Christianity Betrayed by Satanic Benedectine Monk

• ChristWire
November 16, 2009 7:51 am33 comments

Christianity has taken a terrible blow recently, as one of our own has turned over to the Dark Side. Father Luke Bell of an abbey on some island has stabbed good, faithful Christians all over the world in the back by writing this veil book suggesting (please have all women and children leave the room before reading on, lest their sensitive minds be fracturized by this horrible lie) that the evil Harry Potter series, written by Mr. John Kevin Rowling, MIGHT CONTAIN CHRISTIAN PRINCIPLES!!!! LIES!!! DECEIT!!! BETRAYALL!!!

As we all know, John Kevin Rowling is an evil, evil man bent on corrupting today\’s youth with the likes of Harry Potter, Twilight, and the Vampire Diaries, just to name a few. He is a sick, disgusting man who should be fed to a pack of ravenous Red Kangaroos, and then brought back to life so that he can be killed again.

Harry Potter, alone, promotes themes of witchcraft, devil worship, prostitution, drug use, premarital sex, premarital kissing, masturbation, murder, shameless killing, sodomy, oral sex, homosexuality, feminesbianism, and cruelty to aminals, and to suggest taht such filth could carry Christian values is an insult to Christianity, God and Jesus, both of whom I am certain would spit on that awful book if they were to physically manifest into your local Borders or Barnes and Noble.

Fellow Christians, DO NOT FALL FOR THIS FALLEN MONK\’S LIES!!! He has clearly been seduced by Satan, and quite possibly by this John Kevin Rowling, who I do not doubt is probably a homogay himself.http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/harry-potter/6468179/Benedictine-monk-publishes-Christian-reading-of-Harry-Potter.html

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33 Comments

  • “John Kevin Rowling”

    WTF?

    “Harry Potter, alone, promotes themes of witchcraft, devil worship, prostitution, drug use, premarital sex, premarital kissing, masturbation, murder, shameless killing, sodomy, oral sex, homosexuality, feminesbianism, and cruelty to aminals”

    Where? When? Which book? Quote the passages, so I can check on my editions. Harry Potter is just the ultimate story about good against evil with the good side prevailing on evil guys! There is no devil worship, no prostitution, no use of drug except for the fictional equal of aspirin, no premarital sex, and if it’s hinted (which is not) it’s not described. If you consider premarital kissing a sin I wonder how you could even watch the homepage of Christwire since it is full of “sinful” banners. No mastrubation, nor graphic nor hinted, lots of murders ok but that’s war guys! No sodomy no oral sex no homosexuality no lesbians and no cruelty on animals of any kind. You need a new pair of glasses if you could find anything of the list above in any of Harry Potter books.

    That Friar simply saw what the book wants to teach: choose the good side. Choose friendship, choose schooling, choose life!

    And for the rest…WTF?

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    • I don’t polute my mind and soul with such filth, but I have attended more than enough sermons on the subject and been unwittingly forced to witness the previews on my television or when I go see good movies that I have gotten more than enough of an idea of what those vile, evil, veil books are about.

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      • Sermons written by people who never read the books or that were blind enough to not see that the story has a moral, and a rather christian moral of friendship, of choosing the good side, of using the brain instead of violence.

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        • I’m curious as to how you find a book that promotes witchcraft, premarital teenage sex, drug use, homogayality and other evils portrays Christian values. Last I checked, there weren’t anything in the Old or New Testament about it being okay to commune with Lucifer while having premarital orgies while shooting up on crack as you suck off your teacher’s sniggle snaggle and be just an intirely immoral person.

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          • Because it is fiction, well written fiction too. In all the Harry Potter books there are actually wichcraft and sorcery, but it’s all a huge metaphore. The most important things in HP are the values of frienship, of peace, of staying strong to defeat evil guys who choose power and money over love and friendship. I have read all the books, seen all the movies many times and there are no hints or actions promoting “witchcraft, premarital teenage sex, drug use, homogayality and other evils”. It’s a fantasy book. In fantasy books there is always sorcery and wichcraft, but even the youngest kid on earth now knows that it’s fiction, it’s not real and it will never be. And all the other things you reported, well, there is no sign of any of them. The most “obscene” thing is Hermione kissing Ron. Which is not sex. There is no sex in any of the books. No “homogay agenda” as you call it. If Rowling hadn’t said it before, no one would have never thought that Dumbledore was a homosexual, because his behaviour is always above everything like that. Also there is no drug use. The closest thing to drugs in the books is aspirin.

