Half Billion In Sales Won’t Save The Fails: Inspiring New Video Game Has Better Action, Less Glitches Than Modern Warfare 2
Osama Bid Laden’s wannabe terrorists had to travel by plane, bus and mule all the way to the craggy foothills of Afghanistan to learn how to kill Americans. The designers at the Activision Corporation have solved the logistical nightmare of all those flight connections with their newly released video game Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Now your children can learn how to murder families and democracy from the comfort of your own basement! And they’ll be able to take out their frustrations on the airline industry with an intense opening scene where your child participates in a Soviet Terror Squad that takes over an American airport for the sole purpose of machine-gunning innocent women and children. The game has made well over $500 Million in its first week alone. Yes, it’s a good time to be a video game executive preying on the curious minds of the youngest and most fragile Americans.
“I felt sick to my stomach and I was frightened. People are screaming, there’s blood splattering all over the screen. It is absolutely awful. I sat there with my son, who’s 15, and he was covering his eyes and crying” — Jennifer Hughes, Mother, describing playing Modern Warfare 2.
Modern Warfare 2 joins a long list of video games that continue to be released despite warnings from every segment of society, from religious leaders to politicians, from parents of children who committed suicide to medical experts and psychiatrists who warn of obesity, high school violence and homosexuality, epilepsy, college failure, brain damage and even hyperactivity risks in gamers.
“Let’s face it – it’s children playing this game. In the Holy Scriptures, when Cain kills Abel, God asks him one question: Are you your brother’s keeper? The rest of the bible is an answer to that – and it’s a big yes. When I play this game I don’t get that answer – I get outrageously upset.” — CEO of the London Jewish Forum Alex Goldberg
A backlash has already started against the game for its poor design and incomprehensible content. Some criticize it for its gratuitous violence that serves no purpose. Others point out the numerous technical glitches, including sections where the designers forgot to give the opponents weapons! There’s even a forgotten, loose end in the plot where you seek a nuclear bomb, but once you find it, it blows up and destroys humanity! From purely an aesthetic perspective, the game has a poorly rendered color scheme. All those browns and grays blend together so it’s hard to tell what’s going on. Frankly, the colors aren’t bright enough. The shaky movement of the action is sure to give you a headache. From one frame to the next, the screen jumps and jags around. The design feels rushed, as if its creators spent no time making it seamless and level. This addictive toy is sure to give your son carpal tunnel due to the massive amount of jerking motions he is required to make with his hands, yanking and thrusting and slapping his little hands around in some obscene frenzy.
Content-wise, Modern Warfare 2 doesn’t fare much better. How is this story line of violence any different than every video game that has come before starting with Ms. Pac Man? At least Ms. Pac Man had an engaging and plausible plot behind it. This silly game glorifies terrorism. It is inhumane and insensitive, a highly-dangerous influence on children and will surely be blamed for murder in the near future. It is truly a sin to glorify and give money to a corporation that profits from the lowest of human desires. Not only that, but this game gives children the false notion that they are intensely muscled heroes in gorgeous fatigues, sweating like a man as they romp through dark streets with only the warm breath of their fellow soldiers to give them solace on a lonely night. While in reality, these young gamers are growing fat on a couch and being tempted to lust after members of the same sex.
“Joseph Goebbels – the propaganda minister of Nazi Germany – said his entertainment did more for the German people, in terms of creating the psyche for war and hostility towards others, than the speeches of Adolph Hitler. The idea this is entertainment is not justification whatsoever.”– Religious leaders on a recent BBC program.
Fortunately and just in time for Christmas, there is a sophisticated and exciting alternative to the bloodthirsty video games out there. It’s Mass We Pray, from Boston-based Prayer Works Interactive. Oh, it’s so delightfully fun and exciting! You can play like you’re in church from the privacy and security of your own home. There are neat features that allow you to conduct the choir boys, pass the collection plate, get a better pew by scoring points, among so many other innovative and brilliant plot twists. There’s even a cross joystick that is so easy to hold and maneuver! Hold it above your head in glorious praise and joy! Get your family gathered in front of the tv for some flat screen fantastic faith! Or invite your neighbor’s boys over for some after school lessons, rolling around on the rug in the immense pleasures of worship!
The graphics of Mass We Pray are easy for the eyes to follow, and so human-like. It’s a testament to what inspired and faithful Christians can create when they set their minds to video game designing. You’ll feel like you’re there in your favorite pew without the stale body odor of your older parishioners or the buzzing of the narcissist’s cellphone. It’s a supreme pleasure to be surrounded by so many clean looking and happy white Christians. The brightly lit and soaring church is so nice when you think of when you compare it to some of the dingy, 60s styles places that came out of the liberalism of Vatican 2. The best part is that you can play this gay any time during the night or day. It’s so thrilling, you’ll be glued to your tv with your friends and the young ones all gathered around, laughing, hugging and praying together! This is truly a giant leap forward for the video gaming industry and I hope and pray (on my home Mass We Pray Kneeler Accessory) that companies like Activision take notice!