Attack of the Snuggies
My dear White Christian American friends,
I am writing to you today to alert you of a growing threat that I have been perceiving for many months now. This threat has been slowly, but surely, overtaking your local drug stores, your supermarkets, even your Wal Marts and Targets. It has even, so I have been told, been taking over the airwaves broadcasted onto the television sets of those who have not yet, like I myself have, thrown out their television sets.
I am talking, of course, about Snuggies.
These dangerous and deceptive liberal…things have been slowly creeping there way into our lives, like a stray cat that wants you to adopt it. At first, sure, it seems all cute and cuddly and will be a great companion for your children, so you take it into your home, feed it, let it sleep at the foot of your bed and you think that you deserve a nice big old pat on the back for doing a deed well done. But then, WHAM! BAM! You are suddenly awaked in the middle of the night by the sounds of your children screeming as the furry fury tares there innocent little faces off with its teeth.
Not so cute anymore, now is it?
Ever since these dangerous…things came into the marketplace, I knew there was something wrong about them, but I could just not quite place my finger on it. I could almost literally smell Satan`s handiwork all over these mysterious…things.
But what exactly was it that sent off my internal Satan Alarm?
Well, there are many things potentially evil about the Snuggies. For one, they very clearly promote sin by encouraging people to wear bedding instead of clothing, which leads to immoral thoughts which in turns leads to immoral acts and also encourages sloth.
For proof of this, I submit the following images. Please pray and have all women and children leave the room before viewing these images of questionable morality.
Two Person Snuggies
Snuggies for Hippies
Snuggies For Those Creepy Homogays That Like to Dress Up as Fuzzy Animals and Do Immoral Acts
But that is not all. Once the Snuggie craze began to take off, they began marketing these veil…things to individual freaks, as well.
If you stopped praying and let the women and children back into the room, you did so too early as there is more questionable material below to be viewed. Please resume praying and have all women and children leave the room again until such time as I tell you that there will be no more images of questionable morality.
Snuggies for Cults
Designer Snuggies
The Snuggies have also been attracting extremely shady groups of people, as evidenced below.
Snuggies for Devil-Worshipping Witches from the Evil Harry Potter Series Created by John Kevin Rowling
Snuggies for Evil Space Warriors
More Hippy Snuggies
Snuggies for the KKK
Even ghosts have started being drawn into the Snuggie craze!!!
But my good, White Christian American friends, it was only recently that I discovered the real threat that the Snuggies pose to our society, and today I shall reveal this terrible plot to you.
The Snuggies contain mutagenic powers!!!
Yes, you heard me correctly. Do not believe me? Just view the highly disturbing before and after pictures below and you will see the dangerous effects that have been caused by people who have been over-exposed to the Snuggie threat.
Before:
After:
Before:
After:
Before:
After:
(This one I find particularly disturbing…)
Before:
After:
Before:
After:
Before:
After:
You may now take a break from praying and allow your women and children to return to the room.
That last example clearly displays what will happen in the extreme case of someone who receives maximum exposure to the Snuggies` radiation.
Who is behind this veil plot, I do not know, but I would be willing to bet that they are liberals.
My White Christian American friends, we really must do something about this dangerous threat to our existence. I fear it is only a matter of time before the radiation contained within the Snuggies begins to make these…things self aware, and then we will have a real international crisis on our hands.
Write to your congressmen today and demand that all Snuggies are pulled from the shelves. If any relatives give you Snuggies for Christmas, a) burn the Snuggie right away and b) report your relative to your local exorcist because they most likely have been possessed by a demonic spirit.
God Bless America and Merry Christmas to All White Christians!
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: shameful_truth
I look forward to laughing with the Angels, Cherubs, Jesus, and Jerry Fallwell as we look down at the Heathens, roasting in Hell, while we sit back sipping martinis, listening to St. Michael play on his harp while we debate our favorite episodes of 7th Heaven.
6:37 pm
what an unusual amount of fail even for you shameful.
seriously this is ridiciolus even by your standards.
they are fucking just BLANKETS with sleevs.
“But then, WHAM! BAM! You are suddenly awaked in the middle of the night by the sounds of your children screeming as the furry fury tares there innocent little faces off with its teeth.”
seriously if my blanket attacks anyone i’ll fucking belive satan exists. but then again i haven’t really heard of people who were attacked by blankets so i think i’ll sleep fine tonight.
