched this show with my parents when I was growing up. It’s great writing–something severely lacking in television. I’m straight too. Is this website some kind of parody?
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11:22 am
Mr Billings.
Thank you for writing this article. Although I fit absolutely no profiling of your gay stereotype, I am gay. I am also a spiritual person, I beleive in God. I do not think its the same God you beleive in. My God does not want me to fear him, but to welcome him. My God does not want me to pass judgement on others, but simply accept them for what they bring to enrich my life.
I am certain you will throw some Dorothy Sbornack witted comment back at me, but it is apparent, and I seen in many of the comments posted here, that you have a bit over researched your article. Your knowledge of ‘hairy men’ and the Sears bathroom seem more for experiance than hearsay. I know so few gay men that shop at Sears. Unless I need a new Craftsman tool or an appliance. Your research would have failed here, or should I say proven you inacuarate. Gay men are not pedofiles, they exist, yes. It was not a gay man that kidnapped Jaycee Dugard. Ted Bundy was not a homosexual. The Green River Killer was not a homosexual. I could go on, but why. Sexual abuse of any kind falls on both sides of the fence. It is not a gay issue, it is not a straight issue. It IS an issue for everyone.
Mr Billings you must live with yourself. We all have our beleifs and as humans AND individuals we are each entitled to them. You are entitled to your beleifs and your opinions, however please be honest with yourself first, and when you write such an article as this please be honest and accuate in your statements.
Thank you.
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5:17 pm
Gay people shop at Sears! I know this for a fact as I have been there many times to witness them galavanting around the shoe and underwear sections.
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6:13 pm
Hey Stephenson,
Wanted to say thank you for the ads on the site featuring the Atlantis Gay Cruise. I’ve always wanted to take a gay cruise, but I couldn’t find one that is exclusively gay. Now I have all because of you. Thank you very much. Will you be on the next Gay Cruise, hear there will be a lot of hot studs aboard.
Jimmy
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7:33 pm
Mr Billings,
Thanks again for the snappy Dorthy Sbornack comeback, predicted and expected. Just as you said we as gay men will throwback. Welcome to our ranks. However, no toaster over for you.
As for Gay men and the Sears in shoe/underwear department. You best research your claim again, go to your favorites at the top of the page, when your find your favorite porn site count how many of the ‘hairy men’ you adore to write about so much that are wearing Stafford underwear.
Again, please, I am almost begging you, check your facts. Bath house or Sears bathroom, your conclusions are inacurate.
By the way, I shared your message of Love with God yesterday We had a lovely chit chat over tea here on sofa. He LOVED your humor, however he wasnt to crazy about your big red nose and blue wig get up at the childrens party and how you were trying to ‘save’ the boys. My suggestion is to give that up.
All the best.
Frank
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3:08 pm
ATTENTION AMERICA!!
If you are reading this for its hilariously simian content, good. But you also need to keep in mind: IT IS BACKWARDS-THINKING RETARDS LIKE THIS THAT CONTROL AMERICA. These are the people that care enough about their ridiculous, KKK-level contradictory ideals to go out and VOTE and MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Imagine a world where the majority of Americans think the way this guy does. Scary, isn’t it? Then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Make sure you participate in elections and talk to your friends about issues that arise in our nation. Don’t let softheaded freaks like this make decisions.
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3:17 pm
If I were you I’d be more concerned about a future where children are tought that it’s ok and normal to be a homogay. But hey, its your afterlife.
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4:04 pm
This is satire right?
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4:37 pm
This is an awesome article! I really love parody.
At first, I thought it was serious, but realizing that it’s simply parody of closemindedness and intolerance, I appreciate it for the genius that it is.
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12:51 am
Where do you flaming liberals get off posting this filthy internet threats all over a place of goodness and Christian morality? This is a site for families dealing with troubled children, not some gay speedo cruise. So stop the slander and discrimination. It’s hyprocritical of all you people who claim to love “individual rights” and “freedom of speech.”
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5:58 pm
“This is a site for families dealing with troubled children, not some gay speedo cruise.”
Oh really? Then what’s with all the ads for gay cruises that pop up on this site?
“So stop the slander and discrimination.”
Oh look, the pot’s calling the kettle black.
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6:06 pm
Claire, you really are just furthering my conviction that the menstrual cycle is nothing but a feminesbian conspiracy to give women an excuse not to do anything and wine alot for one week each month.
