NASA Scientists To Torture Space Monkeys with Radiation

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Once again NASA has proven that all scientists are evil, all by torturing several innocent space monkeys with Soviet nuclear radiation. Sickos!

I spat out my coffee in disgust this morning as I came upon this headline: Nasa to irradiate monkeys to study effects of long space trips on humans.

What a sick, veiled excuse to torture innocent creatures! What on Earth does forcing a poor, innocent monkey to get nuked with radiation have to do with long space trips on humans?

First of all, what business does man of doing on long trips in space? If we were meant to live in space, we would have been created with lungs to breathe all the vacuumed air out there. We wouldn’t need space suits!

Second, monkeys are monkeys.  Evolution is fake and doing experiments on monkeys has no bearing on man.  It’s all an excuse for these sick devilscientists to inflict pain and suffering on the innocent with nuclear radiation!  I bet Japanese scientists are somehow behind this research too!

My friends, the animals depend on mankind to protect them.  What a sad day when the innocent are exploited by who should be their protectors.  It brings tears to my eyes to think these cute, little cuddly monkeys will grow up sick with radiation dropsy, all so scientists can fill their sick torture vices and give high fives to Obama.

Let us hope that in 2012 we get a Republican in office who will ban all this spacewalk nonsense and focus on putting nuclear lasers in orbit to keep the Soviets in order.  All this visiting other planets is unethical and being used as an excuse to torture capture space monkeys.  Sad, sad world.