“For one, they very clearly promote sin by encouraging people to wear bedding instead of clothing”
they do? how exactly? i just see a nice warm blanket you can wear whille watching TV or reading a good book or maybe just have a chat with your loved ones. if anyone wears this in public….first word that comes to mind is humiliating.
” which leads to immoral thoughts which in turns leads to immoral acts and also encourages sloth.”
base of this statement is? why would wearing a blanket lead to imoral thought? why would such thoughts automaticly lead to imoral acts?how is sloth encouraged by them?
“Two Person Snuggies”
oh NO!!!! it’s big enough for 2 people to comfortbly wearing this cozy blanket at the same time whille hardly even touching each other thats….thats….thats….why is this bad exactly? what is it a sin to be cozy now?
“Snuggies For Those Creepy Homogays That Like to Dress Up as Fuzzy Animals and Do Immoral Acts”
how are these exactly difrent from those others? oh and more than gays…those guys looks like mascots you dumbass.
“Snuggies for Devil-Worshipping Witches from the Evil Harry Potter Series Created by John Kevin Rowling”
first: that thing is called a robe. you may recognise it as that thing your local priest wear.
second: THERE’S FUCKING NO JHON KEVIN ROWLING!!!!! J.K.ROWLING IS A WOMAN BY THE NAME OF JOAN FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY AND SACRED!!!!!!
“Snuggies for Evil Space Warriors”
once again the word you’re looking for is robe.
“More Hippy Snuggies”
again, thats a robe.(also thats not a hippy thats a jedi. might wanna look up what starwars is you’d problably have something to rave about for the whole week even.)
“Snuggies for the KKK”
anyone wanna take a guess? thats right it’s more fucking robes.
“Even ghosts have started being drawn into the Snuggie craze!!!”
seriously is this some kind of bad joke within all the other crap you posted? what the fuck are you talking about? no really i wanna know. i really truly wanna know what you thought proses was when you saw this picture. i wanna know how you saw this picture and came to the conclusion “thats a ghost wearing a snuggie”. how? HOW!?!?! i mean i look at it an what i see is 2 snuggies on a freaking coathanger. you really have to explain this one to me.
“Yes, you heard me correctly. Do not believe me? Just view the highly disturbing before and after pictures below and you will see the dangerous effects that have been caused by people who have been over-exposed to the Snuggie threat.”
i’m not even going to go into how insane this statemnt is. where’s your proff? anyone can can take random pictures of the internet and write before on one and after on the other. thats not proff. have you seen it happen? can you provide me with a youtube link where it happens? where the hell is your god damn proff you asshole?
seriously this is your most insane rambling yet. what the hell is wrong with you? how did you even come to thye conclusion of any of this?
oh but you are properly going to ignore me because i’m asking all the same questions like asking for proff. wah wah wah. jazze can’t belive anything without proff….well maybe i should start beliveing without proff… maybe i should start by beliveing the story i heard about how all churches have a secret portal to hell where they sacrefice children in order satisfy god whille you rape cats in his name and plan the destruction of the world. maybe i should staret beliveing that every major accident or crisis the last 2000 years were cause by christians.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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8:47 pm
Don’t……….coz if you do, then you’re no better than Shat.
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9:08 pm
I agree with ALL that you said
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10:10 pm
“they are fucking just BLANKETS with sleevs.”
Actually, Jazze, I’m going to have to disagree with you on this one. They are not blankets with sleeves, they are far worse than that. At least blankets with sleeves would be somewhat innovative. All that Snuggies are are backwards bathrobes. That’s it.
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4:24 pm
Don’t take this tardmonger too seriously. Even God can see that this is a joke, and what he is joking about when he says that they encourage people to wear bedding instead of clothing is that he thinks people will start doing it in the streets wearing snuggies. He may be a retard, but he’s joking with this article. BTW: CAN ANYONE SAY COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT? No? Well, how about PHOTOSHOP!!!
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11:45 am
Thank you captain obvious! The Whole Entire Thing is a joke the author just has too much free time and made some shit up for a laugh. haha. The only value that condemning his work has is to make me laugh even harder at the ludicrousness of it all. ROTFLrotflrotfl
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2:23 am
Hey dumb ass this essentially a troll site. You have just been trolled. The fact that you wrote a small essay makes it even better.
