There is a hero amongst us who tried to expose one of the liberal elite’s greatest media icons, only to see his own life ruined in the process. That hero is Investigative Journalist Robert Halderman. The criminal in question is David Letterman, the aging comedian who commands the late night talk fest, “The Late Show.” Halderman, a reporter and producer for such shows as “To Catch a Predator” and “48 Hours” is quite experienced in dealing with pedophiles and perverts, and the 62-year old Letterman was no different. What Halderman had was explicit and offensive details of the elderly chatter’s grotesque and illegal sexual encounters with his low-wage employees. But with a terrible twist of fate, Letterman confessed to sexually assaulting his interns and other subordinates. Meanwhile, his high-priced lawyers had our hero arrested. Under the threat of a grand jury investigation and unable to effectively bribe Halderman with $2 million, Letterman gave America a few scant details in a glib and pretentious monologue on his show this week but he offered no excuses for his immoral conduct.
My fellow leaders in morality and faith, today is our moment to get the word out and put the pressure on CBS and the district attorney to fire and prosecute David Letterman to the fullest extent of the law. Here are my Top Ten Reasons Why David Letterman Should Be Fired:
10) Past His Prime: Jay Leno spent a very successful 17 years on top of the ratings as David Letterman’s rival. Leno did the graceful thing and retired when age caught up with him. Letterman should do the same. It’s sad to watch this old man try to hold on to some former glory as his ratings tank and kids turn to the internet.
9) Disregard For the Solemnity of 9/11: After the Terrorist Attacks of 2001, Letterman had no respect for our country’s need to mourn, he just wanted to see himself on television again. He didn’t even wait a full week to return to the air with crude and inappropriate attempts at 9/11 humor. This was one of the true low points of American television history.
8) The Worst of Guests: Second rate musical acts, vaudeville comedians and reality show personalities– The Late Show has the most mundane and desperate of guests. They can never quite get an actual Hollywood A-Lister booked, let alone any of our nation’s great moral leaders. In fact, Letterman seems to have an allergy to talking about faith or Christianity on his show.
7) Not Funny Anymore: Have you seen any recent episodes of The Late Show? Letterman can barely look at the camera these days. He spends his show face down into his little blue note cards. Most nights it feels as if he’s phoning it in. I honestly believe he sees how pathetic and awful he’s become and is just in it for the money.
6) Incredible Hypocrisy: This man has made hundreds of millions of dollars attacking our nation’s leaders for any indiscretion, yet he is unable to sincerely apologize for his own horrible misdeeds. His monologue Thursday night was phony, ineffective and offensive.
5) Attack on Hero Halderman: To have arrested the person attempting to expose your sex crimes is disgusting. Letterman has no shame. He could have admitted his activities and surrendered to the police. Instead, he hired a bunch of high-priced lawyers who fooled the local authorities into arresting Investigative Journalist Robert Halderman. I pray that Halderman is preparing a countersuit.
4) Abuse of Power: The gruesome-looking and elderly Letterman has clearly violated the most sacred of workplace laws governing intercourse between superiors and subordinates. What he did to his intern Stephanie Birkitt is a clear abuse of power. She is generations younger than he and it’s a disgusting thing to imagine that old man caressing her soft young body in illicit encounters in office closets.
3) Sexually-illegal Assaults on Governor Sarah Palin’s Underage Children: Letterman caused an incredible controversy when he made several lewd and lascivious comments about the Palin family on air. He should have been prosecuted as a sex offender for these vile acts. In the words of Gov. Palin: “Laughter incited by sexually perverted comments made by a 62-year-old male celebrity aimed at a 14-year-old girl is not only disgusting, but it contributes to the atrociously high rate of sexual exploitation of minors by older men who use and abuse others.”
2) Destruction of the Covenant of Marriage: One fact that the media has conveniently forgotten: Letterman is married! He has a six-year old son (birthed out of wedlock) to Regina Lasko who has been his common law wife for the last 26 years. It’s shameful Letterman took so long to marry, but his commitment to this woman is obvious and he clearly broke any sanctity of marriage by cheating on her so often with so many.
1) Sexual Harassment is Illegal: No one is above the law, Mr. Letterman. We good Americans call on you to surrender yourself to the authorities. Now!