Where have all the good role models gone? Today’s children wandering free of parental protections and beyond collegiate campuses find themselves overwhelmed. The job market is crushingly competitive. Our culture is obsessed with celebrity and sexuality. What can our twentysomethings learn in this brave new world and who can they learn it from? One young man up to the task is a personal hero of mine. He exemplifies an impressive work ethic, a devotion to family life and a moral core that, despite the fact that he doesn’t share our faith, is still worthy of celebration by those of us in the Christian community. He also happens to be a fantastic stylist of the written word with a new book coming out this month entitled, “Eating Animals.” His name is Jonathan Safran Foer and he’s probably one of the most important Jewish novelists of our time.
A decade ago, Jonathan Safran Foer single-handedly reinvigorated the stuffy, boring old novel with his overwhelmingly gut-wrenching book “Everything Is Illuminated.” A self-made boy who had put himself through Princeton, Foer was a shiny beacon to twenty-year olds everywhere that there was something respectable– yes even noble– about being an artist of the literary arts in the glitzy internet age. His bestselling work also illuminated the pathetic nature of America’s lazy, underemployed youths who waste their lives with sexual ambiguity and music trends. His success brought deep shame to all those aging, chain-smoking liberals with half-finished manuscripts in their drawers. John Updike crowned Foer the genius voice of his generation, but sadly, the rest of that generation was off growing goatees and clicking around MySpace.
Jonathan’s painful and poignant Everything book was also a clarion call to older men like myself who love typing away, who love the beauty of the dictionary! As a journalist and a thinker, Foer has inspired me in nonstop, innumerable ways. His words are the lyrics to my favorite songs, they sing in my heart every time I walk by a keyboard like the gentle wings of excited angels. Come fly with me, come fly away! But his work was too good– it made the failures of this country jealous. They have thrown a litany of poorly-written commentaries and Amazon reviews his way. But Jonathan has stood tall and not let their hate stop him from working his necessary work. That’s a great lesson, my fellow Americans!
Foer’s second book, “Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close,” celebrated the intelligence some of us are born with, while intelligently delving into the horrors of 9/11. He used actual images of people leaping to their deaths from the Twin Towers in his pages, the very photographs that the liberal media has worked hard to suppress. They want us to forget how much the Islamic fascists hate us, but Foer would not be deterred by their agenda. He reignited the terrorist attack tragedy for his young American reading audience to feel on each and every page. It was simply unforgettable!
In life, Jonathan is married, lives in a comfortable home and loves dogs. He is also a magnificently vocal advocate of healthy and clean living. He may not have the physique of a football player, but his trim body and muffin top does tempt a head tussle! I only wish the bearded, pot-bellied hipsters of America would follow his lead. This is evident and obvious in his latest book, “Eating Animals,” which is a poetic and vital treatise on the changing American diet. Personally, I love meat and couldn’t live life without it. I think it’s perfectly morally acceptable and Biblically correct to eat meat and I think there’s something unnecessarily extravagant and leftwing about being a vegan. Yet, despite this, I will say that not all vegetarians are bad. There is diversity in the United States and that’s why this country is great! So I am willing to embrace this unique quirk of Jonathan’s philosophy here.
Even if you’re not a vegan, you can still delight in the prose stylings of Foer’s “Eating Animals.” It is an amazing work that shows a maturing Jewish writer at the peak of his insightful creative prowess. His soaring words put cruel and negative Jewish writers like Gary Shteyngart, Sam Lipsyte and Michael Chabon to shame. All they write about is chasing homely girls and how they lack the jocky virility to open a mayonnaise jar. Pathetic! Shteyngart’s work is full of ill-advised immigrant humor while being secretly critical of the foundations of American democracy and morality. He would be the perfect CIA template of a terror suspect with his shady visage and divergent thinking. What country do you hail from again, Comrade Gary? Maybe there’s a prop plane rattling back there sometime this week. Lipsyte is almost a charcuterie of the homegrown American terror threat– angrier than holy heck at the beautiful gifts this very wondrous country has given him. His writing is deplorably obscene and dangerous, a relentless manifesto of polymorphously perverse urges and opportunistic nihilistic Socialist propaganda. I am simply amazed that Lipsyte stopped masturbating long enough to write a single paragraph, let alone an entire book. He is possibly the meanest man ever allowed near a sharpened pencil. However this stump of a man ever came to be a published author is beyond me. Any halfway competent psychiatrist would see that he should be locked away in a padded room with an empty box of crayons to taunt his virulent brain.
Jonathan Safran Foer’s “Eating Animals,” published by Little, Brown and Company, is available now at a bookstore near you and would make the perfect Christmas gift!