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10:32 pm
This article is the greatest proof that this site is mostly satire. Except for the ones that actually believe the crap they write (I’m looking at you, Marie Jon!).
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8:51 pm
Merry Christmas, you racist hicks!
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9:13 pm
I have a question.. why woman must leave the room? They can know how is wrong or not. Stop thinking like a God, because you’re not. Men and women should be equal. THAT’S IT!
P.S : And I love Kellan Lutz!! You know, one of the guys in blue
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9:16 pm
Well, it’s just his face, by Photoshop, haha! And no, it’s not Satan !
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9:46 pm
You have just proven why women are not qualified to view questionable material without masculine supervision. Thank you for answering your own question and saving me the trouble.
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10:12 pm
Well…if a man supervise me, what he can do or me? ”Oh, it’s a nude person now, please close you eyes few seconds!” And a woman can understand the good or the bad. The women are not stupid. Men can be worst. You know… men like you ?
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10:15 pm
and shat you are just provne that you are a sexist and it’s why christians is dying HOPEFULLY
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10:24 pm
Do you really expect anyone to take you seriously after you continually stick your foot in your mouth and show how stupid you really are by proving that you do not know the difference between an island and a continent? Honestly…
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2:54 am
shameful you belive alask is an island beside hawaii. also haveing used that as a sole argument to ignore everything being said is rather pointless. but then again thats the basic reason palin will never become president.saying something stupid once. now she will forever be that stupid women who think she’s smart. oh wait no thats because she keeps saying retardet stuff just like you.
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7:15 pm
here you go. the nice, god-given truth.
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1:46 pm
This thread has been won
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12:59 pm
So… if I disagree with you, White males shouldn’t have opinions?
BTW, The snuggie is just a backwards bathrobe, and has nothing to do with “Liberal conspiracy”. That’s just ignorant.
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6:49 am
those things are fantastic!!!!! just awesome! I wish they were sold even here! My heating system is broken and it would really be useful!
for the rest of the article: junk!
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12:10 pm
Yes…I bet you WOULD enjoy having a demonic head growing out of your chest, wouldn’t you? Sick Italians…
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8:39 pm
your joking, tell me your joking… you really think that they mutate people?! Btw some of the “snuggies” that were shown we’re not even snuggies, they were robes!!
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11:51 am
This is hilarious are all of you in like a forum to force people to die of laughter or something?
haha Hey that should be your next article! 
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12:33 am
i’m sorry but 1 of the pics is a baby carrier 4 babies 2 keep them warm wats so bad about that
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12:11 pm
Wow. Just wow.
It seems like our good old friend Mr. Shameful has taken a random object, typed it into Google, and searched for the next best (photoshopped) image and claimed it were somehow immoral.
It’s laughable, even by your standards… The ‘Chinalien’ and Bearsharktopus’ articles don’t even come close to this…
Ironically, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Snuggies was created by a Christian with Christnans in mind. But that would be irrelevant to shameful_truth; evidence or mere facts are nonexistent in his dictionary.
I’m not at all surprised that most people who go on this site for the first time automatically assume it is a satire site. If it weren’t for shameful_truth, this site would simply be a purely racist, sexist and homophobic sausage-fest. Instead, it is extremely entertaining and ridiculously laughable. If anything else, he is embarrassing the Christwire community with articles that are deeply moronic even for them!
I’m pretty sure you’ll “temporarily release your ignore button” to thrown another funny insult at me (like you do with all of my comments…)…
And you STILL haven’t replied to my last comment on this article:
http://christwire.org/2009/11/jack-the-ripper-whats-the-big-deal-anyway/#comment-25333
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1:13 pm
“I’m not at all surprised that most people who go on this site for the first time automatically assume it is a satire site. If it weren’t for shameful_truth, this site would simply be a purely racist, sexist and homophobic sausage-fest. Instead, it is extremely entertaining and ridiculously laughable. If anything else, he is embarrassing the Christwire community with articles that are deeply moronic even for them!”
Just curious, does this mean that you think that Christwire was originally intended as a legitimate extreme Right-Wing Christian Site and that Shameful, and possibly a few other writers, are making fun of them?
