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South American Communist Hugo Chavez Demands Cubans “Bomb Clouds” Amid Drought
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Breaking: South Americans Declare
War Against Clouds, Mother Nature
CHAVEZ ASKS CUBANS TO ‘BOMB
CLOUDS’ AMID DROUGHT
The South Americans have declared war against nature. At approximately 5:52 am, our American intelligence intercepted a secret communist propaganda broadcast being delivered by socialist dictator Hugo Chavez, to his fellow South Americans and Cuban allies.
Donned in a pea-green terror suit, Chavez is in the 3rd hour of a diatribe that is blaming — get this — South America and Cuba’s recent drought on America.
Chavez is trying to convince his people that the clouds in their sky are the work of American military scientists, who have somehow learned how to control Mother Nature itself and are carrying out a UN-sanctioned rain-embargo against their sin-soaked lands.
This is simply preposterous. Instead of realizing that they are being divinely punished for being dirty communists, Chavez is seeking to make the American military his scapegoats and now is declaring war on nature itself. We must not allow nature to be victimized. Officials at the White House were not available for immediate comment at the time of report.
Update: 6:23 am
Bespectacled pilots at the helm, group of South American fighters seen climbing through stratosphere to attack innocent group of clouds, all part of communist military campaign against mother nature.
Communist warplanes plague the sky. A compliment of primitive South American subsonic jets have been spotted on satellite, racing towards a large, standing group of cirro-stratus clouds.
The lumbering jets have reportedly unleashed several devastating volleys of machine gun fire and at least several uniballs from their onboard WW2 era cannons.
As of report Mother Nature’s clouds seem undaunted and unaffected by these unprecedented attacks.
Hugo Chavez has grown more even more angered by Mother Nature’s apparent resolve and vowed to continue to deliver his speech for many more hours.
Meanwhile, surveillance has seen increased communist distribution activity within our Venezuelan oil fields, indicating Chavez is planning to fuel up planes and tanks in a very long and unknown military campaign against nature, which is an effective attack on America and her allies itself.
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4:22 pm
This disgusts me. Those lazy, dirty Mexicans know no end to their deprivity, do they? What did those poor, innocent clouds do to them? I think I’m going to go vomit, now, from sheer disgust at those sick, little animals. This is just further proof of why we should take every effort to sink South America as soon as possible, before they start bombing the clouds over America, as well.
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6:31 pm
1. South America is not solely composed of Mexico.
2. Mexico is in NORTH America, not South America anyway.
3. They aren’t going to BOMB the clouds. It’s called cloud-seeding, and it uses millions of tiny particles, like sand, to try and make it easier for raindrops to form. We do it in the US as well during droughts.
I don’t know what’s worse, your grasp of reliable journalism, or your grasp of Scripture.
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8:41 am
I’ve been warning people about Venezuela for months. Our troops aren’t in Colombia for the coffee or to keep those nasty drug cartels in check. We have more troops there than you realize. And yes, the weather can and is being controlled.
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8:03 pm
he looks just like the man who used to rake leaves in my yard. he was very sweet and drank from the garden house. my son used to pay him 10 dollars a day. i always felt bad he had that awful skin.
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8:06 pm
Well, now it looks like you know why he was drinking from the garden hose. Sneaky little devils.
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8:07 pm
Janice put down her crack pipe to write: “i always felt bad he had that awful skin.”
You’re ranting about someone else’s skin when you have that awful 1950s retro hairstyle? Just WHO does your hair? Or is it some sort of whackjob rule that Christianists must have horrid hairstyles?
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