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6:14 pm
Nice try, asspelunker, but I don’t get my period. I have a condition that requires my period to be hormonally suppressed.
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6:29 pm
Thereby proving my theory that the menstrual cycle is just a myth. Thank you.
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6:52 pm
No, God doesn’t make people gay, a classic TV show from the 80s makes you gay.
So what about all the gays that lived in the previous thousands of years and the last 15-20 that the show has been off the air?
Also the show had seven seasons, can’t even count.
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1:00 am
Wow, you are an imbecile. Do you sit on the wall of your local village making goofy faces at children and begging coins from old ladies? Listen here idiot, I said nothing of homos in history. I don’t know what kind of meth-brain-dead logic you’re using that makes you believe I could be so blind to the past. Of course, there were gays before. I don’t deny that for a second. Look at the Romans and Greeks for crying out loud! I have quoted the Bible above which clearly talks about the nastiness of you sodomites. But the huge preponderence of gays today on tv AND on the streets is due to popular culture making this homosexual lifestyle look “cool” to teens. Everyone wants to try it. Especially the lonely kids who can’t excel at sports. Why do you pervs obsess about twink teens? It’s offensive and often illegal from where I sit.
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11:41 pm
“If you walk down the street today and bump into a middle-aged homosexual, chances are that the nasty comeback he will shout at you is something he picked up from Dorothy Zbornak of the Golden Girls.”
Are you seriously saying that you just randomly harass people that you have no data about aside from their appearance on the street? And that they respond to your harassment in any fasion aside from fleeing or preparing to engage in a fight?
You’re stupid, and you live around EXTREMELY stupid people. Anyone who would SAY something in response to that kind of sexual harassment is a nitwit; and this is why people get dragged to death.
If you sexually harassed me on the street I’d pull a weapon and call the cops. And anyone who wouldn’t is an imbecile. Simple as that.
You’re about as “holy” as a two bit gang member. You sir, define the reason that I believe wholeheartedly that there is no God and never could be.
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12:46 am
I am sick of you agitated liberals posting your nonsense and hateful speech on a CHRISTIAN WEBSITE! This is a place of faith and common sense and you people with all that sodomy and flamboyances are disgusting and so wrong. Stop with your destruction of my free speech, it is hurtful and immoral, if you even care. You are disgusting and disoriented.
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8:39 pm
yeah everyone, stop exercising your own rights to free speech!
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11:54 pm
When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? – Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.
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12:32 am
Oh Josh! How profound and impressive, you know how to cut and paste! Fantastic that you’ve discovered this insipid chain mail nonsense from 1997. I bet your buddies at the gay disco were excited!
This is a bunch of garbage devised by people who don’t have any business reading a Bible. Consult your local pastor or come to people like the folks at Christwire who know better. You’re clearly way out of your league trying to comprehend morality and faith. Who in the world do you think you are posting your liberal radical homosexual talking points here? You make me truly sick.
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3:25 am
why are you people all so excited about this topic? its scary how you gays get so angry about everthing.
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8:41 am
I thought this article was a parody, like something you find on the Onion or Drudge Report and it was hilarious. My friend sent it to me and I pulled it up on my phone to read. Then I actually read the article and find out that this guy’s legit…which makes it even more funny.
I’m wondering if Mr. Billings was ever hugged as a child…him along with the rest of the right wing nutjobs.
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12:59 pm
I believe this is a fake/parody wesbite. I am not sure of the creator’s motives but I feel it is someone who wants to mock Christians and God. As a lifelong Christian I have never heard anyone, no matter how flimsy their connection to reality say the stupids things shown in this and other articles. (Read the one about cat owners to see what I mean.)
I see all the upset people above and want to tell you that you evidently have been “punked”.
Homosexuality is a sin, neither better nor worse than adultery, sex outside of marriage, or any of the other practices God refers to as “sin”.
Here is Paul condemning the sexual sins and other practices of unbelievers:
Rom 1:24 Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.
Rom 1:25 They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator-who is forever praised. Amen.
Rom 1:26 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones.
Rom 1:27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.
Rom 1:28 Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done.
Rom 1:29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips,
Rom 1:30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents;
Rom 1:31 they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless.
Rom 1:32 Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.
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2:41 pm
The writer is either a satirist or a complete moron, and I don’t care enough to find out which. Also, “irregardless” is not a word.
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6:04 pm
I love how the majority of this man’s own replies to his critics have been hidden due to their low ratings. The world is chang