I only ask because I find it to be a very interesting discussion topic, and none of the writers will ever acknowledge that facet of the debate on this site (except for Shat with his trademark response “Their ain’t nothing funny about…”) You attack their arguments, you attack their “beliefs,” you attack their grammar and spelling and you’ll get a tirade of priceless, moronic comebacks, but the second you question their seriousness and sincerity…it all goes silent.
To me it’s a critical question, because the answer means whether I should laugh at them, or cry for the fate of humanity for these idiots are going to bring about the Apocalypse.
I think we all agree that the writer behind Shat is a satirist. Abe also proved himself in that category by writing the Bearsharktopus article (the fact that Abe is supposedly a part of Jack “JBox” Gould’s “real life ministry,” is further evidence that the whole thing was originally intended to be a joke…but more on that in a bit). Amber proved herself a satirist by writing an article titled “Racism is Never Okay but I Hate Chinese People” (or whatever the exact wording was…) Stephenson Billings is questionable, but the fact that he continues to write articles filled with so many obviously homosexual innuendos and then persists to deny that he said anything questionable while posting hundreds upon hundreds of pictures of half-naked men, leads me to suspect that he is in on the joke as well.
But the real deciding factor is Captain Jack. If Gould is a fake, then the site itself is. I’m sure there are a few idiots out there who don’t realize it’s satire and have jumped on the bandwagon (perhaps the conservative Adam Nelson, for example…though I’m not convinced of his “convictedness” either…), so to speak, which is what makes it so hard to tell who is joking and who is serious.
I have already gone into great detail in the Chinalien article (http://christwire.org/2009/11/photographic-evidence-of-the-origins-of-the-chinasian-race/) just about proving beyond a doubt that Jack Gould is a fake. I have yet to receive any response from any member of the Christwire “flock” as to the evidence I have put forth.
Just curious to hear your thoughts on the matter, god, since you seem to think that the site is genuine and that Shat is just mocking them.
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9:26 pm
it’s actually Racist and sexist
yet he still continue to stick His island and continent definition through me whil I just said the truth
But what do you expect for someone who works for republican who repeat the same shit over and over, like the republican did in the past 200 years To steal the election by brainwashing people and now since people becomes More intelligent they get a Hard time to actually admit their surrender
Oh and Mister Shat next time you TALK about my english grammar. First Look Into the mirror if it’s not broken by your ugly face
Second In canada, Liberal and conservatives are two party of suckers so calling one of them is an Insult to me since in Canada the Liberal party is also Right wing
Third : My english is quite Good compared to some redneck retarded Guy who didn’t even finished his Third grade in elementary school yet I got 87% in college and 90% in advanced class
and Fourth, My first language is French NOT english because I’m a Proud citizen of quebec in Canada and we are not fucked up christian who use his supposed Bible to spread Bullshit
And for everyone else who think it’s satire I don’t know if it’s a Joke but let’s me tell you this
A human can be racist and sexist like those people here and the southerner are the same people who voted against a Bill to protect dick cheney’s company
The BILL itself was to protect women victim of gang rape
well for them the 1+1=2 it’s a Liberals theory so they won’t learn it and they Home school their kids so they will become retarded like them all they learn is God hate everyone including you
Oh and for your Concern Shat whil I am thinking of it Your GREATEST country economy is on 3 different industry that you hate so much :L the movie industry (from hollywoof ) the gaming industry and the Music Industry, without those 3 industry your economy would Looks like a third world nation
Oh and Next time use a dictionary about the continent island will you seriously I don’t wnat to repeat Myself and it’s would be stupid and retarded to try to teach someone like you even if I’m a teacher Myself, but you are a desesperate and irrecuperable case
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9:38 pm
Jesus Titty-Fucking Christ, Kallios, shut up about the islands! Damnit. You are wrong on this one, and you are actually just digging your grave by making Shat right for once. Please stop. Jazze and I have already corrected you on this one NUMEROUS times, providing the definition of an island and the definition of a continent and showing that they are, in fact, by DEFINITION different things, and yet you still insist on claiming that you are right. Please stop because you are helping absolutely no one by keeping on this.
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11:03 pm
are you ALWAYS Retarded AS WELL ?? you surely an american southerner as well ?? seriously
By definition : Island a LAND MASSES SURROUDNED BY WATER
continent LAND MASSES SURROUNDED BY WATERS yes IT’S BIGGER that the difference
But still I have right as well SO shut the fuck Up as well
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12:47 am
Listen Kallios, I am going to post this one more time, even though I know perfectly well that you are just going to ignore it, which makes you even dumber than Shameful_truth, since I am 99% convinced that he is just joking about being stupid.