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          • “The most “obscene” thing is Hermione kissing Ron. Which is not sex. There is no sex in any of the books.”

            More than 90% of all pregancies are started off by kissing.

            “No “homogay agenda” as you call it. If Rowling hadn’t said it before, no one would have never thought that Dumbledore was a homosexual, because his behaviour is always above everything like that.”

            Creepy old man with a weird name like Bumbledore making himself invisible and following 11 year old boys around dark castles. Yeah, nothing homosexual about that.

            “Also there is no drug use. The closest thing to drugs in the books is aspirin.”

            That is a blatant lie. I heard all about that felicis felix “happy” drug the boy used in that one book, and I heard that in one of the books students were taking “brain stimulants” to help them get through they’re exams. And that’s not even mentioning all of the alcohol that filthy Hagard creature is always consuming.

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          • “More than 90% of all pregancies are started off by kissing”

            did you know that 100% of all mass murders of inocent people donw by a religious christian terorist done in the name of the lord jesus was done because the guy who did it was christian?

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          • Please tell me you’re not actually trying to deny that more than 90% of pregnancies begin with kissing? I mean, I know you’re a virgin and all, but I would hope that you understand at least a little bit of what goes on in the bridal chamber before marital relations are commenced.

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      • i must admit i never read the bible but i’ve been to enough sermons about it to know it’s about a guy who flees from an insane asylum claiming to be the son of god who then goes on a rampage killing everyone who doesn’t belive his every word. ánd thats what you guys belive in? shame on you

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    • Shamefultruthisretarded

      ummm so J.K Rowling is a woman. nowhere is there any promotion of sex or satanic rituals. it is a story of good triumphing over evil. and of course pregnancies are statred by kissing, if you are having sex, you probably have intimate feelings with someone, therefore you probably have kissed before having sex.

      so i reccomend to you sir, instead of listening to radical seminars, open one of these “satanic” books, and quote where these things are promoted

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  • Oh come on … get real!

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  • I believe that by “John Kevin Rowling” you are referring to “Joanne Kathleen Rowling,” who did write the Harry Potter books, but did not write the Twilight and Vampire Diary books. “Do try to keep up,” to use your own catch phrase.

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  • You people need to realize The Onion is not a reliable news source. I believe this was all debunked a good 5 years ago. I would know, I helped do it personally.

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  • Again, another asshole article by our dear friend, Shameful_Truth!
    Bravo! Bravo! New inner depths of stupidity! Bravo!

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  • You are a puking scurvy-valiant clotpole.

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  • weird that he Only uses Insult to “prove his point of view” which doesnt even Validate his “point of view” hopefully 99% of the world population doenst believe in you so maybe we will have a HUGE party in hell folks

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    • At least I’m not stupid enough to believe that North and South America are an island.

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      • then what on earth are they? The american continent is not connetcted to Europe by anything except for some periodical ices that connect Alaska (and Canada) to Russia, one of the many ways of colonization of North America. Did you know that during 1600 many Russians emigrated to North America?

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        • they are actually continents
          however shameful you are the last person who should be alowed to use that as any kind of defence since you are the guy who: think j.k rowling is a man, think asians are aliens and think that amercia is based on christianity.

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          • I know I know they are continents but the whole American continent is a huge island, that’s what I meant. Just like all the others, Europe and Asia are a huge island too after all. So is Africa. Looking at a world map, I see huges islands called Continents, or at least that’s what I was taught at school. Maybe it’s just a simple definition, but all continents are islands after all.

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          • actually no
            part of the definition of an island is that it can’t be a continent.
            but don’t fell too bad i fell for the same trap at first too

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          • eheh, I admit I hated geography, and my teacher in elementary school didn’t teach it that well, that’s probably why I still have this definition in mind XD

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  • just thought you guys would like to see what site i found from an add here

    http://religion.incrisis.info/

    i find it hillarious that you advertise for this

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  • shamefultruthiswrong

    hey shameful truth,you are an idoit. your morals and mind are both so fucked up that you think harry potter promotes gay shit and what not. well, my hypothesis is that you are gay and blow dudes, and your so worried about other gay shit becuase you yourself in fact, are most likely gay. so your fucked, and stop polluting the internet with your stupid-hick southern ideas, i can just tell your from the south becuase you write like a retard with a three inch nail stuck in your fukin skull,and a rusty carpenters knife up your a hole, yours truely,
    - a normal person.

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