Great news today, as Fidel Castro is reportedly dead! Glory!
The only problem is that nothing is official yet and the dirty little communist dictator may still be alive.
For those who may not be so historically savvy, Fidel Castro is a Judas. America brought freedom to Cuba during the 1950s and decided what government would work best for their people. We elected Fidel Castro as the leader of their government that would do everything that we told them to do, just like it should be.
The problem is that Fidel Castro is a Satan worshiper. He allied himself with the damned Russian Soviets and tried to sneak secret nukes into Cuba when our country was weak with democrat president John Fitzgerald Kennedy, who like a typical democrat cheated on his wife with hookers.
Long story short, Fidel Castro has been a thorn in the side of America for years. Since he has demon spirits and is fast friends with Satan, he is hard to kill as well. Our CIA has tried to kill him many times, and he’s just not quite dead yet. Hopefully today we will hear about how he died, but do not count it as fact yet, because just like most SA’s Fidel Castro is as resilient as a cockroach.