“isâ‹…land
–noun
1. a tract of land completely surrounded by water, AND NOT LARGE ENOUGH TO BE CALLED A CONTINENT.”
That is the mother-fucking definition taken straight from dictionary.com Seeing as this has repeatedly been given to you and you continue to argue us, it is clear that you are not understanding it so I am going to spell it out for you in slow-people talk.
THE…DEFINITION…OF…AN…ISLAND…STATES…EXPLICITLY (hope that’s not too big a word for you) …THAT…AN…ISLAND…IS…SMALLER…THAN…A…CONTINENT
So PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP SAYING THAT THEY ARE THE SAME THING AND MAKING SHAMEFUL_TRUTH SEEM SMARTER THAN YOU. You are not helping anyone.
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12:54 am
Oh, and no I am not a Southerner either. Though by saying that you are just further bringing yourself down to Shat’s level by insinuating that all Southerner’s are retarded.
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1:27 am
I take back some of the insults I have said to you, AGD. Not all, not even most, but some of them.
Kallios, you know you are not in good shape when you are even annoying the other liberals on here. Please crawl back into your hole or at least learn how to admit when you are wrong.
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7:33 am
You know, shameful, that is the first time I have ever read a gramatically correct and perfectly spelled comment from you on this entire site… You even spelled ‘liberal’ correctly!
Reward yourself a pat on the head.
And Kallios and Ambiguous, just leave it be, nobody cares anymore and shameful_truth is literally creaming in his oversized pants to see some disagreemnt on here that isn’t directed at him. The attack of the Snuggies is clearly more important right now…
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12:05 pm
I’m sorry, god, you are right…but it just REALLY bugs me to see Shameful be right about something for once…I mean on the scale of bad omens that has to be right up there at the top…Like you said, he’s even started becoming grammatically correct…This cannot be good…Seriously, isn’t that like the sixth sign of the Apocalypse?…1-4) The four horsemen, 5) Vision of Martyrdom, 6) Cosmic disturbances…If Shameful Truth being right about something and speaking grammatically isn’t a cosmic disturbance…I don’t want to know what is…
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5:23 pm
Thank you so much, shameful_truth for writing this masterpiece article. I was about to buy a snuggie for my uncle but after reading this article my eyes have been opened! God bless.
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6:23 pm
Always glad to provide a service to a fellow White Christian American in need, my good friend!
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10:53 pm
Oh.My.Gosh. Another ignorant person! Noooo it’s a bad day !
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11:04 pm
it looks like Tweedledee has found his Tweedledum
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1:29 am
Me thinks we is being mocked, Mr. Jenkins…
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5:47 am
nooo really? you saw through our ingeniuos secret plan of mocking you straight in your face and realised we are actually makeing fun of you?maybe you really are smarter than i originally thought. you may actually have an IQ of 6
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7:35 am
“Me thinks we is being mocked, Mr. Jenkins… ”
Oh dear, it doesn’t get any more stereotypical than that… But then again, he has already admitted to coming from a place called ‘Bucksnort’.
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12:05 am
god, you just made yourself dumber than shameful….
that was the one and only intellectual thing he has written….
he has used poetic license to rephrase the quote:
“me-thinks she doeth protest too much”
of course, everything else he says is absolute tripe.
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11:22 pm
Juliee! c’Est pas correcte de te moquer des malades et des retardés mentaux de ce site!
And guys…WHat the fcking hell is that all about!?! Shameful you look like a damn mental ill! Go get a job..I dont konw? Return to school to learn about real thing… we all know now why some people are so stupid…Let the snuggies alone! Damn! It’s just a fcking blanket! GO GET A LIFE! Go play domino for the love of God!
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4:19 pm
How dare you compare the emperor’s royal guard and bad ass Obi-Wan to this trash…
Seriously though, thank you for giving me entertainment from your stupid ass article.
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4:35 pm
There is not anything entertaining about Snuggies taking over the world, sun.
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5:06 pm
How is Twinkie a ‘sun’? What celestial object am I then?
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5:43 pm
An ignored one.
