• Jack the Ripper – What`s the Big Deal, Anyway?

    November 16, 2009 7:49 am 146 comments

    Today, my Christian friends, I am going to digest a bit from current events, and discuss a subject matter that has been quite a heavy debate for over a hundred years, now.

    In the summer and fall of 1886, the quaint little island town of London was gripped with terror as the killer known only as “Jack the Ripper“ tore his way through the Whitechapel area, murdering postitutes wherever he went and then eviscerating their corpse once he was done with them.

    What makes the Ripper case still a sexy topic of debate even to day is the fact that no one, except of course for God and Jesus, ever found out who Saucy Jack really was! “Ripperologists“ around the world have put forth their theories conserning his identity, everything from pedofile Lewis Caroll to the Prince of England! But each of these theories has some hole that discredits it.

    An modern artist`s rendition of what Jack the Ripper may have looked like

    So, who was Jack the Ripper?

    I don`t really care.

    That`s not what I`m writing about today. The question I`m bringing forth is: what`s the big deal?

    The way I see it, ole Saucy Jack was just doing God`s noble work by thinning the herd of Satan`s whores. What`s so wrong with that? It`s not like he was killing nuns or good Christian women, so what`s the big deal?

    I could even understand all the hooklah if it were American women that he had been killing, but these were Brittish whores!!! We all know that Brittish women aren`t exactly the best lookers in the world – with the exception, of course, of that Princess Dye, but as we all know she was born in the stomach of a whale, and thus earned her title of Princess of Whales, so technically she doesn`t really count.

    Princess Dye aside, Brittish women are not at all attractive – which is probably part of the reason why 8 out of 10 Brittish men are homogays. And if the average Brittish woman is so hideous that she turns 8 out of the 10 men she meets gay, just imagine how hideous the Brittish whores must be! And remember, this was in 1886 and we all know that the standards of beauty were lower then, so these women must have made a blobfish look beautiful.

    Photograph of a 1886 Prostitute

    So what`s the big deal? He did us all a favor by ridding the world of a bunch of sinners, we should be thanking him!

    God Bless America!http://www.casebook.org/

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    About The Author
    shameful_truth I look forward to laughing with the Angels, Cherubs, Jesus, and Jerry Fallwell as we look down at the Heathens, roasting in Hell, while we sit back sipping martinis, listening to St. Michael play on his harp while we debate our favorite episodes of 7th Heaven.

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