• Lewd & Lascivious Jewish Teen Launches Hug A Ginger Day

    December 2, 2009 2:26 am 32 comments
  • Share on Tumblr
  • hugging a ginger may lead to pregnancy

    There is nothing wrong with being a redhead. There is nothing special about being one, either. Yet this hasn’t stopped one particularly libidinous Jewish teen from trying to sow his kosher oats with a dedicated, “Hug a Ginger Day” holiday. The campaign, launched by California high schooler Andrew Cohen and spread across the country using the popular website “Facebook,” threatens to result in a frenzy of inappropriate proximity and privileges amongst America’s littlest learners. So far, over 2,000 children have agreed to take part in this teenage grope fest, scheduled for December 8th. Because of the grass roots nature of Cohen’s campaign, school administrators have not been able to get a handle on this situation. Parental permission slips have not been sent out and many teachers may be caught off guard by the sudden explosion of pansexual touchings on Tuesday. In an era when the Swine Flu Pandemic is ravaging our schools and kids are constantly sexually harassed by their public teachers, is letting this sort of activity proceed really a good idea?

    Recently, Sarah Kershaw wrote about the legal and moral issues of overhugging in America with her thought-provoking investigation in the New York Times, “For Teenagers, Hello Means How About a Hug?“ She noted that,

    “Some students complain of peer pressure to hug to fit in. And schools from Hillsdale, N.J., to Bend, Ore., wary in a litigious era about sexual harassment or improper touching — or citing hallway clogging and late arrivals to class — have outlawed hugging or imposed a three-second rule.”

    “The prevalence of boys’ nonromantic hugging (especially of other boys) is most striking to adults. Experts say that over the last generation, boys have become more comfortable expressing emotion, as embodied by the MTV show “Bromance,” which is now a widely used term for affection between straight male friends.”

    It’s unclear whether this “Hug A Ginger” event is aimed at heterosexual hugging or if there is some underhanded attempt to get boys to touch each other inappropriately on school grounds and in restrooms. For girls, it may open the door to unwelcome advances from male students desperate for lustful gratification. For parents, this type of outwardly expressed teenage sexual experimentation is a slippery slope that can hurt a girl’s chances to gain admission to college, particularly if it results in the stages of pregnancy (though this is certainly the type of self-expression that will fight right in at certain colleges). Cohen may also be underhandedly advancing his own self-aggrandizing and procreative needs. California Penal Code 288 specifically defines this type of contact as “lewd and lascivious” behavior. While this crime is usually a misdemeanor, a conviction still results in a criminal record and the possibility of lifelong registration as a sex offender. For this reason, all sex crime charges must be taken very seriously.

    hugging a ginger may lead to pregnancy

    On a more profound level, the “Equal Rights” clause of the US Constitution makes it perfectly clear that there is no reason whatsoever to single out one set of people for special rights and privileges or celebrations. Singling people out because of their physical attributes is simply racism. This is precisely the sort of thing that got the Germans in trouble in the 1940s. This is obviously something the redheads are trying to circumvent and violate. In truth, this whole special rights issue is eerily reminiscent of many of the affirmative action and gay rights legislative actions we have seen recently in the United States: giving one type of people legal power and super rights because they have spent more money and time lobbying certain elected officials. It is an endemic issue for the Democrat Party, where slush funds and donations from special activist groups have resulted in the worst types of government decrees, from tearing down Christmas displays in an Orange County courthouses to gay marriage laws.

    Money or notoriety may also be factors in this whole endeavor. A half dozen “Hug A Ginger” Facebook groups have already formed, all with competing dates. Some even suggest a week-long hugging event. The University of North Carolina recently instituted its own Ginger day, created by a female student who is not currently in a relationship. Could this result in yet another federally-funded and union-approved holiday? Could we see the redheads of America singled out for special affirmative rights, like Native Americans? President Obama has made it perfectly clear that he will embrace each and every liberal interest group with a checkbook so only time will tell. Inevitably, the backlash has begun. Students in Los Angeles who oppose this liberal agenda held their own “Kick a Ginger” day just last week.


    Thanks for rating this! Now tell the world how you feel through social media. .
    How does this post make you feel?
    • Excited
    • Fascinated
    • Amused
    • Shocked
    • Sad
    • Angry
    About The Author
    Stephenson Billings Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package! Facebook me here or Fanmail me: StephensonBillings@yahoo.com !

    Facebook Conversations