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5:50 pm
Oh dear, but you have still responded to my comment. Albeit with a very contraditctory one…
Wouldn’t you really be ignoring me if you wouldn’t respond with a comment in the first place?
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6:11 am
Is… this serious? I am lost for words…
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12:34 am
Weezer Snuggie! I wanted one for Christmas, but I don’t think I’m getting it.
I love it how people still believe this is real. Honestly? I don’t think anyone could say that Rivers Cuomo was turned into a horse without being satirical.
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2:27 am
Here’s ten dollars. Why don’t you be a good sport and go out and haunt yourself a hotel?
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7:08 pm
“Here’s ten dollars. Why don’t you be a good sport and go out and haunt yourself a hotel?”
Wait…so where’s Old Lace? Your satire is showing again, Shat…
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8:34 pm
AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS SITE, but probably not for the same reasons its followers do
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4:59 pm
The only reason I come to this site is for these crazy articles.
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9:17 pm
“which leads to immoral thoughts which in turns leads to immoral acts and also encourages sloth.”
But you’re fat, shameless_truth. Why should you be telling us how to not be lazy?
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2:13 am
You guys…this is a parody website. It’s either made to piss people off or make Christians look like homophobic, sexist, racist, and arrogant peices of trash. Which most of us aren’t, by the way. The only person who I think follows this site religiously and seriously is Stephenson Billings. But even then it’s sketchy. If you see any comments from me it’s probably to release steam from a crap day. I know that Christianity’s main concern is not NCIS, Cats taking over America, Obama being a NAZI, World of Warcraft, or Snuggies. So don’t put any merit into this site. It’s good if you need something to argue with because they don’t even attempt to make legit arguments.
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3:53 am
I’m sorry….WHITE CHRISTIAN AMERICAN FRIENDS?! LMAO! HULLO RACIST! And you show the KKK wearing “Snuggies”…are you in that picture? I don’t know if perhaps this has escaped your understanding..but you do realize that specifying “WHITE CRISTIAN…” you are implying that you are excluding other races, henceforth..being racist. Did you get that? Maybe you need it put in simpler terms……your “God” does not exclude anyone from his “love”. Did you miss that part in the bible? Or are you stuck on the Old Testament? And…um…another thing…really? Snuggies? Did you run out of topics to complain about? I mean…I’m confused….Blanket/robes that will eat your children’s faces off? You have GOT to be kidding me…please tell me this is a joke…anyway, I have some World of Warcraft to be playing. Have fun hugging your corrupted morals close to keep you warm!
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2:23 pm
I hope you guys are all non-native speakers of English because that is the only possible excuse there could be for your horrible spelling and grammar usage.
(Most of you that is. Symgharil seems to be well enough educated, and probably many others of you. I got tired of reading all the comments).
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2:41 pm
I question your ethics, son. I’m assuming you’re a public journalist and not an intern, but the formatting is very unkempt and you’re language not befitting a good, Christian male’s necessary mastery of our language.
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7:55 am
Oh yes. Because Abe is the perfect model of grammar and eloquence. Please.
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12:14 am
by the way…
very poor usage of the word “unkempt”
you are obviously trying to sound smarter than you actually are
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12:17 am
This “article” is the clincher ! ~ This MUST be a satire.
Anyone this dumb would not be able to live without life support !
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2:22 am
I just have a question. What’s with the -White- Christian American thing? I mean, I get that you guys are all about being Christian and American and everybody else sucks. But now we have racism, too? Or is it just that you, personally, the author, have no non-white friends? Or perhaps it’s some twisted logic wherein non-white people cannot be Christian? Inquiring minds are begging to know.
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12:25 pm
They’re just sweaters backwards you RETARDED people who believe that a man in the sky controls everything! Why is he killing millions around the world?
I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?
We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes
Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer
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10:34 pm
“God Bless America and Merry Christmas to All White Christians!”
Arent Christians supposed to love everybody? not just white people?
wtf?
way to go you white supremacist asshole….
why dont go to your klan meeting
and your neo nazi convention…
fucking hypocrite
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7:51 pm
This is all so crazy… Abusing cheating wives and evil horse blankets?!? I mean is this all for real-real, or just for play-play? I have shed tears for the audacity of these insane columns and laughed, equally. I can hardly stomach the idea that there is a person out there who is actually crazy enough to come up with all this, and I pray that there are not others that work on this belief system. I hope you can eventually open your eyes. There is so much more to life than all this craziness… Much, much more. I don’t think you need to find God, I think God needs to find you.
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9:21 pm
I am talking, of course, about Snuggies.
oh my god, i laughed my balls off, this site is awesome.
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3:15 am
Please tell me this is a joke
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12:07 am
I think Snuggies dont resume anything evil.
They are just blankets…. with holes for your arms and head.
I wouldn’t want to be freezing to death just because I thought some blanket was “evil’
The pictures you provided were just pictures of people/ animals being silly.
They were not meant to be taken seriously.
Also some of your pictures were not snuggies at all!
KKK, Harry Potters character, and starwars?
I agree with a lot of people i hope this is a joke
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6:31 am
I am just laughing out the whole time reading every single story you posted.
Havent had such fun in a long time!
You should become an comedian! Really i think the whole world would love the laugh about your stories. A comedian couldnt have done it better!
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10:11 am
Is this supposed to scare me out of buying a snuggie or make me laugh so hard that I fall out of my chair? Well it made me laugh so hard I fell out of my chair thanks for the entertainment.
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10:35 am
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
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9:04 pm
Wow, I had a good, hard laugh with this!
First, I thought you were serious.
Then, I thought you were promoting Snuggies on the sly.
But then I got to the “mutagenic properties” section, and laughed like I hadn’t in some time.
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3:38 pm
I’m glad I found this site, great for an afternoon laugh!! Hilarious!
The stupidity here is top notch! Keep up the good work “Shameful,” you are taking it to a new level! (insert biblical reference here)
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3:10 pm
You know what I love about this article?
He thinks that Snuggies- an inanimate object used to keep one warm- is possessed.
I thought only Billings could be this stupid.
It’s. A. Fucking. Blanket.
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12:44 am
You are so fucking retarded!!!! xDDDDD OH. MY. GOD! xD Half of those aren’t even Snuggies, you moronic douchebag. Wow. Only a moron would pick a fight with a blanket. You are so deprived… <xDDD
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10:13 am
I do not have the pateince to read your entire stupid rant.
I just wanted to let you know the snuggie now comes in white…
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10:14 am
Wait! I forgot to relize, Look! The pope is wearing blood red shoes and walking down a firey path! He must be the devil incarnite!!!!
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10:45 pm
So…this isn’t a joke then?
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7:33 pm
You are now officialy my Dumbass Ideot Of The Year!
Congrats!
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9:17 am
Oh. My. God.
I literally come on this website for laughs, because honestly you guys are the biggest bunch of arse-wipes that have ever existed.
They are backwards ropes, with ties. That’s it, I have one because I get really cold all the time, and it has never, ever, tried to pry my skin off.
Oh, and that Harry Potter image, LOOK IT UP, It’s the Hogwarts robes. And Harry Potter is like, amazing, thank you very much.
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7:20 pm
Well. This is the one page where if you haven’t realized this is satire before, you have now.
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5:15 pm
as if any further proof were needed, last night a demonic apparition materialized in my bed wearing a snuggie. but this snuggie was strategically designed to expose the demon’s babylonian backparts. the temptation was great, but i overcame it through prayer and a VHS loop of my favorite 700-club special guests.
to all you jerks calling this satire, i earnestly entreat you to turn back from your wicked ways. true believers know christwire is a voice crying in the wilderness of our homo-besotted new media landscape, ‘prepare ye the way of the LORD*!’ must you insert your fingers into this web site’s bloody holes, like so many doubting Thomases, to believe – and truly hear – its message?
*(whites only, please)
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8:52 pm
Holy shit, this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read on this site. I freakin’ lost it when the Star Wars picture came up. Well done.
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12:34 pm
jeeze kinda looks like something moses would wear u fucking retard
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1:25 pm
Hmmm, is it just me or do christians get even more retarded by the year? If there weren’t stupid people well then there wouldn’t be any churches.
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8:51 am
This Is By Far The Stupidest Thing I’ve Read On This Stupid Site.
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3:31 pm
Ummm….Your Suppose to put them over your clothes.
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4:05 pm
My dear White Christian American friends,
I stopped reading after that. Bigotry and racism are not very appealing.
Unless of course this is satire.
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